───「WE'LL SAVE OURSELVES」───
It was hard, knowing I had to leave people behind. I didn't like it, but I knew it was their choice, even if those people were my friends. I had made a final swoop of Sam and I's room, looking for anything she might have left behind when she went to the lab, only finding a small blade. I took it with me, keeping it on the inside pocket of my jacket, close to my heart. Sure, it was corny, but it made me feel closer to her. I'm coming, Sam. We're surviving. Together.
- "Remember, it's not black rain but it can turn at any moment." –I stood in the middle of the hallway as everyone started to leave- "So keep the person with your assigned chem tent in sight at all times."
- "No one but us saves ourselves." –Jaha nodded at me and moved outside- "We ourselves must walk the path."
I stood behind, waiting for everyone to make it out when Harper and Jasper walked up to me from one of the hallways.
- "Not too late to change your mind."
- "Yes, it is." –Jasper answered- "You can still stay, you know?"
- "I'm not a quitter."
- "Is that the only reason?" –he rose an eyebrow at me; we all knew it wasn't.
- "I'm going with Sam." –he chuckled and nodded- "What am I going to tell her?" -I sighed, tilting my head to the side and raising my eyes to look at him.
- "She'll understand."
- "It's going to break her heart."
- "I'm counting on you to keep her sane now."
- "It took the end of the world for you to trust me with Sam, huh?" –I couldn't help but smile.
- "Well, I still don't get what she sees in you." –he shrugged his shoulders but I knew he was just playing- "I hope you'll find a way to live, she deserves it more than any of you going into that place."
What he was saying was true, and I knew it wasn't an attack on me. Jasper and Sam had hit it off probably even before I considered Sam an ally. They had been close through all of our time on Earth, Sam always looking out for Jasper, even when she should've never forced that responsibility onto herself. For a second, I was glad Sam wasn't there because I could see her staying behind with Jasper not to leave him alone.
- "Where's Monty?" –Harper questioned looking around me.
- "Unloading the Rover. We're leaving it behind for you, by the way." –I saw the sadness in her eyes- "He didn't say goodbye?"
- "No..." –she shook her head, I could tell she was trying to hold back the tears- "You and Sam... take care of him, will you?"
- "We will."
She took a step closer to me and I hugged her. I knew I'd miss her, but I couldn't understand why Monty had left without saying anything. As we broke apart, I looked at Jasper, I could feel my eyes about to tear up; he might not have realized, but I cared for him, a lot, and not only because Sam would have done just about anything for him, but because I knew Jasper was good.
- "May we meet again." –I spoke, fighting the tears and the sadness in my voice, really wishing it'd be true.
- "We won't."
- "Whatever the hell you want."
I shook my head, it was getting harder not to get emotional. He simply laughed and moved to hug me. I couldn't believe I was leaving him behind. It felt wrong.
- "I'm glad Sam's not here." –he confessed as he moved away- "This would have been too hard." –he moved his hands to his eyes, before the tears could fall- "Will you tell her that I love her and that... that I'm terribly glad she agreed to be my friend?" –his voice was shaky as he spoke, almost a murmur as he finished- "I'm so thankful she was in that dropship... I wouldn't have made it this far without her." -a quiet chuckle escaped his mouth.
- "I will." –I nodded profusely, a tear falling down my cheek- "She loves you so much, Jasper, and I know she's your first friend from Earth," –I chuckled softly- "but you're so much more to her, you're family."
- "She's my family too." –I could see the tears in his eyes as he smiled- "Thank you, Bellamy."
Sam pulled me inside the elevator as soon as it opened, placing her finger over her lips, motioning me to stay quiet. I nodded even if I had no idea what this was all about. We needed that bunker; this couldn't be our end.
We got down on the first level, moving to the room just above the street that crossed Polis so that we could see our people arrive. Sam remained silent, standing on the broken balcony, just in front of where there was no barrier, her feet right on the edge. It had always fascinated me, how Sam seemed not to fear anything. I watched as she closed her eyes as the wind pick up, raising her arms and smiling. But we didn't have time for this, so I walked toward her, standing at the door of the balcony.
- "What are you thinking, Sam?"
- "Do you trust me to do what's best for us?" -I hesitated; I didn't know what she was thinking, even less now that she was Azgeda- "You don't? Fine." –she didn't seem hurt by my skepticism- "Can you try now, at least?" –I nodded as she turned to look at me- "I need you to choose a fighter for Skaikru. I know you'd never choose yourself, but in case the thought crosses your head, no, it can't be you."
- "And then what? They die as soon as the fight starts? And why not me."
- "They won't die." –Sam shook her head, turning back to the street- "If you go out there, they'll hunt you down."
- "And they won't hunt you down?"
- "They can try, but they won't succeed."
- "How do you know?"
- "Call me narcissistic but I know for a fact I can win them, I'm a killing machine; Ulger made sure I was, I am trained for this. Besides, hut me down? Let them try." –she seemed entertained by only thinking about it but her voice didn't leave room for discussion either- "Also, you can't tell anyone about my new blood."
- "They already know."
- "You know very well what I mean." -she eyed me- "Not to Bellamy, not to Octavia, not even to Kane, and let's not even get me started on Jasper and Monty and Harper and..."
- "Fine, fine." –I stopped her- "Why?"
- "They haven't been particularly friendly to Nightbloods." -it was a reason, not a good one, but she had a point; however, I knew there was something else.
- "Sam, you're still the same."
- "Truth is, I don't want to discuss with any of them the circumstances of my new blood, alright? You want them to freak out? I don't."
- "They won't learn it from me but my mom...."
- "Your mom is too afraid of me to say anything that might kill us all. She won't."
- "I'm sorry about what happened at the lab, I'd have never let you do it if I had known it wouldn't work."
- "I know, it's okay. It just bugged me how your mom was so sure it'd work when it was Emori but, as soon as it was you, she came clean. I know they've just met but, honestly? I had just met you when we landed and I didn't try to get rid of you just because you were one of the privileged."
- "Well, we weren't exactly on the best of terms." –I chuckled next to her.
- "I don't trust easy, but I'm glad you were there to save me all those times."
- "I had help."
- "Sure." –she scoffed, turning around and moving to rest her lower back on the handrail as she crossed her arms over her chest- "Whose exactly?"
- "Well, to begin with, it was hard to let you die knowing how much my co-leader cared for you. I didn't need him going rogue."
- "Please, Clarke..."
She started laughing, her head falling back as she closed her eyes; her laugh was contagious and I soon found myself laughing with her. It felt nice having a little moment of peace with her like that, we might not have always seen eye to eye, but I liked to think of us as friends. She liked to say we wouldn't have survived without me –or Bellamy- but the truth was that she was just as important for our survival as we both had been. Maybe even more.
- "Sam!" –a new voice called for her, both of us turning around- "Hey!" –I landed eyes on him- "Hi, Clarke."
- "Bellamy!" –his name dropped from Sam's lip- "You're here!"
- "I'm coming up, don't you dare move."
He started running in the direction of the door below us as Sam chuckled and turned to look at me. She had sounded so surprised and so excited to see him, her eyes telling me the same thing as I looked at her but it lasted only a second before she took a deep breath.
- "You're going to have to take care of him when he goes rogue."
- "Sam, we can find another way." –I tried to lighten up her mood- "I still don't know what you intend on doing."
- "Well, it's an easy plan." –she shrugged her shoulders- "I go in, I kill everyone and your champion kills me." –she moved her hand in front of me as she saw me ready to complain- "You know as well as me this is the only way. If I can't fight for Skaikru no one else can. The only one who's trained in Grounder combat is Octavia and I'm not risking her life when I know damn well I can win this for you myself."
I knew she was right just as I realized this moment we had just shared was Sam trying to leave our relationship on good terms before dying. I hated it.
- "Sam..."
Bellamy's soft yet eager voice as he entered the room made me turn around. Knowing what I knew, I felt I should have left them alone, but for some reason, I couldn't move as I looked at them: Sam practically jumped on him, Bellamy catching her in his arms as he laughed, questioning why she didn't always receive him like that before she kissed him.
I had to look away, not because their love upset me but because it reminded me of what I had lost and because I knew what Bellamy was about to go through as soon as the sun came out the next day and the Final Conclave started because I had no doubts Sam would win Roan for the spot to represent Azgeda. Even if just out of stubbornness.
- "Everything ok, Clarke?" –Bellamy asked me, he had left Sam back on the ground but his arms remained around her.
- "Yeah, yeah." –I smiled- "Everyone is here already?"
- "Most are." –he answered way too quickly- "What happened here?"
- "It's possible that the clans are at war." –Sam mused as she moved back to the balcony; I knew she was looking for the time to get down to fight.
- "What?"
- "We avoided a generalized war by calling in a Conclave." –I explained- "One person of each clan must fight to the death. Whoever wins, gets the bunker. No guns."
As my words settled in, it was as if a spark lightened in Bellamy's brain as he moved behind Sam in less time than I could count, trapping her in the balcony, pulling her away from the edge.
- "Please, tell me you aren't fighting for Skaikru."
- "I'm not." –Sam turned around to face him- "Because they banned me from doing so, not because I didn't try, by the way."
- "We haven't chosen a champion for us yet, but we have to do it soon."
- "There's no way we can win this." –Bellamy sighed, clearly a weight off his shoulders as Sam answered honestly that she wouldn't fight for us- "What are we going to do."
- "Oh, I have a plan." –Sam was quick to move from his reach as I got ready for whatever happened next.
- "I don't like your plans."
- "Not even if Skaikru gets the Bunker?"
- "Every Skaikru?" –he pressed her.
- "Every Skaikru."
She nodded, she wasn't technically lying, she wasn't Skaikru anymore according to practically everyone in the Tower. And that's when it hit me, that's when I understood why Octavia couldn't fight for us.
- "Fine, then tell me what the plan is, maybe I can help."
- "I need you to make sure O doesn't make it here until the Final Conclave has started."
- "Why?"
- "Well, first of all, she will want to fight and I'm sure she'd do just fine but I'm the older sister so I don't want her in the arena. That's the second reason."
- "I'll try." –he nodded- "What's next?"
- "Jusheda." –an Azgeda warrior stood at the door- "Em time" [It's time]
- "Mochof." –[Thank you] Sam nodded at him before turning to Bellamy- "I have to go now, but I'll be back."
- "Where are you going?"
- "I'm putting the plan in motion." -she shrugged her shoulders.
- "I'm coming with you." -he moved after her but she stopped him, placing her hand on his chest.
- "You can't."
- "Why not? What are you going to do?"
- "I'm going to fight Roan." -she moved away from him.
- "What!? Is that your plan?"
- "Only the beginning." –Sam murmured- "I'm sorry, Bellamy, it's the only way."
- "What way? What are you saying."
- "You just make sure O doesn't put a foot in Polis until I'm done, alright? I won't pull this off if she does... they won't let me." –she moved to the door, leaving a startled and desperate Bellamy in the middle of the room, but before she left, she turned to look at him- "I'll see you later, love."
Sam disappeared into the shadows, Bellamy tried to follow her but two Azgeda men cut his way and forced him back into the room; as much as he protested, he couldn't win this one.
- "Clarke!" –he faced me now- "What the fuck is happening?"
- "Sam volunteered to fight for Skaikru but Roan opposed. I think he fears she could kill him and win for us."
- "Of course she could! You saw what she did to Ulger."
- "I know..."
- "What happened?" –distraught was all I could read in his face- "Clarke, I need to know."
- "To prevent Sam from fighting for Skaikry or Trikru, the two clans she's been attached to and that would allow her to take the spot as their Champion, Roan named her domina kom Azgeda."
- "Domina?" –he blinked hard a couple of times- "What is that supposed to mean."
- "Let's just say Azgeda is ruled by two people now." –I knew what he was thinking as soon as he took a step back, startled by my words- "It's not a marriage." –I tried to ease his thoughts.
- "Yet."
- "Sam would never do that to you."
- "This is not about me, Clarke, this is about her." –he took a deep breath- "I never proposed to her because none of us believes in the whole marriage ordeal. Fuck, you don't think I thought of asking her to marry me a thousand times?" -he scoffed; truth was, I hadn't- "I love Sam more than I love my life; all I want to do is be with her."
- "Bellamy, I..."
- "But, if she wanted to move on with Roan, I'd have to let her go. I can't choose for her. But marrying by force? I can't let her do that, not when I know that's the last thing she'd want to do with her life."
- "For what's worth..." –I pointed down from the balcony, Sam standing in the deem light- "They can't get married if one is dead."
- "Wait, what is Roan doing there?"
- "Sam's fighting him now to decide which of them fights tomorrow for Azgeda."
- "You're telling me Roan didn't want her on the conclave but will fight her one-on-one now?" –he scoffed- "That's a stupid move, even for Roan."
- "I know..." –I sighed- "There has to be something else we aren't seeing. I'm thinking they'll just fight now but not to the death."
- "What happens later? Once Sam wins Roan." -he didn't even consider the opposite side of the coin, he knew she'd win.
- "She fights tomorrow for Azgeda."
- "How does that hand the bunker to Skaikru?"
- "She will protect our champion from all the other clans'."–I swallowed- "Once there's only her and whoever fights for us, she'll let them kill her... we win, the bunker is ours, every Skaikru survives."
- "No..." -he took a step back.
- "And I think, the reason she doesn't want Octavia here is that, if your sister fights for us, the clans won't let Sam fight for Azgeda. If the people in Polis have something clear about Sam other than what she is, is that no one touches Octavia. They know she'll die for her."
- "I can't let her do that, Clarke." –Bellamy moved to the door- "I can't pay that price and I won't let her either. I know it's selfish but I can't lose her."
- "There's no other way."
- "There's always another way, Clarke!"
He moved back to the balcony, yelling and enraged but I couldn't blame him, even if seeing him like that scared me. Out of the shadows, I distinguished a couple more people following Roan and standing at his sides; from where we were, we could see Sam moving her head, looking at them all, her posture changing completely.
- "What's happening?"
- "I... I don't know, something's wrong." –I moved back from the balcony- "Come on."
We ran downstairs to the ground, getting there fast as we were only on the first level. Sam had her longer blade out, she was looking pissed, a massive contrast to the pleased smile on Roan's face.
- "What's going on?" –I questioned before Bellamy could even open his mouth; I didn't need him making a mess.
- "I'll tell you what's happening." –Sam eyed me as she pointed the blade to Roan's throat- "This asshole is trying to ban me from the conclave altogether."
- "I'm not banning you, the Council is meeting to decide your fate."
- "The Council was just fine with our little duel until you went back to persuade them because you're a fucking asshole and you're afraid." –Sam took a step towards him, a couple of Azgeda men got closer to her threateningly- "You know you are going to die before Praimfaya."
- "You will obey your King."
- "My King?" –Sam scoffed; if Roan was trying to enrage her, he was doing a great job- "You will kneel to the Queen."
Sam kicked him on the stomach, Roan falling back on his ass at the unexpectedness of the situation. I couldn't say anything nor Bellamy could grab Sam back before Roan nodded at the four men with him who quickly surrounded Sam, taking out their blades and forcing Bellamy and me away as the two members of the Council that were there too moved away from behind the fighters to avoid getting hit, but willing to stay to see how this played out.
- "Roan, stop this!" –I yelled.
- "This is her fault, she just had to stay down and let me fight for our clan."
- "So you're getting your dogs to get rid of me? To do the job you don't want to do?" –Sam stood still in the middle of the circle- "Fine, I'll start with them."
- "Sam, please, let it go." –Bellamy begged- "It's not worth it, we'll find a way."
- "Two things before I kill these idiots: number one: your life is worth everything I have; number two: I am the way."
I knew Sam loved Bellamy and I knew she was willing to die for him but that didn't stop me from being startled by her words nor from my heart breaking a little for them. They both had tried so hard to be good for each other, to go back to what they were... but I was starting to think there was no going back for Sam.
Aware of her capability of killing those men, I was not going to stand in her way, so I pulled Bellamy back as he protested almost getting rid of me when the men moved against Sam. It was entrancing, watching her fight; sometimes I wished I had her abilities, her strength... I moved my eyes from her to look at Roan, the superiority complex his face showed dropped more and more as the seconds passed, his men falling dead on the ground until only Sam was still standing, covered in red blood. They didn't even manage to cut her. It'd be easy to tell now that we are Nightbloods. Roan looked taken aback as Sam pointed her bloody blade at him.
- "Drop the blade!"
- "Echo." –Sam mused as I looked around trying to find her; she was lying on a roof near us, pointing an arrow at Sam- "I thought you learned your lesson."
- "Drop the blade, Jusheda." -Echo's tone was threatening- "I'm protecting my King."
- "Your King is weak." -Sam didn't flinch, answering her with a mocking tone- "Make it a killer shot or Roan goes down with me and Azgeda dies with us, Echo."
- "Jusheda," -a new female voice spoke in the distance- "your move." -Roan seemed to recognize the woman but not Sam as we all moved our gazes up to where Echo was, now with a blade to her neck and a woman standing over her- "We'll follow you."
- "I guess Azgeda will have a new Queen after all." –Sam chuckled, tilting her head back at Roan again- "For the sake of correctness, I'll make you the same deal we had before you pulled this shit: fight me to represent Azgeda in the conclave. Die now to my blade or tomorrow burning outside the bunker. Choose." -Roan eyed Sam up and down and opened his mouth to speak but the hooves of a horse in the silence of the night gained all our attention- "O..." -Sam whispered as Bellamy realized what was happening, running to Octavia- "No..."
- "No clan will allow you to fight now that your sister is here to fight for Skaikru."
Roan smiled to himself as he spoke, the men from the council whispered and nodded their heads to each other before they moved away. Sam had been right. I had moved my eyes from her just a second, the same second it took for her to let her guard down as Octavia approached us and Roan pulled her to him and stabbed her.
- "But just in case." –he pulled the blade out from her abdomen, whispering the words just loud enough for me and Sam to hear now that Bellamy was away from us.
- "Sam!" –I whisper-yelled as I ran up to her; Roan pushed her back, leaving in the shadows as I got to her, holding her up and looking at her abdomen.
- "I'm fine, don't let them know." –she pointed with her head at the siblings and I nodded- "I'll see you in hell, Roan!" –she yelled, holding her abdomen to stop the bleeding, it was good she was wearing black.
- "Sam!" –Octavia yelled, her eyes frantically traveling all over Sam- "What happened?"
- "I'm fine, it's not my blood. I'll hug you later when I'm not a blood pile." –Sam smiled at her- "But I'm going to need a favor from you since I assume you're here for the conclave, fucking up my bulletproof plan, by the way."
- "Whatever you need." –Octavia nodded taking Sam's hand, the one Sam hadn't used to press her wound; she was being extra careful not to let them know about the Nightblood thing.
- "Kill Roan."