Chapter 10
The following Monday, Eliza was late to her 3PM meeting since she was being held up by numerous phone calls. She felt bad that she had to walk in during the middle of the presentation, but hated it more that eyes were on her once again. Her usual spot was taken by a familiar face, but it was that same face brought immediate discomfort. There was an empty chair beside him, but she opted for the one at the end of the table– a seat beside Troy.
Troy not-so-discreetly opened up his notepad and scribbled a message to Eliza. While she was quietly turning over her folders, she looked off to the side and noticed the largely drawn arrow that was to the small print, "Is everything okay?"
Troy awkwardly leaned his elbow on the table and quickly glanced at her, and she promptly nodded her head with her eyes still focused on the papers.
When the meeting had come to an end, Eliza didn't immediately jump to her feet like the majority. Timing was key, now, and Andrew was slowly packing up his belongings, surely matching his pace to hers.
Suddenly, she was taken aback and looked up to leveled green eyes, when he said, "It's all right."
Eliza swallowed hard and finally understood why Troy was standing and leaning over the table to block her view.
"You don't have to do that," she whispered.
"There's a lot of things we don't have to do, Ms. Kelly," he simply replied.
"May... may I speak with you in your office, Mr. Daniels?" she asked with heavy bags underneath her eyes.
He nodded once, and they escaped the watchful eyes of a fervid man.
"He's going to think something is going on between us. He can report us," Eliza lowly panicked after entering Troy's office.
He shut the door and sighed, "Of all the people to report about office relationships, him?"
Troy's question was unquestionable, and Eliza looked down to the ground in shame.
"Now, what's going on Eliza?" he asked with a smile, and she lifted up her eyes to him again at the sound of her name. "But please, do take a seat wherever you like."
She opted for the small couch near his desk and plopped back into the firm seating. While Troy was sitting at his desk and arranging his files, Eliza tried to find the words to begin. However, it was hard as she looked over the collection of picture frames near his computer.
There was Helen and Charlie in a picture– a warm smile on his sister's face while her baby laughed with excitement. Another frame contained a candid shot of an older couple, white-haired, smiling with their cheeks together with lovely eyes that had looked to the camera before the shot was taken.
"Those are very nice pictures," Eliza muttered without thinking.
Troy's brows were high, as he peeped, "Ya think so? I took all of them."
"Really?" she asked with astonishment.
"Mmm hmm," he smirked.
"So you weren't lying when came into my office to view the panoramic," Eliza cracked a little grin.
"No, ma'am," he proudly answered, while lacing his fingers over his desk.
Immediately, her smile faded when she looked at the clock.
"Don't worry, I've got time," he reminded her with his Southern hospitality.
"This is going to sound strange... Troy, but I... you're the only one I feel that I can talk to here," she finally confessed, though the words fought against her instincts.
"I'm sorry that's the way it is, Eliza," he sighed.
"I feel awful for ignoring your email after the delivery, and I'm sorry for seeming so defensive," she said with more anxiousness. "I really don't mean to–"
"Whoa, whoa! You don't have to apologize for anything, Liza," he quickly cut in, but then looked as though he just swallowed a fly.
Eliza was just as surprised, but before he could say anything she whispered, "It's okay. I don't mind it."
"Sorry, it's just habit," he apologized, while adjusting his tie.
"It's fine. I think that's common amongst friends? Shortening names?" she weakly smiled.
"That's true. What would you call me?" he immediately perked up.
"Oh... uh," she was caught off guard and didn't think such a silly question would ever come up, let alone be that hard to answer. "T?"
"I love it!" he laughed. "Thank goodness you didn't say "Troy Boy". That's been over-killed."
She had to wonder who had been over-killing that nickname, but she wasn't able to dwell more on it as he let the few seconds that slipped between them revert him back to his previous expression.
"But I mean it... don't apologize for anything. It was all understandable. Really," he reassured her.
She looked down at her lap, "Are you sure?"
"What are you questioning... Liza?" he softly asked.
"For being so closed-off," she shrugged.
"So," he mimicked her gesture.
"What do you mean?" she frowned.
He stuck out his bottom lip while picking up a folder, "You're allowed to be."
"You don't find it strange?" she questioned with urgency.
"Why? Because you're a woman?" he grumbled.
Eliza looked off to the side and took in a deep breath. She didn't want to answer because she knew that he was already way ahead of her.
"You know... as Southern and country-bred as I am, I don't care much about about the "lily-to-fold" versus "grabbin'-the-bull-by-the-horns" shit," he confirmed. "What does that do, really?"
"It's not something you can ignore though," she slowly cut in.
Troy shrugged, "Of course not. That's just the way the world wants to see it. I love my ma, and not once did I ever think she wasn't as strong or capable as my pa. She was out in the pastures with him, day in and out, but still taking care of me and my sister. It's easy to assume that she spent more time with me and Helen, but my pa was just as present as she was. Schoolin', playin' ball, ridin' horses. The biggest difference between them was who would let us eat the most sugar after supper."
Eliza's snickers brought a side smirk and a dimple to Troy's left cheek.
"Your twang is more prominent," she chuckled.
"I'm comfortable talkin' to you like this," he shrugged casually, while he leaned back in his chair.
"That's odd. I'm not the kind to be comfortable around," she pointed out.
He returned another shrugged before saying that he personally disagreed.
"Now, I didn't want you to come to my office to talk about myself. You wanted to tell me something, Liza," he smiled.
"I'm not sure what I wanted to say, to be completely honest," she sadly admitted.
An even bigger smile was on his face, but he didn't part his lips to say what he wanted.
"Sometimes, it's nice to just be in a space that isn't yours," he sighed, and Eliza's eyes were holding his warm stare.
"I suppose so," she muttered.
"May I ask ya a question?" he began with a grin, and she nodded."How's the lil' peapod doing?"
"She's... she's fine," Eliza said with worry.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"Everything is still so complicated," she admitted with a shake of the head.
"I'm sure it is when someone continually canons into your office with a red face and a bark with no bite," Troy harshly shot back.
She shook her head, "There isn't anything that I can do about him. I don't want anything from him."
"That's understandable, Liza, but what does he want from you?" Troy questioned, looking at the picture of Charlie as an infant.
"All he wants to know is if I'm keeping her. He thinks I'm going to trick him into something," she vented.
Troy shrugged, "From his part... that's understandable, Liza."
She quickly looked to him with confusion, "How?"
"I imagine myself in his position. However, my drive to want to know is because I'm a family man at heart. I love children, and if I was closed off to my baby, I wouldn't be sure what to do."
"It doesn't feel right to me," she added.
His brows rose, "Why?"
Eliza shook her head, "Your reasoning is different, and though I don't know how he truly feels, I just know they're not even close."
"You can't prove that just yet, Liza," he admitted.
"Troy... the moment he found out I was pregnant he cut me off, and didn't dare to speak to me until he knew I had her. I did everything on my own. I've always done everything on my own, since I was a child. That's why I can't have a single ounce of remorse for someone who chooses to leave me to fend for myself, and I want nothing to do with him– not when I have the means to take care of myself."
"Eliza, I'm sorry, I–" Troy began.
But her tear driven confession went on, "I told you that it was just me and my brother growing up, and I've always been this way. Yet, for a moment I didn't think that I would be so alone anymore."
"You don't need somebody to be happy," Troy cut in.
"No, but that's easy to say when you have a loving family to fall back on, Troy. My brother..." she faded out, feeling completely defeated.
He quickly stood up and handed her a tissue. Kneeling down in front of her he watched, as she violently rubbed a red nose.
"Liza," he called, but she wouldn't look at him.
"My brother even left me alone in this. It had always been me and him until we started our careers. He got what he always wanted– his dream job, a wife, kids, a beautiful home. Yet, here I am."
"Successful," Troy angrily snapped.
"Abandoned. Emotionally abandoned by the only family I have left. I always felt like this since our childhoods. We didn't even know our parents, yet I still felt rejected. Now, my brother has done the same, and the father to the baby I didn't even want–" Eliza, stopped mid thought and flared her nostrils as she looked past Troy and his worried face.
"Eliza, talk to me," he tenderly begged.
"I don't want to state the obvious, Troy," she sniffed.
"Liza... I ain't colorblind," he informed her with a scowl.
She tilted her head down and began to sob, "Then you have to understand what I'm going through."
He shook his head, "No, and you can't expect me to Liza."
Eliza lifted up her wet face and showed him confusion.
"If there is anything that I could assume between you and me... it's that if we had been on the same path from childhood to now... you still would have had to work a million times harder than me to get here. Liza, I'm may not understand, but I try my damnedest to not be as ignorant as I could afford to be."
"You said you don't understand, Troy... but I think you just proved yourself wrong," she sighed, and they continued to carry on with their lazy gazes into each other's eyes.
"Liza?" he called lowly.
"Hmm?" she barely sounded.
Eyes were still locked, but then his slowly narrowed into fine slits– showing that Troy Daniels smile.
She slowly grabbed her phone and unlocked the screen to the photo album app that was already running. The album was rarely ever filled, but now it was holding the one photo Eliza couldn't stop looking at.
"That Sweet Pea?" Troy crooned.
Eliza sadly nodded and began, "Troy. At first, I didn't understand why I hesitated to keep up the calls for adoption towards her delivery date, but now I think I understand myself."
"Why? Say it out loud," he whispered.
"Because... because I can't bear the thought of making someone else feel the way I have all my life."