~*E l l e r y*~
I was eating a tranquil lunch of soggy green beans, mac n cheese, and a churro when my phone buzzed to life in my pocket causing me to flinch. I dug it out of the pocket of my dark denim jeans and saw the notification bell for an incoming text message pop into view.
Jenna. B
Hi...I was just wondering how you were doing these days...I know we haven't talked in years since the accident but I felt a need to check in. I heard you moved to Hipridge. How is everything? How's your brother?
My fingers froze on the keys. A strange need to panic flourished over me. I hadn't talked to Jenna in five years...since the car crash that killed her only sibling. My best friend Allie. Last I was in contact with her, she was irritated with me for surviving. She had said it was unfair that I was alive and her baby sister was dead. I had felt the same way. I still did at times. I hadn't even known she'd kept my number.
You
Hey, Jenna. I'm at school right now. Ryan and I are fine, we just moved here a few months ago and we're settling in. I was wondering what you were up to these days...since our last conversation.
Jenna. B
I haven't been up to much. Look. I'm so sorry for what I texted you five years ago. What I said was wrong because Allie would've wanted you to live and I realize now that you didn't come out of the crash without your own problems. I felt it heavy on conscious lately and I needed to apologize. Allie would not want me to resent you. You were her best friend and I'm glad you made it out. Can we maybe meet up and talk? I'm passing through soon.
Tears welled up in my eyes and prickled my lashes. I tried to fight them back, telling myself it had been five years already and I shouldn't be so sensitive to the topic still. I popped open my brother's open conversation and sent him something short telling him she'd texted me. I shut off my phone, neglecting to reply, and slipped it into the pocket of my black hoodie.
I tipped my head back and dug my nails into my palm out of instinct. Whenever I was nervous I did one or two of four things. I curled up, I bit and twirled my hair, I avoided eye contact or I dug my nails into my palm. Things my brother had taken note of over the years and recognized.
I didn't know how to reply honestly. I know I said I felt the same way she did back then but it did hurt. The text she sent stung me like nothing else, being accused of killing my best friend by her sister, who I'd looked up to. It had hurt more than my broken arm or cracked ribs.
I pushed my tray away softly and pressed my back against the wall, bringing my knees onto the bench. Rumbling thoughts staggered through my head. One of the bad things about being deaf was that no matter who was in the room, you're always alone and vulnerable to your own thoughts. No one was there to break you away from your own mind or shatter your ridiculous thoughts for you.
Rhonda eventually showed up and signed me a quick 'come on, baby'. She always called everyone baby...I only had three more periods before I could get home and talk with Ryan. Only three more, I told myself.
I entered History class hastily with my head dropped. James attempted to sign me a greeting but his hands dropped when I slumped into my seat and gazed ahead. My mind wondered the whole class, to Jenna and Allie.
To my mom and the man who'd hit us that day. A man who I knew nothing about to this day, only that he went to jail and he wasn't getting back out. A man who'd ruined my life in a single night. Ryan was adamant about keeping me as far away as possible from the crash. He isolated from everything and kept me as far as possible.
Ellery, Ellery did you hear?
My head popped up in time to catch Rhonda's signing. What? I missed it. Will you repeat it?
Mrs. Tannon is assigning audio tapes to everyone to listen to for a History test later on that she constructed. I pressed my lips together and gazed at Mrs. Tannon. She spoke something to Rhonda. Mrs. Tannon said she wasn't aware she was getting a deaf student until it was too late, she said you'll have to find a way to do something because it's vital to the test and she doesn't have time to re-do. Of course, this would happen.
Great, I sign. Everyone stared at me blankly and tried to comprehend what we were saying. I got it...kids are more inclined to listen to things than read them. Mrs. Tannon looked guilty and was nibbling on her bottom lip. It's okay, really I can have my brother translate when he's done with work. Rhonda passed it on to Mrs. Tannon.
I'll translate for her...we can study and I'll sign the audio to her. Plus, we'd both do better with a study buddy since I need some catching up after a year, James signed. I observed that he both signed and said the words/motions. Mrs. Tannon calculated and nodded at us both happily. I didn't need to gaze at Rhonda by the way her lips moved she had said something like 'if it's okay with Ellery. That's perfect.'
Fine with me, I fingerspelled. James smirked at me and chewed on the end of his pencil. Perfect. A teasing glint glimmered in his eyes. I drew my brows and scoffed at him. A few of the teens in the class directed to me. Confused that I could make sounds. I'm deaf, not mute. Don't translate that, I signed to Rhonda. She nodded and James rose a questioning brow.
~~**~~
The seat lurched as James plopped in beside me. Hi, I was wondering if I could get your number so we can talk about times to meet up? I was sitting with Brock at lunch today and I forgot to ask after History. I drew my phone out and we exchanged numbers deftly. Of course, Sarah decided to sit right across from us and judge our every move but we hid it well and she didn't seem to notice. Thanks for offering. My brother is busy and I don't want to stress him.
No problem, I could use a study buddy too.
What did you mean in class when you said you needed catching up after a year? He contemplated my question for a moment. Deciding if he wanted to answer, I understood well-enough that not everyone wanted to share everything. Not when he'd done most of the talking these past few days. Only if you answer a question I ask you.
Fine, but nothing about my family. He signed his agreement moments later and started to sign his answer to my previous question, I took a year off of school when I was eighteen to care for my grandpa. He was deaf and had a stroke, I cared for him. It's how I learned ASL and I just kept up with it after that, although it's only been a few months since he died. So he's nineteen...notable information.
I'm sorry, I know what it feels like to lose family and I'm glad you kept up with ASL. there's a shortage of hearing people who know it these days. He smiled and leaned in closer to study me. Okay, my turn to ask a question, Ellery. I thought that if I could hear him talk, he'd be purring in a silky tone.
Were you born deaf? Also, can you talk? I've heard you make sounds. I hugged my lips together. I assured myself that I hadn't a reason to not trust him. He'd been nothing but funny and kind the last few days and if I was honest, I needed friends. I forgot what it was like to actually have someone I could communicate with. The last friend I had was Olivia a year ago in our old town. She was hard of hearing. She ended up moving away and so did I, we haven't been in contact since.
I lost my hearing at thirteen from a brain injury. I can talk, I just won't and I haven't in five years. Not in front of anyone, anyways. I've only ever made sounds like groaning, sighing and whatever.
I understand...So you moved here with just your brother? Did you have any other friends in your old town?
Yeah...it's been just me and my brother for a while. I had a friend named Olivia but I'm not in contact with her anymore. I haven't had many friends over the years, I signed. I noticed we had pulled into my neighborhood so I started to gather my things. James did the same and gazed at me until I drew my eyes back over to him.
Do you consider me your friend? Because I think I made a pretty good first impression. I scrunched my eyes and swayed my head. He wobbled his lower lip and I shouldered him playfully. Yeah, yeah, you're my friend. Don't get full of yourself.
Me? Never. I'll see you later, Ellery. Just text me some time so we can meet up later okay?
~~**~~
I leaped onto the couch and curled up on my side. My fingers flipped through the channels rapidly as my tired eyes fluttered until I settled on Mr. & Mrs. Smith. A sneeze ripped through my throat as I draped the fury red blanket over my shivering body. I watched carefully as the subtitles rolled by.
Hey, so I got you something, my brother signed as he strolled in and popped off the TV with a flick of his finger. I scowled and sat up. A puppy? He laughed and I wished I could hear him. I couldn't even remember his laugh or his voice anymore. The only voice that echoed in my head was my mom's. No, something else. I scowled at him.
He set a shoebox in my lap and slumped beside me. Shoes? He nodded eagerly as confusion battered my head. The neighbors were selling them and I thought you'd like them. I gripped the sides and lifted the top off hastily.
A shriek tore through my throat as a little light brown-furred Chihuahua popped out and wagged its tail frantically. I wiped my eyes and discarded the shoebox. I held him in my lap and pet his silky fur. I saw his muzzle move in a barking motion. Tears welled up in my eyes. You butthead, it was a puppy!
Yeah, I was waiting for your reaction. I was doing some yard work when I got home and I met the neighbors. They offered me their last puppy for free because I said something about maybe taking you to get one later in the day. He's a Chihuahua almost two months old.
Thank you thank you thank you! Setting my little puppy aside softly, I threw my arms around Ryan and squeezed him gratefully. I then cradled my little pup against my chest and smiled at him. He nibbled on my finger and wiggled around crazily. I only have a small bag of puppy food though...we'll have to get some supplies later today.
I tottered him into my room and placed him on my bed, careful not to let him tumble off the bed. I kissed his little head and scrolled through my contacts. I was so giddy that I needed to tell someone so I sent James and Olivia a text and a picture of him rolling around. It would be a good conversation starter to talk with Olivia again.