My name is Clarissa McLagan and today is my last day on this earth. I'm glad. I shall finally have peace and quiet, no longer will I endure this constant suffering.
I wrote a note, to my parents telling them that I am leaving. I could not bare to tell them in person.
I have always liked fire.
As I walk away from the gas station, gasoline and lighter in hand, I know where I'm going.
I hope theres an afterlife
Maybe all my suffering will be worth while, maybe I'll be happy, at long last.
I entered the motel. I spread the gasoline everywhere at last I should be free.
And as I doused myself in the flammable substance I recounted the letter that I had left behind
Mum, Dad
It's not your fault. I can promise you that. You did the best you could for me and for that I thank you. Sorry it was a waste of time though. I wish I could have spent more time with you.
Things got rough at school. I am taken into the school yard daily to be picked on and broken by these boys. I am not scared of them, you taught me that. I fight back and show no fear. I was terrified. Everytime I fought back they just came back for more. Y'know one time they told me "there's only one way to teach you your place." They branded me. They got a knife and scrawled their initials onto my flesh. It was so painful. It was beside the tattoo that I got to remind me of Logan.
Logan wasnt a good boyfriend, I should have been sad, sore, grieving for him but I couldn't find the will to do that, does it make me a bad person? I know you thought he was an angel and I was just clumsy, but he hurt me.
I wish I could have told you this but I couldn't find the words nor the time. Silly excuses, I know. I'm sorry I'm leaving so soon. I wish what they did, what Logan did never bothered me. It did.
I always liked fire.
Your daughter,
Clary
The lighter came alive in my hands, the red and orange danced around the tip of the lighter.
Here goes nothing
I dropped the lighter.
When I awoke there was a blinding, white light.