this goodbye, the end of us
feels like the end of an era to me,
like the sun which lit the world in golds
decided to stop shining one day,
like the stars were stripped off their dust
naked, lost in the endless of the night sky.
when i held your hand for the last time,
i held it a little longer and remembered
all the lines that trace your palms tenderly.
i looked at your eyes and memorised
the way they shone with the tears you held back.
i looked at you, one last time,
as if it were my last moment in this life and
as if i might drift into the uncertainty of afterlife,
so i let myself stay a little longer
to breathe in every atom of your soul.
to me, the goodbye sounded like so full of itself -
burdened with questions you can't answer
what would i do without you?
who would hold me when i can't hold myself?
who would sit with me as
i name constellations not yet mapped?
i bury my tears deep under my eyelids,
ask the sadness clawing at my belly to keep quiet,
shush the storm that is threatening
to fracture my ribcage and split me open;
and look at you for one more time
with longing or grief, i know not,
and ask you to stay happy.
just stay happy.
Author's note:
Some people are gonna stay, long after the goodbye.
Thank you for the memories.
Stay happy, always?