Because that's just the way it goes
Disclaimer:
This story will have elements that are references to the life of the author Osamu Dazai. And Dazai has been given some traits of the author's life,
For example, like Osamu Dazai, he will be the eighth surviving child of the Tsushima family, and his father is politically important but unlike Osamu Dazai, his dad did not die from lung cancer nor suffer from it, and also, unlike Osamu Dazai, he does not become an author. He doesn't develop an interest in an author who commits suicide, causing him to halt his career nor anything that happened to the author from that point forward, but instead, the pressure from school, his parents and successful siblings has driven him to be suicidal.
Started (day//month/year): 15/5/2019
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Second by second the time passed by until the phone beside the bed started playing the song it did every morning at the same time. It was the time he had to get up.
A loud groan was heard as the brunet opened his eyes, he sat up, rubbing his eyes before turning his alarm off. Oh, just how tired he had grown of that song already.
He had to constantly change the song, for waking up to it morning by the morning after most of the time, a not so well slept night, made him grow tired of the songs fast.
Sometimes he would keep the same song for a month, sometimes a week, sometimes only a few days, it depended on the song.
But, he knew he had to get up, and it wasn't the song's fault. That's just the way it goes.
After a moment, he lazily swung his legs over the edge of the bed and got up.
Still tired, he made his way over to the bathroom.
Once he reached his destination, he walked over to the sink, washing his hands -making sure he didn't wet the bandages he had around his arms- and of course, also his face.
His gaze wandered up to the mirror, staring at his own image. His hand moved up to the mirror as well, tracing the edge of the white bandages around his neck. Then the hand moved up his jaw to his cheek and eyes, his tired eyes, that lacked any emotion.
He just wanted to stay home, but he couldn't. He just wanted to end it then and there, end the pain, ends the suffering, but he couldn't.
They would never let him.
That's just the way it goes.
He had to go to school, to class, to study, to get good grades, pass all his tests, he didn't have time for friends, he couldn't make time for friends, besides, how could he match up to their expectations while using his time on something like friends. Again, just the way it goes.
Not really feeling hungry, he just got himself a glass of water. Even if he was hungry, he wouldn't have wasted his time on that, no, he couldn't have wasted his time on that.
He had to make use of all the time he had, to please them. He couldn't disappoint them, and that's why he worked so hard.
He walked back to his bedroom, through his small messy apartment, he didn't have time to clean it, not that it mattered to him anyway, he could live with the mess.
His bedroom was rather boring, school and other books were scattered on the wooden floor, along with pencils, erasers and a few papers.
The walls had no posters, paintings, or anything.
After putting on some decent clothing, he sat down on the floor, in a small space where there were no books, he didn't care if he sat on a paper, they weren't as important.
He grabbed a book and a pencil.
Doing some extra tasks could gain him bonus points, so that's what he did.
He was utterly bored.
He wished he could lay down.
He wished he could cry and let it out.
He wished he didn't have to work and study all the time.
He wished he could stop.
But he couldn't. And that's just the way it goes.
He did tasks until it was time. Time to leave for school.
Dazai grabbed his bag and walk out of his apartment, to the school.
While he waited for the bell to ring so he could go to class, he eyed the people around him. Some were talking with friends, some were on their phones, some were reading, etc. He just stood there, watching them, as he tried to keep the fake smile on his face as usual.
His eyes landed on a small group of people that were yelling, supposedly, they were arguing. His theory was confirmed when one of them angrily started walking away, his arms crossed over his chest.
The male was rather short from what he could see, he had ginger hair and blue eyes. He supposed was alright looking.
Not that he liked other men. He couldn't like other men. They wouldn't let him be with another man. He had to get married to a successful and beautiful woman, that's what they had planned for him, that's what they expected from him.
The ginger stopped on his tracks, looking around. He probably was unsure of where to go. As his head turned to Dazai's direction, he could get a bit better look at his dace, since he wasn't standing too far. He had to admit, even if the boy's head turned to another direction almost as soon as it had turned to his, from what he could see, he really was alright looking.
He shook his head. No, what was he even thinking about?
Soon, a sudden realisation hit him, it probably looked like he was staring. It wasn't like that at all, right? He just had to look away before he was caught, or the shortie could get the wrong idea. And so, he turned his head away, his heart beating fast, just hoping that it would be confirmed that he wasn't caught.
He heard steps, someone was nearing him.
"Hey, you!" He heard a voice say before him. Since he didn't talk to other people unless needed to, he only got to know who it was once he turned his head. It was the short guy who had been a part of the argument.
"Mind your own business. And stop looking at me like a creep! Who even are you anyway- actually, I don't care." Said the ginger in an annoyed tone.
Dazai didn't know what to say. It took him a moment before he managed to come up with something. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking. Silly me gazing off to the distance. Sorry, shortie", was what he managed to say after almost ten seconds of awkward silence. A fake smile was on his face as usual.
"Sure, whatever."
The ginger turned around, hands in his pockets. "And don't call me a shortie, I'm still growing." He was ready to walk away, until: "How long are you without that hat anyway? Are you even allowed to wear it in school?" That was the biggest mistake he could have made.
Before Dazai could even react he felt a sharp pain in his stomach, he had been punched.
The boy grabbed Dazai by his collar and glared at him. "I said, I'm still growing!" He yelled.
Honestly, the punch wasn't a big deal. He hated pain but was used to it by now. He just raised his arms in the air. "Sorry, sorry. It came out ruder than it was supposed to, I apologise." He just wanted to get out of this mess.
His collar was released as the boy ran his hand through his hair.
"Sorry, I overreacted. I'll make it up to you." He let go of Dazai's collar.
"I don't know if I have time-" He tried to say.
"What about the weekend?"
He sighed, so there was no way out then, huh? "Saturday is fine I guess."
The boy nodded, clearly thinking of how he was supposed to make it up. "How about we go to the mall and I'll buy you one thing you want? Don't expect anything expensive though!"
The offer didn't sound too bad at all, maybe the brunet could even get a new book. Maybe even one he could actually read for his own enjoyment, or maybe he should just get one for studying, should he even get a book? "Yeah, sounds okay."
"I'm Nakahara Chuuya, by the way. Just thought it would be rude not to introduce myself." Chuuya offered his hand for Dazai to shake, at least he had some kind of manners.
Shūji (/Shuuji, suit yourself) Tsushima, that was his real name, the name he had been given by his parents at birth, but not the name he wanted to be called by anyone aside from his family. He didn't want to be acknowledged as the son of Gen'emon Tsushima, so used the name Osamu Dazai, he preferred the name anyway. "Dazai Osamu." He grabbed Chuuya's hand, giving it a shake, before immediately letting go.
"I'll give you details on Saturday later. Don't think this means we are friends or something."
"Don't worry, I don't need someone like you as a friend."
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Finished: 17/5/2019