Grace and I raced up the stairs to my bedroom. She won. I had eaten more than her, so it had pulled me down. I chose to inform her of this fact, but she merely rolled her eyes.
My enormous room was neat and perfectly tidy; note to self: thank Rebecca for making my bed again. We plopped down at my computer, and I pulled out the DVD and journal with a flourish. Something fell out of the journal, underneath the table.
“Ta, DA!” I said triumphantly, waving the two objects in Grace’s face. She went slightly cross-eyed, trying to keep it in view. Now that the phone call was over and I had sufficient ammo on Ellen, I was feeling hugely optimistic, and was, in an odd and twisted way, was even looking forward to my first shift of punishment tomorrow.
“Great,” Grace said. “What is it?”
I opened my mouth. “…I don’t know.”
She looked at me and I dove underneath the table, pulling out the document that had fallen out of Ellen’s leather-bound journal.
“NO WAY!” I yelled in a slightly muffled voice from underneath the table.
“What? What is it?” Grace said, trying to join me in my cave and nearly cracking her skull open on the edge of my table.
I re-surfaced, waving the yellow papers in the air like a flag. “Grace, you’ll never guess what this is!” I said excitedly, clambering back onto my rolly chair.
“I’ll take your word for it. What is it?”
I didn’t respond because I was too busy staring towards the heavens, savouring the moment. I could just see it unfolding…
Grace snatched the papers out my hand and her eyes got wide as she stared at it. She looked up at me, a wicked grin spreading across her face. My smile was still dreamy, with all the beautiful possibilities open before me.
“Wow. Where did you get this?” she asked admiringly.
“Leah,” I said absently, still thinking of how I would put this to use.
“Nice,” Grace said, smirking. “There’s even a before and after picture!”
I came back down to earth, taking the papers back from Grace. I smirked, too, as I looked down at Ellen.
The papers were hospital admittance information, documenting Ellen’s nose job. Goodness, and I had only been joking the day that I asked if re-dying her hair had cost more than re-making her nose. I guess I’d hit a nerve, after all.
There were, like Grace had pointed out, two pictures. One was ‘before’ and it depicted a thirteen year-old Ellen, smiling up at the camera through a mouthful of metal braces. Her skin had been freckled, she had a seriously bad perm job, and her nose…well, let’s just say I can see why she had that changed. There was an enormous bump on her original nose, making it look like the beak of a giant, prehistoric bird; this was beautifully seen in the shot of her profile, throwing the nose into the spotlight. The ‘after’ picture changed Ellen dramatically – though her nose was red, inflated and sore-looking, the bump was gone and she looked more like the present-day Ellen rather than an eighth-grade loser. The second photo seemed like only a week after the surgery; her perm there was as bad as in the one before, and her braces glinted blindingly. Wow. Talk about a gift from heaven.
“This will do wonders for her reputation as the flawless Barbie doll,” Grace said gleefully.
“Gracious, yes,” I agreed.
These documents were so amazing that I became even more excited for the DVD. Powering on my computer, I slid in the disc and Grace and I leaned closer to watch.
***
The beginning was fuzzy. For the first ten seconds or so, I couldn’t tell what I was looking at. It seemed like the person filming was walking, and had forgotten that the camera was on. I could hear loud music pounding in the background, and I thought I caught a flash of blue – it was a pool party.
Suddenly, the camera became quite still, flying up to focus steadily on a familiar girl. Her hair was slick and smooth, the braces were gone, and this was obviously after her nose job. Ellen looked to be fifteen here; the naive and trusting expression from her hospital photo was gone. Instead, her eyes were the same hard and arrogant gray ones of the present-day Ellen, and she was wearing a very revealing blue bikini that accented the smokiness of her eyes and her tanned bare skin.
“Hey, baby, dance for me!”
Whoever yelled this was off-camera. Ellen turned to a much-older looking guy; she was surrounded by college-aged students.
“C’mon, McAllister!” someone else hollered. “Show us how you party!”
Ellen laughed and took one step in the direction of the voice. She stumbled tipsily and caught herself, giggling; she was obviously drunk.
The music suddenly became louder and Ellen began to dance. A guy jumped into the camera’s range and began to dance with her, shirtless and only in swimming trunks. Loud, drunken laughs and wolf-whistles came from the sidelines. The dancing went on for a good minute, becoming much more wild; the guy dancing with Ellen was beginning to sweat. All of a sudden, of all people, Jake burst into the camera’s vision.
“Hey!” he shouted angrily at the older guys. “Can’t you see she’s drunk? Get lost, pervs.”
The guys grumbled but none of them were seriously annoyed; I could see plenty of other girls in the background, just as drunk as Ellen and just as willing. Except for the one guy who had been grinding against Ellen.
“Make yourself scarce, Howe,” the guy said to Jake. “I’m having some fun here. Aren’t we, baby?” he asked, leering down at Ellen. She had stopped dancing and was looking at Jake, confused. Wow, she was really drunk.
“C’mon,” he added impatiently, taking Ellen by the arm and shaking her. “Keep dancing! C’mon, McAllister!”
Ellen looked bewildered. After a particularly rough shake from the guy, she began to cry.
“Get your hands off my girlfriend!” Jake roared, wrenching Ellen away from the college guy.
“Good one, Howe!” he laughed mockingly. “You think I’m an idiot? This chick isn’t yours – her sister is. Now back off before I decide that you’re better off at the bottom of the pool.”
There was a furious noise and then Jake punched the drunk guy, sending him reeling. Spitting out blood, the guy furiously flipped Jake off and stumbled drunkenly away.
“Have fun with the slut!” he called, slurring the words. “You better watch out for that one – she’s cold.”
Jake looked livid, as though he was about to rush off after him. But one look at the trembling Ellen – or was it Leah? – told him otherwise.
The patio cleared of the other party-goers until it was just Jake and Ellen, standing alone. Jake was shirtless too, so he must’ve been at the party with her. Ellen was pouting, trembling and crying at the same time. Whoever had been filming must have put the camera on some surface and was long gone by now, leaving the tape running.
“Hey, baby, you okay?” Jake asked, concerned. One hand reached up to brush some hair tenderly away from Ellen’s face; the other arm circled around her waist, pulling her bikini body close against his.
“Now that you’re here, I am,” Ellen cooed, glancing up at him with a distinctly sly and flirty expression. Even being drunk and nearly violated didn’t change that.
Jake chuckled; he hadn’t changed too much. But the next moment, Ellen frowned and burst into renewed, angry tears.
“What’s wrong?” Jake asked, bewildered and at a loss to understand her sudden behavior. One moment she’s flirting with him, the other, she’s bawling.
“I can’t believe he said that!”
“Said what?” asked a genuinely confused Jacob.
“Called me a slut! I’m not a slut! You should see the others!”
Jake was trying to calm her down, but Ellen was fighting, wrenching out of Jake’s embrace and crying hysterically.
“I’m so tired of people judging me! No one knows about what the others get up to, but I’m the one who gets called names! People are so mean!” Being drunk seemed to have made Ellen immature. “And do I get a thank you from people for keeping their secrets? No! I hate all of them. All the Leaguers! They’re so stupid and clueless! The guys are all pervs and idiots and the girls are scheming, hateful sluts! Sharon slept with both Shane AND Eric in the first week of school! She hates me and is always trying to stab me in the back! And all Ariel cares about is Kyle. Kyle this and Kyle that! All Kyle wants is to get laid, and that’s what he got – with Clarissa! Yeah, Clarissa, Ariel’s precious BFF,” Ellen was screaming hysterically. I could sense the bitterness pouring out of her as she used finger quotations around the word ‘BFF’.
“Whoa, s’ok, calm down, baby,” Jake was saying soothingly, looking around worriedly to make sure no one was hearing them. No one paid them any attention.
Ellen looked around too, her face tear-streaked and fierce. But she was no longer crying – she was furious. She caught sight of the camera and stalked over to it. Grace and I watched her face get closer and closer to the camera. Halfway there she stumbled and Jake caught her.
“Perfect!” Ellen said shrilly. Her gray eyes glittered meanly. “I’ve always wanted someone to hear this: I hate the Ivy Leaguers! None of them deserve it! Only I do. I’m surrounded by idiots everyday and I’m sick of pretending to like any of them! Grace Anderson,” sneered Ellen’s voice and beside me, Grace tensed up. “The beautiful, perfect Grace Anderson.” Ellen spat on the ground. “There! That’s what I think of you! You’re a slut, just like all the other girls – you’re just better at hiding it than the others! And as for Missy, don’t even get me started.” Ellen gave a cold laugh. “What a sorry, pathetic loser! The only decent ones are Mark and Nate and us girls know the only thing they’re good for!” Jake was starting to look angry.
“C’mon, calm down,” he began to murmur but Ellen cut him off. Letting out a string of profanities and curses, she called the Ivy Leaguers all the names under the sun and spilled a few more shockers: student-teacher affairs, who had two separate boyfriends, etcetera. Still screaming, she shouted how she had lied to a few of them to get them to break up with each other. What a manipulative cold girl.
Grace and I sat listening in shocked silence. When Ellen was done, she was breathing hard. She roughly dragged one arm across her face, wiping back the tears. Her chest heaved but she gradually calmed down as Jake soothed her, pulling her close to his body once more. They stood that way, touching, for a while. The music was now drumming in the distance.
“Jake?” Ellen pulled away. I had no doubt that it was Ellen and not Leah anymore. Leah wasn’t a Leaguer. Not to mention she wouldn’t manipulate people to get their secrets.
“Yeah?” Jake asked huskily, looking down at her.
“You know you’d be happier with me than with Leah,” Ellen said. Jake didn’t answer; he turned away to stare at the blurry figures in the distance, diving into the pool.
“I could make you feel good,” Ellen whispered, pressing herself closer to him and running one hand through Jake’s hair. I saw Jake clench his jaw.
Ellen kissed Jake’s neck lightly and then Jake couldn’t stand it; turning to face her, he took Ellen by the shoulders and brought his lips down onto hers. They stood there, kissing fiercely until the low battery signal on the camera came up. A few seconds later, the screen went black. The last thing it showed was two figures, wrapped around each other, kissing.
***
Grace and I looked at each other. There was anger in Grace’s eyes, but also hurt.
“You know what she said wasn’t true,” I said immediately.
Grace nodded. “I know, I know… I also knew Ellen hated me; but I didn’t think she hated me this much.”
“She was drunk.”
“So what?” Grace laughed bitterly. “That doesn’t mean she didn’t know what she was saying. What she was thinking inside came outside. Besides, a lot of the things she said were true. Sharon did sleep with…oh, whatever! It doesn’t matter.”
We sat in silence for a while. “Are you going to show this to people?” Grace finally asked.
I shook my head. “No. Because it would hurt a lot of people. A lot of the secrets Ellen spilled weren’t hers to tell. And I’m not going to tell it, either. But I am so pissed off at Jacob.”
Grace nodded, eyes wide. “I never knew he… went out with Leah. But to go out with her and then cheat with her manipulative sister?”
“Yeah. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Grace shot me a look but nodded. “Are you going to do anything at all to Ellen?” she asked, almost desperately.
I grinned at her, coming out of my slump. Okay, so Ellen is a hateful manipulative and scheming life-ruiner. Is that really such a surprise? Besides, this video is two years old. The only thing that made me angry was Jacob, but that was for another time.
I smiled evilly at Grace, patting her hand reassuringly.
“Hell, yeah.”
***
“Hey, Jay! Hey, Jeremy!” I greeted them cheerfully the next morning at school. I had twenty minutes till class started. Figures that I would find the two of them together.
“Courtney!” Jay chirped happily, throwing herself around my waist. She’s such a tiny thing, it’s perfect; no one would ever suspect her.
“Hey,” Jeremy greeted me.
“Listen, can you do something for me?” I asked, throwing in a conspiring wink.
“Sure!” Jay agreed enthusiastically at the same time that Jeremy stoutly replied, “Nope.”
“Thanks, sweetie. Aw, c’mon Jeremy! It’s not life-threatening this time, I promise,” I said earnestly, making my eyes go wide.
Jeremy looked alarmed. “Some things are worse than death.”
“Like what?” Jay piped up curiously from where she stood at Jeremy’s elbow.
“Like getting expelled,” Jeremy pointed out in all his wisdom. I could tell this argument impressed Jay.
“No one’s getting expelled,” I reassured them, crossing my fingers. Jeremy saw and raise an eyebrow.
“Pleeeeaseeee?” I begged, giving him a puppy dog look. Jeremy relented.
“I hate it when girls do that.”
“Yay, that’s a yes!” cheered Jay.
“Okay, so this is what you’re going to do…”
***
“Good heavens!” I exclaimed in muffled voice. “This is so itchy. Is this thing designed for maximum discomfort?”
The cafeteria ladies ignored me. I suppose they had better things to do than hear me complain about my suit. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I, Courtney Meyers, was wearing a chicken suit and was serving cafeteria lunch as my punishment. I think I’m going to have to egg the Bouncing Wonder’s house after this. You know, those round white things that supposedly come out of my butt? Yup, he’s gonna find a few of those smooshed up on his windows one of these days.
“Here.”
One of the ladies handed me a spoon. “The chicken serves the chicken soup special.”
“Um, that doesn’t work out, actually,” I began, but no one was listening to me. The caf’s double-doors had just opened and a mass of hungry teenage bodies was pouring in. Oh, boy. Lunchtime.
The only thing I could be grateful for was the fact that the suit had a headpiece. People pointed and laughed, but at least they didn’t know it was me. I sullenly slopped soup into people’s bowls, spraying one of the jocks who found my suit way too amusing than he should have. I think he now has respect for the cafeteria ladies.
Half an hour passed and I was starting to get edgy, not to mention sweaty. Finally, after the initial wave of people was over, I spotted my target.
Ellen stalked into the cafeteria looking livid. She scanned the mass of people eating there, ignoring their laughter and gleeful whispers, looking for someone. Me, I presume.
Not finding me, she stalked over to the line flanked by several Leaguers, cutting through people as usual, glowering even more fiercely than normal. For once, this didn’t have any effect on anyone. The posters had done their work well.
Early this morning (for once I had gotten up without my uncle’s efforts), Grace and I had arrived at school to hand out posters. Of course, they were plastered with enlarged photos of Ellen’s ‘before and after’ pictures as well as some juicy details at the bottom – like the cost and location. I had cleverly, if a bit cheesily, labeled it ‘Is this Ellen McAllister? Who 'Nose' Anymore!”
The posters were all over the school.
“Oh God,” Ellen’s hard voice cut in, pulling me away from my satisfying reminiscing, “Do these people have no dignity? Really? A chicken suit?”
She was under the impression that I was just another cafeteria worker. Goes to show how many enemies that girl manages to make on a daily basis.
“Soup?” I asked brightly, from within the depths of the incredibly itchy chicken-head.
“Whatever,” Ellen said haughtily, jerking her bowl towards me. I took it clumsily because of the attached feathery wings and slowly ladled some soup in. When I was sure she wasn’t looking, I emptied a little packet into her soup. Mission accomplished.
Ellen yanked the soup from me, shot me a dirty look, then paid for her food with even less grace. She cut through the crowd and climbed the elevated steps to the glory-booths, still followed by her faithful Leaguers.
I waited and watched while I served the last few people in line, always keeping one chicken eyeball trained up onto the Ivy booths. Sure enough, after a few mouthfuls, it kicked in. I saw Ellen pause, clutch her stomach, then bolt out of the booth. She ran down the steps and out of the cafeteria doors as though her life depended upon it.
I gave her enough time to reach a toilet and get comfortably seated on it before I pressed Jay’s speed dial on my phone. I let it ring three times then hung up. Jay knew what to do.
Five seconds later, the fire alarm went off, spraying the screaming students with water from the ceiling. The panicked mass of humanity stampeded towards the exit, pushing to get out first. I took advantage of the commotion to duck underneath the serving table and to shrug out of the suit. Then I joined the crowd in its way outside.
I met up with Jeremy and Jay a few minutes later. “Good job, guys!” I said, beaming. “The timing was perfect!”
They beamed back at me.
Grace joined us and then, Alice came up, too.
“Um, I wouldn’t ask you this unless it was really important, Courtney,” she said, flushing uncomfortably and looking down. “But do you know where Ellen is?”
“Oh, probably on some toilet, pooing her innards out, unable to leave, while she gets drenched by the sprinklers on top of her stall.”
Alice’s eyes went wide, then she nodded, thanked me and left.
“You’re welcome!” I called cheerfully after her.
“What did you put in her food?” Jeremy asked, grinning.
“Laxatives,” I answered, as though it was the most natural thing in the world for a chicken suit-wearing offender to empty suspicious packets into divas’ lunches.
“Nice,” Jay said appreciatively. “Incriminating posters, laxatives, and a fire alarm all in one day. Revenge is sweet, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
“Uh oh,” Grace said, nudging me. “Look who’s coming.”
On one side, Jake was making his way towards our group. On the other side, Nate was trying to get closer, looking worried and as though he had something important to say. In the middle, making a bouncing beeline for me, was the Principal, Mr. P.
This was going to be interesting.