This one is kinda long I just wanted to get the greiving out of the way.
Chapter 3
One month Alexia kept telling herself, one month to go. After eleven years I will finally be married to Jeremy. She went over the wedding day a million times in her head. The walking down the aisle, the vows, the I dos, the reception, the honeymoon, it all played out in her mind over and over for years. The thought of it actually happening was almost overwhelming, but it was her desire and she would not be shaken. Something that amused Alexia was the fact that she had been with the same man for so long and she still found herself daydreaming about him and always thinking of him. Yeah she could focus on other things but if there was nothing that considered real thought, her mind wondered back to him for no particular reason at all. Unlike some people she was never unsure of where her heart was or where it belonged. She was never able to look at another man the way she looked at Jeremy, he just took her breath away.
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First the time was going by too slow, now it was too fast. It was just over a week until the wedding. Alexia started worrying things weren't done. She called her wedding planner at least seven time a day to make sure every detail was taken care of and ready to go. She was constantly reassured everything was going great and would be in its place at the right moment. Alexia didn't want be a bridezilla so she tried to be as nice as possible and apologize every time she called. By the end of the day she rationalized with herself so she could sleep without annoying Jeremy, but the second she woke up she was worrying again.
Exactly one week left and Alexia gets a call from Julia, the planner, there was a problem with the flowers. Just what she needed, more to worry about. The storm outside was one the worst she had ever seen, she hated driving in the rain but this was necessary. She wasn't about to let flowers ruin her wedding.
The flower shop was not her favorite, she had to go around a very narrow curve she always thought would make the car tilt over. Without too much thought she rushed over she just wanted whatever the problem they were having to be fixed. She went speeding, but barely paid any attention to the rain pouring down outside so fast her wipers could barely keep up. She was coming to that dreaded curve and she told herself: 'Just this one time your almost there' she repeated as it approached. Her chant was disturbed by her phone vibrating in her lap, it was Jeremy. Without another thought she pressed the gas pedal and stopped paying attention to her speed around the curve as she tried to answer her phone. Before she could place the phone to her ear she glanced up noticing she was going faster than she wanted to, she tried to slow down but her tires locked and she lost control in seconds.
On the other line Jeremy wondered why she hadn't said anything yet. Then he heard it her screams as she tried to gain control over the car but failed. "JEREMY!" she screamed. He yelled her name back and tried to ask what was going on, but all he got were her screams then the line disconnected.
The call was over, Jeremy just looked at his phone with his mouth open. He stood there for a moment of shock then it clicked in his head to call nine-one-one. He wasn't sure what happened exactly but he had a feeling it was bad and he wasn't ready to except the worst.
After nine-one-one he called his best friend Franky because he didn't know what he would do if he was alone too long. Since he lived around the corner he came to Jeremy's aide in minutes.
Franky was extremely nervous, he knew if something had happened to Max, Jerm would need to have someone constantly around, he was in love with her for eleven years and he wasn't sure if he knew how to move on, or find another direction in his life. They waited together, but Jerm couldn't stop moving or pacing, but Franky couldn't do nothing but sit and chew his finger nails. Franky had known them the same amount of time, he had worked with them in the supermarket, its where they all met.
Two hours after Franky arrived the door bell finally rang. Jeremy froze and they both looked in the direction of the door. Jeremy ran and Franky walked with his everlasting patience. Jeremy threw the door open and there were two officers in front of him.
"Jeremy Preston?" one officer asked.
"Yes?" Jeremy said.
"Mr. Preston I'm Detective-"
"I don't care, can you please just tell me what is going on with Alexia." Jeremy cut him off, he could care less who was at his door he just needed to know how Alexia was doing and what the hell was going on. The officer nodded, he understood his anxiety.
That was it the officer had that face one of those "I hate this part of the job" faces and Jeremy's heart sank. "Mr. Preston, I'm sorry to have to tell you this," Jeremy could feel the tears beginning to swell up in his eyes "but there was an accident on Sumter Road and your Fiance's car crashed. It seems she may have been driving too fast around the curve and with the rain... well... we still have to look at the car to get any other aspects." He was walking around the subject of what happened to Alexia.
"You said everything except weather or not she is ok."
The officer looked down at the ground for a moment he always hated having to do this. "I'm sorry Mr. Preston Alexia did not make it, the car tumbled and hit the wall."
Jeremy didn't have it in him to stand, to feel, Franky was right next to him and supported his weight as he let his body go. Franky helped sit him on the floor in front of the door. Tears were streaming down his face but Franky knew he had to be stronger than Jeremy in order to help him. Franky just nodded at the officers and asked them to keep him informed. The officers nodded and took the hint to leave as Franky started closing the door.
Jeremy couldn't hold himself up to sit, he let his body fall back and hit the floor and just cried silently as he stared up at the ceiling. Franky knew Jeremy wasn't going to move for a long time so he went to do what needed to be done... the phone calls.
First of course was Alexia's parents.
"Hello?" Nicola answered
"Hi Mrs. Varga, it's Franky." he tried to keep his voice straight, but he wasn't doing a very good job.
"Franky what's wrong?" she asked
"Mrs. Varga, I have..." he paused to think of the word he wanted to use "horrible news."
"What happened?" she caught the note in his voice and became frightened, she almost began to cry just because she could tell he was about to.
"It's Alexia, she's... dead." he couldn't believe the words that were coming out his mouth. They almost sounded like a lie, or a really bad joke.
"What?" she asked like she misheard him.
"Alexia... died... in a car accident."
Instantly Nicola became hysterical. "What, Alexia, NO! There must be a mistake. Where is Jeremy?" she demanded. She knew he wasn't kidding but she needed to hear it from him.
"I'm sorry," he began to cry himself "There isn't a mistake, and Jeremy I don't think he can talk right now or move."
Her cries became screams of horror. Her first born daughter was dead. He could here Juan coming to her asking what's wrong. All she could say was Alexia through her screams. Juan kept asking what happened but she couldn't say it, all she said "Alexia, my baby."
Juan took the phone "Hello who is this!" he yelled.
"Juan it's me Franky "he said softly through his tears.
"Franky what the hell is going on!"
"Alexia... died in an accident." he hated having to say it over and over, he wished it was a joke or a dream.
"What! Where's Jeremy." some how they thought talking to Jeremy would make Franky's words less true.
"Mr. Varga Jeremy is lying on the floor crying and I think he will be there for a long time."
"No! Put him on the phone!"
Franky was getting frustrated. Sadness and frustration were not a good mix, cause then you just start yelling.
"Mr. Varga!" he yelled "talking to Jeremy isn't going to change what I just said! Jeremy is to beside himself to even move!"
He heard Juan begin to cry as the truth hit him in the heart. The line clicked, the worst was over. Now he had to call Jeremy's parents. It wasn't as bad, his mother was going to come but Franky told her no, to let him be alone right now. After the parents everyone else would have to find out by word of mouth, he couldn't take saying it again. Now he needed time to suffer the loss of one his best friends. He walked over to Jeremy who hadn't moved and probably hadn't even blinked since he left him there. He had only continued to cry. Franky got on the floor and lay next to him.
The night past and neither had moved from the floor, the phone had kept ringing but no one bothered to answer. After about midnight the calls stopped and Franky fell asleep in the same spot. Jeremy hadn't moved, hadn't slept, or thought. He no longer wanted to be in the real world, it didn't make sense anymore. It had no feeling.
He knew it must have been morning because his phone started to vibrate in his pocket, after what he believed was a long break. In his mind he kept saying: seven more day, just seven more days to see her walk down the aisle. For two years she worked and worked on every detail of this wedding and now she cant even see it. He wondered why, why was God doing this? Not just to him and the family but why her? He knew he had no right to ask but the thought couldn't help but cross his mind.
Why? Why? Why?
He wasn't sobbing or screaming or anything out of control, he just let the tears fall out of his eyes until there was none left. He couldn't find it in him to move at all, nothing mattered, he didn't care. The rest of the world could be ending but he didn't care, his was already over.
He heard Franky on the phone in the distance then he started to listen for once.
"I guess just sent it all back, cancel everything." he wished he could hear what was being said on the other line. He though for a minute... send it all back... cancel everything. He was talking to the planner. Then he thought of what he would do. She worked so hard to have everything, the least he could do was see it, and if she was watching from somewhere, she could see it too.
"No." Jeremy groaned, but Franky didn't hear him.
"Yes. I don't know what else to do, you gotta cancel it, its still early enough." Franky was telling the planner.
"NO!" Jeremy screamed and slammed his fists on the floor, he still didn't want to get up.
Franky walked over to where Jeremy was laying "No What?" he asked confused, he wasn't sure if Jeremy was talking to him or losing his mind already and screaming at himself.
"Don't cancel it Franky, don't cancel anything."
"But Jeremy she's-"
"Don't cancel it, I know she's not coming back! I will still pay, I wat everything except the food, even the stupid flowers that she died to go take care of! I want everything in it's place in six days no exceptions. I want the photographer to take pictures of everything. She will see how everything came out."
Franky said "Ok" and walked away to tell the planner.
Died. Jeremy thought, she died. She was dead. She will never come back for as long as he lived. What if he died, then he didn't ever have to come back to this world that she isn't in. He stopped that thought, she would be upset at him if he went and died. Then again he should be upset at her, she hated driving in the rain. She hated that curve. She always drove slow around it. Why did she speed up now? For what flowers? Is it so important to have flowers?
He began to think maybe he should have approached the wedding differently... no either way he still has plenty of money she would have got the stupid flowers anyway. Who was he kidding he could never be mad at her. It wasn't her fault she died. It wasn't anyone's fault. These kinds of things happen all the time, only now it was happening to him. There was no time machine to go back and change it, there was nothing he could do. Alexia knew that and if she was watching over him she was probably mad he hadn't moved or done anything. She was probably yelling and screaming at him from above to be strong. With those thoughts he took a deep breath and sat up, wiped the wetness off his face then stood.
Franky heard his movement and came over by the front door. "Welcome back" he said.
Jeremy shook his head "Can you take me to her parents house." he asked.
"Of course." Franky said, he would do anything that would keep him from laying on the floor like yesterday.
Jeremy began to walk to their bedroom to go shower but paused at the door with his hand on the knob. He considered going in, but he couldn't, not yet, everything in there was her's. Her scent always lingered in the bedroom. He dropped his hand and turned around "Let's just go." he said to Franky.
He needed to be out of his house. They drove silently to the Varga house. Jeremy was nervous, he didn't know what to expect from her parents. How would they treat him?
They pulled in the driveway and sat there for minute. Jeremy stared at the house with his hand on the handle, he took three deep breaths and opened the door and stepped out. Franky did the same and the walked together to the front door. All the blinds were closed, so they didn't know if anyone was inside, but he was sure her mother wouldn't leave the house for days.
Alexia's sister , Melissa, answered the door. She cracked it to poke her head out and see who it was, once she saw Jeremy she opened it up and let them in. her eyes were puffy and her nose was red. They walked into the living room to see her family on the couch with the TV on. Nicola took one look at Jeremy and started crying again. Jeremy stopped he wasn't sure if coming was a good idea. He looked at Marcos, Alexia brother, as he stood up with his brother, Jose, to greet them.
"Whats up?" Marcos said and shook their hands, his voice was raspy.
Hey." Franky greeted them.
"Hey Marcos, Jose. Should I go? I don't want to upset anyone anymore." Jeremy said.
"No" Marcos said "you should stay, my mother has been asking about you, but you weren't answering all night. She is cooking, you guys should eat."
Melissa came and kissed Jeremy and Franky on the cheek and continued to the kitchen.
"Ok" Jeremy said and walked by himself to Alexia's parents. He bent down on one knee to the floor in front Nicola and touched her shoulder. Without looking up she pulled him into a tight hug and he could feel the tears begin to run down his face again.
Melissa announced lunch minutes later. Everybody squeezed together and ate silently for a little bit, until Jeremy spoke. "I have decided not to cancel all the arrangements for the wedding." he said, everyone looked at him.
"Why?" Melissa asked clearly speaking for everyone.
"Because, she spent two years arranging every single detail. I'm not going to let her work go to waste. If she's watching I want her to be able to see what her finished product looks like. I want us all to see it, and remember it."
Nicola smiled and wiped a tear.
"Thank you Jeremy" Juan said "We will be there to see it all, don't worry."
"How much does it cost?" Jose asked, his father shot him a look.
"It;s ok... just over a million, with food, but I canceled the food."
All their eyes widened "A million Jeremy!" Nicola said "Maybe you should cancel it, that s lot of money, that's not just pocket change."
"I don't care about the money. I have other money. I set aside this money for the wedding only, she didn't even use all of it. I'm not canceling anything. I guess we can call the guest and tell them, but I'm still letting everything go through, I'm not changing my mind." Jeremy said in a tone that finalized his decision for everyone.
Franky patted Jeremy's shoulder, he knew Jeremy wasn't budging even if he went bankrupt tomorrow. He could hear Jeremy's phone vibrating as Jeremy reached into his pocket to give it to Franky, it was the planner, Julia. Jeremy didn't want to talk to anyone, he didn't want to have to deliver the news to anyone, neither did Franky but he'd rather do it then have to put Jeremy though it. He knew saying it again and again would be like Alexia dying again and again.