I dreamed about Jungkook yesterday.
He was crying, whispering "Hyung".
What did I do wrong?
I truly thought I could solve all of this but here I am wearing a black dress.
Friday, 11th January.
Exactly three days after the day I had my first dream. This is reality. Jungkook is dead.
We're all quiet in my living room, no one says a word. The air is almost unbreathable. It's almost as if someone says something a bomb will explode.
Yoongi keeps drinking drink after drink and I'm as worried as Jungyeon.
I start to think about that day again as I look through the pictures on my phone.
After that day, I stayed by his side.
Instead of ignoring me, we actually had pretty interesting conversations. I saw a side of jungkook that I never thought I'd see.
Friends for years and I still failed.
Where are you now jungkook?
Is it too late?
Even after the friendship we had,
Was I still not important to the point where you'd tell me what's happening with you?
For the first time we were friends.
And I couldn't save him.
Out of nowhere Yoongi stands up abruptly "I'm going insane with this silence." He says. Jungyeon goes after him and so do I
"Yoongi, calm down." She says but he just laughs ironically
"Brother, come on, let's talk."
"Talk? Jungkook is dead. I failed. I fucking failed." He starts to scream a painfully loud scream as we all cross the road.
"It was suicide Yoongi, there's nothing we could do."
"We should've been there for him and none of us were."
Jungyeon and I look at each other with guilt.
We tried but maybe Jungkook's issue is deeper than it looked.
Jungyeon tries to grab Yoongi, making his drunk body stop from being ran over.
"GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, I DON'T NEED YOU" he screams
She looks at me crying asking me what to do.
If only I knew...
Last time I saw my brother like this was when our mother died and it was really hard for him. For us.
He usually gets aggressive when he drinks which scares me a lot.
I sit on a bench and close my eyes.
I need to think.
This ain't it.
I need to change this.
I NEED TO CHANGE THIS.
....I went to the past, I tried to be friends with Jungkook, I tried to understand him but that didn't stop him from dying.
I open my eyes and look around.
I have no idea where Yoongi and Jungyeon are.
I panic
I know exactly what I should do but I've been running from it. I don't want to live that day again.
But...I need to help Jungkook.
I try to focus and start to remember the most painful day of my life.
When I realize, I'm in front of Yoongi's home back then.
I hear his agonizing scream and my heart skips a beat.
I run inside to find him breaking everything that's near him.
"MOM" he screams while most of the furniture falls into pieces.
"Yoongi!" I call him right after someone else. I look at my left and...Jungkook?
I'm not quite sure how to react, I mean...Is this THE Jungkook that I'm trying to save or THE Jungkook that is trying to help me?
"Hyung, calm down. Please." he cries
"Calm down? CALM DOWN?" Yoongi laughs loudly in the most sarcastic way.
Jungkook runs to him and forcibly hugs him.
This can't be Jungkook.
He told me he couldn't travel in time, he's stuck there because he's dead.
Our mother died exactly two years before the day I started being friends with Jungkook, which means I'm doing the right thing.
Jungkook and I ended up being friends so how I need to stop this fight.
This is the reason why everyone is so afraid of Yoongi.
When I finally decide what to do I realize everything is out of control.
"STOP IT!" I run towards them only to stop in the middle of the living room.
Think Joyce, what are you gonna do?
"Please Hyung,I need you to stop, stop drinking, stop fighting. You're hurting me, you're hurting all of us."
Jungkook says making me cry.
I wish I didn't have to come here, I didn't want to live this again.
My brother, blood of my blood acting like this...
"Quit being so immature, there's nothing you could do, you weren't even home when it happened."I say
"Don't make me laugh" Yoongi spits on him turning around and looking me in the eyes "Where were you when she died? With your boyfriend. I don't need to blame myself on this one, it's your fault. You should be here taking care of her" he looks me up and down "I'm tired of people telling me how to feel"
"Please brother" Jungkook cries
Yoongi is mad.
Drunk and mad.
"NO" I run in his direction trying to stop him. Instead of hurting Jungkook he breaks a mirror on the wall.
My heart stops and it feels like I see it in slow motion.
Glass is everywhere on the floor and my brother walks away cursing at us.
Jungkook stands up and tries to stop him only to get pushed by him aggressively.
I feel something's different but I'm not quite sure what exactly.
We should let him go.
I do remember a fight but I don't remember seeing them like this.
"Are you okay, Jungkook?"