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Brave love,
come, lean to my wound;
burn on, burn on.
—Sylvia Plath, "Firesong"
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The first thing Louis noticed upon entering their apartment was that it was pinker than usual.
He stared at a chain of paper hearts lining the wall as he kicked off his shoes and tossed his jacket in the general direction of the closet. The hearts looked handmade, because of course, what else would he expect when his roommate was Harry Styles?
Walking in further was like diving into an explosion of cheesy, romantic decorations colored in varying shades of pink and red. There was a lot of glitter. It wasn't exactly Louis' style but he could still admit it looked pretty.
"Harry," Louis called out, because he knew he was home by the keys in the little ceramic dish by the door. It was the one Harry made in a poetry class for the specific purpose of decreasing the amount of times Louis lost his keys to the apartment and had to call him to let him in. He was a little disorganized which meant Harry was his better half in the way that he kept everything tidy and orderly. "Did you... decorate for Valentine's Day?"
Louis didn't see him in the living room or the kitchen, but the place was small enough that he knew Harry heard him, wherever he was.
"I mean, it's pretty and everything, but, like... why."
There was a huff of indignance behind him. Louis turned around to see him standing in the dark hallway that led to their bedrooms.
"Why not?" he countered, crossing his arms over his torso. "I like it."
Louis squinted at him, unsure. It was typical teasing but his voice sounded off.
"Is everything okay?"
Harry shrugged, tucking his chin to his chest and brushing past Louis to head into the living room. Louis watched him sit down on the couch and turn the TV on, flipping through channels without any change in affect. His arms were still wrapped around his stomach, bare feet on the coffee table.
"Do you have a cold?" Louis wondered, taking in the paleness of his face and the splotchy red that discolored it. The puffiness around his eyes, too. And- oh. Louis was over by his side before he could think about it. After years of experience, he knew what his best friend looked like after crying. They had been through it all before: sappy movies, stressful workdays, family emergencies, and even just feeling like shit for no reason at all. "Harry, what happened?"
"Nothing," he muttered, sounding vaguely bitter. He dragged his palms down his face and rubbed at his red-rimmed eyes. When he pulled his hands away, uncovering his face, his gaze shifted to a spot on the floor. "I broke up with David."
"Oh." That made much more sense than whatever bad thing Louis was thinking happened to him, but it wasn't at all what he was expecting. He leaned into the cushion with his body turned toward his friend and put his arm over the back of the couch. He wanted to move closer to comfort him but wasn't sure if the close proximity would be helpful or harmful. "I'm sorry, H, that's really tough."
Harry and David had been dating since the end of summer, and since it was February... that meant they had been together for almost six months. Half a year. That was a fairly long time, but by no means the longest relationship Harry had ever been in. He was one of those people who always had a steady, serious boyfriend. No funny business with him. This was one of Louis' biggest woes.
"Wanna talk about it?"
It was strange that Harry looked as if he had been sobbing all day, when he was the one who broke up with David and not the other way around. Although, Louis figured either position, the one to break up or the one to be broken up with, was emotionally draining. Still, it was also strange that he would break up a relationship on Valentine's Day eve, especially when he had already decorated the apartment in preparation for David coming over the next day.
Louis cringed at the thought. He felt an unfair sort of sudden relief that he wouldn't have to leave the apartment tomorrow night so Harry could have sexy times with his boyfriend.
"I found out-" he paused to rub at his eyes again, a little too harsh for Louis' liking. Harry did that sometimes, punished himself in stupid ways because he thought he deserved it. He exhaled and laughed a little bit but there was only coldness in the sound, and a certain waver that indicated another round of crying soon to come. "I found out he has a wife."
It took a second to sink in. "Wait, what?" He wasn't quick enough to filter the horror from his voice.
"He's been married for three years. Her name is Juliette and she seems like a lovely woman."
"Oh." Louis was baffled. David was a bit older than Harry, somewhere in the five to ten year range but Louis wasn't really sure. He always liked older men, at least that's what Louis gathered from his past relationships. "How'd you find out?"
"It was so stupid. She was at the diner with a big group for lunch. Showing each other pictures and talking about their plans with their husbands tomorrow. Because they're all married. I saw the pictures and heard her say his name, obviously."
Harry had worked at the diner ever since his first year of college, and he stuck with it all these years even though he usually hated it. He was a great server and people loved him for his pretty face and charismatic personality so he made more tips than the average person, which he confessed was the reason why he hadn't quit yet.
Louis enjoyed visiting Harry at work. Over the years he secretly memorized which tables to sit at so that Harry would be his server, since each server had an assigned region of the dining area. Sometimes when there was a lull in the typical crowd of people, Harry would sit down at his table and share a pot of coffee with him, telling him stories of crazy things that happened while he was working.
"Oh Harry," Louis breathed, feeling really bad for him. He knew how much Harry liked David, even if things had been going to shit lately. Seeing as they were best friends, Harry would often confide in him and divulge the complications of his relationship with David. Only two weeks ago, when they had a little too much wine at dinner and ended up lying on the kitchen floor staring up at the ceiling, Harry admitted he felt that their relationship was slowly falling apart. The moments of fighting were becoming more frequent than the moments of being in love.
"Yeah. I confronted him about it and he tried to hide it but I'm not stupid like he thinks I am, apparently. So he confessed."
"That's really shitty. I'm sorry." It still hadn't fully sunk in yet. The more Louis thought about it, the angrier he got. He could just imagine the asshole going home to his wife and trying to figure out how to split the day between her and Harry tomorrow. What a two-timing scumbag. Meanwhile Harry was planning an elaborate surprise for him to revive their wilting relationship.
Harry shrugged again but obviously it was affecting him more than he let on. "I'm just pissed because I was his side hoe and I didn't even know it," he laughed sarcastically, a bad attempt at a joke, given the situation. "And I have to figure out how to tell Juliette. Which means I'm breaking up a marriage, and that's a fucking shitty thing to do. That's a real fucking shitty thing to do."
Louis dragged him into a hug, resting his cheek on his shoulder. He squeezed tightly enough that he could feel Harry's heartbeat against his own. "Hey, it's gonna be okay."
Harry sniffled, curling his body into Louis'. "I just feel so fucking naive."
He wasn't sure what to say that would actually help so he just stayed quiet, rubbing his back in circles in a way he hoped made him feel better. He eyed the string of letters that spelling Happy Valentine's Day! Hanging above the mantel and wondered if he should take it down so Harry wasn't reminded of what happened. Tomorrow was going to be difficult, with all the images of love and romance thrown in his face.
"Is there anything I can do to help? I mean, if you wanna talk about it more, or you want a distraction, or-"
"It's okay Lou, I already feel better." He smiled weakly to prove his point, but it was more of a forced grimace than anything. "You're such a good friend."
And, okay. It was a compliment but the reminder of their friendship also made Louis ache. He pushed the feelings away because it was dumb to focus on his own dejection when Harry was clearly going through something way worse. Besides, it was an honor to be his best friend and Louis wasn't going to complain about the title.
"Do you want to take a bath?" There was a quiet pause and then Louis thought better of it. "I'm gonna draw you a bath," he decided, not waiting for an answer. Comforting people wasn't his strong suit, he didn't think, but he knew Harry so inherently, the task seemed easier.
"It's okay, you don't have to do that-"
"No, no, seriously. Just relax here. I'll come get you when it's ready."
Harry smiled up at him with watery eyes and Louis resisted the urge to ruffle his hair. Or kiss his forehead. Or do something even worse like admit to his crush on him just to show he was loved. Because Harry always deserved to feel loved.
Louis turned quickly on his heel and nearly ran to the bathroom. Sometimes being around him made it hard to think or even to breathe, he felt so strongly about him. He focused on filling the bath to distract himself from his thoughts.
The bathtub had been a huge selling point for Harry when they were looking for an apartment together, years ago. Louis had been indifferent about it because who even took baths anymore, anyway, when showers were so much easier? In his opinion, baths were more trouble than they were worth. Harry disagreed. They ended up in with the nice bathtub even though the apartment was smaller than the other ones and more expensive. So Louis had a hard time saying no to Harry. Sue him.
He dug around in the cabinet beneath the sink because he knew there was bubble bath in there somewhere. Aha! Right in the very back behind the millions of other toiletries Harry stored in there. He went through these phases where he would become obsessed with self-care and buy all of these different lotions and soaps, usually after a breakup.
The bubble bath made the room smell like jasmine when Louis poured it in. He probably used too much judging the amount of bubbles that formed, but what did he know? He swirled his hand around in the water to make sure it was the right temperature, a little on the hotter side because it would cool down as time passed and he didn't want Harry to be sitting in cold water.
He found his speaker and connected his phone to it through bluetooth, searching through YouTube for some of the relaxing meditation music Harry liked to listen to when he's stressed and/or upset. There was a two-hour-long video with wind charms and Spanish guitar. Louis had no idea what he was doing but it sounded nice so he went with it. If Harry found it annoying, Louis would just turn it off for him.
He went back to retrieve him and wasn't very surprised to find him crying again. Politely, he ignored the shimmery tears for Harry's sake because he tried to wipe them away when he saw Louis enter the room. He looked so sad and undone in a way he had never looked before.
"All ready, H," Louis said softly. He took his hand and led him to the bathroom because he worried Harry wouldn't go otherwise.
The corners of his lips quirked upwards when he saw the bubbles and heard the music. He turned back to hug Louis in thanks. When he pressed close, his tears wet Louis' skin.
"I love you a lot," Harry sighed into his neck, a bit sleepy and sad, jaded from what must've been an awful day. "You're so good to me."
"Love you too. Call for me if you need anything," Louis instructed, giving him one last squeeze before pulling away. He would've waited for Harry to let go of the hug first, but butterflies were fluttering in his belly and it was better to detach sooner rather than later.
With one last pat on Harry's shoulder, Louis left and closed the door partially behind him, enough so that he could hear if Harry needed anything. Retreating to his own bedroom to flop face first on his mattress and muffle a scream in his pillow was the safest thing to do in that moment.
He felt bad for feeling slightly excited that Harry was single again but he couldn't help it. The heart wanted what it fucking wanted and Louis' heart had decided years ago that it wanted Harry. How stupid and unfortunate.
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A/N: I'd love to hear what you think so far!