My heart was beating furiously as my gaze wandered over the field's stands. When I was used to seeing them empty and only a few seats occupied with my teammate's bags, they were now filled with family members and friends who were all waiting impatiently for the game to start.
They were cheering while all I wanted to do was find a dark corner and cry my guts out.
"Excited for the big game?" Gene asked as he suddenly appeared next to me. Trevor stood right next to him, as usual.
It wasn't hard to get that they were best friends. I had gotten used to seeing Gene walking around alone in the hallways at first, but now it was a rare occasion to spot him without Trevor at his side. They were inseparable, really.
I wondered if Gene knew about the Trevor thing.
"I'm fine," I shrugged, trying to hide my nervousness. "It's just new. I've never been on a sports team before."
Gene flashed a smile and pat my back. "I'm sure you'll be great out there," he said reassuringly, his touch warm on my uniform.
"I don't think I ever asked," Trevor chimed in, "where do you come from, Kiri?"
Before I could answer that question Gill was suddenly by my side, slinging her arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer which probably looked pretty weird due to our height difference.
"He comes from the big, scary city," she replied with a smile. "He's not used to us small town people, so be gentle."
Gene raised a brow but Trevor just laughed. "That's funny! I've just been on a trip to London. The city's huge, really. That's also why I only came back this week."
"Interesting," I lied.
"Sounds fancy, and I'm sure you have a shit ton of things to tell me about it, and believe me, I'm literally dying to know all the details, but I'll have to borrow Kiri for a second," Gill said with a forced smile.
She pulled me away from Gene and Trevor, and soon enough we were back at her little friend group. Sam was tying her shoes while Asher was on his phone. When he noticed us, he tossed it back into his bag.
"Trevor's for sure going to give another one of his speeches," Gill mumbled, her brows furrowed. "He always does that."
"He's the best player, it's expected from him." Asher shrugged, then his gaze fell on me. "Excited for the game?" he asked, causing me to roll my eyes.
"Why does everyone keep asking me that? Is it really that obvious?" I replied in annoyance. "No, I'm not excited. I'm close to shitting my pants, and for once it's not because of something I ate."
He smirked a little. "You'll be fine. Just remember what I said."
"Keep my eyes on the ball and don't touch it with my hands," I repeated, my gaze drifting back out to the field. We were in the small hallway in front of the two locker rooms, almost every member of the team gathered and ready to go out. The coach hadn't announced the game's start yet though, so everyone was hyped and impatient.
"Don't trip over any feet," Gill added. "And don't foul others, or you'll get beaten up by the other team."
I glanced at her, my gaze filled with fear. "They do that?"
She shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time."
Asher sighed and pushed her away a little. "Stop talking. Kiri, calm down. Being nervous won't help you now."
"Wow, thanks for saying that. I'm suddenly so calm and relaxed, how did this happen?" I asked in annoyance.
"Kick ass, whimp," Sam said to me. "Metaphorically. Or they'll kick yours. Literally."
The next thing I perceived was the shrill sound of Redmille's whistle, indicating that the game was about to start. My heart froze for a second when everyone suddenly became quiet. Then hell broke loose.
I didn't know who was shouting louder, our own team or the other when we left the hallway. My ears were filled with the audience's cheers as I walked with my teammates, not even realizing where I was going and what was happening.
And suddenly Asher appeared next to me, simply smirking as we walked. And I remembered that I was at the game, an actual football game, my first one ever, and that we had to kick the other team's ass. Metaphorically, not literally, or they'd kick ours. Got it.
We moved to one side of the field where the Coach was already waiting. Once we had reached him we automatically formed a circle, and he bent down a little to be as close to our heads as only possible.
His gaze was serious as it wandered over us. "Before you go out on that field, I want you to do two things," he started, the seriousness of his voice perfectly matching the one in his eyes. "First, I want you to look at yourselves. Because you and only you decide if you will leave your all on that field today. I can't do it for you. Your mom and dad can't either. Only you decide if you give your heart and soul for the cause, or crawl back home as a loser."
He paused to let his words sink in before starting to speak again.
"Secondly, I want you to take a good look at each other. Because the faces you see today, the ones looking back at you, belong to the only people that can make you a winner today."
I looked up and my gaze met Sam's who just narrowed her eyes.
"I don't care if you win or lose the game. Sometimes sport is cruel. But if I see any of you give anything less than a hundred percent, you've lost respect from me, and you should lose it from yourself."
Wow, that wasn't dramatic at all.
The others erupted in cheers that I quickly joined, not wanting to be the one left out. Even though my knees were still buckling I felt stronger surrounded by these people, as if their motivation did somehow take over me as well.
"Let's go!" Redmille shouted.
"Let's go!" everyone on the team repeated.
As we all got into position Trevor jogged around, giving a few encouraging words and patting people on the shoulder. I felt sick and briefly wondered if anyone would notice me running off so I could throw up. I hadn't expected this to be so... big. There were people everywhere, not only on the field but also on the stands, and I knew that somewhere hidden in the crowd was sitting Michael, probably just as nervous as me.
And then the game began.
The other team was dressed in green while our jersey was a shade of bright orange. It was a blur of colors as people started running, all chasing a ball that was recklessly kicked around time after time. I tried to stay focused, to pay attention to the game, but it turned out to be a real challenge.
The ball passed me once or twice before the first half ended, and I managed to kick it towards a teammate before one of the opponents could get to it.
It was different with Asher. Being the skilled player he was he seemed to be in constant possession of the ball, easily dribbling it across the field and managing to move around other players.
That quickly became a problem though, because Asher wouldn't pass the ball.
He was close to making a goal three times, but when trying to shoot a goal got too risky and he was supposed to let another player from our team try, he just kept running. Eventually some opponent managed to get the ball from him before he could actually shoot a goal, what had been predictable right from the beginning.
By the time Redmille and the coach from the other team shouted half time I was a wreck from the psychological stress this whole game caused me.
"I don't want to go out there again," I complained as I joined Asher's group on the bench that had been set up for our team. "Does anyone have a gun to take me out of my misery?"
"I have two hands that could to the job," Sam offered which earned her a firm glance from Gill.
I sighed and took the water bottle someone from the team offered me. As I took a sip, I glanced over at Asher.
He was standing in front of Redmille who was talking quietly to him, but I could see from here that he was pissed. Probably for not passing the ball. Asher had his arms crossed, his gaze fixed on the ground while his expression remained firm. He reminded me of a child being scolded.
"He's going to be the reason we lose today," Gene mumbled, his gaze fixed on Asher as well. Gene was standing not far away, probably not even aware that I could hear him.
I eyed Trevor who was standing next to him. His cheerful smile had vanished as he watched Redmille and Asher, and I wondered what he was thinking about.
Shit, I never wanted to know anything more than what this weird relationship between the two was all about. I even got so curious I momentarily forgot about the game – but that only lasted for a second, because then Redmille sent Asher away and the other team's coach blew his whistle to announce the end of half time.
Asher came over to us to drink from his bottle, his eyes carefully avoiding our gazes.
"Trevor's watching you," Sam mumbled quietly.
"He can watch all he wants," Asher replied, sounding unbothered. "I don't care."
I wanted to ask why he didn't pass the ball, why Trevor was looking at him like this, why everyone was so on edge. But I couldn't since we had to go back out to the field for another 45 minutes of pure torture.
Second half wasn't much different. I tried to stay focused through all the noise that came from the people on the stands, and to keep up with the game.
After about twenty minutes I found myself in a rather convenient position. No players from the other team were near me, the other team's goal was close and Asher, who currently had the ball, was running right towards it.
He wouldn't make it, though. It was obvious to see, there were already two opponents in his way and three others behind them. But it didn't seem as if he would pass the ball.
Everyone was shouting at him. Coach Redmille was the loudest, yet his voice got carried away. Trevor along other teammates were shouting at him to pass, and I found myself doing the same.
He even looked up at me. For a split second his gaze met mine, and he realized there weren't any people in our way so a shot in my direction could hardly go wrong.
But he didn't fucking pass.
I watched as an opponent blocked him and took the ball, quickly running off in the opposite direction. Almost every player on our team let out an exasperated groan before turning their attention back to the game, and Asher ran his hand through his hair without looking at anyone.
Even though my knees had just been weak from nervousness, I was now filled with rage. Asher's behavior was ridiculous. We were a team, we were supposed to play together, so why didn't he fucking do that?
Redmille sent him out on the bench and exchanged him with another player. The game carried on, and we ended up scoring a point just five minutes before second half ended. We won, but it didn't really feel like a success.
Trevor seemed to think the same as me as I caught him looking at Asher with an unreadable expression as we left the pitch. Gene next to him was doing the same, yet his eyes were filled with anger.
"You have to talk to him," he said sternly.
Trevor hesitated and looked away. "He wouldn't listen."
"Fucking make him. You're the best player, you're supposed to talk some sense into him."
My eyes widened in surprise as Trevor grabbed Gene's shoulders, forcing him to stop and pulling him closer.
"I said he wouldn't listen," he said, his voice lowered and filled with anger. "Let it go. It's not your business to deal with."
I followed them into the locker room where everyone was already gathered. Asher was sitting on a bench, absently playing with a water bottle when everyone else was changing out of their jerseys and heading off towards the showers.
"It was a good game, after all," our goalkeeper said, his name being Lukas if I remembered correctly. He eyed Asher. "Even with him going solo and nearly causing us to lose."
"Pull that shit again and we'll see how many people are willing to take your position on the team," a boy next to him said.
"Shut up, Dan," Trevor replied. "Let's just enjoy our goal for now and handle the rest later."
That earned him a stern look from Dan and Lukas, but got them to shut up. Asher grabbed his bag and disappeared in one of the toilet stalls. Weird, I never thought of him as someone who was embarrassed to change in front of others.
"You weren't so bad today," Trevor said as he appeared next to me. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and he was smiling.
I raised a brow and reached for my clean clothes, already feeling uncomfortable with being topless next to someone like Trevor. Maybe I should have done it like Asher and change in one of the stalls.
"Yeah, because I got the ball like, twice," I replied.
He shook his head and his smile widened. "You did fine. We can work with that." He briefly patted my shoulder before going back to his friends, his touch warm on my naked skin.
I swallowed and quickly hurried off to find an empty shower. Jesus Christ, this boy was attractive.
Once I was clean and in fresh clothes, I shouldered my bag and left the locker room. The pitch was now filled with people, some of them being my teammates and our opponents, most of them having changed out of their uniforms as well now.
People were congratulating us on our win, and I made my way through the crowd in an attempt to find Michael. Maybe he left. Maybe he hadn't even showed up. Both things seemed reasonable, it was hard to tell with him.
When I spotted Gill I decided to pause my search for Michael and go over to her instead. Her brother as well as a man I didn't know where standing next to her, both wearing bright smiles.
"Kiri!" she greeted excitedly, already reaching for my arm and pulling me closer. "You were so good today! I honestly thought you'd freak out and throw up or something, but you actually didn't!"
I raised a brow. "Wow, good to hear such encouraging words."
The man extended his hand to me. He was huge. His wide shoulders only added to his height and made him seem like a blockade made of flesh.
But his smile was friendly and he didn't crush my hand when I shook his.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Tony," he introduced himself.
"Kiri, although you might know that by now," I replied. "You're the dad, I suppose?"
He let out a brief laugh, dark and warm. "I am. That's my son, Caleb."
"We've already met," Caleb said. "Gill gave him cake and sent me away. I'll remember that. Forever."
His sister sighed and linked her arm with mine. "Well, if it easies your conscience, he didn't have any. He ate ice cream instead."
Caleb raised his eyebrows and eyed me. "Wait, he was the one who ate my ice cream?"
But then Gill was already pulling me away, simply waving at her brother while wearing her usual cheerful smile.
"Where are we going?" I asked skeptically. "I think I should look for Michael."
"He's a grown man, he can take care of himself." She waved me off dismissively.
I eyed her from the side, still not convinced. "Well, about that," I said, but she didn't hear me.
We were suddenly joined by Tyler and Sam. Gill let go of me to give Sam a tight hug which the threatening girl surprisingly let happen.
"We won! We're so awesome," Gill stated cheerfully as she let go of her.
"We almost didn't," Sam said. "Where's the dumbass?"
Tyler eyed me. "Right here."
I rolled my eyes as Sam grinned a little. Of course he only opened his mouth to mock me.
"I haven't seen Asher yet," Gill said as she let her gaze wander over the people around us. "Maybe he left. I don't know."
"What's up with this talk about being the best player?" I asked curiously.
Gill was the one to explain. "It's more than just a status to maintain. It's a position, kind of like captain of the team. He's supposed to handle any arguments between players and report them to the Coach if they get out of hand, or motivate us for games, stuff like that."
"It's a shit job to have," Sam grumbled, already back to her usual dark facial expression.
Gill shrugged. "It's just not right for Trevor to be best player."
"Why?" I asked, almost sounding excited. Maybe I would finally get some answers.
But Gill crushed my hopes yet again with another shrug. "It's a long story. Hey, maybe you can be best player one day, Kiri."
I raised a brow. "Yeah, sure. Why not run for president when I'm already at it?"
"Well, I'm off," Sam said, her gaze fixed on something distant. "Catch you later, Gill."
Then she left and I eyed Tyler who didn't look exactly happy about being here. Then again, when did he?
"I never thought you would show up to sport events," I stated. He looked a little surprised that I had talked to him, and shrugged.
"I came for them," he explained with a nod towards Gill.
She smiled and linked her arm with his. "He's the cutest. Well, we're off to find Asher. Probably sulking in his room or something. Have fun celebrating our goal, Kiri!"
Then both of them left and I was on my own again. I sighed, not really looking forward to making my way through the crowd once again. Maybe I should just go back home. If Michael wasn't there yet, he for sure would show up some time.
But then I spotted his messy hair next to a woman with a bright red mane, and a smile tucked at my lips.
I quickly joined them, seeing that Michael's interlocutor was, without a doubt, the woman from the fair. Just what was her name again? Right, Anna.
"Hey," I greeted, almost smiling at the relieved gaze Michael shot me.
"Oh, hi!" Anna replied with a bright smile. "How are you, Kiri? Already adjusted to our small town or still missing the big, exciting city?"
I shrugged. "It's alright. Could be worse, I guess."
She shot me a sympathetic look. "Hm, I believe you. You must miss your friends and family." Yeah, sure.
"Well, I sure don't miss the traffic," I said with a smile.
Anna laughed, a nice, bright sound, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "We were just talking about you, actually."
I eyed Michael suspiciously as his cheeks took on a dark shade of red and tried to keep my smile in place. "You were?"
"Yeah. He was just telling me how glad he is you joined the soccer team," Anna replied. "I'm really happy for you. You must be looking forward to your next game now that you're qualified to come!"
I paled a little at the thought of doing all this again next week, but smiled nevertheless. "Uh, totally. I love soccer so much."
"We should probably go now," Michael said, finally opening his mouth after all. "You must be tired after the game."
Anna's smile fell, and she shot him a surprised look. "Already? I was hoping we could gather for coffee or something. Enjoy the day. Maybe eat dinner. I was going to ask Amelia and Jack if they wanted to come, too."
Michael opened his mouth but no words came out, so I decided to jump in and save him. Just that my version of help looked different than his.
"He'd love to!" I replied with a bright smile. "I'll just go home and take a nap, and you enjoy your day."
"Why don't you come as well?" Anna asked. "If you're not too tired, of course. Amelia has a son that should be your age, maybe he comes too. He'll definitely be there when I mention you."
I hesitated. I really wanted to take that nap. Then again, Michael was probably already pissed at me for throwing him under the bus like that, and I could already picture him being awkward at the table and not knowing what to talk about.
Well, shit.
"Alright," I said with a shrug. "Why don't we agree on dinner for later? I'd really like to rest a little first. That game was exhausting."
Anna nodded. "Of course, yes. But then I'll expect you two to show up with the biggest of appetites!"
I realized that if Anna could cook as well as she looked I might finally get a decent dinner. After all, Michael and I weren't exactly chefs.
"We're looking forward to it. Aren't we, Michael?" I asked, eyeing him.
He quickly nodded. "Absolutely. Thanks for the invitation."
Anna smiled as she told us when to come over and where to go exactly. Then she left, leaving Michael and me behind. I realized I had been left alone enough times today and decided that it was time to go back to Michael's and take that goddamn nap.
It was nearly six, we had to be at Anna's in approximately one hour and my mind was filled with questions nobody wanted to answer. Thankfully Michael didn't talk on the way home, and I was too tired to mind the silence between us.