Izzy X Female!Reader
It's pride month so this month's posts are going to be LGBT themed
Her hair gleamed like a goddess and her smile was like sunlight that flowers craved to the human eye. When she laughed it felt like you'd went weightless on a roller coaster drop ride, loving the fear it brought like the idea of loving her. No matter what she said, snarky or sweet, it was the stuff to inspire poets. She was my perfect, the thing that would finally make me feel whole.
The half of the best friend necklace that hung around her neck broke me though. The one around mine solidified it.
I'd known Isabelle since childhood, often talking about being parabatai. Every time I discouraged it, saying we could decide when we were older, and we didn't need a rune to best friends. It was bad enough she was straight, and I'd fancied her for years but the idea of it being actually illegal was too much.
The shadowhunter community was very accepting, choosing to hide all their 'problems' in a plastic tub and bury beneath their flower beds. Apparently not being straight was one of these problems. How dare you like someone of the same gender! Even though it wasn't your fault and oh yeah screw you.
I wasn't necessarily in the closet though; I just never spoke about it. plus, in the New York Institute, there weren't many boys my age, so it wasn't surprising I didn't like any of them. The only person I had told was Alec because, well that boys lets straight than a circle.
Alec and I were closet buddies and despite both of us being heavily friend zoned we could at least whine to one and other. Isabelle figured out Alec was gay, which wasn't too difficult since boys can't hide their, um feelings? Too well. She hadn't figured me out because apparently kissing girls in the club is something drunk girls just kinda did?
Although it wasn't what I wanted I was sort of content. Isabelle had boyfriends and hookups but so would Jace, so Alec and I were able to rant about this whenever they were out. Then Clary came.
I don't dislike the girl, but she is inconvenient for many reasons. It's made Alec all grumpy since Jace is in love and Alec can literally feel it because of their bond. Isabelle also likes to go on about that Simon kid and he's always around because clary's always around. It's a hellish cycle.
However, the biggest issue is Clary and Isabelle's friendship. For the past 5 years, Isabelle and I were the only girls our age who lived in this institute for more than a month. This meant Isabelle only knew what it would be like to be friends with a girl who was in love with her.
We didn't do the normal things girls would; talk a lot about boys, change in front of each other, check each other out before leaving to make sure we looked okay. I was in love with the girl, there was no way I was checking out her butt to make sure she hadn't sat in something. Hell no. but this was never an issue because she had no comparison.
We'd talk about fighting techniques, books, famous shadowhunters, and how annoying Alec and Jace were and how we'd get them back. For fun, we'd throw darts, do trick shots, spar, or made up silly games.
Clary came and was letting Isabelle do her hair, makeup, outfit, and would talk hot boys and relationships with each other. Clary wasn't that girly, but it still messed it all up. Know we were talking about first crushes and kisses and I had no answer.
Coming out felt like less of an option. I barely knew Clary, so I didn't want to tell her and now Isabelle was wanting to have the 'girl sleepovers' mundane kids had in the movies Clary showed her. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.
Alec wasn't having much fun either. Clary and Jace were a thing and Clary was beginning to catch on. Typically, Alec would train with Jace, but Clary kept pulling him in every other direction so when Alec came up to me and asked to spar I wasn't surprised. Isabelle kept wanting to have Clary at all our training sessions so we could teach her and how could I argue with that?
As I held the punching bag Alec hit it with all the pit up anger he had, the chain holding it up clanging loudly with each hit. "A new girl shows up and you drop everything?" he ranted while punching. "Do you wanna know what he said when I complained he missed training today?" he stopped, panting. We switched positions and I nodded. "Get a girlfriend," Alec held the bag for me.
I screwed my face up and not because of the stale smell of sweat off this training room. "That's just idiotic," I said as I hit the bag.
"Yeah well that's the straights for you," Alec rolled his eyes, "Crush aside, friend don't ditch friends,"
"Tell me about it," I muttered as my punches sped up.
Alec sighed "Isabelle?"
"Isabelle," I confirmed, putting my back into the punches, "Her and Clary are always together. Doing girly things. It's bad enough but I don't want to talk boys with them. It was fine before," with every word the punches got faster.
"Slow down," Alec said, and I did. He held the bag still, the metal chains finally quieting, "You're gonna put a hole in it."
"I know," I sighed, taking the gloves off and throwing them down. "But I'm getting sick of this.
Everyone keeps asking if I'm seeing a guy or when will Mr right come along. My parents are actually concerned,"
"Ditto," Alec groaned, "It's so annoying. Its always brought up as if I'm just a piece of meat!" he said.
My eyebrow quirked up as I saw the irony "Alec, welcome to being a female." Alec rolled his eyes and I punched his shoulder "I am not kidding. Whenever we go out guys are leering at me and Izzy on missions. We are used as bait Alec. Bait" it was true. Apparently dressing nice, as they called it, attracted demons but they forgot about all the sleazes.
"Sorry," Alec said, dropping down onto a bench. I copied and took the water he handed me.
"I've got an idea..."
"So...you two are dating now?" Isabelle asked arms crossed staring at us with the look of 'don't you lie to me'.
Jace by Isabelle's side seemed doubtful too, "Like dating dating?"
Alec and I looked at each other. "Yup," Alec said before quickly wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling me into his side. "Right babe?"
The words felt like spitting glass, "Of course...babe," okay I officially wanted to die.
Isabelle and Jace shared a look but Jace shrugged, "Well at least you finally took my advice. Sorry (Y/N) but I need to steal Alec, we've got a mission,"
Alec almost jumped at the chance to go on a mission with him. Then it was just me and Izzy. "You've never mentioned liking him before," Isabelle said, clearly not buying it.
I scoff, trying not to stutter, "He's your brother. That's just weird Izzy,"
"In fact," she continued "You've never talked about guys. Ever. Whenever Clary brings it up-"
"Clary's a brat, Izzy," I cut her off. Isabelle's mouth gaped for a moment before closing.
"Seriously she shows up and thinks she knows everything. She gets everything on a silver plate, and everyone babies her,"
"She's new!" Isabelle has an incredulous look on her face "She's trying to navigate a new world. Give her a break!" I couldn't hold back an eye roll. "What has she actually done to you?"
"What has she done to you?" I snap. "Before we'd talk about normal things but knows it's all boy this and boy that. And she's far to comfortable around here. You don't ask people to check you out before you go out. It's weird," I cross my arms. "Plus, she always brings that Simon kid around.
Isabelle's face is distorted into one I've never seen aimed at me; anger. "Really? Maybe I like talking about boys and I like knowing I look alright before I go out. Oh, and I'll have you know I like Simon. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever spoken to,"
"I'm nice!" I almost yell, "You don't talk to me anymore and I'm just as nice as Simon is. Oh, and I'm your best friend not that you seem to care,"
"Well you don't seem so nice right now," Isabelle says, crossing her arms, "In fact, you just seem jealous. I'm allowed to have other friends. If it bothered you that much you should've talked to me,"
"You're always with Clary," Mumbled, feeling defeated already.
"Woah you really are jealous. Is that why you're with Alec now?" she asked. "You and I both know he's gay. If I'm honest I was starting to think so were you,"
There was no good way this conversation could go. The floor seemed to sway from under my feet and the lights seemed brighter than before. My heartbeat was loud like the chains from the punching bag. Clang clang clang.
If it wasn't for the air whipping my face I wouldn't have realised I was running, and it wasn't till I stopped I felt the wetness on my cheeks. I opened the door to my room and quickly slammed it, ruining it to be locked.
All I could do was pace till my feet were sore and I feared holes would burn in the carpet. I sank onto the floor, leaning against my bed. normally when I ran away from my feelings it wasn't physically,
When Isabelle knocked I didn't get up. Her angelic voice couldn't move me this time and was drowned out by fear. My parents, Isabelle, my higher-ups, they could all find out. Shadowhunters were still very backwards.
We'd had the pleasure of meeting a warlock when Clary first came called Magnus who was obviously gay or bi or something and openly proud. With no shadowhunters to teach me, it had been him I'd gone to about it. he was surprised, to say the least, that I'd gone to him though apparently, his gaydar had been right.
Id texts him in a panic for his advice. Isabelle's pounding on my door had stopped when I got the text back; tell her, the closet isn't comfortable forever.
I read the text over and over again. I didn't have to tell Isabelle I liked her, though she'd
probably guessed that. She must know now. she had to know, and I should be telling her.
My bones felt stiff as I stood but I persevered. I sighed, running my hands over my face. I looked up from my hands and my eyes fell on a photo frame on my bedside; Isabelle and I on my last birthday. She insisted on making my cake though even I couldn't fake eat it. this could make or break that.
I opened the door without hesitation, figuring I'd at least have a breather before I saw her. But there she was, sat on the floor across from my door. When my door opens she sprang up, "(Y/N)," I couldn't hold it back. I looked down and couldn't help a couple tears, "Talk to me," Isabelle put her hands on my shoulders and shivers went down my spine.
For once I didn't want to see Isabelle's face, but I looked up, "I-I." I had to take a deep breath "I love you,"
Isabelle smiled a little "I love you too. You know I do," without giving me a chance she hugged me.
"Not in the same way," I mumbled but I knew she heard.
She pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "What do you mean?"
"I don't love you. I'm in love with you," it was out there. There were no take backs.
Isabelle glanced down and I just felt my heart clench, "I-I-I know I'm not gay," she started off, stuttering slightly, "but I have been with girls," for this first time Isabelle blushed, "I just never really clicked with any but then again I never clicked with a guy either. But if I'd ever clicked with anyone, it'd be you,"
"You like me?" my words were slow and unsure.
"I think so?" hers were more like a question. "I've never really understood the romance part but when I'm with you, I feel safe. And I'd be lying if I said you weren't hot,"
Okay, this time I blushed. A lot, "So...do you wanna try?"
She nodded "I do. Guess your switching lightwoods," Isabelle joked, laughing at her own joke like usual.
I grinned a little, "Well you are much prettier than Alec."
Isabelle grinned, "So maybe we should try well," she motioned to my lips.
I nodded and we moved closer, bumping noses and tilting the wrong way. We laughed awkwardly but soon our lips met. it was slow, hesitant, and we were barely touching. Years of pent up feelings led me to stepping closer, making it harder, passionate. Soon it was fast and hard, and her hands were in my hair.
Somehow I forgot to breathe, so we pulled apart as breathless as I get when Isabelle walks in the room. "So," I said.
"So," Isabelle copied. She looked up and down the corridor before saying, "Maybe we should try you know that again but," she pointed past me, into my room, "in there?"
A grin overtook my face which soon etched onto Isabelle as well. My arms wrapped around her, leading her back into my room. The door shut tightly behind us and everything felt right.