Park Jimin's POV
I groaned after the ray of sunlight hits my eyes. I faced the other way of the bed where Jiwon was laying and I slowly opened my eyes only to see an empty space. I blinked my eyes for a few times to clear my vision and then I scratched my eyes. Yawning, I sat up and stretched my arms, getting ready to get up.
She must be down stairs or walking by the sea.
I stood up and found myself still naked because of last night and I remembered that I actually came inside her. Does that mean she's ready to be with me forever? I mean, why would she let me release inside her if she isn't, knowing that it can risk her in becoming pregnant right?
A wide smile made its way on my lips and I started to jump in excitement. If I came inside her and she's not on pills then... FUCK! Am I going to be a father?! I'm going to be a father aren't I?! Woah, I need to work harder for our future then and we really need to get married as soon as possible!
Dangling. There was something dangling below me which made me stop myself from jumping.
Shit! We should talk about family planning too! I can't wait!
Excited, I rushed my way inside the bathroom to take a nice bath and clean myself since I reek of sex. I quickly put on some clothes and fixed the bed but I suddenly noticed a paper plastered on the pillow beside me which I didn't even notice earlier. I stopped from fixing the bed and took the paper.
As you read this letter, I am no longer by your side. You mean a lot to me but I am choosing to leave you for our own good. Don't ever doubt those three words that I told you. I really love you so much, Jimin.
This is selfish, I know, but it's for our good. You deserve someone better than I do. I'm breaking up with you, Jimin. Please don't look for me and find someone else.
What? Does this mean? But we are going to have our baby soon! What the hell is she talking about?!
I started panicking and feeling anxious because of the words written in the letter from her. I don't get anything at all! Why would she say and do this?
Thank you for making me happy. I will forever be grateful for everything that I shared with you. I will keep and cherish the memories of you and I, Minmin.
But this is the end of us. I'm already setting you free, my love.
Yours Truly,
Wonwon
Tears started brimming down my eyes as my knees felt weak that I fell down on the bed. I crumpled the paper on my hand and threw it away as I felt my heart getting shattered with each second that passed. My whole body was shaking from confusion, hurt, and again; confusion. I don't understand! We were so happy last night! How can this be possible?!
She must be joking.
I quickly searched for my phone on my pants that I was wearing yesterday and immediately dialed her number. My hands were shaking. I placed the phone in front of my ears but instead of her voice, I only heard that she's out of reach. She's not picking up!
Panicking, I quickly went down and ran to my pick-up truck. I drove as fast as I could back to Seoul to search for her. She can't go anywhere. She's just either in their house, in the hospital, or in the Ice cream shop that she is working at.
I took a glance at the time and stepped on the gas to increase my speed. She's still in work when I get back and that's for sure.
The distance between us feels like a journey to take forever. Fuck, I wanna see her so bad, hug her tight, kiss her, and hear her tell me that she was just kidding and that she won't ever leave me because now, I can't honestly find myself with someone else other than her. I can't let her go especially now that there is a huge possibility that she is going to bare my child and soon, give birth. Once our baby is born, he needs to be taken care of her and of course, me; because I'm his father. Soon, we are going to start our family.
It's hard to drive fast while there are tears forming in your eyes despite of wiping them almost everytime but as the time passed, my tears stopped from falling but still, my heart was left confused and broken.
At last, my drive from Busan to Seoul that felt like forever has come to an end. I pulled over in front of the shop where Jiwon was working and immediately went down. As I entered, my eyes immediately searched for her but she's not here.
"Uhm, where is Jiwon?" I asked the owner of the shop. She looked at me, confused. "Wasn't she with you? She didn't come to work today."
"Oh, uhm, okay. Thanks," I just said, feeling down but I'm still hopeful. She can be in the hospital today. Quickly, I started driving on the way to the hospital.
Running. I kept on running and running until I got inside Dawon's room but he was nowhere to be found anymore. I came out of the room and asked the nurse who happened to just come out of the room beside Dawon's. "Excuse me but where is the patient in this room?"
"Oh, he was released a few days ago."
What?
I nodded at her. "Oh, is that so. Thanks anyway." I smiled at her before running back in the parking area to go to my last destination which was the only place that I am hoping so much to see her. She can't be in any other places besides the ice cream store, the hospital, and their house and if we include the evening, she's probably in the club.
As I reach the exact door of their unit, my head tilted in the side from confusion. It's locked. Like it's literally locked with a padlock.
"Are you interested in that apartment?" Someone asked from beside me. I look at her in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"That unit is available and I assume you are interested in renting since you're looking and standing there." She removed her cigarette off from her mouth and blew the smoke out.
"But where is the former owner of this place?" I asked.
"Eesh," she rolled her eyes and smoked on her cigarette again. "That girl didn't pay rent for months and we made a deal that if she's not able to pay me by the third month, I'm going to rent that unit to someone else."
"Where is she now?" I asked, my hands shaking and sweating. She's already homeless?
The lady shrugged. "I don't know."
I cursed inside my mind and thanked her for the information before rushing back inside my car. Where can I possibly find her?! She's not in the hospital nor the store and she lost her apartment. Where else can she be found?
My phone vibrated inside my pocket and my heart jumped in happiness after seeing her name popped on the screen of my phone. I immediately opened the message that came from her.
Wonwon:
I'm sorry, Jimin. But please stop finding me anymore. We're over.
No. We're not over, Jiwon. I'm never letting you go unless I see you happy with someone else. I won't let you go until I hear you tell me that you don't love me anymore. I'll find you and fix everything between us. I have no idea what the problem is that's why you left but we will fix it, baby. We'll get back together.
I held my phone tight as I paced up my way back inside my car, contacting her but she's out of reach again.
There was still one place where I could still see her. Later, at the club. Maybe I can find her there.
***
Lee Jiwon's POV
"I'm sorry," I told my boss after letting her know that I am resigning. I know that Jimin is looking for me by now and if I keep my job in this shop, he will surely find me and ask me to get back together. I can't lie to him that I already love someone else but I did cheat while we were still together. Chanyeol and I are already together for a few days ㅡ almost a week now. That's cheating, right?
"That's sad. But you know, your boyfriend was looking for you earlier. His eyes were swollen too. Did something happen?"
I only smiled. Something bad did happen but no one really has to know. "We're okay. We just stayed up late and I needed to immediately visit my brother and I forgot to tell him." I lied, holding onto my phone tightly.
After talking with the owner, I left the store and sat at the bus stop, going back to the hospital. Today is the release of the results if I am able to be a donor for Dawon's transplant or not. I'm nervous. What if we don't match? We have no relatives with us anymore. Mom is dead and Dad... well as if he would know and would even care.
Tears started brimming down my eyes again. I leaned my head on the wall beside me and I opened my phone and saw that Jimin has called me many times and texted me many times already. I sighed and sent him a text message before turning off my phone again. I should change my number so he won't be able to contact me anymore. I want to back out from my decision to be honest. It was stupid and I was just a fool to do it. I'm half regreting because it hurts to break up with the person that I really love and be with someone who I don't really love but I don't regret choosing to save Dawon's life. It's hard, but I need to really forget about Jimin and learn to love Chanyeol. I think I can eventually love him. He's a nice person and he is very loving. The only thing that keeps me going is Dawon's will to live that even if I'm dying inside, just seeing him fighting makes me want to fight with him too.
He wants to be cured and so do I, that's why I even ended up doing the most stupid decision that I ever made. It's stupid, really stupid to leave the person that you love when he can help you but I was stupid. I was very vulnerable that time and I didn't know what to do anymore. My pride did eat me and look at what happened now. I'm stupid. I'm so fucking stupid.
The bus going on the way to the hospital arrived. Chanyeol was still on duty so he can't be with me to see the results. I really want it to become a match so that they can perform the transplant as early as possible and so that my brother can be cured already.
My hands feel so cold as I met Dawon's doctor inside his clinic. I'm being anxious again because of the train of what ifs running inside my mind.
I knocked three times with my shivering hands before entering his clinic. He smiled at me and gestured his hand for me to have a sit. I bowed and took a sit on the chair in front of his desk.
"Have a look for yourself," he said and gave me the envelope containing the results. I held on to the brown envelope tightly and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply.
Please be a match... I said in repeat inside my head before opening the envelope. My hands were sweating. I'm nervous.
"Not a match?" I whispered to myself after reading the results and then I looked at the doctor in confusion. What do I do?
"I'm sorry, Miss Lee, but you aren't a match for Dawon. Perhaps you have any other relatives like your mother or father? Maybe one of them can match with Dawon." He explained and I held on to the envelope tightly again. We have no one.
"Our mother is dead," I said as tears started to pour down my eyes again. All night, I was crying because of my broken heart from Jimin and I's break up and yet I'm still crying but now because of a broken heart from the results.
"What about your father?" He asked.
My jaw clenched in anger by just hearing anything related to him. He abandoned us a long time ago, why would I still bother his life? If I know, he is happy with his family with that slut he chose over my mom. "I haven't heard about him since ten years ago."
"At least try finding him. Dawon needs it, Miss Lee. Aside from his chemo, it's the only option left for him to recover fast." He gave me a reassuring smile. I sighed and nodded even if I don't have any idea how to find and talk to my father again, heck, I don't even know if I can talk to him again. The last time that I saw him at Jiree Unnie's birthday, I broke down and cried. When I saw him, the wounds that he left which I thought were healed already was opened again. It was still thereㅡ the memory of how he abandoned us.
Getting out of the clinic, I felt my knees going weak. I leaned myself on the wall behind me and slowly took a sit on the bench just beside me. In times like this, when I'm feeling down and hopeless, I always surpass it alone but that was until Jimin came to me. He always brings hope to my world. He was always there to fight with me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. He was always there to hug me and be the shoulder that I can cry on when I'm breaking down from all of my problems but he's not with me anymore. I left him. The stupid me left him because of my love for Dawon.
Without him, I guess I'll have to leave my own misery and pain all inside me. I'm once again feeling the death of me inside with no one even knowing. Just like before, I only have myself to love and to comfort. But can I still love myself even after hurting the person that loved me for who I am? Can I even forgive myself? Can I still go on without him when I got so used of being with him already?
Can I still go on without you, Jimin? I thought but I chuckled to myself and shook my head. I should go on without you, Jimin. Like how I used to be, I will keep on going on for my brother.