*Disclaimer: Possibly contains disturbing content*
Her face was paler than I had ever seen it, she was probably in shock. I ran to her.
"Oh god, oh god," I started to panic.
I tried to lift up her right hand to see how bad it was, but as soon as I did, blood started to spurt anew. It looked bad; out of my realm bad. It was deeper than any cut I had ever gotten. That fucking, splintering fence must have sliced her arm open when she fell.
"Let's get inside." I had to really focus to keep the panic out of my voice.
"Am...am I goin' to be ok?" Chloe's eyes were glassy.
"Of course." I had no way of knowing that.
We left a bloody trail all the way to the door. My hand slipped on the sliding door handle from all the blood that coated it; I had to wipe it off on my already ruined pants. This was too much blood for an adult, let alone a small child. I flung open the door and sat her down on a kitchen chair. I started to pull open all the drawers searching for a towel. After I tried all of them, I finally opened the right one.
I forced Chloe's hand away and shoved the sunflower print tea towel on the bleeding wound.
"It hurts!" Chloe screamed and I had never felt so powerless.
She started to kick out her legs and I had to jump to the side to avoid them. Blood was staining the towel at an alarming rate.
"I know it hurts Chloe, but you have to push on this as hard as possible ok? I'm going to run upstairs and grab something."
I ran off before she could protest. I flew up the stairs and into the little boy's room. He had to own a belt that I could use as a tourniquet. I threw open and rummaged through his dresser, clothes flying everywhere. I found a faux leather one that would work, so I ran back down the stairs in a flurry.
Chloe was now screaming and crying, the initial shock having worn off. She was like a banshee; her pain was palpable.
"Make it stop!" Her face was now red from all the screaming.
She needed to stop yelling, we already had all those infected in the alley. No doubt they were banging and pushing on the fence trying to get in.
"I'm going to tie this around your arm ok? It will help stop the blood so I can treat it."
I looped my arm under hers and latched the belt, tightening it just past the elbow.
"OW!" She flailed, but I tugged it as tight as it could go.
"I know it hurts Chloe, but this will stop the bleeding," I pleaded with her.
She weakly pushed and scratched at me, trying to get me to release the belt. But even as she was doing that, I could see that the blood flow was slowing when I lifted the tea towel.
"See it's working," I pointed out. "Now I need you to be really brave right now and hold this belt."
I realized she had more strength than most adults would, when she grabbed the end of the belt I was pulling on and started to tug.
"Good. We need disinfectant."
I ran to the living room where the stuff we grabbed from the medicine cabinet was. There was a brown bottle of peroxide that I needed. Chloe was going to hate this even more. I made a mess of our bags as I rooted through them to grab the bottle. Once I got back to the kitchen, I took out the gauze we pilfered from the general store.
All this was going to do was disinfect the wound. It was deep enough that she needed stitches and there was no way I could administer them to a flailing child.
Superglue.
Darren's tidbit from when he patched up Ethan roared into my head. I had spotted a tube when I was going through the kitchen drawers. I went back to the various open drawers and found the rolled up tube of superglue. This would have to do. I took a deep breath, realizing I would more than likely have to hold her down.
"Chloe, I need you to lie on the floor."
"Why?" She demanded through tears and snot.
"I can't put the disinfectant on properly unless the arm is flat out," I lied through my teeth.
She looked at me hesitantly, so I tried to hurry her along. I helped her to the floor and she sprawled out. Every time I reached for the wound, she tried to move her arm away. Human instinct I guess, to avoid pain as much as possible.
"I need to hold the belt!" She tried to sit up, but I gently pushed her back down.
"Don't worry about that. I just need you to be brave, can you do that?"
She looked at me; tears were running down her face like a faucet.
"Just make it stop please!"
I kneeled down beside her with all my supplies, "Now Chloe, I don't want to scare you or lie to you, but this will sting. The peroxide will kill any germs in the cut; we can't have it getting infected."
She tried to move away from me again, "Wait-"
Before she could finish, I placed my knee on her upper forearm to hold it in place and poured some of the clear liquid onto the wound. She thrashed wildly and screamed like I was the one who did it. I kept my hold on her arm with my knee and used my other hand to hold the lower part steady.
"PLEASE STOP! IT HURTS SO BAD!"
I had to try to block out her screaming and...pleading for me to stop. It was hard. I felt like I was killing her, but it was for her own good.
The wound hissed and bubbled as the peroxide ate away the germs that had embedded themselves in there. I wiped away the white bubbles and blood with another clean towel I had grabbed. Then poured more peroxide directly into the wound this time. She kicked and jerked even harder, but I was stronger and used my weight to keep her arm in place.
The bleeding had slowed immensely and I took that as a good sign. Her breathing was labored from all the fighting against me and screaming.
"Please...just stop," she tearfully pleaded.
I noticed the fight was leaving her. I felt like an abuser. The worst person in the world.
Finally after another round of peroxide, the fizzing stopped and it no longer reacted to the wound. This was a guess on my part, but I think that meant the disinfectant had done its job. Now was time for the glue. I poured the peroxide on my fingers and scrubbed it in. I needed them to be sterile.
The lid was stuck to the top of the tube, so I had to use the towel for leverage to twist it off. The smell of vinegar reached my nose once the lid came off.
"Is it over?" She sounded so defeated.
"Almost. I just have to make sure the wound closes."
I dabbed a fair amount to my finger tip and spread it slightly in the wound.
"STOP!" Chloe started screaming and kicking again as I aggravated the sore wound.
Once I figured I got enough in there, I pinched the two sides of the cut together.
"DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP!" She was so loud, that I had to take feelings out of the equation.
I shoved my free hand over her mouth to smother her screams.
The look in her eyes said it all; traitor.
She continued to jerk and scream against my hand, I could feel the vibrations against my palm. All the windows were open along with the back door and those things at the back fence didn't need to be spurred on. I released the wound and it didn't reopen. The glue had worked.
I took my hand off her mouth, "I'm just going to put some gauze around it and it will be over."
"I hate you!" Chloe spat.
And that hurt, twisting up my stomach in knots; but I had a job to do. I wrapped the gauze around a few times and tied it off. As soon as I removed my knee, Chloe shuffled away from me, cradling her bandaged arm. The collar of her shirt was stained will tears and her clothes were matted in her blood. I was a horrible protector. I should never have been here in the first place; should never have been in charge of another human being. I wasn't cut out for this.
I looked down at the mess I had made. The white tiles were stained with blood and peroxide. Dirty towels and opened supplies surrounded me. I had just held down a child while I attempted to treat a serious wound, with zero experience. Chloe would have been better off with anyone else but me.