Cornwall, England
Jennie POV
England was an excellent choice to disappear to, I mused.
I've been staying in this secluded part of England for six year now since I left Seoul. I tried to keep low profile by keeping to myself,only going out to the nearest village if necessary.
To keep human contact to a minimum, I had to arranged for mg supplies to be delivered at my doorstep and paid for my necessities in cash.
On my first month of staying in England, I was sad and lonely. I missed Lisa so much and not seeing her was killing me. I always keep myself busy to overcome my loneliness. And because my hobby is painting, I try to release everything I feel to all my paintings.
As I approached my sixth month, my pregnancy became obvious. From the outset, I must've looked like a struggling soon-to-be single mom. The few villagers whom I met took my presence at face value. They didn't pry and kept their distance. I don't trust people at hand, specially that I'm alone in foreign in this country.
A fee months passed before I felt secure enough to lower my guard a bit, venturing to the village once a week to see the village doctor for my pre-natak check ups.
During my last visit,my doctor cautioned me to take extra care of my health. "Your pressure is a bit up, my dear." Dr. Collins remarked after checking my vitals. I was visibly alarmed when I heard her, but the doctor tried to pacify my fears right away.
"It's gestational hypertension. Sometimes it happens to women who are in the latter stage of their pregnancy."
"Will it affect my babies?" I anxiously asked.
The lady doctor gave me a direct look. "Normally, gestational hypertension will not cause problems for your baby when managed and treated promptly. What we need to do is monitor your blood pressure constantly so that it does not turn to pregnancy-induced hypertension."
"Isn't that... eclampsia?" I said with dread.
"No. But it may lead to that if unchecked. If untreated, it can lead to low birth rate, premature delivery and worse, there is a risk of you and the baby dying."
I turned pale on what I heard.
The doctor quickly allayed my fears. "As I've said, we need to take steps to make sure you and the babies remain healthy."
The doctor continued to explain what foods to eat and what to avoid and prescribed me with new vitamins and supplements.
Since then, I've been extra careful with what I ate. I cut my sugar intake, so I only indulged in my food cravings every two weeks. I have to make sure the babies safe, that I will deliver them healthy. I have to and I need to... if only for Lisa.
I stop reminiscing when I already reached my destination. I dropped by in my favorite coffee shop to buy some pastries.
"Here you go, missus." The coffeeshop attendant handed me the éclairs I bought while smiling sweetly.
"Thanks." I responded while giving her the payment.
"You want any hot beverage to go with that?" She asked.
"Uhm... thank you, but no." I declined, still smiling as I turned to leave, walking towards my car parked just outside the shop.
I turned on the engine and started to maneuver my car. I'm on my way to Robin's Nest, I've been living on that cottage for the passed six years.
The cottage was originally a 19th century granite barn. It was converted and restored by it's former owner, a reclusive local artist, who sold the property to me.
I fell in love with it immediately when I saw the pictures of the cottage over the internet. It was detached from the main property and tucked behind tall iron gates and hedgerows. Best of all it had a four-acre private, landscaped garden that featured a terraced lawn, perennial flowers, exotic plants and shade trees. Perfect for a nature junkie like me and the fresh air was good for my kids too.
Fifteen minutes later, I carefully parked the small car in the gravel-lined, secluded drive way. As I entered the cottage, I was greeted by the warmth of the house, courtesy of the storage heater. Though small, the cottage had enough modern provisions to make every day living comfortable; flat screen Tv,DVD player, microwave, electric oven and even internet access.
I entered the dining area and poured myself a glass of milk before I carefully sitting on the small dining table to enjoy the pastries I bought. It's too late to have a real dinner, and I also don't have appetite to eat so it's better for me to munch this bread. I felt exhausted, I don't know if it's the long drive or my work in the gallery.
I am a co-owner of Serendipity's, an art gallery located in the middle of London. Most of the painting that displayed on the gallery are my work. They're all up for grabs, for whoever wants to buy it on a reasonable price.
Everyday there are so many are collectors visiting Serendipity's, and being the manager I am in charge of assisting them, answering all their questions about the artists and handling all the transactions if someone decide to buy one. I am alone managing the shop because my business partner is pregnant and ger doctor advice her to take a rest.
I was taking my time drinking my milk when I felt someone gently tap my shoulders.
I looked and smiled at her.
"How's your day?" It was my Mom who asked while carefully pulling a chair and sat beside me.
"Same old, same old." I slightly shrugged my shoulders.
"You look tired." Worriedness in her eyes.
"I'm okay Mom. How's the kids?"
"On their room, they fell asleep while waiting for you."
"We have so many customer's today that's why we closed late." I answered her while fixing the plates I used.
My Mom is just staring at me, observing every movement. I can feel that she want to say something to me.
"Mom, you wanted to say something? Is there a problem?"
She sighed before answering me.
"I missed your Dad."
"Okay, I don't see any problem with that. You can always go back to Seoul, I will not force you to stay here."
"And who will take care of my grandchildren while I'm not here? Someone, that you don't even know if they are treating them right?" Her voice raised and stood up on the chair.
"Mom,geez will you relax?" I chuckled.
Such a protective grandmother.
"I am relax. I just don't want some random people taking care of my grandchildren. When you are a baby I'm the one who took care of you not a maid."
I rolled my eyes.
Here we go again.
"Mom, it's because I'm working for a living."
"That you don't need if you just go back in Korea."
"That's what I thought." I said, exasperated. "Here we go again."
"Jennie--"
"Mom, you know the reason why I can't go back. How many times should we talked about this."
"Okay, if you don't want to go back in Korea. I will just take my grandchildren with me."
"No! You can't do that. I will not allow you." I quickly refused her idea.
"But sweetie, it's just a vacation. Just a few weeks. I'm sure you're Dad will be ecstatic."
I shook my head.
"Mommy, you don't know what your talking about."
"Sweetheart---"
"You're asking for trouble, Mom!" I was horrified.
"Jennie, sweetie, I think no one will think about your relationship with the kids."
"Mom, are you kidding me? You know Ella looks exactly like me. And Leo, yeah, maybe he's nothing like me but if you look closer you'll know instantly where he got his looks, his eyes alone says it all. So please Mom, forget about your idea bringing them in Korea. If you want to go back in Seoul fine, but my kids stay here... with me... because I'm their mother" I said firmly.
Sadness was shown in my Mom's eyes. I felt guilty but I know I'm just doing what I think is best for me and my kids.
"Jennie, until when you will hide them. It's been siex years. She have the right to know because they are also her children and not only that, you're depriving your kids to have a family."
"Mom, we are already a family. And beside Kai is already here--"
"But Kai is not their father!"
"And so is Lisa!"
"Whatever you want to called it, you still can't deny the fact that her and the twins are blood related. Jennie, why are you still scared to tell to your wife that the twins are alive?"
Wife
I haven't heard that word since forever. I thought that I don't even know the meaning of that word anymore.
"Mom, you know Lisa and you know what she's capable of. I know she will not forgive me because I lied to her. And once she found out that the twins are alive, I know she will get mad at me. And worst, she might even file for custody and that I don't want to happen. In time.. I know she will forget about me.. about us. You don't know maybe now she already moved on...and she already have..." I can't even utter the words. Because I can't even imagine her being inlove with someone else, because I'm still hoping that I'm still the one who owns her heart. But it was too selfish to still hope for that. The mistake that I did from the past still haunting ne until now.
"Jennie, there's no secrets that you can hide forever. Specially that you don't keep this secret to your kids. What if they are the one who look for Lisa? What will you do?" Mom intently looked at me, as if reading what's inside me.
"I don't know Mom, I guess I'll just cross the bridge when I get there.And I hope you support me on that."
"Jennie, you know that your Dad and me are always supporting your decisions. We are your parents, and we are worried about you when we are seeing you suffering." Mom's voice was so gentle that I suddenly wanted to weep.
I gently smiled and took my old woman's hand.
"Mom, I'm a big girl now. I can do this on my own. You don't have to worry about me." I look at Mom with assurance in my eyes.
"I hope so sweetie..And please fix your problem first to your wife before entering a serious relationship with someone. In case you forgot, you're still a married woman. We didn't raise you to be promiscuous." After that my Mom left me and went to her bedroom.
I know Mom was against my blossoming affair with Kai, thought she didn't tell me directly but she always reminding me about me being responsible in my actions.
The truth is I don't want to have a relationship, I'm not ready yet. But Kai was persistent, he persued me though I told him a lot of times that I can't live him back and I can see him as a friend. He's my childhood friend way back in Kim Ranch and I'm comfortable with him aroud that's why I allow him to visit me when we cross our path while I'm walking in some street in London. He said he resigned in the Ranch and decided to work abroad. He graduated college back in Korea so he is now working in pharmaceutical company here in London. He's with me all throughout my pregnancy until I gave birth to the twins.
I don't know if I saw his sincerity or the love his giving to my kids that's why I accepted his love. And right now I'm trying my best to love him back, though it's really hard because my heart only want one person.
It's been a year since our relationship became official. And I don't know how many times I refused him when he ask me to marry him.
I think Mom was right afterall, I need to settle things first. So, I will work on my divorce paper and will make sure that everything's settled before Kai and I take our relationship to the next level.
***
Mommy Jen and The twins 👇👇👇
Ellan Jane Kim Manoban
Ethan Leo Kim Manoban