Orchestra rehearsal was the last thing I wanted to do the next evening, but I knew Pearson would lose his shit if I bailed, and I wasn't willing to risk losing my spot.
I lugged my cello to the performance hall, glancing around for Erin until I realized she wasn't there. Was she going to skip? That wasn't like Erin at all, and I hated to think it was because of me that she was missing something she loved.
I had taken advantage of Erin in some way last night. Yes, I had been drunk too, but I couldn't pretend I couldn't stop myself. Erin was addictive, and stopping would have been like ripping two of the strongest magnets apart - hard, but not impossible.
I set up my cello and stand and sat with my face in my hands.
"Hey, Charlie, are you okay?" one of the other cellists - Levi - asked me and I sighed. I nodded mutely, picking up my cello and moving two chairs to the front by Pearson's podium.
Almost twenty minutes later, I had established that Erin wasn't coming, and when Pearson took the podium, an audible sigh came from his mouth. He looked pointedly at me.
"Where is she?" I shrugged. "Can someone call her?" he asked, still looking at me. With a harsh whisper he added, "I asked you two to keep it professional, didn't I?"
I frowned. "What makes you think I'm the reason she isn't here?" He rolled his eyes, tapping his baton on the stand to get everyone's attention.
Then, quietly, he murmured under his breath, "Because the only thing Erin cares about more than music is her heart, and you're the one person capable of breaking it."
♭♪♮♫
It was nearly twenty minutes into rehearsing the Coriolanus Overture that the door to the performance hall creaked open and Erin poked her head in. Pearson stopped our playing and regarded her carefully.
"You're a bit late, Erin. I'm shocked you even showed up." She blushed, slowly taking her cello out of the case.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, "I wasn't feeling well at all, Mr. Pearson. It won't happen again." He patted her gently on the back and she took her seat beside me.
"Okay, so the Vivaldi, now!" I didn't know how this was going to work - Erin and I playing in sync seemed relatively impossible after what had happened that night.
Pearson started with the tempo I had suggested, and right on the downbeat when Erin started playing, I knew she was angry and she was fueling it into her playing.
And that's what made music incredible - the ability to infuse it with your emotions, with the things swirling around inside you. But anger made us careless, and Erin wasn't listening to me or to the orchestra at all.
Rage filled each stroke of her bow, each harshly fingered note, and I tried hopelessly to follow her lead. This was what she had been afraid of - we couldn't work together like that. This animosity between us was worse than what we had before.
I wanted to be with Erin, I really did, but there seemed to be parts of both of us that the other couldn't deal with.
♭♪♮♫
As I walked back to my dorm room, I felt Erin roll up beside me with her cello.
"Hey," I murmured and she looked up at the setting sun.
"I'm sorry about that, in there. That was so unprofessional of me and I just... I can't do this Charlie."
"Do what, Erin?" I sighed, and she sniffled quietly.
"Pretend I don't feel anything when I look at you."
"So you do feel something?" She laughed bitterly.
"I'd have to be dead not to. We're a force if fucking nature," she grumbled. "And I can't ignore it."
"What are you saying?" I asked and she shrugged.
"I think... we should try and be together." I stared at her cautiously.
"What changed your mind?" She stopped walking and I turned to face her. She narrowed her eyes at me for a moment, the sunset reflecting briefly in her eyes before she leaned forward and kissed me slowly. I pulled her closer, thrilled beyond my imagination. Despite what I had said about it being too hard for us to be together, Erin was still the only one I wanted to settle with.