"I love you, Carroll."
It kept repeating in my mind as if it were a song lulling me to a peaceful sleep. I'm not sure if I heard it correctly nor if it was real, but I know that I'm not imagining things and I hope that I really am not. I went to the ambulance where the medics has taken Melissa to.
I am still in daze after hearing what Melissa said. She loves me. She said it but I'm still hesitating whether to believe that or not. What made her love me?
I push that thought in the back of my head. Focus, Carroll. I stare at Melissa's sleeping form. She is so still and peaceful, her breathing is even, which is good I guess after all what she had gone through. My eyes roam her body further. I had covered her with my own vest, her blouse is really ripped so I had to cover her body from any intruders. I just want to protect my girlfriend from unwanted attention. Violets and blues covered her whole body. Dried blood was all over her ripped clothes too. It was all too much for me to take. Everything that I saw, I couldn't take it. It hurt me too, like I also felt the pain Melissa did. Although I know that I wouldn't know exactly how that feels, but there's just this pain in seeing my partner —the person I love— hurting without being able to do anything about it.
I had called Skye earlier to inform her which hospital we are heading. I didn't know what happened after because I cut the call short right after I called her. I didn't want to be questioned at the moment, I needed a break. About that poor excuse for a human being, I don't care if she's Melissa's biological mother, she was sent to her deathbed. I don't know if they meant it to happen, but when we got distracted in our fight, I muttered the signal. I expect them to just tranquilize her, but I was frozen in my place when I saw blood coming out from her chest. I felt horrible, even if the woman was a psycho, they could've at least put her to jail not to put an end to her life. I would've sent her to a mental facility to take care of her but everything is just too late, and my what if's wouldn't do anything good. I don't know what's up with the authority, I was clear with the sedative.
But on the contrary, I'm kind of relieved. I feel horrible saying this, that Patricia is gone for good. Since the woman didn't have any relatives left (maybe they threw her away, I suspect), I told them that I would cover her burial. The least we can do for her is to give her a proper burial. She's still human and Melissa's mother after all, and she has to be respected whatever she did. Forgiven? That's up to her daughter who is still unconscious up to this moment.
I was too in my thoughts that I didn't notice that I'm already in this familiar four-cornered white room with its beeping machines. Melissa's in a white gown, tubes attached to different parts of her body. It pained me seeing her in a state like this. How could my bubbly girlfriend suddenly turn lifeless in a snap? Her eyes, I need to see the life in them. They hold the deepest oceans, I need to drown in them. I miss Melissa. I miss everything about her. Her smile, her golden hair, her lips.. Everything, especially her whole being.
"Lisa," I called, my hand reaching out to her own to entwine with it. "Please wake up, baby.. I miss you.." I mumbled against the back of her hand before kissing it. I've been in this familiar situation before, Melissa lying on bed as if she were sleeping, but the difference now is that there are machines around. Unlike in the past, I was only putting ice pack on her..
But now, everything is different.
Melissa seems here yet she's out of my reach. I can touch her, kiss her, yet she's still unreachable. If it were up to me, I would exchange places with her. The world needs more people like Melissa, but I doubt that it's the same with me. The world needs more people with good heart.
"Please come back to me, Lisa.." I muttered helplessly against her hand. It is now covered with tears. Shut it Carroll! There's no fucking need to cry. Melissa will wake up, you just have to be fucking patient like you've always been! Dammit, why didn't that psycho just killed me instead?
I rubbed circles her hand using my thumb. "Okay, Melissa.. You don't have to hurry, get all the rest you need just don't leave us..me.."
"Hey Carroll,"
My head snapped up, hoping that it was Melissa who called me, to my demise she's still laying peacefully asleep.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Carr." The person once again spoke before they took a seat and put it beside me. I turned my head to my side. It was Georgina. "Where is Uncle Michael?" I had asked. It is a wonder how she got here first instead of him.
Georgina gestured outside. "Talking to the police." She explained before a look of concern and sympathy crossed her features. As soon as I saw that look on her eyes, I threw her a glare. "I don't need your sympathy, Georgina. Melissa will wake up anytime sooner, and I'm sure of it." If she came here to just pity my girlfriend, she can get out. It's not like Melissa's not going to wake up forever. She's just resting and rejuvenating so that she can be healthy again.
"That's not why I'm here, Carroll, you know that," Georgina carefully touched my shoulder as if she's hesitating. Well, her eyes say otherwise. "I'm worried about you," the girl has said and I heard rustling behind me, but I paid no attention on it. I have all my attention at Melissa, who is evenly breathing. She looks so peaceful lying on the bed.. But I don't want her being so tranquil, I want to see her alive and awake. I need to see her awake. I need to feel her again. I'd rather take her pissing me off than to see her lying on this stupid bed, looking so lifeless.
"Have you eaten yet?" I shook my head. "Melissa will wake up anytime soon and I have to be on her side when that happens." I explained to her, hoping that she will just stay silent for the rest of the day. I don't want to be spoken to, I need a break from everything. Staring at my girlfriend's lovely face is enough to keep me calm. I don't need foods, I need her to wake up. Until then, I will not bother to eat.
"Say anything, move anything, Melissa.." That is what I remember saying before darkness consumed me.
I woke up to a place that I've never been before. Wait, or so I thought? This is the abandoned mansion's garden. I ran around the bushes and touched some roses as I did so. On my way, I bumped into someone. Who could be here other than me? Mother, but I don't know if she still has the time to go here.
My question got its answer when the person turned her body to me. Long blonde hair falling down to her mid back and those alluring blue pools that seem like little oceans, I didn't need her to speak for me to recognize who this person is standing in front of me.
"Melissa," I gasped, both my hands going up to my mouth to cover it. The blonde looked like a goddess, looking so effortlessly beautiful in a hospital gown as her long hair cascaded down to her back. But wait, what is she doing here? Isn't she supposed to be resting?
"Hey baby," the blonde spoke, as she started coming closer to me. A smile graced her lips the moment her palms made contact with my face. I leaned further into her warm and soothing touch like a cat. I think I purred, "Hmm.. Yeah, Lisa?" My eyes closed on their own accord. Her touch is so soothing, I could stay like this forever. No worries, no problems, just me and her in the world.
But what happened in the hospital?
I must have jolted at the thought because Melissa now had a firm grip on my shoulders. "Baby, calm down," The goddess told me to, and I did without any questions asked. After all, I wouldn't be able to defy that soft voice of hers. My eyes have opened, so I was able to get a good look of her beautiful face again. I'll never get tired of seeing her.
“Let me go, Carroll.”
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean let you go?" I nervously chuckled. She can't possibly mean that..? Right?
“As much as I love you holding onto me, it hurts.. So, let go, baby..”
“Let go, Carroll.. You're hurting me..”
"Carroll, let it go.."
"Carroll, loosen your grip on me.."
"Carroll it hurts.."
"Let me—"
I jolted up while screaming, "No!"
I let my eyes wander around me. The people in the room are staring at me with confusion. But lastly, they fell upon the blonde goddess, who now has her eyes opened as she looked at me warmly. "Carroll, my hand," Melissa laughed.
My eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. "You're awake, Melissa?!" I exclaimed out of shock, my hand still tightly wrapped around hers. Then a thought just occurred to me.
I let out a frustrated groan, mumbling, "Please tell me that this isn't a dream.."
Upon hearing that heavenly chuckle, enough to fill me with bliss, I almost thought that this is yet another dream of mine. But I was proven wrong when the goddess herself spoke up.
"No, baby, you're not dreaming." Melissa stated with that knowing smile on her lips. "I'm right here and I'm–"
I didn't let Melissa finish her sentence because I was already pulling her into my embrace. "I'm glad you're conscious now.. I was scared shitless!"
I felt arms wrapped around me too as a hand started patting my back. Melissa's chuckle vibrated between our bodies. "If I'm hearing you curse, it's worth it." The blonde whispered, blowing hot air on my ear.
"You idiot," I squeezed her tighter. "Don't you ever go anywhere without me or anyone, you get it?"
Melissa pulled herself away from our embrace before putting my face in her palms. She wiped something on my face using her thumbs. "Aye, aye, Captain!" A sad smile fell upon her lips that I so badly want to pepper with kisses right now. "I don't want to see my captain crying.. I'll be sad too.." She cooed while giving me that adorable pout and puppy blue eyes.
"Okay," I let out a sad smile. "But you always go with me, 'kay?" She nodded before pulling me into her chest.
We stayed like that for an hour longer. No one was speaking.. Our presences are just enough for each other. We need no words, we just needed each other. Even though it has only been a few hours or a day I think, we missed each other like crazy. From the very moment Melissa avoided me because of her wanting to get rid of her feelings for me, I knew at that very moment that she will not be leaving my life sooner.
Melissa will not be stepping out of the frozen lake until it melts. And when it melts, she will be pulling me up from under the depths of the lake and guide me as she is my light. Together, we will start a new journey. Every memory we will create in the near future will involve each other, and I couldn't wait for those memories to unfold.
We didn't break away from our hug until someone from behind cleared their throat.
Rather too regretful, we untangled our bodies to glance at the person who wants to get our attention.
"Dad," Melissa said happily, a cheerful smile quickly gracing her dry lips. "Melissa, my dear," Uncle had his tears at bay before he pulled his daughter into a warm embrace.
I got out of their way to give them a moment. They talked about everything but what happened. Clearly, both of them don't want to talk about it. Uncle doesn't want to stress Melissa; she just woke up. If I were him too, I wouldn't bombard her with questions right away too. That's just ridiculous and selfish in some way. Let the poor girl have a rest, god dammit.
They talked about their days, what Melissa had dreamt of while she was sleeping, what they've eaten.. There's something interesting about what Melissa dreamt of though.
"I was in the place Carroll and I went to.. The mansion with a beautiful and large garden with roses and sorts of flowers.. We were running and chasing each other, doing romantic things like hugging and whispering some things that I forgot, but I'm pretty sure that it's something romantic.."
I quickly cut in after hearing what she just said. "Pardon me, Uncle, Melissa.. But I must say that I had a similar dream as that earlier.."
Both Madison's stared at me. I don't know if they're amazed or what, but their eyes are somehow showing awe. After a minute or so, Michael smiled. A smile that I wished would at least my own father would have. Unfortunately, not.
"Well dear, maybe the two of you," Michael gestured to us. "..were communicating through your dreams! That's amazing and sweet at the same time.. So romantic.." Melissa and I couldn't help the smile that tugged on our lips. Well, maybe we were. What can I say, we have such connection that only the two of us have. I may be priding myself too much, but well it is something to be proud of. It's not so usual for me to be connected with someone, let alone communicate through our dreams.
"Maybe we were," I said after thinking for a while. Melissa stared at me before speaking as well. "Yeah, we were, dad." She smiled, clearly agreeing with me and her dad.
"You two are such brave girls, I'm so proud of you two.." Michael pulled me into a hug as he spoke. I nodded while smiling. It's not that often I get to be called brave without the person thinking how scary I am. "Thank you.." I mumbled, a silly smile still plastered on my lips. It really feels great to hear compliments from people.
"Yeah right dad? I know? My girlfriend was like Jeanne d' Arc earlier, combatting with Patricia like an action star.."
They started talking again. I didn't need to be in their conversation because just watching and hearing them make me happy. They bond like how a father and daughter should be.. It is strong, unbreakable I must say..
Unlike my relation with my father. That poor excuse for a human being. Just remembering him makes me nauseous and ashamed of the blood that flows through my system. What kind of a person is he? How did my mom was able to love someone like him?
"Carroll, you okay there?"
Upon hearing Melissa's heavenly voice, I was taken away from my musings in an instant. I shrugged and waved my hand off. "Of course, don't worry about me.. You should rest more, okay?" Melissa nodded, defeated. "Don't worry about anything okay? Just tell me what you want and I'll fetch it for you."
Before Melissa could even respond, the soft ringing of my phone disturbed us. It's my father. "Wait a second, I gotta take this.."
"Sure sure.. Be safe!"
"Yes father?" I answered with all politeness I had in me. "So I've heard you risked your life for that girl, huh?" News really is fast. Faster than how I think, I must say. "Yes, that is correct. Is there a problem with that, father?" My own tone made me sick. How can I still be polite to this man who just ruined my life?
"A problem?" Father asked, disbelief enveloping his voice. I expected him to shout next, but instead I heard a sigh. "We need to talk in person.. Please go back here to our house? I'll borrow a few of your time, please darling?"
I contemplated about it for a while. It took me five minutes. Father's tone is so desperate and pleading, maybe he wants to apologize for everything he has done..
So, my answer is,
"Sure thing. I'll be there in ten."