You have to actively yell at me if you want more, like remind me....but not too much or I'll get annoyed and I'll delete the app.
[CHAPTER ONE
: 7ish pages]
For as long as it could remember, the only thing the Asset could feel was torture.
It's arm.
The electricity.
Gunshots.
Stab wounds.
The scars.
The Bruises.
Then it felt emotions. It didn't know what to do with them. It just repressed them.
Terror.
Rage.
Empty.
Pathetic.
Sadness.
It never appeared to react. The scientists question if it’s human sometimes. They never treated it as such, they told it that it was not. They told it that it is a thing, inhuman, and object.
The Asset questioned if it was human sometimes; murdering without compassion, tolerance. Being tortured, frozen for as long as it was not on a mission. The only two constants it had in its meaningless life, pain and being no recollection of anything. People were not to be treated like this; this is why it's an it. It was supposed to be the greatest soldier on the HYDRA's side. Sometime's the Asset inquired why everyone else has freedom, sovereignty of their own life.
“Freedom is a lie created by the American swine.” Answered Rumlow. “None of us have it. And you agreed to this before your first memory wipe.”
The Asset sighed and nodded. “I understand, sir.”
Once every six months, they let it out. ‘Maintenance’ they say. They monitor how it's doing. This was mainly if they hadn't needed it during those months. It had two hours to walk around as it pleased, stretch its legs. The other two hours were to give it a checkup. An hour for the first one, as he got out of the cryo-pod, another one as it got back in it. Right now, it had two hours to itself.
It forgot how good food tastes. It devoured all it could get its hands on. One of the scientists laughed at it. It realized that it wasn't really...being normal. It regulated its eating pattern every time after that. All it wanted was to be normal. Scratch that, it didn't have feelings, wants, desires. It was a weapon, an object, not a human. It had to keep telling itself this. Object, thing, not human.
It pushed the food away. It was done. It got up. There was so much to do, so little time.
Sometimes it would Express its thoughts.
“Sir, I don't think-” The sound of flesh slapping flesh echoed across the room.
“Machines don’t think. I think it's time for a wipe.” The man whose face was just a blur in its damaged memory purred out. Its keepers liked doing this to it, liked torturing it.
The asset hated this. It burned. It hates the pain. It doesn't want this. It doesn't remember why it would ever want this. It wouldn't want this. The Asset knows it would never. When the Asset gets sat in the chair, it grabs a man's neck. It will not go in. It doesn't want this. It wants freedom.
Freedom is a foreign concept to it. It wants it though. It needs it, craves it.
A sharp prick hit its neck. It takes in a sharp breath. A minor wave of relaxation hit it.
It doesn't know when, but the man's neck left its grasp. Its whole body seemed to forcefully relax. It didn't want this. Why couldn't it be saved?
The headset was lowered.
The retainer was placed in its mouth.
The switch was flipped.
Agonizing pain.
Ear piercing screams.
It wishes its pain tolerance was lower, it would pass out easier.
There is a moment where he remembers everything, the name that he always remembers, his name, his best friend's.
Then it remembered nothing, like always. It assumes that this has happened before. It is hard to think. The Asset opens its eyes. Small flakes of color dance around his vision, it has a bad headache. Everything burns, especially its arm. It was too hot. It tried to get away from the pain, but was held in place by the chair.
The pain stopped and it was pulled away from the chair. It was still lightly twitching.
The asset thought it heard talking, but it sounded just like white noise. A hand pushed it forward and it stumbled. The fog in its head was starting to clear up enough to hear its instructions.
“You are being frozen again.”
The Asset nodded. It was led to a freezing room.
When it was frozen, a single word would always echo in its hollow head, maybe a name, a cry for help, a plea. Maybe just nonsense? It always lost the word when it stepped out.
This time when it stepped out, a strangely familiar face greeted him.
“...Bucky?” The man wrapped his arms around it tightly.
“Who the hell is ‘Bucky’?” The Asset asked while trying to get out the hold. “Are you part of Hydra?”
“...Bucky…” The strange man muttered softly. “...What did they do to you…?”
The Asset checked its surroundings. Its keepers, the scientists, people who worked for the organization in general. The Asset slipped its arms out and pushed the man away. It jumped on him and put him in a headlock.
“Bucky. I’m not fighting you.” The man gasped out.
The asset loosened his grip. This man has taken out the whole building, but won’t fight it. Maybe he is not an enemy? It loosened its grip entirely. The strange man gasped for air.
“Thanks, Buck. Now, come on. We’ve gotta go.”
The asset stared at him. “...Who’s Bucky?”
“Bucky, quit kidding around! We really have to go!” He grabbed its arm.
The Asset pulled it back. “...Don’t touch me it warned.” It didn’t want to hurt this man, he seemed…dare he say, nice?
“Jesus, Buck, fine. Just come with me.”
The asset didn’t move.
“...That’s an order, Buck.”
Almost as against its will, its legs started moving towards the man.
“There, come on, let’s go.” The man grabbed The Asset’s hand and ran. The Asset could not remember anyone ever being as fast as it or strong, but its memory only went back a few weeks. It had the faintest of a memory of a group of people, maybe this stranger was part of them?
“...What did they do to you, Buck?” Muttered the strange man to himself.
“I would like to know too.” The Asset answered. It was not able to tell if this was a rhetorical question or not.
“...You...don’t know?” The man looked shocked. The Asset hated that word. It had too much to do with electricity.
The asset nodded. “They wipe my memory. I think...two weeks ago? Maybe not. Everything is fuzzy right now.” The Asset closed its eyes. “...I can’t tell you, Steve. I don't even know.” The name just seemed to slip out. The name seemed to fit the blonde perfectly.
The blonde’s face lit up. “You remember my name?” That confirmed it for the Asset. The strange man’s name was Steve.
The asset shook its head. “I don’t think I have ever seen you before, Steve.”
Steve sighed. “...We're taking a break.” Steve sat up a tent and started a fire. The asset won't disagree. It has fear, fear of pain. Just because this man seems nice, doesn't mean he is. It thought about a few things. That man, he's seen him. Maybe in his dreams? Another thing, that's the words that he thinks about in the cryo-pod.
“It's done.” The Asset makes no move to get in. “...Bucky, get in.” The Asset doesn't know why Steve calls it that. It's...too personal, too intimate. The Asset doesn't like it. It makes a move to get in the tent anyway. It laid down away from Steve.
Steve sighed. “Buck, come here.” The Asset glanced at him and moved closer. What did he want from it? It was starting to worry about it.
“...Better, sir?” The Asset asked with a shiver in its voice. Steve shook his head in defeat and pulled it close. “...Jesus, Buck...you're freezing…” It was true, The Asset was freezing. The SSS made it so its body temperature was lowered. It was harder to detect on a thermal camera.
The Asset took a deep breath. “...Why do you keep calling me that? That's not my name. I am ‘The Asset.’...Some people used to Call me Winter. My serial number is 17.”
“...Just go to sleep...we'll deal with this later.” Steve mumbled into The Asset's neck. It shivered slightly. Nothing has ever been this close in a non-threatening manner...it liked this. This made it feel safe. It drifted into unconsciousness
Small flashes of snow, a trail of crimson, and a burning, stinging arm filled his sleep.
It awoke to bright lights shining down on it. It hands were bound to the chair. Correction, hand. It was a bit woozy from the pain, so it didn’t question it. It shut its eyes harshly as it felt something jabbing it.
“...What are you doing?” It choked out. The words felt foreign on its tongue. Heavy and clunky. “...Wh...where am….I?” Has it always spoken this language?
The people disregarded it and continued working on its arm. It’s breathing was starting to get more ragged as they poke and prodded it. It held back the pained groans and whimpers, only letting a few gasps out.
“Shouldn’t we be doing this with an anesthetic?” Questioned one of them. Her voice sounded far away like it was through a pipe. It hoped that they would. It opened its eyes and looked up at them hopefully. There was a white haze protruding his vision.
“Look? See. He’s fine.” Answered another. It could see her mouth moving, but the voice sounded far off. The edges of its vision started to darken.
“...C...can’t feel arm…” It wheezed out. It was only faintly conscious of a burning sensation there. All of its senses were fading out. It heard a laugh as it couldn’t stay conscious anymore.
It woke up about 6 hours after it fell asleep. It was morning. The strange man, Steve, wasn't in the tent anymore. It sat up and looked around. He couldn't have gone far.
The Asset stepped out of the tent to see Steve making a fire. He smiled at it. “Bucky! You're up! I'm glad to see you.” Steve said as he prodded the fire with a stick. “Sleep well?”
The Asset stared at him with no emotion. “...Don't talk much anymore huh, Buck?” Steve chuckled nervously. “Anyway, uh, I'm making a fire...for food.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck.
“I do not require substance at the moment, sir-”
“Steve.” The blonde interjected.
“....-Steve…” The Asset sighed. “I do not require food...at the moment. Before today I had been woken up, I had been fed ten years ago.”
“...You...haven’t ate in over ten years?” The soldier nodded. “Jesus, Buck…” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you...hungry?
“I have been trained to ignore my hunger. It has worked so well that I do not even feel it anymore.”
The man in front of it abruptly looked cross. Had it said something wrong? “I can assure you, it didn’t take long to get rid of and has never interfered with a mission.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about, Buck.” Steve murmured to himself. “Just...eat something, okay?”
The Asset nodded and picked up a protein bar. It ate it before standing up.
“Ready to go, Buck?” The Asset nodded.
[CHAPTER 2?]
They have been walking for a few hours. His rescuer, Steve, keeps apologizing profusely. The Asset does not understand this. Why apologize go it? It is just an object, a weapon. The Asset finds it strange.
They walked in silence for most of the walk beside the occasional question like,
“How are you?” or “You okay?”
Which the Asset responded with nods, which Steve was getting annoyed at. He just wanted a conversation with him, a real one.
They finally arrived at a plane. “...Come on. Let's get on.” Steve pulled The Asset onto the SHIELD Jet. “Might want to nap. It's a long trip.”
The Asset nodded and sat down in a seat, closing its eyes.
“Want something to drink, sirs?” Walked in a man with an eye patch, ripping it from its almost sleep.
Steve rolled his eyes. “Very funny, Fury.”
The Asset sighed and closed its eyes again. It drifted off into sleep.
>dream sequence: START! HOO HAAA!<
It woke up with its hands strapped down to chair again. It looked back at its hand that it thought had been cut off. It was certainly there...just not right. It looked shiny and grey, metallic. This had to be a trick of the light? It wiggled its fingers. It could see them moving, but couldn't feel them. It could even hear them moving, the quiet buzz of a motor, the soft clicks of the plates moving. This couldn't be its arm. This arm was metal. The soft clicking of metal brought his attention up.
“Good. You're awake.” A strange man growled out in a gruff voice. “Was starting to think we lost you.” The man chuckled. “No matter, you're here and that's all that matters, Winter.” The Asset stared up at him, tilting his head as far as the bindings would allow.
“...Wh…” His voice came scratchy and soft. “Where am I?” He finally croaked out.
The man chuckled once again. “Doesn't matter. You'll find out soon enough.” He walked closer to The Asset. “I will undo the leather over your wrists now. You will not run off, understand?” It nodded, almost without trying to. The man untied him. “Welcome to Hydra, soldier. You may have some memory trouble.” He pulled the Asset into a standing position.
“...I...can't remember anything.” The Asset stretched painfully. Every muscle in its body hurt and burned like it hadn't moved for many years. The man nodded and wrote something down.
“Good. Come with me.” The man walked off, leading The Asset with him. It took in the place, the metal walls, the metal flooring, the bright lighting. This feels like a hospital, The Asset thinks. It doesn't remember if it's ever been in one.
The man led The Asset farther down the halls. Now the walls were surrounded by bars. People were behind those bars, calling out to The Asset. It was told to ignore them, that they were traitors. It complied.
The continued walking until they got to a door. They walked through. It was completely white, save for the furniture- if you could call it that- which was a darker grey chair in the middle. He looked around. Wasn't this the same room that they were just in? A scientist walked up to it. The woman had presumably long, dark hair in a bun, glasses and a white lab coat.
“Did you remember any of them?” Asked the man he had followed. It shook his head and the woman scribbled down notes.
“Fascinating!” The woman exclaimed. “I didn't think it would work.” Another scientist walked in.
“Did you doubt me, [STAND IN NAME]?” The man sneered. “Seems like you did. Maybe we should test it on you next? See how it works on a normal person.”
“I-Uh, n-no thank you, Zola, sir.” The brunette stuttered out.
“Good. Now, take your leave, Schlampe.” The woman nodded and left.
The Asset sat down in the chair again. It awaited orders.
“What is your name?” The Asset looked at the man, the woman called him ‘Zola’. That must be the man’s name.
“...I...do not remember.” It stated.
“Serial number?” The man, Zola, wrote something down.
“...I…” It reached to its neck to grab at the cool metal, it was always there. It knew it should be, it knew that it should know its serial number, but it didn't. “...I do not know it.” Zola smiled. It was a wicked, cold smile. It chilled The Asset to the bone.
“Good. That is good.” Zola clicked his pen. “Now, who do you work for?”
“Hydra.” The Asset almost whispered. It was the only answer that it knew. It didn’t find it strange, it felt right. Normal. “I work for HYDRA.”
>END OF IT! HOHA!<
“Buck?” Someone shook him awake. “Bucky, wake up.” He slowly opened his eyes. It was that strange man again, the one who was nice to him. The tall, blonde, muscular, baby blue-eyed man. He grabbed onto his arm. He needed to know that he was real.
“Bucky?” Steve ran a hand through The Asset's hair. It leaned into it, whimpering softly. Steve didn't know what to do about this. Since he got him back, Bucky hasn't shown any emotions since he has gotten back. He was getting worried. “Are you okay?” Bucky pulled away and nodded.
“...Yeah...sorry,” The Asset cleared his throat. “...Steve.” It still felt weird to be saying someone's name after so long of just calling someone sir and ma'am. “...Are we...uh, here?” Wherever here was. Steve nodded and they made their way off the plane. It took a minute to take it all in. They were in a city. A big city. It had towers that touched the sky, it could already hear the buzz of talking and cars all the way from the airport.
Steve nodded while smiling. “Yeah, Buck!” He grinned at it and put an arm around it. The Asset flinched. It didn't like being touched. “We’re here! New York city!” The Asset didn’t dare move, its new handler might get mad.
“Oh.” Was all it could manage to get out. Its new handler, Steve seemed like he wanted it to say something. It kept its vision on the ground. Below it was littered with cracks and chipped paint. Must have been from the plane, it thought.
[FOR A LATER SCENE]
“Bucky.” Steve grabbed Bucky's face, forcing him to look at him. “You are human.”
“I am a weap-”
“No Bucky. You're human. I've never met anyone like you. You're not a weapon. HYDRA is just bad...you're human, Bucky; a person, Buck.”
Something seemed to change in him. His face less stoic, hands shaking, eyes watering. He wrapped his arms around Steve. “....No one's ever told me that before, Steve…” Bucky's voice cracked. “I-I'm so glad…” He saw Steve smile softly before hugging back.
“Don't worry, Buck.” Steve said, rubbing his back. “I'll always be there for you…”
[YEETUS! END OF THE THINGY]