It was seven in the morning when I woke up, walking to the toilet to have my morning shower. I knew it was Saturday and I was supposed to stay in bed. Usually I would wake up around nine on weekends but there was an exception.
I got under the shower, cleaning myself as my mind was thinking about Melissa. She would come back to school on Monday since her two weeks of suspension was already over. I was so happy that I wouldn't need to be alone at school anymore. It wasn't that I had no one there because Jennie had been my companion since Melissa wasn't around actually. But what I meant by alone was, I felt so empty without Melissa even though Jennie and her pack were there for me.
Because Lisa was still my very best and only companion. Period.
I exited the shower and got myself ready. Melissa would take me for an event at the city centre, with my mum's permission of course. It was an event for Melissa Foundation under Maas Corps that her father forced her to involve in just for the public image. It was her first time attending such event and she was so nervous, especially when that charity foundation was built under her name.
It was also the first time Melissa Foundation would channel its charity money to more than 20 orphanage homes and to plant the history of where it started. It would always be a very famous story of a younger Melissa; the one with a heart of gold that was behind it.
She asked me if I would be comfortable to accompany her to the event. She didn't have to do anything much anyway since her father was the one who would give a speech and hand in those mocked up cheques to the representatives on stage, officially. She would just need to sit at a round table and socialise with people around, again, just for a public display of course.
But Melissa wasn't that kind of person. She wasn't a talker. Even with the people she was close with; me for example, she would only talk when she needed and wanted to. It was depended on her mood that day. So that was why Melissa asked for my help to follow and sit beside her at the table. She wouldn't want to feel awkward or anything similar during the event.
I denied it at first actually just to see her reaction towards it and also because I didn't have an appropriate outfit to wear for such big event. I was just a regular fifteen year old girl, unlike Melissa, she had her own stylist who chose and decided what she would wear. I even teased her about not going and she tried so hard to convince me until to an extent where she demanded her stylist to pick an outfit for me as well.
She was so cute when she wanted something from me. Melissa would put full effort in convincing, and it wasn't like I needed it. Honestly, I wasn't that kind of Elite girls who were very hard to please. She could've just asked me and I would say yes, definitely. There was nothing I wouldn't do for her. But I played it hard just because I wanted her to talk to me more. I wanted her to keep bugging me until I got satisfied of having her all over me.
That was my only ego I had with her. Sometimes I thought if I had became possessive. I wanted her to talk to me always. I wanted her attention on me. I wanted her to touch me always whenever she pleased even though I would act like I disapproved it especially if we were at school. I even had started to think if she ever had her eyes on other girls, or talk casually to one behind my back. It could be nothing but I would still feel the jealousy building up inside me.
I guessed that was what came along with love. Love wasn't just all beautiful things and butterflies. If one dared enough to play and possess love, then one should know how to deal with heartbreak and bottles of vodka that had pain sticker on them. One should expect to get drunk and hangover, and headache and drink again the next day.
As what I learned in my literature class; everyone will hurt you. Everyone. I just had to pick one who was pain worthy and I already found one. She was my one and only Melissa Maas. She would definitely, certainly, surely, absolutely, undeniably be worth it.
I put my daily clothes on me since I would go down for breakfast first. I didn't want to ruin the yellow dress Melissa got for me to wear to the event that could probably has the same price tag as my dad's car. I could be clumsy while eating sometimes, or maybe not only while eating. I was clumsy all the time but I already knew that for good not to mess up with important stuff.
I went down the stairs, heading towards the kitchen. The TV was turned on as usual since I could hear the noises it made. Mum would always watch the morning news channel while preparing breakfast.
"Good morning, mum!" I greeted her as usual, but not my tone. It was a little bit high pitched since I was so excited for my plan with Melissa.
"Good morning, Rosé"
Mum greeted me back but she sounded different. There was tiredness in her voice and I heard dad's right after, almost the same time with mum.
"Dad?" I called for him. His voice was slightly far and I knew he was sitting on the sofa, in front of the TV. "You are home? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
I let out my confusion, frowning. Dad would usually leave as early as 4 in the morning for preparation and cooking breakfast for The Maas. Also, it was Saturday and it was definitely not his day off.
"I was," He answered shortly.
"Then? What happened?"
"I came back home"
I sighed because of his response, getting annoyed with it. What's with the short replies? I shrugged as I reached for the cutlery. I really didn't want to get mad at him since it was still early in the morning. I didn't want to push him either even though I was very curious.
The kitchen was quite too. There was no interaction between mum and dad. Everybody was just silent and I put down my cutlery back on the table since I knew something was wrong. How could I have my breakfast when I felt the intensity of the atmosphere at that time? Did mum and dad fight again? That was the only thing that crossed my mind.
The TV noise gone louder all of the sudden and I thought dad must have put the volume up with the intention of killing the silence. But I was wrong.
"...our deepest condolences to The Maas family for their sudden loss, Madam Lara Maas who passed away in her residency this morning around 5:30, suspected to a heart failure..."
My heart dropped into a deep black ocean, feeling like someone just punched me in the chest as it thumped from within.
"...taken to the hospital for post mortem and-"
The sound of the TV had became indistinct to my ears even though the volume was still loud as I was pulled into my own world; a world where Melissa and I lived in. The thoughts of what dad had told me; how much Madam Maas meant to her, played again at the back of my head in sequence.
Melissa didn't always tell me about her mother. She wasn't comfortable talking about her family, except about her brother, Leon. She used to tell me stupid things she did with him and her mother would never get mad at them. She only told me good things and good memories she had only. There were times when her family secret almost spilled out from her mouth that her mother wasn't well. So I guessed it was confirmed now that her mother had a heart disease.
I didn't know Madam Maas personally either. I used to only see her when I still had my eyesight during Christmas celebration for employees at the big house every year. We never even talked before. She was a quiet person as far as I remembered her, almost the same like Melissa when I thought about it back. Melissa resembled her mother so much in terms of speech and social interaction.
Madam Maas also had stopped attending any business or public event with her husband since long time ago as what mum told me. She really isolated herself from the crowd or from the world even, but I was still sad when she passed even though we weren't close. I felt sad because she was Melissa's mother. I felt sad because Melissa had lost someone she really loved. I felt sad because I couldn't imagine how broken she was feeling right now.
Losing someone who gave birth to you as the nature of a child who was emotionally fond to the mother; unbearable.
I got up from the seat, walking towards the living room as soon as my brain triggered me that I had someone close to me who was in grief as well; my father.
Siting beside him, I scooted closer until I felt his body against mine.
"Dad..." I called as I brought my hands to him, wrapping them around his neck. He responded by hugging me back, squeezing a little after he gave me a peck on the left side of my head. "I'm sorry-"
"She was a kind person, Rosé"
"I'm sure she was, dad" I stroked his back, giving him the comfort and assurance like Melissa always gave to me.
"She never yelled or got mad at us all, ever" There was a deep sorrow in dad's voice as his voice trembled, forming tears in my eyes as he spoke. "She was so polite to her staffs"
"I'm sorry..."
I kept hugging him because I knew he needed it. He had been working for that family for more than 20 years, and I was certain he must have been very close to Madam Maas just like he was close to her children. But dad's breathing was getting heavier and it only took few seconds more until he cried on me.
"Dad?" I called him when he started to sob. I was getting panicked since I never seen him like that. I never seen or heard him cry in my whole life. "Dad, it's okay..." I tightened my hug around him, closing my eyes as I buried my face into the crook of his neck.
I didn't know what I could do for him. It was my first time having dad crying in front of me, and it was a heavy one. But the pity was on me when my worries multiplied, hearing dad's next words in whisper.
"It's not a heart failure,"
I pushed his body to part the hug, hands reaching for his face instead and I grasped it strongly.
"What are you talking about, dad?"
I began to question what he just told me as I heard mum's footsteps approaching.
"Dad, tell me. What do you mean it's not a heart failure?" I asked him again since I didn't get any response from him.
I felt another pressure on the sofa, knowing that it was mum who just sat behind me to join us. Dad was crying as he struggled to speak and my curiosity had grew worse second by second. I suspected something bad must have happened at the big house and if Madam Maas passed at 5:30am, dad was surely there at that time.
"Dad, what happened actually?" I asked softly this time with a much calmer tone, hoping it would ease and help him speak while I wiped the tears off his cheeks.
"It-it is a suicide, Rosé"
My fingers stopped when another thump hit my chest.
Dad was fighting his own sobs to breathe, sniffling so many times. "She drowned herself in the bathtub,"
I had gone speechless. I didn't know how or what to give as a response. My chest was packed with the worst news I had ever received in my life.
"And Melissa-" He continued his sentence, pronouncing a name that made my eyes go wider.
"What happened to Lisa, dad?!"
I was in a complete terror now as my voice went louder automatically. And mum's voice entered my eardrums from behind to ease dad.
Dad shook his head voluntarily to express his emotions, causing me to move my hands from his face and bring them down to his shoulders instead. He probably had told mum earlier, and that might be the reason why they were so quiet. But he broke down when he had to repeat it again to me since I was the one who understood his heart; full of fatherly love and care so for Melissa. To be honest, sometimes I felt like he loved Melissa more than he loved me but I wouldn't complain about that.
Melissa deserved every love she could get in this world.
"Dad?" I begged for his voice. "What about Lisa?" The fear shook me, feeling scared to hear the answer from him.
"Lisa, she-" Dad stuttered to finish his sentence in between sobs. "-she is the one who found her"
Another hit surprised me as my chest was getting heavier.
Dad continued to tell me the details as tears finally fell on my cheeks. My father only told me good things about Melissa; how amazing and kind she was, probably how he remembered her in his memory, in his heart. But this time his tongue was forced to talk about what he saw on the toilet floor at the big house; Melissa had her mother on her lap, and the woman was no longer breathing. So I pulled dad into a tight hug, crying along with him against his neck when I knew he was struggling to speak. My heart ached so much, imagining the kind of pain Melissa was enduring at that time. And to make it even worse, I couldn't even think of the trauma she had to experience as a fifteen year old girl. She was such a kind hearted person with beautiful manners, but she was served with undeserving punishments.
When dad got himself strong again, he began to tell me everything that had been happening in the big house. Melissa's mother was mentally illed. She was diagnosed with major depression when Melissa was 11, which explained about how quiet and a closed person Madam Maas was.
Just to add to the misery even more, Melissa's father didn't even care about it. He just paid a psychiatrist to do the job for him since that was his nature anyway; paying people to do things for him. Building a business empire was the most important thing to his interests.
So that left Melissa on her own. I understood now why dad once told me that Melissa was the lady of the house. She made all the decisions by herself because her mother wouldn't. She had to wake up in the morning to go to school, then going for those extra classes his father enrolled her into for the whole afternoon until evening. And she would still give her attention to her little brother who was just 13, and later spend time in her mother's room, or even sleep in together since her parents lived in separate rooms.
Dad was so certain that Melissa was the only reason why Madam Maas survived this long. It was because Melissa really cared for her mother when it was supposed to be the other way around. It was only her who gave attention and care to Madam Maas no matter how tiring it was. If Melissa wasn't there for her mum or acted differently, being rebellious like a fifteen year old would due to lack of attention from parents, dad guessed Madam Maas would have killed herself sooner.
But she wasn't that kind of teenager. She did her very best to help her mother, hoping to cure her despite of having a very busy schedule. Her day was packed and hectic, yey she made time for her education, family, and me. She would ignore me sometimes but not even once she ever made me feel neglected. She would always find a way to make it up to me; cracking jokes with sexual teases during lunch and caring for me over the phone at nine every night.
Melissa was just a girl who was full of love and dedication. She was a magnificent girl who had people like me, my dad, and Jongnam to give out heaven to her in the war she was fighting, but God kept giving her hell.
I didn't know what else I could do to help. I didn't know how to reach out to Melissa too. It was because she had stopped calling me. She hadn't came to school for almost two weeks now even though her suspension time had ended. I did ask dad to call Jongnam since he was the one who would always be with Melissa. I asked to speak to her through the phone but I didn't get any response on the line. She didn't even entertain the idea of talking to me.
As for dad, he didn't go to work for two weeks as well. He hadn't seen Melissa at all after Madam Maas's funeral service.
Because he got fired.
I wouldn't want to remember how my heart ached for what Melissa's father did to my dad. That man actually fired him, a loyal staff who had served for his family for more than two decades by forcing dad to go. He didn't want Melissa to get more mad at him for firing her favourite chef, so he asked my father to resign instead. Sir Maas was indeed a smart man with a brain like a prick.
Dad on the other hand refused to do anything about it. He was being considerate not to give Melissa even more pressure. The girl already had enough. Therefore, Sir Maas asked dad and I to stay away from Melissa since she was recovering. That was the word I remembered the most; recovering. That was the word that made my dad go silent. He was giving time and space to for Melissa to get better, and he suggested me to do the same as well, which I unwillingly agreed on.
Because in my thoughts, the more someone needed help, the more you had to be with her. It was the same like what Melissa did to her late mother. She didn't leave and give Madam Maas space because that wasn't how it worked.
So when it was her turn, why must we be silent about it? Why did we need to give her time and space for 'recovering' while in this dimensional form of space and time, Melissa needed help the most?
That was just nonsense reason Sir Maas created to isolate his main heir from distraction. Yes, that was what he told my dad about me. I was just a distraction to Melissa.
The thing about my dad's so called resignation, he was jobless for two weeks now. He had been out for interviews, mostly at five star hotels, but not even one responded back to him. And it was just two months away until new year hit the calendar, which meant school would end too. The bad news was Sir Maas would no longer funding my school fees, so I would need to study at regular school.
What dad told me months ago came again on replay to my brain; don't ever get personal with The Maas. But he always did anyway since he had been calling Jongnam every single day just to ask how Melissa was doing, because that man was one of the staffs who didn't get fired. I guessed Sir Maas didn't address him as a distraction, so he kept him around.
Since Melissa had been shutting me off for fourteen days now, refusing to talk and didn't come to school, I guessed my dad was right. She wasn't a friend for me to keep, and there was nothing I could do about it.
My heart bled in the agony I never felt before. It was so painful to even think that I had lost my Melissa as it resembled how swollen my eyes were, crying for her in an absolute mess and putting my mum in a serious worry.
Dad was right in everything, I did get hurt.
That was the shit I got for going personal.
I miss her chubby cheeks 😭