Shaking her head, Renae got up and King sat up. "Nae?" He called watching as she made her way towards the door.
Getting out of bed, King headed out of the room just as she closed the hall bathroom door.
"Shit." He cursed rushing towards the door, banging on it he called her name.
"Open da door Nae!" He yelled banging on the door.
"Nae... come on baybeh don't do this to me" he begged putting his ear to the door.
"I can't do this anymore." She spoke from the other side of the door.
"Yes you can... I'm right here Nae... I know it's hard but I'm here baybeh please open da door." He begged knocking on the door again.
"I can't... I never meant to disappoint you... I'm tired of fighting... I'm sooo tired."
"Renae, listen to me. You never disappointed me baybeh, I've been here fighting with you and for you every step of the way ma. Don't leave me like dis Nae... please," He pleaded on the verge of tears.
Wiping her face, Renae stared down at the pills.
"I just want you to touch me... not look at me like I'm dirty." She cried pouring the pills into the palm of her hand.
"Nae I never looked at you any kind of way ma."
"Yes you have!" She screamed kicking the trash bin over.
"I haven't baybeh... please open the door," King begged.
"I don't deserve you... they were right,"...
"They were right," Renae murmured in her sleep. She was having another one of her episodes. "I don't deserve you,"
Hearing her talking in her sleep, King rolled over and rubbed at his eyes. "Baybeh," He called still half sleep. "Stop! I said no!" Renae screamed kicking wildly.
"Renae!" King shouted trying to wake her up.
"Stop it," She cried trying to push King away until she realized she was home. "K.. King?"
"It's just us here baybeh," he assured her as he pulled her into a tight embrace allowing her to breakdown.
"I can't... I.. I can't take it," she cried clawing at his back trying to make the pain go away. "Nae," King hissed trying to stop her.
"Make it stop!" She cried hysterically.
"You're stronger than dis Nae, look at me baybeh," King said as he stopped her from clawing at his back.
"I can't do it anymore," she mumbled with tears falling down her face. "Yes you can. You gotta stay strong for me baybeh, for our girls ok?"
"I c—"
"Yes you can," King asserted cutting her off.
Dropping her head, Renae stared at her arms as the tears fell. "Stop," King gritted when she started scratching at her wrist.
"I have to go," She spoke as if she just heard something. "Go where? Nae, go back to bed," King sighed running his hand down his face exhaustedly.
Sleep was calling his name but he hadn't had any since her episodes came back and it's been almost 2 weeks.
Climbing out the bed, Renae picked up her sandals and tried to rush out the room but King stopped her and grabbed her face roughly.
"I have to go," She repeated over and over again as she stared out of it. It hurt King deeply to see her this way and he feared for their twins. Tish wrote her a prescription to start back taking her meds but Renae refused.
"It's me baybeh," King spoke softly as he rested his forehead against hers and grabbed her hands placing them on his face. His heart was aching and he was fighting back the tears.
"It's me," he mumbled closing his eyes.
"King?" Renae blinked repeatedly as she felt around his face then pressed her hand into his chest feeling his racing heartbeat.
"It's me baybeh," He said tilting her chin and Renae's eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry... I.. I—"
"I know," He replied hugging her protectively as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. "You gotta take your medicine for me baybeh,"
"I can't... I'm scared," she cried.
"You can do it and Tish said it's fine baybeh... I'm losing you Nae... I can't lose you, man," His hold on her tightened and Renae could feel his tears covering her neck.
It was breaking her heart and she hated herself for being so stubborn and afraid but that would change.
Before she could reply, King grabbed her face and kissed her deeply.
Lifting her up, King walked towards the bed and laid her back as he came out his sweats and pulled her panties off. Deepening the kiss, King pushed his dick into her tight fold and had to stop himself before he came.
Breaking the kiss, he stared deep into her eyes as his watered. "I need you," He spoke with each pump.
He wasn't making love to her but he wasn't just fucking her either, his emotions were all over the place and he needed her to understand just how much he needed her. She was literally his air to breathe and losing her to death or her illness wasn't anything he wanted, he wanted Renae, his sweet innocent Renae. His private dancer and trained shooter, he didn't want the unknown version of her the one who barely knew herself, he refused to lose her to some bullshit knowing he could help prevent it.
His heart was aching in ways he never imagined, he was literally begging her to let him save her and for her to save herself. He missed the Renae that made corny jokes but laughed as if they were actually funny, he missed their deep conversations and them just laying around talking about stupid shit that only made sense to them. He missed her and he needed his Renae back, not part of her, but all of her.
"I'm sorry King! I'm so sorry!" Renae cried digging her nails into his back as she came for the third time.
"I need you," King gritted quickening his pace as the tears continued to fall.
"I'm here baby... oh God I'm here," She moaned wrapping her legs around his waist as he went faster.
"I need you," He repeated over and over as his pumps became rougher. Renae was nearing her fourth orgasm and moaning uncontrollably as the tears rolled down the side of her face.
"I love you, King," she whimpered gripping his shoulders as her eyes rolled to the back of her head as the strong orgasmic wave shot through her body.
King had a death grip on her waist as he gave it to her like no other. Renae was trying to get him to look at her but King couldn't, he was seeing too much pain right now and needed it to go away.
"Fuck... FUCKKKK!" He shouted as his entire body shook as his warm fluids filled her up. Renae squeezed her pussy around him until his dick emptied every drop before he pulled out of her and fell on his back with the tears still falling.
"Stop," King mumbled pushing Renae's hand away when she touched his face. "Do you not understand how much I need you?"
"I do," She whispered sitting up and played with her hands nervously. "I can not live without Renae, dis shit hurts. I need you to work with me man, if not for me then do it for our girls. But I'm not losing you, if I lose you then I lose myself. I'm nothing without you if you leave, you minds well prepare my funeral because without you I'm dead... literally dead," he got up and walked into the bathroom.
Renae covered her face with her hands and cried.
Her life just seemed to go downhill once they came back and she only blamed herself for not being the strong person she knew she was. She hated herself for falling so deep into her emotions that she let herself go. She hated herself for putting King through this and she was mad at herself for putting their babies at risk. She knew she needed to get better and vowed to do it, she needed to do it.
***
"What are you doing lil nerd?" Dajon asked once he walked into Eve's dorm. They've been there for 3 and a half weeks and Eve has always found herself locked inside her room with her face in her books. Dajon tried to get her to have some sort of fun, but she was so used to doing work, she was afraid of a little excitement.
"Doing this practice test for our English Composition class, I'm so tired of these Independent and Dependent Clauses scenarios," she sighed.
Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun and she had on one of his T-shirts and always kept his chain around her neck.
"We don't have the test until next week though lil nerd relax for a moment aight?"
"I can't Dajon, I'm gonna forget things," she worried and Dajon sat on the bed next to her.
"We have study sessions at the library after every class Eve and on top of that you call me on FaceTime just so I can give you a pop quiz, put the book down and chill a bit,"
Eve stared at him for a moment then sighed deeply closing her book in the process. "Just got a little bit,"
"There's a party going on tonight, come with me?"
"Um... I don't know, I'm only seventeen and I'm sure everyone there will be eighteen and up," she worried.
"I'm not going if you don't go."
"There's gonna be drinking and smoking and I'm sure sex going on," She said and Dajon chuckled.
"No party aight, but we gotta do something," Dajon laid back and picked up the quilt her mom touched up for her. She added a photo of Dajon and Eve on there which had Eve jumping off the walls.
"What do you want to do?" She asked sitting Indian style.
"They got a movie theater up the block,"
"We saw everything that's come out so far," she reminded.
"So what do you want to do then?" He asked and she shrugged. "I guess the party could be fun,"
"Nah, it's not your thing, we don't gotta do it," He told her as he got up and opened her mini-fridge looking for something to snack on.
"We're gonna be here for four years correct?"
"Yeah," Dajon shrugged grabbing her tuna salad and a bottled water. "So let's go," She replied.
Dajon studied her for a moment then shook his head, he was starting to realize she did a lot of things to keep him happy instead of herself and that's not what he wanted.
"Why not? You just came in here and asked," she frowned.
"It's not you lil nerd, I've been having you do things I shouldn't have, that's not a relationship."
"Oh my goodness Dajon, I haven't done anything I haven't wanted to. It's not like you held a gun up to my head, anything I've ever done has been by choice not force," She argued.
"Let me think about it," Dajon replied before going to town on her salad. Eve pursed her lips then got up to shower.
They were going to the party one way or the other, she did need a little excitement outside of studying all of the time, she was starting to see herself as boring...
I know you caught me cheatin and you tired me lyin
I'ma be honest witcha baby I know I crossed the line
You don't wanna fuck with me no mo' then cool, it's fine
Before you go, baby, can we fuck one mo' time?
I know I fucked up and sorry ain't what you wanna hear
But I can't change that shit dawg, it is what it is
And you can go fuck another nigga if that's how you feel
If that's gone make you feel better then gone and do it hell
You asked me bout the lil panties shit and I kept it real
Know that shit probably hard for you to swallow still
And I ain't know how bad I hurt you til I seen yo tears
And I ain't askin you to accept how a nigga live
You feel another nigga could treat better then that's what it is
Plies, 1 Mo Time played loudly throughout the building as the college students walked around with red cups, double red cups, styrofoam cups, weed, blacks, and bottles. Some girls were dressed casually, others were dressed with little to nothing and the other half were dressed decent with a little skin showing. The guys were either walking around without a shirt on or in the corner tonguing a girl or two down.
Eve was standing by the stairs dressed in a blue and white basketball jersey that had Los Angelos across her breasts. Her hair was parted down the middle with a bandanna wrapped around her head and she had on black leggings and a pair of all white Jordan's on her small feet. Dajon got pulled away by one of his classmates so Eve was standing around like a lost puppy.
"Eve right?" A pretty brown skin asked standing next to Eve's short frame. "Yeah," Eve answered giving her a questionable look.
"I'm Alice, we take Chemistry together,"
"Oh..." Eve mumbled. "Hi," She giggled shaking her hand then looked towards the open door.
"You don't seem like parties are your thing,"
"That obvious?" Eve laughed pushing her hair behind her ear. "Just a little bit, nice chain," Alice smiled and Eve smiled as well.
"Thanks, my boyfriend gave it to me,"
"The one you walk around campus with right?"
"Yup," Eve grinned. "Good look, he's a looker," Alice giggled and Eve rose a brow. "A what?"
"Easy on the eyes boo, he's fine," Alice clarified and Eve just nodded. "Where did you graduate from?" She asked before sipping on her drink.
Eve went to answer until Dajon came around the corner. "I've been looking for you for the past twenty minutes,"
"I've been right here," Eve laughed placing her hand into his then turned to Alice. "See you around?"
"Of course, have fun, lil mama,"
"Who was that?" Dajon asked pulling Eve in front of him and draped his arms around her neck. "Alice, she's in my Chem class,"
"She seem sneaky?" He quizzed and she laughed. "No, but I am thirsty, all they have is alcohol here," she pouted.
"They have punch and orange juice," he informed as they entered the kitchen. "Dajon! My man!" A few guys yelled and Dajon chuckled giving a simple nod as he pulled Eve closer into him.
"What you want?"
"Punch," she answered avoiding the gaze of a dark skin guy standing in the corner with locs in his head. "Can't no nigga touch you, you hear me?"
Eve was surprised that he caught her but she nodded. "I hear you," She replied softly as they approached the table.
Once Dajon fixed her drink then his, they left out and headed towards the living room just as Jim Jones We Fly High started playing and everyone in the house started going wild.
We fly high, no lie, you know this ..
"Ballin'!" Everyone yelled.
Foreign rides, outside, its like showbiz (We in the building)
We stay fly, No Lie, you know this
"Ballin'!"
Hips and thighs, oh my, stay focused
Ya boy gettin' paper (Money), I buy big cars (Foreign)
I need fly rides to drive in my garage (Choose one)
Stay sky high (Twisted), Fly wit the stars (Twinkle, Twinkle)
G4 Flights, 80 grand large (Ballin'!)
"So we lean with it, pop with it.. Bankhead," Dajon rapped into Eve's ear and she giggled softly. "Your breath smells like mint,"
"It's supposed to stink or some'n?" He chuckled and she laughed. "No, just letting you know," she replied before sipping on her juice.
"You love me?"
"Of course I do," she smiled looking up at him. "How could I not?"
"Just don't want you getting bored with a nigga, that's all," he shrugged then rubbed his nose against hers.
The music switched to Tyrese's How You Gonna Act Like That and the girls grabbed any guy in sight just as the lights went dim.
Dajon sat his cup down and did the same to Eve's then turned her around and wrapped his arms around her body.
"Move with the music," He whispered into her ear. "I can't dance though," she laughed nervously.
"Can't nobody see us all the way back here, just rotate your ass slowly,"
Eve took a moment to let the music lead the way.
How you gonna act like we don't be makin' love? You know we be tearin' it up, breakin' stuff, that ghetto love..
How you gonna trip, how could you forget?
How you gonna act like that..
Rotating her ass on him slowly, Eve bit down on her lip feeling his erection right on her ass. "You got it," Dajon assured her as he held her waist and grinded into her.
There wasn't a lonely person in the dim lit house, everyone had someone to dance with and the person in charge of the music was sure to have slow song after slow song play.
From Tyrese to Boyz 2 Men, to Joe, the girls and guys were getting even freakier when Maxwell This Woman's Work came on.
"Do you want me to stop?" Eve asked hesitantly when Dajon groaned. "Nah," he mumbled pulling him closer into him and guided her hips slower.
"I think... I think we should leave," she whispered when he kissed on her neck. "Do you want to?"
"Yeah," she cleared her throat and stopped herself. "Come on," she laughs softly as she tried to move but he held her in place. "If you move and these lights cut on you gon have to fight a lot of these bitches in here," he chuckled.
"Right," she giggled keeping close into him as they walked through the crowded living room that was starting to smell musty.
"Your dorm or mine?" She asked once they got outside. "Mine,"
***
It was a hot summer day, one of the hottest thus far. Mid-June of 1997 and Egypt was in the house trying to get the ac to work and deal with Renae's crying.
"Girl if you don't shut the hell up!" Egypt screamed snatching Renae's bottle from her.
"All you do is cry, cry, cry, like damn what the hell you want from me?" She complained getting up and Ahmed laughed walking out the bedroom.
"You really think yelling at her is gonna help?" He asked picking Renae up and she instantly stopped crying.
"The little brat cries over everything, I'm sick of it."
"She's a year and three quarters, what the fuck else is she supposed to do?" He frowned his face walking into the kitchen while she heated the bottle up.
"Her ass shouldn't be crying the way she is... stressing me the fuck out." Egypt huffed shaking her head and Ahmed shook his head.
"Well yo ass just keep up the end of the deal or shit gonna get hectic." He reminded.
Rolling her eyes, she screwed the top back on the bottle and handed it to him.
As he went to feed Renae she pushed the bottle away and screamed Bloody Mary.
"What the fuck?! You tryna burn her tongue off!" He yelled picking up his frozen bottle of water and held it on Renae's lip.
"It was not hot." Egypt spat walking out the kitchen and he grabbed her by the back of her neck.
"Just because she isn't mine don't mean yo ass got an easy pass for abusing her. What the hell she did to you? She's a fucking baby for crying out loud." He gritted shoving her forward and she tripped over her feet.
"Why the hell you care? She ain't yours no way." She spat fixing her shirt.
Picking up the bottle, he checked it before he fed Renae and glared at Egypt.
"Until my ass leaves, she gon be what the fuck I want her to be and the next time I hear you yelling at her like you lost yo rabbit ass mind I'ma knock yo teeth down your throat." He warned.
Rolling her eyes, she stormed towards the back and he shook his head sitting at the table with Renae.
She stared at him with those bright eyes of hers and for once he actually smiled.
He never wanted kids especially not with Egypt but when he found out about her being pregnant he got a little excited.
That was until he found out Bryson was the actual father. To avoid himself from getting so attached to a child that he knew wasn't his, he'd rather leave.
Egypt made her bed so she had to lay in it but not without paying the consequences.
"I have a feeling I'm gonna be your biggest disappointment." Ahmed sighed staring at Renae and she only blinked those innocent eyes of hers.
"I gotta leave soon... but you'll see me every once in a blue moon... maybe when you're older I'll tell you the truth."
He was sure she didn't understand a word he was saying but she was listening.
"Tamia's coming over," Egypt announced and he just ignored her and continued talking with Renae.
She stood in the back watching, he never smiled around her or held simple conversations.
Everything she wanted from him he sat giving to a child that wasn't his.
Shaking her head, Egypt headed inside the living room as the hate for her own child began to form...
"Da da," 2-year-old Renae said as she reached for Ahmed as she walked his way slowly.
"Always remember that," Ahmed smiled picking her up and smothered her with kisses. Renae giggled and drooled as she tried to push his face away.
"Daddy!" She beamed clapping her hands and Ahmed laughed softly as he sat down and placed her on his knee and just stared at her.
"Damn man," He sighed picking up her sippy cup. "I don't think I'm ready for you to hate me yet," He shook his head and Renae furrowed her brows.
"Hate?"
Ahmed laughed at her expression. "No, that's a bad word. Daddy, say, Daddy," he told her and she smiled big.
"Daddy!"
"That's me..." He mumbled laying back on the couch and laid Renae down on top of him. Rubbing her back, Ahmed stared up at the dingy ceiling trying his hardest to turn his feelings off. He was leaving soon and needed as little guilt as possible weighing on his mind and heart.
Hearing the front door open, Ahmed opened his eyes and met eyes with Tamia and inwardly groaned.
He hated the very sight of her but often wondered why Egypt didn't turn out like her. Egypt was... gullible and a little... off whereas Tamia was well he couldn't lie, she was gorgeous as hell, street smart and book smart and had a lot going for herself but she was busy babysitting Egypt, a grown ass woman who refused to accept responsibility and refused to grow up. If Ahmed had his way, he would rewind time and spit game to Tamia and ignore Egypt, if he knew then what he knew now, Tamia would've been his main thing, not Egypt.
"I came to take her to the zoo with Keenan and me, but I can come back later," Tamia said about to walk out but Ahmed stopped her.
"Actually I got some stuff to handle, can you watch her?"
"Uh.. yeah," she replied picking up a sleeping Renae allowing Ahmed to get up. "I know you can't stand me, but you do a damn good job at taking care of her,"
"She's my niece whose mother is... well, just not equipped for this, neither are you though but I guess you can get a little pat on the back," she looked him up and down before heading towards the back.
Ahmed chuckled to himself before he picked up how keys and left out. He had a few more months before he disappeared and he was starting to dread the day...
***
"What do we want to eat today huh?" Renae touched her growing belly as she looked at the freezer filled food inside the local Kroger. King was somewhere around the seafood area trying to check out the shrimps and lobster and Renae made her way towards the freezer meals trying to see what her two little princesses wanted to eat. They've been in control of all of her meals lately which had been a plus and a downfall for Renae. Most of the stuff the twins craved, Renae wouldn't be caught eating if she wasn't pregnant but it's what they wanted and if she tried to eat things other than they wanted she'd end up throwing up.
"Peas? Oh no, I let everything else slide but not those nasty shits," Renae shook her head then gasped when one of the twins kicked her.
"Do it again so I can get your daddy,"
When they kicked again, Renae couldn't do anything but laugh. They lived for King's voice and did anything just to hear it, they could always sense when King wasn't around and whenever he was, he spent most of his time talking with them.
"Pregnant? Damn how time flies," The familiar voice spoke. Renae closed the freezer door and turned around slowly locking eyes with no other than Ahmed.
"I've been looking all over for you Nae... how are you?" He smiled taking a step forward and Renae stepped back. "Don... don't come near me,"
"If this is because of Dajon, I'm sorry. I thought Kingston told you I apologized, I really need to talk to you though," He said and Renae stared at him crazily as she realized the look in his eyes.
"Are you high? Seriously? You can't stay sober for a day?"
"Look," Ahmed sighed wiping his nose then shook his head. "I need to talk to you,"
"I don't want to talk to you, goodbye," she spat grabbing the cart and tried to walk away but Ahmed grabbed her from the back and pressed the barrel of his gun into her temple.
"I liked you better as a kid, you weren't so fucking disrespectful," He gritted tightening his hold on her when she tried to hit him.
Renae was kicking the freezers and the things off the shelf trying to create as much noise as possible to get anybody's attention. She forgot crackheads had super strength and her little hits and kicks weren't doing anything to phase him.
King was walking around the corner laughing about the interaction he just got into with the seafood guy until he saw Renae struggling with an obviously high Ahmed.
When Renae saw him, she bit Ahmed's hand causing him to holler and let her go as he cursed her out.
As she made a run for it, the impact from the gun going off by her head caused her to drop to her knees. She wasn't sure if she had got shot, but when she looked up and saw King fall into the shelves she felt as if the air had been snatched from her body.
She tried to scream but no sound came out and she tried to move but couldn't feel her limbs, Ahmed pulled her up by her hair then lifted her up just as King sat up slowly and removed his gun from his waistband but Ahmed was walking backward holding Renae right in front of him with a smirk on his face.
"You fucked up big time lil nigga," Ahmed laughed hysterically before he rushed out the store pushing anyone that came into contact with him out the way.
King looked down at the blood spilling from his right side and kicked a few boxes over as he stumbled to his feet just as a few shoppers rushed to his side.
He wasn't worried about his wound, that shit would heal, his focus was on Renae and their kids and the more he tried to get away from the people the weaker he became.
Renae's nightmares started to replay in his head and it only angered her more. He promised to keep her safe and he just had to go off to check out the seafood.
There was gonna be hell to pay.
******
Oh shit.... I think it's about that time🤭