Chapter 70
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Jessie
Okay
Jessie
So I don't want to be that person
Jessie
But I don't think I have another choice
Jessie
You and Yoongi are dating right?
Jimin
Yeah
Jimin
Why?
Jessie
I thought so
Jessie
So what was that thing when you hooked up with that girl?
Jessie
The asshole's girlfriend
Jimin
Revenge?
Jessie
Does Yoongi know?
Jimin
No
Jimin
Why?
Jessie
Wtf Jimin
Jessie
Even if it's just revenge
Jessie
That's cheating
Jessie
You are aware of that right?
Jimin
...
Jimin
Shit you're right
Jimin
I forgot
Jimin
I didn't think
Jessie
You never think
Jessie
Jiiiiiiiiiiimin
Jessie
You're in a relationship now
Jessie
You can't just do that
Jessie
God you're stupid
Jessie
Are you okay?
Jessie
Why aren't you answering?
Jimin
Because I'm having a meltdown
Jimin
I fucked up
Jimin
Really badly
Jimin
What if Yoongi wants to break up now?
Jimin
Should I even tell him?
Jimin
I didn't mean to cheat
Jimin
You know how much I care about him
Jimin
I'd never cheat
Jimin
Not on him
Jimin
I'm such an asshole
Jessie
Relax
Jessie
And of course you'll tell him
Jessie
If you don't I will
Jessie
Yoongi's good for you
Jessie
Don't destroy it with bullshit like this
Jimin
I really try not to
Jimin
How fucking stupid am I?
Jessie
Really
Jimin
How did you even know?
Jessie
Girls talk a lot
Jessie
And I listen
Jimin
And as much as I kind of not wanted to hear this
Jimin
Thank you for telling me
Jimin
I swear I didn't even think about it
Jimin
I wanna hit myself
Jimin
I totally deserve it
Jessie
Tell Yoongi
Jessie
Let him hit you
Jessie
And apologize
Jessie
He really likes you
Jessie
I think he'll forgive you
Jessie
And if he doesn't you deserve it, kind of
Jessie
So don't you dare get angry because of it
Jessie
Yoongi's officially under my protection
Jimin
As if I'd lash out on Yoongi
Jimin
I care too much about him
Jimin
And if he decides that he wants to end this that's his decision
Jimin
I wanna cry
Jimin
How could I fuck up this badly and not even realize?
Jimin
I feel like shit
Jimin
I'll call Yoongi later
Jimin
Buy ice cream in case he decides he doesn't want me anymore
Jessie
Wow you're so gay at this point
Jessie
Yoongi's is rubbing off on you
Jessie
I like it
Jimin
Shut up
Yoongi was just writing on a paper that was due in a couple of days when there was a knock on the door. With the hint of an idea of who would show up unannounced he got up and made his way towards the entryway.
He opened the door glancing out. "Aaaand it's you. Why am I not surprised? Didn't I tell you to stop showing up without a warning?" Yoongi chuckled, opening the door for a slightly anxious looking Jimin.
The boy smiled awkwardly, slipping past Yoongi and mumbling a short 'sorry'. Yoongi caught on right away.
"What's wrong? You look... tense?" He patted Jimin's shoulder.
Jimin sighed. "I kind of fucked up pretty badly and you'll probably be angry."
Raising an eyebrow Yoongi leant against the wall. There were a bunch of things that could have happened. Ranking from Jimin being an asshole towards someone who didn't deserve it to something Yoongi might actually get angry over.
"What did you do?" He realized that the hallway wasn't a good location for some talk about whatever Jimin had done wrong, so he pulled him into his room, where he let Jimin sit on the edge of his bed while he himself sat down on the working desk.
"First off... I want to say that I'm dumb and don't think most of the time and that I really did not mean to do it... I just forgot because I'm stupid." Jimin began, kneading his hands.
"Jimin, just talk." Yoongi warned, supporting himself on his hands while leaning back on the bed.
"I cheated on you. Right after we decided to date." Jimin stated. "It's not really all that happened but that's what it comes down to."
He could watch Yoongi press his lips into a thin line. "Explain."
Swallowing thickly Jimin grabbed the edges of the chair he was sitting on. "I fucked the girlfriend of that guy who beat you up. Out of petty revenge. And I know it sounds like an excuse when I say this but I pretty much forgot that that is cheating. Because in my head it was out of revenge and I didn't really view it like that... I'm not used to being in a relationship. For some reason my head just didn't register it as sex with someone but you. To me it was just one way to hurt that guy." Jimin explained looking down at the floor. He couldn't endure Yoongi's gaze on him.
"Then how come you're coming to me now, telling me about it, if you didn't think of it as cheating?" Yoongi's voice was distant. A certain coldness to it that Jimin hadn't heard before.
"Jessie heard about it and talked to me... she pretty much reminded me of it being cheating... and I came here because I don't want to lie to you about shit like that. Even if it means that you might want to end this thing now. It's reasonable if you do." Jimin said, his heart stinging. As reasonable as it might have been.
There was nothing he wanted to do more than cling to Yoongi and beg him not to.
A soft sigh left Yoongi's lips as he got up from his seat and walked over to Jimin, who simply stared at Yoongi's feet, not ready to look the boy in the eyes. He felt ashamed.
"Listen, Jimin." Yoongi's voice had changed tone again. It was warmer than before, but he could tell that there still was a bit of anger lying underneath it.
Finally, Jimin managed to gather the courage to look up. Yoongi was staring down at him with disappointment. Jimin bit his lip. That hurt. Quite a bit actually.
"If you really want to try this and you were the one to suggest it you really have to be serious about it. Shit like this can't just happen on accident." Yoongi stated. "I mean, come on, Jimin. You forget sleeping with someone is cheating? That's kind of weak, isn't it?"
Jimin nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line. "I know." He sighed. "And I'm really sorry. I'm really serious about this... I guess I'm just a bad person." He smiled a bit pained.
Yoongi sighed, running his hand through Jimin's hair, still standing above him. "You're not a bad person. Just really impulsive." Yoongi stated, before closing his eyes massaging his temples. "You know what position you put me in? At one hand I really like you but cheating is something serious. I know it wasn't your intention to cheat this time... but if I let you off easy right now it might happen again because what consequences are there? Who knows maybe next time it might be because you're sexually frustrated and we can't do anything."
Jimin was quick to answer. "No way. That won't happen. I really like you... I wouldn't do that, I swear." He bit his lip looking to the side. Things didn't look good. He felt so scared. Scared that Yoongi wouldn't let this pass. That they'd go back to being nothing more than friends again... or worst case scenario, Yoongi wouldn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. "Please... give me another chance. If something like this happens again you can break up with me right away."
Yoongi raised his eyebrows looking skeptical. "How can you say that that easily? What if it happens? Not scared that I might take you up on your offer then?"
"I have nothing to worry about. It won't happen again." Jimin stated, sure of himself. This wasn't something he would have done to Yoongi on purpose. He really cared about him. To the point where he would put Yoongi's wellbeing above his own.
Yoongi let out a sigh, rubbing his eyes before giving Jimin a weak smile. "I guess that's something I can work with." He squatted down a bit to the point where he was on eyelevel with Jimin. "Don't do stupid shit like that, okay? Don't put me in the position where I have to rethink this whole thing." His hand caressed Jimin's cheek, who leaned into the touch.
"I won't, I swear. I care too much about you." Jimin stated, looking at Yoongi. He felt relieve washing over him. Yoongi wasn't angry. He wasn't planning to break up with Jimin. Whatever they had wasn't lost. He felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.
"Good. Now tell me about that petty revenge plan of yours. Fucking his girlfriend, really?" Yoongi asked, raising a judgmental eyebrow.
"It's a direct strike to one's pride." Jimin explained.
"How did you even do it? I don't think his girlfriend is going to tell him about her one night stand with the sugar daddy from her school." Yoongi said and Jimin chuckled.
"I filmed her. And sent it to him. It's a douchebag move. I know."
"Nah, I support you. He deserves it." Yoongi got up from where he was squatting, pulling up Jimin as well. "So you cheated on me to avenge me? Is that really how it's supposed to work?"
"I probably did it more for myself than for you if I'm being honest. I didn't like the thought of that guy getting away unscarred." Jimin admitted, playing with Yoongi's fingers. They were standing opposite of each other.
"You petty piece of shit." Yoongi chuckled, softly hitting the back of Jimin's head. The boy smiled a bit bashful, glancing down. "Sorry."
"It's okay. I like that about you... as long as it doesn't affect me in a bad way." Yoongi stated, forcing Jimin to look up at him and connecting their lips in a warm kiss.
"Sorry." Jimin said a bit breathless when Yoongi moved back again.
"It's okay. I'm not really angry. Just don't do it again." He warned and Jimin nodded right away. "No way in hell I will."
They kissed once again, Jimin's hands running over Yoongi's jawline while Yoongi's found their place around Jimin's hips.
"I have something I want to talk about." Jimin started, lying on Yoongi's bed and staring at Yoongi, who was continuing to write his paper.
"What is it?" The older didn't even turn around. Jimin sighed, rolling onto his back and stretching his arms out.
"You never told me about your job. The porn one?" Although it was a statement it sounded more like a question.
"Yeah, I haven't."
"Why?"
Yoongi sighed. "I think I said it before. It's something that is in my past and I don't really feel the most comfortable telling people about it. I trust you and all, but it's just something that is not really worth talking about in my eyes. The past is the past."
"So you'd rather not talk about it?" Jimin asked, voice soft, trying not to pry.
"Now it doesn't make much of a difference to be honest. You already know the main part I don't want to talk about, the details are something I don't really have a problem with disclosing." Yoongi stated, turning his chair around to face Jimin. "You can ask."
"So you were scared that I might judge you and that's why you didn't tell me?" Jimin asked, before flipping over again so he was back on his stomach.
"Somewhat along those lines. It's not even that I was scared. It's just that it's pretty damn private information. People usually keep their sex lives to themselves. I probably would have told you at some point when we started dating though." Yoongi muttered, sounding unsure about that himself.
Jimin nodded in understanding. Everyone had things they didn't like talking about. Maybe he and Yoongi weren't all that different in that department. Both of them had private information they didn't really like enclosing that was completely public at the same time.
"Why did you do it?" Jimin asked, supporting himself on his elbows.
"Because we would have drowned in debts otherwise. I managed to pay all of it back somehow. I did a lot of shit from things that were pretty okay to stuff I'm not the proudest of back then but somehow I made it through." The older explained, getting up from his seat and moving over next to Jimin, who instantly used Yoongi as a pillow by lying on his side next to where the older was sitting.
"That sounds horrible."
"It wasn't that bad honestly. I got to know a bunch of people, learnt how to fake social skills and even had some fun if I'm being honest. There were some downsides to it, but overall it was an alright experience." Yoongi chuckled, running his hand through Jimin's hair, who would have purred if he could. "Such a good boy." The older teased when Jimin closed his eyes, smiling happily at the affection Yoongi was giving him.
"Fuck off. What else happened back then? Was that all or did you do more than that?" Jimin asked, but Yoongi shook his head. "Not much. I did fuck someone for money once or twice but it wasn't really the right thing for me. Porn was better. A lot of pressure, but attractive girls with humor, usually. They are entirely different on set and off set. I even chat with some I stayed in contact with every once in a while."
Jimin opened his mouth a couple of times. "You should have told me before we started dating. I could have hooked up with porn stars."
Yoongi looked pretty amused. "You still can, you know? Just one though."
Jimin looked at Yoongi for a couple of seconds before cracking up. "Fair enough." Jimin felt a bit giddy. Just hours ago he'd been worried about Yoongi breaking up with him and now here they were, Yoongi running his hand through Jimin's hair, joking again. It was nice.
"Did you only do straight porn or gay porn too?" Jimin asked and Yoongi seemed to think.
"I did straight porn a lot more, but I did do some gay stuff too. It just happened a lot more seldom." Yoongi explained.
There was a long drawn out silence of Yoongi watching Jimin, who looked like he really wanted to ask something but wasn't able to gather the courage.
"Jimin, just ask, before you burst." Yoongi laughed, the boy frowning.
"If I wanted to... would you be okay with me watching some of your stuff?" Jimin asked a bit hesitant.
"Ah... I've been wanting to talk about that with you anyways. Yeah, you can. It's a bit weird that you might see me naked on screen before you see me in person, but it might be more comfortable for you, since there is no pressure. I mean, there isn't really any in person either but you might feel like it." Yoongi explained, running his thumb over Jimin's cheek. "It might be good for you to get used to me having a male body."
Jimin bit his lip. "Are you sure? It's not weird?"
Warm laughter filled the room. "It is. It's utterly crazy but we're in a weird situation so we'll have to take weird measures."
"You're the best." Jimin chuckled closing his eyes. "How the hell do I deserve you?"
"Let's put it that way... you deserve me with all my shit moods every couple of days." Yoongi stated cheekily.
"No problem. I take you." Jimin shoot back almost instantly, a warm chuckle leaving his lips.
"You do? I wanna see you enduring me on daily basis for longer than a month."
"Challenge accepted."
Everything was good. They were okay. Jimin had another chance to show Yoongi how much he cared about him.
A/N
I hope ya'll can forgive Jimin too!
(I won't forgive wattpad for always deleting the author notes😖 all the comments are lost)