Two days of following her usual routine helped Kate to calm down considerably.
When she picked up Rose's letter again the first thing she noted was that Rose's scent had grown fainter. Even so, it seemed like it would be lingering a while longer. Again, the scent brought back memories. Good and bad one. Joy and desperation. Her touch. Her smile. The clack of her heels that eventually had caused Kate's stomach to churn in anxiety.
The calm of those two days was rapidly dissipating in the face of the rush of memories. It was less intense than two days ago, sure, but that didn't mean it had calmed down to the point where she easily could get a handle on herself.
She returned the letter into its envelope and laid down on her couch. Gaze fixed at the ceiling she tried to make sense of her thoughts and determine what emotion she felt more strongly. More memories returned as she tried to dig deeper, and she forced herself to stop and take some deep breaths. She found herself wondering what could have been. What could be. On the other hand, the potential fall still terrified her.
Once again, she was in need of advice. But this time there was a person who knew the full story, who she didn't have to lie to or keep secrets from. She gave a wave of her hand and her cellphone floated over to her. Then she called Mari.
Mari promptly picked up. "Oh, Kate! Hey. What's this about?"
"Do you have some time to chat?" Kate asked. "I... I got a letter from Rose."
"From Rose? What was in it?"
Kate heard the volume of Mari's voice increase. Probably had moved closer to her phone, she reasoned. It was hard to fault her for being curious about the situation.
"It was an apology." Kate sighed and paused for a moment. "She also wrote that she actually had feelings for me and wasn't just dating me because of the magic. That she wished things had ended differently."
"Kate! That's practically a confession," Mari almost shouted. "She's still into you!"
Kate held the phone away from her air until Mari had calmed down. "I know. I'm just not sure if it's a good idea, or if I even feel that way about her anymore."
"Sorry, but I can't answer that question for you," Mari said. "What I can say is that you've got this one life. You could give this a try. You could keep dating people a few times only to push them away in the end. Or you could give up the stress of dating altogether. Single life isn't too bad. It's your choice."
"I've considered that part already. It's just," Kate trailed off and hesitated. Mari patiently waited for the rest of her response. Eventually, Kate continued. "I think I still feel for her, but what if it's only a short-lived infatuation? Not to mention I would either have to keep hiding my magic or reveal my secret."
"This is going to sound cliched, but," Mari drew a breath. "Follow your heart. Think about what would happen if you accepted, and if you never responded to her. Maybe that'll help you figure out how you actually feel about it. Worst case scenario, you give it a shot, decide you didn't work out after all, and break up. In the event that you part on bad terms, well," Mari hesitated for a moment. "I know it's not exactly the most ethical thing to do, but I might have a recipe or two for that type of scenario."
"Something like that exists?" Kate's eyes went wide. "Don't tell me, you used it on Bron?"
A heavy sigh came from Mari's end. "Yeah. He actually found out at some point. I chickened out and went for the easy option. Was it fair to him? I still don't know. Please don't think I did that for fun, I was scared out of my mind."
It was a tricky situation. "I suppose you might view it a a form of self-defense," Kate offered after a moment of pondering.
"Fair enough," Mari said. "But in a similar vein, I'm not going to help you with that unless it's the only way out. You might call me a hypocrite for asking more of you than I did of myself, but I don't know if I'd be able to make that same choice as the person I'm today."
Kate found herself nodding silently, not that Mari would be able to tell from the other end. "Everyone grows. If you wanted to make it up to-"
"Anyway," Mari cut in. "This isn't advice time for me. I'd say you know enough about Rose by now to make a solid guess about how things might turn out down the road. Use that, and consider what you want out of life. Not to mention, there's always the option of dating her a few more times to scope things out and break it off if you don't like what you're seeing."
"I guess you're right." Kate laughed awkwardly. She hadn't expected Mari to tell her something so personal. Not to mention the fact that there existed a way out if the worst scenario did indeed turn into reality. It was reassuring, but on the other hand she didn't know if she'd want to tamper with Rose in such a manner. Mari hadn't mentioned anything about risks, but Kate assumed that magic of that caliber would carry some.
"Kate? Are you still there?"
Kate realized that she had gone silent for a prolonged time. "Sorry, I was just thinking. I think I'll do that. Thanks for hearing me out."
"Always a pleasure," Mari responded. "And remember, sometimes you've got to take a chance."
Kate could practically hear the grin in her voice. She magicked her phone back to its usual resting spot, then she picked up the letter once more. Mari was right. Responding to Rose didn't have to mean completely committing. In fact, they both probably needed some time to learn to get past the relatively shallow stage of infatuation and get know the other better. She inhaled the scent and thought of Rose.
If she didn't give this a try, she would surely regret it in the future. She magicked her phone back over and called Rose. Her heart beat quickly as she waited for Rose to pick up, but instead of Rose she reached the answering machine. Typical, now that she actually wanted to talk directly to Rose she wasn't available. She sighed and put the phone down. It would have to wait, but she already knew that the time would pass extremely slowly.
Kate tried again later in the day, but still received no response. In the end she forced herself to go to sleep. She didn't want to, but she had to be rested for the next day.