Rain Lauren's P.O.V
As class came to an end I gathered my things ready to leave and go back to my dorm. It had a been a stressful week and I couldn't wait to get in the shower and hit the sack. I'm glad that I was in my Junior year but sad that it wasn't my senior year already. I'm a 3rd year student at Morgan State University in Baltimore, MD. It has always been my dream school to attend, one of the best HBCU'S in my opinion. It was the only dream of mine that I had ever really followed. I majored in Biology, being that my father wanted me to be a doctor and I had no other say so. If I denied and thought I would do anything other than be a doctor I had another thing coming. It was either that or stay home with him back in long Island and I wanted anything else than to be around him any more than I had been. Which was my entire life. I was always looked at in a light where everything had to be perfect and I had to be a certain size and have a certain skin tone and a certain type of hair to be accepted and live a happy life. I couldn't help that I was a plus size girl. I couldn't get rid of the plump behind that I hated more than anything. I couldn't get rid of the wild thick and curly hair I had. I couldn't get rid of the thick lips that I had been born with. I couldn't rid of the thick thighs and chocolate brown skin I was born with. The only thing that people had accepted was that I had bright green eyes. That had been passed down for generations on my mother's side of the family. My great grandmother had them so did my grandmother and my mother and now me. My mother was the only person in my life who had seen me as nothing less than perfect in her beautiful eyes that I miss more and more everyday. She was my everything, she always encouraged me to always love myself and never let anyone tell me different or that I wasn't beautiful when she knew damn well that I was, to her. She died when I seven years old. My father had driven her to suicide. Telling her that she would never be enough. That she cursed me with ugliness and no one would ever accept me. I was a disgrace and he hated me. Ever since then he tried to change me in every way. He would starve me for days upon days, he shaved all my hair off when I was ten so people wouldn't see how "nappy and ugly" it was. He kept me locked in the house for days keeping me away from any kind of light, his logic was that if I wasn't in any sort of light my skin wouldn't get any darker and it would have no choice but to lighten up. He went through millions of doctors seeing who would perform a lip reduction surgery on me because they were " huge and disgusting" and every single one turned him down because they thought he was a psychotic lunatic. When I hit puberty it was completely over. His torture became worse. I began to grow breast and rapidly. From then on my body just continued to grow and change every single day. My hair had grown back longer and fuller than ever.
I hated everything about my body. Bullying played an enormous role in my life of pain and being un accepted by everyone. I went through hell my middle school and high school years. It was the worst time of my life. I think the only good that had happened in my life was my father letting me go away to college. Being a doctor was never my dream in life. I wanted to be an artistic writer. Creating art with a graphical story and memory behind each and every one. I had a talent of drawing I can admit that. I was always drawn to writing and creating a story that would pull you in so deep it was a hassle to get out. Whatever that character felt the reader felt to. Stories that brought them into the world and situations of those they were reading about. So I started doing just that. Not wanting to give my identity away I created a different name for myself. @LiyahSanTheArtist was my name for my Wattpad and WriteNow profiles. I used my drawings to give my stories more detail and go in depth more into the world's of the characters I wrote about. I lived my fantasies out in my books and people loved them all without knowing who I am. I lived two lives. My reality life where I knew I would never be able to do anything I wanted in life and I was always in pain and I didn't and still don't know what to do. Then my life as LiyahSanTheArtist who did everything she wanted and lived a free life where she didn't care who accepted her and who didn't. She just did her. Torn between the two I continued to live both lives as no one ever found out. Or as I call it Double Up.