Astrea
My shoulder burns as I slip into the darkness, it being the only thing that assures me I'm still alive...that, and the sparks I feel on my skin.
Thane...
I can't really hear anything through the pounding in my head, and the ringing in my ears. But I can almost hear him calling for me as he holds me to his warm chest, and carefully tends to my wound...
After that, I don't remember much else...for I drift down into the darkest part of my mind. Another onslaught of painful memories flood my thoughts, bringing back all the grief, fear, and crushing loneliness I've done nothing but try to suppress for all these years.
As I once again find myself being left alone once again, I can't stop myself from crying out to the figure retreating from my memories.
"Please...please don't leave me..." I whimper, heartache tearing a hole through my chest.
"It's okay Snowdrop, it's okay...I'm right here." I hear Thanes voice murmur, feeling his warmth as he presses his forehead to mine gently.
"Don't leave me...don't..." I cry out against better judgement, grabbing on tightly to his shirt, and I feel him lift me up, now I can hear his steady heartbeat thumping against my ear, no doubt I'm pressed to his chest.
"Never, I'll never leave your side Snowdrop. I promise." He whispers in my ear, and it's the last thing I hear before I finally I go completely unconscious.
~~~~~
After I don't know how long, the dark veil between my mind and the world around me finally begins to pull away, and I groan as I fight my heavy eyelids so I can open them. Once I finally win, I blink slowly against the dim light in the room...the curtains are pulled to on the large windows my head is facing, leaving only a sliver of early morning sunlight creeping through. The only other source of light is from a glowing blue clock on a counter in front of me, 5:47 am glowing in the otherwise dark room...
Wait....where exactly am I?
I quickly take a thorough inventory of my surroundings, at least, as thorough as I can with my sluggish brain. Seriously, I feel almost drunk...the last time I felt like this was when I was doped up on pain medication-
Crap. I'm in a hospital.
I remember being shot...the pain ripping through my shoulder, and Thanes horrified expression...
Thane...where is he? Not to mention Nes. But I can smell Thane has been in here, his scent practically saturates the room, and even with my grogginess I can tell he's been in here really recently if he's not here right no-
My eyes widen as I feel something move against my right side, and I slowly turn my head to see Thane next to me, lying halfway onto the bed with his head resting on my stomach...snoring softly as he nuzzles against me.
I can only stare at his wild hair in shock, my heart racing...which the monitor I'm hooked up to picks up on, making it beep faster.
How long has he been here? Wait, how long have I been here?
Trying to settle myself back down, I turn my gaze away and try to pretend he isn't here...focusing on anything else in the room. My eyes flicker over the room, the couch in front of the window, the pictures on the wall, Thane's clothes lying over a bag in a chair...
Damn it.
Sighing, I look down at myself, noticing my left arm is up in a sling. I glare at the object irritably, not liking the idea of having any of my movement restricted...the gowns are bad enough as it is...wait a minute...this isn't a hospital gown, who's clothes am I wearing?
Using my free hand, I pick up the collar of the black fabric and sniff...and heat floods my cheeks as I recognize Thane's scent. I'm wearing his shirt...no wonder his scent is so strong, I'm wearing his clothes!
I lift up the blanket covering my legs to see I'm also wearing a pair of his pajama bottoms, red flannel ones to be exact. Dropping the blanket, I groan and flop my head back against the pillow, hoping to the Goddess he wasn't the one who put these on.
Wait, why do I care? It wouldn't be the first time a guy has seen my body, between doctors tending my injuries, being walked in on while changing, having to sometimes change in the guys locker room...I don't really care that much. Though I do shoot a few withering glances to guys who ogle too long for my preference...though it hasn't happened much.
Besides, it's not like I have much to look at. Even though my athletic training has given me a slimmer figure, it's also left me flat chested...and no to mention the scars I have. I have the body of a Warrior, not the one of a statuesque supermodel that most guys prefer.
So why does it bother me if he saw my body?
*Maybe because he's your beloved?* Says the part of me that's also enjoying wearing his clothes.
It shouldn't bother me, he's probably seen other girls like that, so mine probably doesn't hold any interest for him.
*Okay, now you're just lying to yourself girl.*
Oh, shut up you.
*Come on, you know I'm the rational one here.*
Oh please, you, rational?
*Yes.*
Come on, there is nothing rational about love.
*Who said anything about love?*
My face flushes scarlet as I drop my hand onto my face...I really must be loopy if I'm sitting here having a conversation with myself like a crazy person. Besides, I shouldn't even be thinking about love...for his sake.
I shouldn't...but I want to...
I glance back down at him, eyeing the top of his head curiously. My hand twitches as I stare at the locks of his ruffled hair, wanting to know if it's as soft as it looks...is it as soft as his bear forms fur? I reach my hand towards him, hesitating just over his head....and after a minute or two I gently place my hand in his hair, my body shuddering at both the sparks and the softness of the hair.
It's not as fluffy as his bears fur, but it's still very soft and smooth...I can't resist to urge to gently run my fingers through it, trying my best to tame the silky strands with the one hand I have. I can feel myself settle down as I continue, and Thane's snores gradually becomes a rumbling purr as I work my way back.
I really should stop...
I begin to pull my hand back, only to freeze as Thane shifts against me.
"You don't have to stop Snowdrop, it feels good..." He mumbles, his voice a bit husky from sleep. A shiver runs down my spine at the sound, my blush returning as he looks up at me with gleaming hazel eyes. Before I can move my hand away he grabs it, gently pulling it to his face and kissing the palm, I shiver again as the sparks shoot up my arm...leaving me warm and tingly. I let out a shaky breath as he looks back up at me, my racing heart exposed by the monitor again.
"I'm so happy you're finally awake Snowdrop, I've been worried about you." He murmurs, still holding my hand in his larger ones. I bite my tongue in an effort to resist talking to him, whatever medication is swirling around in my head is impacting my judgment.
"How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?"
I bite my tongue a bit harder, any more and it will start bleeding. I shake my head in a 'no', nothing hurts at all...quite the opposite actually...I feel really good with his hands around mine.
But I can't tell him that, at least, I shouldn't. It would be selfish of me to do so.
"Can you talk to me love? Please? I really want to hear your voice again." My eyes widen as he brings up one of his hands to my face, his thumb gently brushing over my lips. I gasp a little under his warm touch, the monitor continuing to betray me.
"Please love?"
I swallow hard, my entire body shuddering.
"I'm....fine..." I force out, my throat feeling really dry. How long have I been out?
Thane smiles a bit before reaching over to grab a cup of water beside my bed, lifting it to my lips. I take the straw and take a few pulls of cold water, only to take larger sips as it relieves my throat.
"Easy love, not so fast. Take it easy." He chuckles, pulling the cup away. He sets it down beside me as I lick my lips, them being just as dry as my throat.
"Better?"
I nod, but my throat still feels dry...and I'm still incredibly thirsty. I bring my hand to my neck, rubbing it in a futile attempt to get rid of the itchy feeling in it...seriously, how long have I been out?
"I understand. It's been a while since you've hunted, you have been out for over a week." He murmurs, and my eyes nearly bug out of their sockets. A week! No wonder his scent is so potent in here, I haven't fed since the night before I was shot...
"It's also the reason you're injury is healing so slowly, you lost a lot of blood since the bullet hit an artery, not to mention you started getting silver poisoning on the way here."
As I process that, my attention is drawn to the last part. Raising an eyebrow, I look around the room before pointedly looking at him. He chuckles, realizing what he left out.
"We're in Enumclaw, Washington. More specifically, the Silverclaw Warrior Unit. My home...it's the only place I could think of that could provide medical attention without risking getting caught..." He explains, and I can't conceal my shock. I know he left his home years ago due to a lot of issues with his family, which makes it even more obvious that he did it for my sake...
Shaking myself from my thoughts, I point at the shirt I'm wearing and give him another pointed look.
"Oh, the doc had you in a stupid hospital gown, so I asked one of the nurses if she could exchange it for some of my pajamas...she changed you of course, I didn't want to be disrespectful." He murmurs sheepishly, a slight blush on his face. It is admittedly very cute....
No, no, no...don't do that.
"Anyway, are you sure nothing hurts? Your injury is still pretty bad, your shoulder blade was almost completely shattered, so doc has been keeping you on pretty high painkillers for the whole time...but once they wear off you'll be in a lot of pain."
I narrow my eyes, playing with a loose thread on the blanket covering my legs. I figured as much, that's why my head is so swirly feeling and why I don't feel any pain in my shoulder. But it's only temporary...with my high metabolism, it won't be long before I'm in a lot of pain.
"It doesn't have to be though..."
I look up swiftly to see him staring at me intensely, and something in his expression makes me nervous.
"Nes explained some vampire stuff to me while you were out, about how vampires heal faster from serious injuries if they feed on blood."
I swallow hard, part of me knowing what he's going to say next. I turn away from him, not wanting to look at him when he says it.
"But once a vampire finds their mate, only their mates blood will help them heal. Which means if you fed from me, you'd heal much quicker with minimal pain..." He whispers, and I clamp my mouth shut as my fangs make an unwelcome appearance.
"Astrea, I want you to drink my blood."
I clench my eyes shut too, my fangs throbbing with thirst. I shake my head quickly as I place my hand over my mouth and nose, does have any idea what he's asking me? What feeding off him would mean?
"I know what you're going to argue. That because you're venomous and it's fatal to shifters, it's too risky. The only way to ensure that I'm not exposed to your venom is if you mark me first..."
His hand gently strokes my cheek, the warmth making me shake even more.
"I would love nothing more than for you to mark me, but I know you're far from ready for that...that's why I'm willing to risk you feeding without doing it."
My eyes fly open in disbelief, not wanting to believe that he really just said that. Does he have any idea how painful it would be if even one drop of my venom got into his bloodstream? That it would kill him if it wasn't removed in time?
"No." I state fiercely after dropping my hand, I still can't look at him, but I need to stop him from thinking like this.
"Astrea..."
"No. It's too dangerous, I won't put you in that kind of danger."
"I can handle-"
"Damn it Thane! Don't you get it? It could kill you! I could kill you!" I exclaim, and I make the mistake of looking at him...only to see a bizarrely happy expression.
"That's the first time you've said my name..." He murmurs, and I turn away as heat floods my face once again. I try to hold on to my argument, not wanting him to distract me. He deserves a mate that isn't as damaged as I am...one that isn't a monster.
"Like I was saying, I could kill you..."
"I'm not afraid." He answers without hesitation, and it takes me a minute to respond.
"You should be..."
"I'm not." He says again, no hesitation, just honesty....how can he...
"Why-!" I exclaim again, tears welling in my eyes.
"My own mother was afraid of me....why aren't you?" I ask without really thinking, the tears escaping down my cheeks. After a moment of heavy silence, Thane gently turns my chin to face him, and I gasp as I come face to face with gentle, love filled hazel eyes...that are just as watery as mine.
"Because Astrea, I trust you more than anyone else. In the past couple of weeks you've sacrificed everything to keep me safe, your home, your career, your freedom, and even your life. I trust you with my life, because I know no matter what you'd never intentionally hurt me." He murmurs fiercely, and my body trembles as he presses his forehead to mine.
"I'm not afraid of you, Astrea...and I never will be. You could never scare me away."
My heart races even faster, and as his warm breath fans over my face my fangs flick out once more, I'm practically drowning in his scent now.
"Thane..." I whisper, a bit breathless.
"You were willing to risk everything for me, I want to do the same for you." He whispers, and I inhale shakily as he runs his thumb over my lips again. I can see the silent question in his eyes, and what little resolve I have left shatters to pieces as my heart finally wins out...
I don't want to push him away anymore...
I close my eyes and nod, feeling his hands gently cup my cheeks and brush my tears away. I can feel him moving closer, and as his lips finally touch mine I gasp in shock, warmth and sparks explode throughout my body with each kiss, and grasp his shirt tightly in an attempt to pull him closer. My instincts seem to take over as I kiss him back, both of us going from slow and gentle to a bit more fevered as we continue.
Does it always feel this intense? Or is it because we've been holding back?
"Astrea..." He rumbles against my mouth as he pulls away, and for a moment all we do is stare at each other as we catch our breath, his forehead still pressed against mine.
"Go ahead Snowdrop, don't be afraid...I trust you."
He pulls the collar of his shirt to the side, exposing more of his skin. As he repositions himself so that his exposed skin is directly in front of me, I lick my lips nervously.
"Are...are you sure?" I ask.
"Absolutely."
"And you promise you won't leave me?"
He kisses the spot beneath my ear, nuzzling the spot affectionately.
"I promise Snowdrop, I'll always be by your side." He reassures, and I sigh as I use my free hand to pull him closer, my fingers tangling in his hair as I hold his head.
"This might pinch a little..." I whisper before pressing my lips to the curve of his shoulder, and he growls lowly as a shiver courses through his body.
"Astrea?"
"I'm not risking you getting hurt by my venom, so I'm doing this first." I murmur against his skin, and he purrs again as I press another kiss there.
"You...don't have to if you don't want to..."
"I want to." I answer. I've been wanting to, I was just too afraid...but I'm not anymore.
I run my tongue over the spot curiously, his body shuddering as his low growls fill the room. Pressing a few more kisses to the area, I sink my fangs into him, his slight flinch is followed by a moan...which only gets me flustered in response.
"Goddess Snowdrop...." He moans again, and I sigh as I feel our mental link come to life, his thoughts flickering and warm as they enter my head. It feels so good to be connected to him like this...for the first time in years I don't feel lonely.
After a minute I remove my fangs and carefully clean the wound, sealing it shut. Pressing one more kiss there, I look over to see Thane gazing at me dazedly, his chest rumbling.
"I'm ready when you are love." He murmurs, and I turn back and begin working on his neck, I can feel his muscles rippling as I slide my hand down to his back. Once I find the perfect spot at the middle of his neck, I sink my fangs in, and his body shudders as I take my first pull.
Dear Goddess, he tastes even better than he smells...
"Fuck..." He moans, dropping his forehead to my shoulder, and I growl a little as I keep drinking, already feeling my shoulder mending as I continue. I can feel his pleasure through our link, as my own from his blood warming my body...I never imagined it would feel this good.
After taking one last pull, I completely retract my fangs and clean the new wound, removing any remnants of blood. Pulling back, I turn his face to mine, truthfully enjoying the darkening of his eyes.
"Mine..." I murmur, cupping his cheek. He smiles down at me softly, brushing his lips against mine.
"Yours...forever."