We had lived on Devil's Point for a month, and yet it was the first time we all sat huddled at the square wooden kitchen table for dinner on a Saturday night. Aunt Mel still smelled of clay from her pottery class at the community center, which overwhelmed the scent of the pasta and meat sauce sitting in front of us. I ran my finger over a chip on the edge of my plate as I watched Nikki scowl and pick at a piece of bread.
"The sauce is good Aunt Mel," I offered. Pasta was Aunt Mel's go-to, ever since she left a meatloaf in the oven a few years ago and nearly burnt our house in Georgia down.
She gave me a half smile, the skin next to her green eyes crinkling. She turned to Nikki, who had now taken to stabbing her bread with a fork.
"Are you sure you don't want to eat anything sweetheart?" She asked.
Nikki glared daggers in her direction, as if sweetheart was suddenly the most intense insult anyone had ever called her.
"I told you I'm not hungry," Nikki snapped. "And I fucking hate tomato sauce."
Nikki aggressively scraped her chair back and tossed her napkin on her dish. She trudged away in silence, and after a few agonizingly long moments, her bedroom door slammed shut. My aunt let out a heavy sigh and rubbed her temples with her fingers.
"Since when does she hate tomato sauce?" she muttered.
"I don't know."
She sighed and clasped her hands together in front of her mouth. Her knuckles turned white, her nose reddened, and her shoulders heaved up and down, as she tried to slow her shaky breathing.
"You know, I read that some of the side effects of her chemotherapy can affect her taste buds and sense of smell," she said, her voice soft and trembling. "But she's just so upset, and...nothing I've read has prepared me for that."
"Don't worry too much about that." I rested my hand on her forearm. "The attitude thing is just Nikki being Nikki, and you know that. You're...you're doing what you can."
She nodded and smiled at me through glassy eyes, running her hand down the side of my cheek.
After cleaning up dinner and making my way upstairs, I heard a clattering coming from Nikki's room. I waited a moment before lightly knocking on the door.
"Fuck off," came the muffled response from the other side.
As angry and frustrated and distressed as we both were, I knew one thing Nikki could never refuse - a trip to the mall.
"Do you want to go shopping?" I asked. A few moments passed without an answer. I pressed my hand to the wall beside the door and let out a long sigh. I wasn't sure how long I stood there, alone in our dark upstairs hallway, trying to suppress all my emotions from ripping through me like a flood.
Suddenly the door was flung open, and a flash of blonde hair darted past me.
"The mall closes in two hours, we gotta go now!" Nikki called as she hurried down the stairs. Some things, despite any illness, any heartache, and any torrid emotions, never changed.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: So I'm collecting a survey for community service. How tall are you? Do you have any allergies? Are you free for coffee tomorrow?
I had to rub my eyes and squint to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.
I knew it was him, but that didn't stop my stomach from doing back flips. I couldn't hold back the smile that tugged at the corners of my lips, and to make matters worse, I had nothing even remotely clever to respond with.
"Hello? Earth to Nat! Are you even paying attention?" Nikki's shrill voice me from my daze. "Do you like this?" She waved a chiffon blue mini dress in my face.
"Where would you even wear that?" I scrunched my nose up. The dress was short enough to be a shirt, and the lack of straps made the risk of some sort of wardrobe malfunction even higher.
Nikki frowned and tossed the dress back on a rack. "I'm sure I'd figure something out. I'd wear it to bed if I had to."
I scoffed. Nikki shuffled through racks of more dresses, some adorned with sequins, and others with holes in places there shouldn't be. I looked down at the screen again, as if a response to his text would have just written itself, and when I looked up Nikki's hazel eyes practically burned holes into my shirt.
"What?" I asked. I grabbed the first thing I saw - a silky green tank top - and casually held it in front of my face as if I was actually contemplating buying it before tossing it back on the rack.
"You keep looking at your phone," she said with a shrug. "That asshole text you again?"
"No. It's nothing," I replied in a clipped tone.
"Your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth," Nikki said with a sly grin and a wiggle of her fingers.
I slapped my phone against my palm a few times. It had only been a week or so since we saw him outside the hospital, and Nikki had so eloquently removed my foot from my mouth so I could give him my number, but she had asked me every day since then if he texted me.
"It's that guy Brooklyn, from the hospital." I continued to shuffle between shirts on the rack to avoid eye contact with her. I ran my hand along a velvet, navy blue t-shirt and kept my head down towards the racks.
Nikki squealed so loudly I thought she was going to shatter the mirrors in the store. She bounced over to me and caught me off guard, snatching my phone out of my hands and staring wide-eyed at the screen.
"ohmygodwhatdidhesay?" She spoke so fast and furious it sounded like just one long word came out of her mouth.
"See, this is why I didn't tell you," I said with an aggravated sigh. "It's. Not. A. Big. Deal."
I reached for my phone but she pulled away. My stomach clenched when I caught a glimpse of her typing a response.
"Are you out of your mind?" I growled. I nearly tripped over the leg of a small wooden display table trying to dart over to her before she sent a message I'd regret.
"No, but you are," she quipped. "Why would you not hang out with him? He seems nice. I know nice isn't really your thing, but maybe it's time to try new things. This isn't rocket science, Nat. It's getting coffee with a guy. A very cute guy with very cute pickup lines."
"You really think I'm impressed by some stupid pickup lines?" I shot back.
Nikki gave me another sly grin. "No, but I think you're impressed by his effort."
I groaned and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. When I couldn't conjure up a response, her grin widened. She handed my phone back to me, and when I read the text, my face got hot.
NATALIE: Pick me up at 11? 65 East 10th St
TALL CUTE HOSPITAL GUY: I'll be there
I huffed out a breath and shook my head. "Bold. Too bold."
"That's the only way to do these things." Nikki nodded triumphantly. "You know what they say - go bold or go home."
"I'm pretty sure the phrase is go big or go home. And right now, I want to go home."
Nikki ignored my jab and grabbed the silky green tank top and the blue velvet tee I had picked up earlier. She marched towards the register and whipped around when she realized I wasn't following her.
"What are you doing?" I groaned.
"Going big. You need an outfit for tomorrow." She scoffed at me. "It's not like you've unpacked anything cute."
I felt another protest welling up in my throat, but I swallowed it down. Even if I didn't really need an outfit, and even if she did just insult the jeans and t-shirt I was wearing, Nikki needed this. If being her dress-up paper doll for one hour made her happy, then so be it.
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