Anna-Mae
The last two weeks flew by quickly and were uneventful besides school, homework and exams. However, the one thing that was unusual was that I kept receiving a bouquet of flowers—each day a different design but not any less impressive in size. The only thing that had stayed the same was the card with the same repeated message.
"We're running out of room to put these." Liz complained, referring to the fourteen flower bouquets scattered all over our living room and kitchen. Some looked fresh while some were starting to wilt. "Can you tell this Mateo guy to stop sending these and that we got the point...even though you won't tell me why he's sorry."
I can't tell him to stop since I don't have his number and don't know how to reach him.
"Hey. Didn't you say you're going to a party tonight?" I changed the topic.
"Yeah. And it's not I'm going, it's we're going." She corrected me sweetly.
"Lizzzz." I whined.
"Either you go with me or you're gonna have to tell me about Mateo."
"Fine." I pouted. I would rather do anything else than tell her about him.
"Fine, you'll go with me or fine you'll tell me?"
"Fine, I'll go." I said unenthusiastically, with slumped shoulders, I went into my room to get ready.
Thirty minutes later, Liz came into my room to check my progress. She had on a red cropped top and a black fitted skirt, her straight brown shoulder length hair curled to perfection. She had on semi-heavy makeup but left her natural freckles shown through.
"Tell me you are not wearing that." Liz said with disapproval as she eyed my mustard yellow sweater and high waisted black skinny jeans. "I didn't say anything last time about your outfit but this time..."
"What's wrong with my outfit?" I cut her off.
"It's cute but just not for a party." She squinted and added, "Although those jeans do make your butt look good."
I laughed. "Really? I guess incorporating the resistance belt to my work out has been helping."
I used to run but I haven't had time lately so I figured doing a ten minute resistance work out daily was better than nothing.
"You gotta let me borrow those jeans sometimes. And back to the subject at hand, you are not wearing that." Liz could not be distracted and was unrelenting.
"In my defense, nobody is going to care about what I wear because they'll be too busy having fun and too drunk to notice. Even if they do care, then that's their problem. I'm not there to impress anybody. And if those reasons aren't good enough, I do have a crop top under my sweater."
"Yes you are. You are there to impress potential future boyfriends." She said it with so much seriousness that I had to laugh.
"Liz. Please." I begged with my whiny voice. "Just let me be tonight. I would rather be warm and comfortable than be cold and uneasy."
"Fine. Don't blame me if you don't end up with a boyfriend." She said finally.
I laughed. "If I didn't get a guy because I'm not wearing the right outfit to the party then I'm okay with that. I would hope the guy who likes me would at least see beyond my outfit choice."
"True. But then again, most guys are dumb and they judge on first impressions." Liz and I both had a good laugh at that.
Nick and Jason showed up right at ten. At least they were punctual. On our way to the party, Jason and I sat in the backseat as we exchanged pleasantries. When we arrived at the house, I could not get out of the car fast enough. The awkward silence was suffocating since Jason and I had nothing to talk about after making inconsequential remarks to each other. Neither of us were great conversationalists which made for a very boring car ride.
All of us entered the house and it was packed just like the last time. It was like if you had gone to one party, you had gone to all since they were all pretty much the same—loud, crowded, booze filled and anxiety induced—to me anyway.
"What do you guys wanna drink?" Nick asked.
"Just get me a mixed drink." Liz responded.
"Nothing for me. Thanks." I smiled. Liz gave me a look but I stood my ground. It was not like I didn't try it last time. I tried and I didn't like it. "I'll be your designated driver." I told Liz so she would stop glaring at me.
Jason followed Nick to go get a drink.
"Hey. I'm gonna go out for some fresh air." I told Liz. I knew she won't be happy with me but I really didn't like party scenes. My anxiety was rising and I just couldn't enjoy myself. It wasn't something that I could just flip the switch and suddenly be okay with.
"But you just got here." Liz whined. "Stay a little longer, please?"
"Liz, I love you. You know I do." I tried to make her understand. "You're like a sister to me and I don't have anyone else but you. However, this is just not me. It doesn't matter how many times you drag me to these things, I will never learn to like it the way you do."
I gave her a warm smile. "I appreciate you trying to get me a social life so I'm not missing out but I truly am not. I'm perfectly happy where I am and it's okay that we have different priorities. It's not right or wrong one way or the other, just different."
I gave her a hug and she hugged me back and mumbled. "Fine. I give up. And I love you, too."
I laughed. "I'll be outside if you need me."
I made it out into the open air and my mood was instantly better. I was so much lighter now that I had told Liz how I felt. I smiled to myself as my hands went up to rub my arms.
I was content simply standing outside—away from the noise and the people—looking up at the stars. There weren't many stars visible but that didn't dampen my spirit.
"What are you smiling about?" A gentle voice asked next to me.
I gasped as I turned to face the guy who had been sending me flowers for the last two weeks—Mateo.
"Sorry." He said softly with a nervous smile. "I didn't mean to scare you."
He appeared very different from the guy I had previously encountered. Last time, he was so intimidating; this time, he was friendly and approachable.
"It's okay. I'm just naturally jumpy." I responded with the same softness.
He frowned as if I had implied what had happened between us. "I'm sorry. I hope you know how sorry I am.
After a short pause, I nodded.
I had two weeks to process what had happened. The incident literally happened within just a few minutes but it had felt like hours during. It was just a misunderstanding. He had not listen to my words at first, but at least he had listened to my body in the end. If he hadn't stopped, I couldn't image what could've happened.
In a way, I was just grateful that he had stopped when he did. As an optimist, I tried my best to focus on the good of every bad side and move on from there.
Suddenly, a cold autumn wind passed by, teasing my long brown wavy hair and bare skin making me shivered. It brought with it the scent of dried fallen leaves and a nice subtle scent that I could only assume belonged to Mateo.
"Why are you standing out here if you're cold?" He asked with the same gentleness as he took off his leather jacket and put it over my shoulders.
"Um. That's okay. I'm not that cold." I tried to give it back but he just slid his hands into his fitted jeans pockets.
"The cold doesn't bother me." He said easily as though to tell me to keep it.
I put it back on and pulled it tight around me. The same scent hit my nose and I found it quite comforting.
"Look, I'm gonna make it up to you. I promise. If you ever need anything, if it's within my power, I'll do it. All you have to do is ask."
"Y-you don't have to..."
"I want to." He cut me off before I could refuse whatever he was offering—that I didn't need or want anything from him.
I didn't know what else to say to that so I stayed quiet—I was good at it. Some people couldn't stay silent for long and craved noise and company, but for me, I welcomed it—flourished in it even. Some people found it uncomfortable and would eventually leave me alone, the ones who stayed were usually keepers.
I wonder if Mateo will leave.
As if he had heard me, he spoke. "Can I have your phone for a minute?"
"Um...why?" I questioned as I slowly got it out and he took it immediately.
"I'm gonna save my number and address in case you ever need to reach me." He said while his thumbs worked quickly over the keyboard, and just as quickly, handed it back when he was done.
We stood in silence a little longer and I wondered why he didn't leave yet.
Is he just trying to be nice because he feels bad for me?
Before I could answer my own question, he yelled, "Watch out!" With cat-like reflexes, he pulled me away from almost getting puked on.
Loud gagging noises immediately followed. A drunken guy, inches from my right, hunched over and vomited everything in his stomach out into the ground. He sounded like a choking dying animal. The smell alone almost made me want to gag with him.
On my left, Mateo was pressed up against me, his arm tightly wrapped around my waist. I stared up at him in the moonlight, and the fear I thought I would feel, was surprisingly not there.
~A/N~
4/3/2022
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