Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalio...

Por Unprettier

2.8K 153 18

Because life is still a beach. Accounts of the author's failed attempts at interpersonal interaction, part de... Mais

Lovescream (intro kuno)
Everything is a Copy: The Fine Line Between Replication and Duplication
Yeah, you're so wild. You and everyone else!
Slow Animals
Money Can't Buy Me Charisma (Welcome to Hell!)
God makes man and this is the devil's finishing touches.
iWant2Believe: When Pigs Fly (no, 'di mo pwede isakay 'yung baboy sa helicopter)
Lip Service: Strawberry Jam + Pineapple Juice, feat. Lusaw na Tsokolate
I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)
Primordial Soup for the Soul
Soldier, Conman, Artist, Lover
Zoonomia
★ No parking dito, gago! (selfie muna sa Jollibee while you wait)
Soy un Dorito: Vegan police and remapping the human soul.
AAALIEEENNN!!!
★ I'm a landmine filming my own fake death: Going on a feel... field trip
gusto ko lang talaga mag-update dahil halloween ngayon (shit galing sa drafts)
From Kiss to Kisses
Run to the Hills, Run for Your Lives! (Fun Run edition)
Lay Off the Paint Chips: Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam
Last Night, a DJ Saved My Life. (get me outta here)
Things Destroyed While You Wait. (Going on a feel trip's bonus content.)
Here's Johnny!
Forever in debt to your priceless advice: Diamonds are forever...
Planet Xerox, or "Everything's broken, everyone's pissed off"
Ang Babae sa CR ng Starbucks
Second Sem, or How I Learned to Stop Living and Love the Bomb
Math vs. Unprettier: Somewhere along the way...
Holler, Hell-er! (Welcome to Hell, Part 2)
I Hope Your Fish is a Piranha in Disguise (Should've Called PETA Up on Your Ass)
Aristotle, Harambe, and Tit Hairs
Going to the Arcade! (Unprettier Becomes a Gamer Ghorl)
Sabi nga ni Lil Peep at Selena Gomez, I'm "Falling Down!"

Bittersweet Migraine: Dumplings at Kangkong ang Susi sa Tagumpay

54 4 0
Por Unprettier

Sabog na update, because apparently somebody here can't form coherent paragraphs anymore. Yata.

[1] It's 3 AM and my roommate's goddamn alarm rings at a teen-making-her-gurlfrans-listen-to-bieber-songs frequency for 30 minutes straight and I'm the only one waking up?!? This has got to be a sick, cruel joke. Buti pa si Unprettier, naka-MyPhone. Kailangang mag-MyPhone ang buong Pilipinas. Or 'yung roommates ko na lang. *Saleslady voice* kung gagamit ka ng MyPhone, ikaw lang ang makakarinig ng alarm kung naka-earphones ka. Walang magigising kundi ikaw... baka pati ikaw 'di magising. Naglagay na rin kami ng Mobile TV at F1 Race, kung gusto mong magmukhang may textmate ka para walang mag-small talk sa 'yo sa inattendan mong reunion.

[2] Naisip ko lang... mas masahol ba talaga ang ipis kumpara sa plaster bagworm? Nakapatay ako ng maliit na ipis sa dorm noong isang araw (WOO) dahil bawal ang mga ipis na walang titulo sa loob ng cabinet ko. Cabinet. Alam kong hindi mabantot ang cabinet ko, hindi ko lang alam kung ano'ng nahithit ng gagong 'yun at naisipan niyang pumasok doon sa lecheng cabinet. Gayunpaman, bwisit pa rin ang plaster bagworm. At least makakatulog ako nang mahimbing sa dorm dahil wala akong pinoproblemang plaster bagworm na epal sa pader. Dapat maging extinct na ang mga hinayupak na lecheng pesteng ito. Sana pwede silang hanapan ng kapalit sa food web.

[3] Naisip ko rin... kung sumali ako ng Mr. and Ms. Freshie contest chenes at naging ka-partner ko 'yung crush ko (na nakasali roon), hindi kaya ako magiging plebeian nutjob ngayon? I mean, kahit hindi niya ako maging partner, mapapansin pa rin ako. Tapos baka maging crush din niya ako. Tapos magiging kadiring couple kami na nagsusuot ng couple shirt na may Comic Sans at nagsusubuan ng ice cream sa Robinsons. At magpapakain ng pizza sa mga pusa. Tapos meron na rin akong guardian angel who'll watch over me para hindi ako linggo-linggong nadadapa sa sidewalk. Alam kong kapag sinabi ko 'to, para na rin akong nagtawag ng quasi-kulto league of angry netizens na iikot sa akin sabay chant ng "aral muna bago landyot HUNGHANG!" 520 times. Ba't ba? Nag-aaral naman kasi ako! At nag-eenjoy ako sa pag-aaral! Right..?

P.S. Yes, they did consider making ME the block's representative sa Mr. and Ms. Freshie contest at one point in time (please stop laughing). Buti na lang hindi ako ang isinali. Magmumukha lang akong longganisang may shades sa photoshoot at ang stage presence ko ay negative five. 'Di hamak na mas matino sa akin 'yung isinali ng block dahil na-realize na rin nila na magmumukha lang kaming kaawa-awa kapag ako 'yung pinasuot ng gown at pinasayaw sa auditorium.

P.P.S. Kay crush nga pala... mayroong Great Wall. But... I'm like 3/32 Chinese, hindi ba counted 'yun?




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