ROSES
CHAPTER TWELVE
With her heart pounding painfully on her chest and her trembling body flinching at every sound she heard, Dani wiped her tear-covered face as she waited at the main street outside the carnival. Drawing her hand away from her face, she grimaced at red streak on her sleeve that came from the very painful gash on her left cheek. She still hadn't fully processed the events of the night. It all felt so surreal. How could this have happened? How could things have finally been so calm one minute, only to be interrupted by such a terrifying event the next minute? Even more upsetting to Dani was the fact that Nick lied to her. He had made her believe that if there was anyone she could trust wouldn't lie to her, it was him. And she had kissed him. It wasn't her first kiss, but it was the first kiss that was important and meant something to Dani. How could she have let herself be so blinded by her emotions and trust for him?
She sniffed as a familiar black car sped up toward her, her dad and brother probably having skipped several red lights to get to Dani after her call. Feebly, she pulled herself off the wall she was leaning against, walking to the car as her dad and Calum jumped out and hurried to the shaken girl. Her running mascara, droopy eyes and slumped, limping figure– not to mention the wound on her face– were enough to show that the teenager had gone through a hell of a lot. Just seeing her was enough for Matthew and Calum to quicken their paces toward her. Barely able to stand anymore, Dani dropped into her dad's arms, burying her face into his neck as he warmed her up with his loving embrace.
She wished so badly that she hadn't run out of the house and left with Nick. She should have stayed home, let her brother and father explain. They loved her more than anything and Dani knew that very well, so how could she have believed for one second that the fact that supernatural beings were real and that they hunted them changed the fact that they would always protect her? The thought of having been so distrusting and cruel toward them made her eyes sting, tears soaking her dad's shirt. He kissed the top of her sweaty head before pulling away slightly. He held her exhausted face in his hands to get a better look at her.
"Let me see your face." He shook his head and looked away after taking in the unbearable, battered appearance of his daughter.
"It's not too deep," Calum said, trying to reassure himself and their father. "We're gonna go home and get you all fixed up, alright, kiddo?" His glassy eyes and clenched fists showed him to be torn up by all that Dani had gone through, but he was more pulled together than their father; able to comfort Dani while all their dad could do was mutter frustrated words under his breath. Calum kissed the side of his sister's head, wrapping his arm around her waist to help guide her to the back of the car. The way Dani flinched when she climbed inside the car and her brother closed the door behind her made Calum shake his head with gritted teeth at how much the poor girl had gone through. He walked to the other side of the car and climbed into the back seat beside Dani. The warmth of the car heaters and the feeling of safety of being around her brother and father had reduced the feeling of being suffocated by her thoughts, fears and aches.
Tears revisited her eyes when her dad said, "this is why I didn't want you around them." She wished she had listened to her family and avoided Nicholas Scratch and Sabrina Spellman and the chaos they had dragged her into, she did. But the other part of her... the sympathetic, caring part. The part of her that felt something so true, and so genuine for the boy that it felt like an arrow or a spear had been shot at her chest... didn't at all regret running away from the haunted house, but couldn't help but feel such a heaviness being weighed down on her shoulders for leaving being in the heart-wrenching state he was in. He had lost someone– something– he cared about, who apparently was a parental figure to him, and Dani knew more than anyone else what that felt like. In fact, he had killed his family, no matter how monstrous and inhuman it was, for Dani. "If you had just listened, Dani-"
"Dad, not now," Calum hissed, curling his arm around his sister's neck and pulling her close. "C'mere... try not to think about it, alright? Dad and I are right here, we always will be."
Wiping her cheeks with the soaking sleeves of her top, Dani rested her head on Calum's shoulder. As comfortable as she was in her brother's arms, Dani couldn't bring herself to fall asleep. It wasn't that her eyes weren't heavy or that she didn't want to sleep, but every time her eyelids would fall for even a second, even for a blink, the image of the hairy, clawed and fanged beast would flash in her head, making her breath hitch and heart thump even louder. So, instead of the drive to their house feeling quick like it should have with the short distance between everything in Greendale and the dangerous speed her father was driving at, the travel home felt like several torturous hours for Dani who couldn't brush away the fear of what she would see if she let herself fall asleep.
When the car slowed down and began pulling into their driveway, Dani couldn't find the strength and energy to sit up and exit the car although she so very much wanted to be in the safety of their house, in the comfort and warmth of her bed. She urged her head to lift off her brother's shoulder and for her arms to raise and pull the door car door open, but every single bone and muscle in Dani's body refused to obey her, anchors weighing down on them. She felt like she had just drowned, tied up in heavy chains and unable to rise back up to the surface. She could breathe, but even so, she still felt like chains were around her, crushing her chest and lungs. She could see, even through the blur of the tears in her eyes, but she couldn't bring her irises to move, staring in one spot like she was daydreaming, except she wasn't daydreaming; she was having a night terror. A real-life night terror experienced fully consciously, and that didn't seem to end even despite being away from the danger. Even as her brother helped her out of the car and guided her into the house, Dani couldn't see or hear or feel anything– not the smell of the grass and the flowers or her hand grazing against the door frame of their house. She couldn't even see Calum or her dad. All she could see was the tall, broad, silhouette of a beast, all she could smell was the dog-like scent of its grey coat of fur and its acidic breath, and all she could feel was its hand wrapped around her neck so tightly that had it tightened its grip on her neck even a little bit more, her pulse may have stopped.
"Over here." Dani's dad patted a chair at the kitchen table after he exited his office with a small, brown box. Following his instructions, Dani shambled to the chair, sitting down and watching him zip open the white pack filled with plasters and pain killers. With both hands on either side of her face, Matthew examined Dani's cheek. "Barely even a scratch." He chuckled half-heartedly, trying to console his daughter while he used a disinfectant wipe to clean the dried blood surrounding the wound. She watched cautiously when a small, round, flat, cream jar was pulled out of the box. With her heavy eyelids and her exhausted, frail body, Dani still managed to find a way to be concerned by the cream; the word, "wolfsbane" was carved on the lid of the cream, and through the translucent body of the jar, she could see a purple substance. She stared cautiously as her dad unscrewed the lid and used a cotton swab to pick up a bit of the unusual coloured cream. When he moved the cotton swab forward to apply the strange purpleness to Dani's face, she pulled away, so sure that by its unnatural colour and odd name, this had something to do with the hunters and supernatural creatures. "Wolfsbane... it's to kill off any bacteria or toxins that may have come from werewolf's scratch. It'll help speed up the healing and reduce the pain," he said, but his assuring elaboration did nothing to reduce her uncertainty toward the medicine, so, still, she kept a distance. She trusted her dad almost more than she trusted anyone, but after everything she had seen him do– even the things like tonight at the carnival, that he hadn't been involved in made her mind race because although he hadn't been there when everything had happened, Dani knew that at some point in time, he had probably dealt with many things like this.
Pushing aside her dislike of the idea of being treated with the cream, Dani glanced to her brother for some sort of approval. Calum had always been there for Dani, especially after their mother had passed away, and he had always been open and honest with her (with the exception of hiding the fact that their family are demon hunters, but she was sure that it was their dad who encouraged keeping this from her). So, although Dani was aware that he was just as involved with demons and witches and werewolves as their dad was, her doubtfulness of the cream subsided just a little bit– enough for her to lean forward (but frown and stare warily) as Matthew gently dabbed the cream onto her face before covering the area with a large, squared bandaid. "Let's get you to bed, kiddo." Calum held a hand out for the limp girl. After hugging her dad goodnight, Dani let herself be led up the stairs by Calum. She had never realized how long and tiring the stairs were, but then again, it took so much strength from her to lift even one foot onto a step.
Dani felt like she was being crowded upstairs, like there were several people walking around instead of just her and Calum. Limping to the bathroom, she sighed; she could feel Calum following behind her. "You don't have to follow me around," Dani muttered, not even turning to look at her brother before closing the door behind her. It was a little bit frustrating how from the second they'd gotten home Calum had been like a tail to her, refusing to leave her alone like any second a demon would whoosh in or a werewolf would smash through the hard walls and hurt her. From such a young age Dani had already been through enough to take care of herself, and even so, her father still had always been incredibly protective of Dani her entire life. She hated being coddled like a child– her dad being overprotective was something Dani had gotten used to, but this... being shadowed by her brother throughout the house like she was a baby who had just begun to walk was an unnecessary addition. She did feel safer than ever, though, with Calum sticking to her the way he was. She'd never admit it, though.
Dani stood in front of the sink, washing her dust-covered hands in the sink. Fearful of looking into the mirror with she forced herself to keep her eyes down. In her head, she saw herself looking like a corpse, or even worse, like a zombie. She could feel that her hair was knotted and was sure that her tears had left clean trails on her dirty face. The sweaty girl bent forward, collecting water in her hand from the tap and splashing the cool liquid onto her face. With closed eyes, she felt around the rack next to the sink for a towel, picking it up when her hand landed on one and drying her face with it. When she looked in the mirror, her eyes weren't staggered by the sight of a teenage girl who looked just like one of the monsters she had encountered today. Instead, her breath caught in her throat at the sight of what stood behind her: the werewolf.
"You okay in there?" Calum's voice called from the other side of the door, but with her heart thudding in her chest and blood pumping so loudly in her ears, Dani couldn't hear a thing. Her vision disfigured as though she were looking into a telescope with unclean lenses but still, through her tear-filled eyes, she could see the creature, feel it. Dani had finally managed to stop the memory from flashing in her head every time she blinked, but here it was, stood behind her, bigger and darker and more blood-curling than before, sending numbness throughout her entire body and pins and needles to her feet. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe and every time she tried to, a sharp stab-like pain hit her as though the werewolf had shoved its enormous claw through her back.
"Dani?" Calum called again, and this time Dani heard but her blurry eyes couldn't leave the mirror and her breathing was so shallow and uncontrollable that she couldn't utter out a single sound, even a cry for help. "Dani, I'm coming in!" When the unlocked door was thrown open, Dani still couldn't find enough air to breathe or turn away from the mirror, eyes too fixed on the snarling beast behind her. "Hey, look at me. There's nothing there, okay? Whatever you're seeing, it's not there." His hands tightened around Dani's stiff shoulders, turning the terrified girl around. She was ready to scream, even though her brother stood perfectly fine beside her as though nothing was there. But still, it felt to Dani that Amalia was there, standing behind her, ready to pounce and rip her throat out. When she was turned around though with her heart thumping roughly against her ribs, she saw nothing aside from the shower where Amalia was supposedly standing. "See? You're okay," Calum mumbled wrapping his sister in his arms as she began to regain her breath. "I promise you, Dani, that dad and I are always going to keep you safe."
"And you'll stop hiding things from me?" Dani's words were muffled into his shirt but still audible. "Even if dad tells you to?" Against the side of her face, she felt Calum nod.
"Anything you want to know, I'll tell you, but not now; right now, I want you to sleep." He untangled his long arms from around his sister and wiped away the fresh tears on her face that stained the plaster on her left cheek.
"I don't think I'll be able to." Dani stared down at her hands with a frown as she followed Calum to her bedroom. Even though her tears had stopped falling and her heartbeat was less painful, the werewolf and Nick were still all she could think about. If stressing about grades could keep her up at night, then the memories of Amalia and her concern for Nick would definitely restrain her from getting even a few hours of sleep.
"I'll sleep in your room, then. Keep an eye on you." Calum rubbed her back comfortingly as they entered her room.
"I don't need you to keep an eye on me, Cal," Dani said, walking to her closet and pulling out the first pair of pyjamas she saw.
"Yes, you do. I'm not going to leave you by yourself."
Dani dropped her pyjamas on her bed and looked at her brother with a sigh, giving him a wan look of surrender. She was so tired, felt so weak that if even the slightest blow of air brushed passed her, she would fall, shatter into a million tiny pieces. She wanted space and time. She wanted her room to herself, to lie down without her brother and dad prodding at her and asking if she was okay, or to cry without being told that she was safe and that she'd be okay. She was safe, yes, but far from okay.
"Alright..." Calum sighed, running his hand over his tired face. "But you have to promise that if anything happens, and I mean absolutely anything... you let me know straight away." Dani nodded promisingly and watched as her brother left the room, closing the door behind him.
Dropping onto her bed, she buried her face in her hands, elbows propped on her knees. She wanted more than anything to lay down and sleep. To close her eyes and fall into an unconsciousness filled with light and happiness, her family– her entire family, mother included. Just filled with anything as long as it consisted of nothing that went on in her real life. This is exactly what Nick had meant about Greendale. All it took was time, and this town that was supposed to be an upgrade from Riverdale turned out to be worse by a great amount.
Just as Dani was about to flop into bed and give sleeping a try, her eyes flew open to the sound of wind. Assuming the window had flown open, she forced her barely responsive body out of bed with a sigh. But upon seeing what had actually made the noise, she screamed, her back hitting her closet with a loud as she staggered backward in shock. "Nick?" He stood beside the window with red-rimmed eyes and blood-covered clothes. She wanted to scream again, for her brother and father to come and make Nick leave her alone, but concomitantly, she wanted to walk up to him and get one of those distinctive Nicholas Scratch hugs, the ones that never failed to make Dani forget about the world around her. She didn't know what she wanted. She was so confused, tied up in a tangle of lies or truths and reality or falsity. At this point, she didn't know the difference between anything or whether she was even hallucinating or not. "H-how the hell did you get in here?"
"Dani, please forgive me." Nick took a cautious step forward. Instinctively, Dani tried to step back which only resulted in once again in slamming against her closet. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Amalia... she was jealous... jealous because she knew I like- I love you."
"Stop," Dani cut him off before anything else could be said. She didn't want to cry in front of him. She didn't want him to see how big the hole he had torn in her heart was, that she could break down any second because of how he'd made her feel about him right before he'd revealed himself as a witch and dragged her into his string of lies and danger.
"I'm so, so sorry, Dani. I can explain everything if you'll let me," without pausing, he continued, leaving Dani unable to process anything and find the words to interject. His voice got shakier and shakier and he spoke, "I'm a... a warlock. That's the male equivalent of a witch which is w-what Sabrina is. We go to an academy in-"
"I said stop, Nick!" Dani threw her hands up in infuriation. The more Nick explained, the more he proved Dani's point that everything she had believed about him— that he was a witty but secretly kind and wholehearted person who cared more about others, especially Dani, than himself. That he'd never betray her or be dishonest— were complete and utter lies. Dani didn't want to believe that it was all a lie. That what he had said only seconds ago... that he loved her... was a lie.
"Dani," he pleaded, his bloodshot eyes tearing up. "I never meant to drag you into this. If you'll just let me, I can fix all of this. I can explain everything."
"I want you to leave," Dani said firmly, forcing with all her will for her tears not to spill.
"Dani..."
"I swear, Nicholas, if you don't leave right now I'm going to call my dad and my brother and tell them you're here, and you know that I don't want to do that." She looked down at the floor when she felt a lump forming in her throat, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "So please, Nick... just leave," she whimpered.
It was silent for a moment. Dani refused to lift her head, knowing that if she saw Nick's face that was probably even more broken than before, if she looked into his normally warm brown eyes that looked like they had been wide open in chlorine water for hours, she'd break into tears.
She had hoped he had teleported back out so she wouldn't have to face his heartbreakingly sad face. But then he spoke and Dani automatically looked up, taking in his appearance that she had been so jarringly accurate about. He watched her with those tear-filled, puppy-like eyes of his, licking his chapped lips. His voice was soft, a sound of surrender as he croaked out, "okay, Leesha, I'll go. But just know that if you, for even one second, thought that that kiss and my feelings for you aren't true... they are and always will be. If you change your mind, and I pray you do, I'll be at our spot." Then, in the blink of an eye, he vanished. She choked out a sob, clamping a trembling hand over her mouth, muffling the noise. It came out in a strangled cry as she dropped to her knees, one arm wrapped tightly around her stomach in a futile attempt to keep herself from falling apart. Through the blur of tears, her eyes caught on the crimson petals of a single red rose, resting on the floor in the same place Nick had stood, begging her to forgive him.
Dani stared at her favourite flower that Nick had so cleverly tried to use as a gesture to sway her. He hadn't exactly not swayed her; her heart fluttered against her will at how he'd remembered they were her favourites. But as soon as she recalled the horrific events of that evening, her heart shattered all over again. She missed his comfort and his hugs and she knew that Nick must have been longing for consolation as well. But Dani couldn't forgive him for all the lies, not now at least and the more she stared at the rose, the more frustrated she became because all it did was make her think about the warlock. It was a glaring reminder of the moments they shared, the love he'd given her, and how it had all been ripped away in one single moment.
Dani rubbed her eyes tiredly with her fists, wiping the salty tears from her skin in vain. She reached out across the space, her hands hesitating over the flower. Nick had stood so close that she could have reached out to touch him, to forgive him, but they could never go back to the way things were. She craved the time where she'd been so completely and blissfully ignorant of the darkness surrounding her, the infinite web of lies, spun by both her family and her friends.
She twisted the thorny stem of the rose between her fingers, contemplating whether to throw it away or keep it. She couldn't just toss it in the trash— of course, she couldn't, not when her heart still longed for the boy. She sighed and walked to her bed, dragging her feet. Sitting down, she pulled the drawer of her bedside table open and carefully placed the rose inside, staring at it with tears falling down her cheeks and onto the floor below. She took one shuddering breath, before finally sliding the drawer closed, locking the last remnants of Nicholas Scratch out of sight.
_____ ♔_____
→ author's note
thought i'd start updating twice a week instead of once considering the wattys2019 deadline is coming up soon! anyways, i hope you liked this cute little chapter. i personally ship Dani and nick so much, they're adorable.
votes, comments and follows are very much appreciated!