Chapter Sixteen
Four days since the incident with Judge. And there's been no sign of the Order or the Transmutes and we can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
I'm lucky that things ended the way they did. That Judge didn't decide to take his anger out on anyone else before us. I let my mouth get ahead of me, but I told the truth. And I still believe that we can't join either side. But I can't put my pack at risk either.
All three amigos have been staying with me. Day and night. Dunn and Hicks camp out in sleeping bags in my living room, taking up half the space in my house, while hard-headed River insists on sleeping in the banyans. And between trying to keep Dunn from punching River in the face, keeping River from ripping anyone else's head off, and avoiding Hicks' worried frowns, I've been kept pretty busy.
For once my house is empty and I'm sitting in the middle of my living room floor in a rare moment of solitude. Dunn and Hicks have gone off somewhere, and I never really know where River goes. My focus is on weaving palm fronds into another doll for T.K.; anything to keep my mind off of the things I can't explain.
When River bursts through my back door, I jump. He stares at me from the doorway for a moment, breathing heavily. My eyes widen as he plops down across from me, cross-legged, our knees touching. I notice the already white scar from where I bit him with my shark. Guilt twinges in my gut.
"Have you talked to Finn?" he asks, chest still heaving, eyes twitching right to left as he looks from one of my eyes to the other.
I can't help but inhale his scent. My lids close and I shake my head. I've been to the Bank at least five times to try and talk to Finn, but Blythe always has some excuse about why I can't see him.
"Have you talked to Wolf?"
My response is a sigh. I still haven't shifted into her since the night Judge attacked. Not for lack of trying, she just refuses. I can feel her guilt, there's plenty of it to go around, but I can't find any sympathy for her. She deserves it. We shouldn't keep secrets from each other. I can't keep secrets from her and it ticks me off that apparently she can. And the fact that Finn is clearly involved makes it even worse.
The ones I've known my entire life have isolated me, and even though Dunn, Hicks, and River are with me every day and night now, I've never felt so alone.
Everything feels like a dream. Like this new reality full of lies and dark pasts and hidden motives is made up and at any moment I'll wake up and things will go back to the way they were. Ignorance really is bliss. Then again, ignorance isn't known for keeping anyone alive.
My eyes pop open when I feel a pair of hands on either side of my face. I'm growling. Well, not me, it's Wolf, really. But River's closeness has put me on edge as well.
"Sorry," I say.
"I need to speak with Wolf." River holds my head a bit more firmly so Wolf can't make me look away.
I'm not sure if he realizes it, but his thumb rubs along my cheekbone. "Y-yeah, okay. Have at her," I say, willing my body temperature not to rise.
"It's been long enough. I left to give you the chance to explain things to Falon. You clearly haven't," he says, brows creasing together, "You have to sort this out." River doesn't bat an eye as Wolf's growl gets louder and deeper. "This secret is going to destroy your bond with Falon. From the inside out."
Wolf growls louder. The vibrations of it make me cough. River brings my face a bit closer.
"Don't give me that. You've got to decide whether or not this secret is worth it."
I'd always assumed River's eyes were just a really light blue, but they're not. They're completely grey, a really light grey, with a darker band around the iris. I can't look away. Not that I could with how tight he's holding my face.
Wolf's temper rises then falls. She huffs loudly in my mind. No. Will tell, she says.
I let out the breath I'd been holding. "She'll—," I start, but it comes out as an awkward choke. I clear my throat, "She says she'll talk to me about it."
River's reaction to me speaking makes it seem like he'd forgotten I was there. His eyes get wide and his cheeks turn red. I'm pretty sure my expression mirrors his. He lets go of my face like he'd been touching a hot burner on the stove and scoots backwards.
"Sorry," he says, thumbing the scar on his cheek.
"T-that's okay."
"So, uh, hold her to that. She has to tell you."
Will tell, Wolf growls, annoyed that he's doubting her.
Promise me, Wolf. Please, I plead.
Her annoyance vanishes, replaced by guilt. Pinky. Promise. She means it.
"She will. I know she will," I say.
"Good. We're not out of this yet. We need you two in top form."
"It's too much to ask for them to ignore the fact that Judge has vanished, huh?"
"Wishful thinking at its most dangerous," River says, standing to stretch. "So, what's on the agenda for today? Endurance? Stamina? Or just a good ole fashioned skirmish?" He looks giddy, excited for the challenge.
"Well, Dunn told me he had plans for all of us this afternoon," I say.
His mood deflates a bit at the mention of Dunn's name, but he smiles anyway. "Any idea what those plans are?"
My ears prick at the familiar roar of the Hummer, headed our way. "We're about to find out."
River looks confused, but then he hears it too. He raises his eyebrows at me. "Getting better, grasshopper."
"Won't need you for much longer at the rate I'm going," I joke.
River's face loses all trace of emotion. He looks out the window.
"Hey, I'm just kidding." Because I have no idea what else to do, I lightly punch him in the shoulder. Like a mature adult.
I don't wait for his reaction, instead heading out the front door to wait for Dunn and Hicks. They rumble into view just as River comes out the door. Strapped on top of the Hummer are two longboards. Dunn turns the Hummer around, back towards the path and sticks his head out the driver's window.
"Grab your suit! We're going surfing!" he yells.
My smile is so big it hurts my face. It's been a long time since I've been in the ocean for something other than running for my life or chasing down a stalker.
I dash back into the house, change into my suit in record breaking time, then run straight back out and into the Hummer, flying by River.
Dunn turns and smiles at me from the front seat, "It's about damn time we got to do something fun. No vampires, no werewolves, no Blondie—"
Dunn starts to pull away, but I yell at him. "Wait! River's coming too."
He slams on the brakes and turns around to glare at me. "What? You see I only brought two boards, yeah?"
"And I know you've got at least five," I say, rolling down the window. I lean out of it and see River is still standing awkwardly in front of my house. "Move your ass or we're leaving you behind!" I wave for him to come.
He looks from the path to the deeper parts of the woods to the Hummer then back again. I half expect him to take off into the woods. Neither he nor Dunn have made their dislike of each other a secret. But he forces a smile at me, hustles to the Hummer, and gets in.
I scoot over to the middle seat, ignoring how my bare thigh rubs the fabric on River's jeans. "Can we pick up the kids too? I haven't seen them in a while with all that's been going on."
"Sure, sure. Go ahead and invite the whole town." I can't see his face, but Dunn's sneer is clear in his voice, even though I know, deep down, he loves those kids almost as much as I do.
Hicks punches a number into his cell phone and hands it back to me. I have a quick conversation with Simon, who says he'll drop the kids off at the beach after he picks them up from school. Wolf and I are ecstatic. We've missed the pups.
Like most of our rides together, this one is silent. Dunn is stewing in the front seat, Hicks is chewing on a toothpick, and River has his forehead pressed up against the window.
Because I can't take it anymore I pipe up, "Have you heard anything from Finn?"
Dunn snorts. "Uh, yeah. He gives us updates everyday. You haven't talked to him?"
"He won't talk to me."
"What? So he didn't tell you he's talked to the Order?"
"What!?" I fling myself between the front seats, laying on the middle console to get a good look at Dunn's face. "What do you mean? What did he say? What did they say?"
"He really didn't tell you? Why wouldn't he tell you?" Dunn says, entirely to himself. "Maybe he doesn't believe them. They said they'd leave it alone. That Judge's death was his own fault and that they hadn't told him to come after you."
"So they're holding up their end of the deal?" My mind goes back to what I heard Finn saying to Judge, about some kind of deal he had with the Order to leave him alone.
"Seems like it. But if Finn didn't tell you about it, must mean he's still worried."
My confused staring must make Dunn uncomfortable because he pushes my head back with his hand. "Look, it's not really my place. You need to talk to Finn, yeah?"
"Yeah, everyone keeps saying that. I flop back into the seat and look at River. "Did you know?"
"Yeah," he shrugs. "I agree with Big Mouth, you need to talk to Finn."
"Exactly. This isn't something—" Dunn stops. "Yo, call me that one more time, Blondie, and we're gonna have issues."
"Oh boohoo, you both have dumb nicknames for each other," I blurt. "I'm the one who should be mad. Neither of you thought to discuss this with me? You should've mentioned it! Finn be damned!"
"Finn be damned is right," River mutters under his breath.
"What?" I snap. I heard him, but I want to see if he's brave enough to say it to my face. Finn has done a lot wrong lately, but he's still someone important to me. And I'm the only one allowed to mouth off about him.
River looks me square in the eyes, and I think he's going to say it again, but Hicks, very noisily, turns round in his seat, pushes his sunglasses down his nose, and glares at us. River and I readjust ourselves to look like good children. Hicks replaces his sunglasses, moves his toothpick to the other side of his mouth, and turns around again.
I look over at River and his expression is along the lines of "holy shit that was scary."
"There she is," Dunn sighs.
The Hummer spins its tires in the soft sand, coming off the forest path onto the top of the white dunes. The ocean is a glistening blue of infinity, a deep teal near the shore that darkens the deeper it gets. White peaks of breaking waves cover the surface and, from this angle, no would argue that it's not a living, breathing thing.
"Have you ever been surfing before?" I ask River. "On a board, not as a dolphin."
He shakes his head. "No. I'm afraid of sharks."
At first I think he's serious, but his face breaks into a big grin and I know he's referring to when I bit him. As a joke, thank goodness.
"Yeah well, it'll be dusk soon so you might want to sit this session out. It's twilight time for sharks."
I can see the edge of a smile on the right side of Dunn's face.
"Anything you can do, bud," River declares.
I roll my eyes. Hicks and I both exit the Hummer, leaving the two knuckleheads to peacock.
When I close my door, I'm left in awe of the ocean now that I can see it without the dark tint of the windows. My sigh is long and deep. Hicks turns to me. I squint at him, frowning. He suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me into his massive chest, closing his arms around me in a hug that is so warm and unexpected and welcoming, that I start to tear up.
For a moment, I'm dumbstruck, face stuffed into his massive body. But, with Wolf's wild encouragement, I wrap my arms around his waist, barely making it the whole circumference, and nestle into his chest. I don't know how he knew that I needed this—I didn't even realize I did—but I'm glad he did. I've felt so painfully alone lately. With Wolf, and Finn, and River even. It's always nice to be reminded that someone is on your side.
When Hicks lets go of me, he tousles my hair and makes his way down the beach, shiny, black shoes sinking deep into the sand. He's whistling a tune I don't recognize.