PLAYING on HEADPHONES:
"Hot dive into frozen waves
Where the past comes back to life
If I fear for the selfish pain
It was worth it every time
Hold still right before we crash
Cause we both know how this ends
A clock ticks 'till it breaks your glass
And I drown in you again"
(So dramatic.) Why do composers feel like compare love to the sea?
"Cause you are the piece of me
I wish I didn't need"
(Is she singing about love or about giving up on the diet?)
"Chasing relentlessly
Still fight and I don't know why
If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"
(What did I just say? Rsrsrs so dramatic ...
But ... wait!)
"Cause you are the piece of me
I wish I didn't need"
(Am I really remembering it? It can't be real.
What do you have today, Phiravich?)
In fact, I remember the pie and how N'Boom "ate" the cooker with his eyes. If was just that moment of "challenge", it would be all right. But...
I had never seen anyone look at Phi with such depths of the ocean gaze.
I'm not crazy, I'm not losing my mind. I'm sure that from Thursday afternoon, N'Boom rummaged through the hall in a way he had not done before. Always finishing landing the radar when finding Phi, which is not "Pro" in noticing when eagle eyes roam around.
I was not trying to find reason to think or imagine. On Friday, the confirmation came in the only moment I left my friends. When I came back from the bathroom, there he was. "Devouring" the boy. Encouraged by P'Manasaporn.
What the fuck was that?
How could he simply not realize that the boy was trying to seduce in the least subtle way that someone might try to seduce someone?
Is he very innocent or very stupid?
Which, in fact, makes no difference.
Why did he allow me to praise his "fairy hands" without mocking me, two weeks ago?
It would have been the perfect opportunity to show off. But no ... as always, the only thing I know for certain about him is that I can never be sure what attitude he will have. This weekend, he was not online or in the game. Maybe was busy ... cooking?
DAMN! Why am I thinking about it?
But ... busy as soon as those eyes landed on him?
The eagle eyes? The eyes that today in the first period made a point of facing a little more, and a little more ... Regardless of the fact that his partner is next.
Not that N 'Peak is a hindrance, in case he's spreading his charm around and ...
"If you have low blood pressure again, it's dangerous to faint here!"
As if guessing that was what I was thinking about, Phi appears on the balcony.
I'm bent over watching the movement downstairs, as it had not been for a long time. He is smiling at his own comment, typical. Approaching, leaving only half a meter between us, leaning there as well.
-You look very weird. Have ya forgotten which muscles to use to smile?
That simple question trickled the sides of my cheeks like a ventriloquist moves the doll. And now, automatically, I'm laughing.
-Ohhhm.
He murmurs doing the typical beak.
-That's better. I do not wanna think that Phi is not taking care of his Nong, even though he's a NOOB -I can see that he struggles to laugh at our inner joke, less funny today.
Maybe he's tired. But I do not avoid smiling. Speaking about ourselves as third person is a common way in our language. Still, it sounds differentiated and ... (?) Cute (?) When it is he who speaks.
"Besides being your freshman who plays poorly and has low pressure, what else am I?"
I ask, looking directly at him. Okay, I do not know where this came from. I wish I could delete it.
He looks away, faces the horizon. Seriously, all of a sudden.
What? Does not he want to respond? Such a stupid joke and he does not know how to fight back? Now I'd really like to delete.
"Phi wants to see healthy Nong?" -I change the focus with an equally stupid question. Now it can't get any worse, so ... fuck it. He turns, curious. -"Then offer a slice of the salty pie that Phi cooks with her" fairy "hands," -I do pick.
He smiles, (?) Ashamed (?)
"I ... I ... I'm sorry, Nong ..." he nods, sincerely. "There is not any left."
-You always bring 4 slices and only eat one. Unless you're on drugs, your appetite has not grown so much -We laugh.
-You came here to "jump" from the balcony. You never came back. P'Manasaporn ate one and N 'Krittapak two. Excuse me. But ya did not ask me to keep yours.
At that moment I really preferred not to open my big mouth.
To hear that N'Krittapak devoured two "slices" of MY PHI is an outrage. I do not know if my expression shows my disgust. I feel angry and I have no right to be.
Mainly by calling him by name and not by nickname. In two days, N'Boom seems to have advanced more miles than I did in a month. And Am I in a competition???
-Hey, Nong! -Again HE reminds me of daydreams. "Are not you going to fight me?"
(what? Why does he think I would fight him? or .... for HIM?)
-No. -I say dryly. -"Did you insult me without my noticing?"
(If he could read my mind now he would know that I mean that he fed another boy with "my" pie.) But all this observation is pathetically pathetic, he does not owe me any "piece of him.", and he's not mine to enjoy the delights he prepares. I think all my daydreaming is making me seasick, literally)
"I'll bring more tomorrow. I'm thinking of swapping the chicken for tuna. Do you like?
(hell, why does he act so helpful when I'm feeling angry?)
"Cause you are the piece of me
Which I wish I didn't need "
"Because you're the slice ... I wish I did not want to"
"Slice ... wish ... slice of tuna pie ...
slice of Phi Rath's pie ... BUT WHAT FUCK, SHUT THE MIND, PHIRAVICH!"
Before I can put the wishes, rages, and sour jealousies in order, P'Andy signals to return from the interval.