Yes, I am crazy

By mf_queen48

256K 8.3K 1.5K

I don't know when it happened, or how, but I know I'm crazy. Nothing more, nothing less. Or well, maybe add w... More

Chapter 1 - I'm not insane
Chapter 2 - Hunter
Chapter 3 - The bucket list
Chapter 4 - The prank
Chapter 5 - A fricking gun!?
Chapter 6 - Kidnapped
Chapter 7 - I'm to young to die!
Chapter 8 - McDonalds
Chapter 9 - Red ostrich
Chapter 10 - Code Orange!
Chapter 11 - Steve, a.k.a a scissor.
Chapter 12 - When did I ever paint a wall green?
Chapter 13 - My true side... Or just another weird one?
Chapter 14 - That's exactly what a stormtrooper would say!
Chapter 15 - Soon. So close
Chapter 16 - Bertha, are you a potato?
Chapter 17 - Sleep is for the weak
Chapter 18 - Who am I?
Chapter 19 - Inner ninja
Chapter 20 - The oncoming war
Chapter 21 - What room?
Chapter 23 - Officially crazy
Chapter 24 - Asshole 2.0
Chapter 25 - An early death
Chapter 26 - The mimer?
Chapter 27 - 76
Chapter 28 - I'm literally dead
Chapter 29 - Piece of pie
After
Epilogue
ANNOUNCEMENT TIME!

Chapter 22 - How I ended up ruling the world

5.5K 195 5
By mf_queen48

Samantha's POV

After discovering what Lorentz name had actually been all along, I also came to the conclusion that he was in fact a spy working for the organization Prada, he would end up having three children and that I was very amazing indeed. Probably a unicorn. Wouldn't surprise me. Nothing could, anymore; I was simply to awesome and smart to be surprised by anything - seeing as I already knew it.

Deciding to test and prove this theory, I tried hard to come up with something I didn't know. I already knew how the universe was created (by me, obviously), how it would eventually end (cow-aliens, duh) and that there was a secret organization that worked on how to create bunnies. I simply couldn't come up with anything not already a known fact by me. 

Ce decided to make a remark on that, 'Well, duh. Of course you don't know what you don't know, because you don't even know that the fact exist.'

I totally understand what you mean, Ce. But unfortunately for you, I already knew this, thus proving my point exactly. Thank you for participating in this scientific, totally legit test diagnosing me as the smartest person alive.

'Intelligent people doesn't know that they are intelligent, while dumb people tend to think of themselves as brilliant,' Ce smartly said and I crossed my arms over my chest defensively.

"Well, one thing I do know is that you must be very dumb if that is the case."

Ce didn't say anything, probably to stumped by my brilliance to come up with anyting remotely dignifying to say.

'Yes, that is why I'm silent,' Ce said sarcastically, agreeing to my statement in full.

I was simply to smart for this world. Yes, I should create my own universe, with people as smart -but not too smart- as me, and unicorns and castles made up of chocolate and pirates, and fairies and- and- no, I actually think any world wouldn't need anything more than that. As long as there are unicorns, I'm fine.

Wait, if I'm fine right now, does that mean there are unicorns? Must be the only explanation.

"Pot! Guess what!" I interrupted something Pot was yelling and jumped a little out of excitement. "Alright, I'll just say it; unicorns exist!" I already knew that, but the message needs to be spread!

And that is how I ended up taking over the world. Yeah, yeah - I know. Kinda hard to imagine, right? That someone like me - awesome, unicorn (without a doubt) and fabulous - would grant the world an amazing ruler, all without even asking for something in return! Yes, I made for a great dictat- queen! And my plans didn't stop ther-   

'You do not rule the world, Samantha'  Ce suddenly said, rudely interrupting my grand ranting for no reason at all, just so that she could tell lies. No, this would not due!

With a plan starting to form in my head, I stomped out of the room, cracking my knuckles to appear more intimidating, then swearing as it hurt. However, I remained stoic as I with determined steps walked out of the room and into another, this one occupied by two boys and a girl, seemingly in a heated argument. They barely acknowledged me as the girl started yelling something, and one of the boys responded by an equally loud voice. 

I shook my head at their display of aggressiveness, and knew I had to do something about it. Because, you see, unicorns can not handle bad energy, and if I wanted to collect my army- I mean very-nice-horde-of-very-nice-unicorns-who-won't-hurt-anyone, I had to get rid of the fighting. 

I sighed - because I knew my awesomeness shouldn't be wasted on such trivial things as these - before stepping into their little bubble of hostility, my hands up with my palms showing in a gesture of peace. 

"Now, there is no need for-" I started calmly, but was then ferociously attacked for no reason at all. 

The two who had previously been screaming at each other, didn't even waste a glance at me before they both yelled, "Shut up!" Then they continued to quarrel. 

I placed a hand on my chest, offended by their rude attitude. Things were worse than I'd thought. I had to go on about this in a different way. 

After some heavy pondering of what to do, in which the fight between the couple only seemed to be getting worse, I finally came up with a plan to tackle the newest problem. 

Literally tackle them. 

The fighting people didn't even seem to notice as I prepared to smash into them, and it wasn't before I was already sprinting that the guy standing warily beside them saw me. His eyes widened almost comically, but he didn't have any time to react before I had already connected with my intended target.

Me and the guy both tumbled violently to the ground, me on top, he too surprised to do anything other than let out a grunt as the impact on the floor met us. 

The girl, who had just some seconds ago screamed, now stood silent in shock and stared as I pinned down her colleague. She managed to splutter some words, incoherent to me and the guy beneath me finally seemed to realize what had happened, and tried to push me of him. 

I, however, didn't relent and placed my arm on his throat, pressing him down successfully. My face was just inches away from his and I stared hard into his wide eyes.  

"There is a disturbance in the force." The guy looked at me like I was crazy. "The unicorns can't step forward," my voice was serious, though I could see he still thought I was nuts. That was okay, as long as the unicorns felt welcomed they could think whatever they wanted. 

The guy opened his mouth to say something probably stupid, but I pressed harder with my arm and he coughed instead. "You are going to help me find them." 

"Come on slouches! We are loosing them!" I waved with my hand as I sat in the tree, gesturing for my loyal companions to hurry up. Some groaned tiredly, while others quietly shuffled closer. 

It had taken some time, but soon I had collected most of the people inside the house, and was now aiming to catch the ones outside. It was, after all, a known fact that unicorns are more drawn to crowds of people where the energy is at its peak. 

Some of the humans hadn't given up that easily, and right now we were hunting for some escapees. I would've gotten angry, but knew that I had to be happy for the unicorns to approach me. So it was with a smile that I jumped down from the branch I had been crouched upon and started to stalk the crowd of nervous people with wary gazes that had collected behind some trash, looking around for me and my group. They would soon realize you just couldn't escape from me. 

I was closing in on them, and no one had yet to notice me, when a voice suddenly was heard, coming from the mansion's open window above. I stopped and listened, as did the others in hiding. 

"Fudging idiot! You did this! STOP-" I gasped with horror as I could almost feel the anger even from here. This must be the reason none of the unicorns were here yet; Lorentz was screaming his but of. I had to stop this. 

I turned on my heel and sprinted back, heading for the entrance to the big house. 

I banged open the door to the room I had heard them screaming in, yelling, "STOP IN THE NAME OF ALL RAINBO- oh." It was the wrong room, and I quickly moved on to the next, taking a deep breath, preparing to start the screaming again. 

I once again banged a door open, but as soon as I did so, I was drowned in screaming voices trying to be heard amongst the chaos. Most people yelled things like: "Kick him out!" while others seemed more cool and said things that mostly revolved around the subject of putting someones head on a spike, or letting the bees have him. 

This was not good; no way unicorns would come to meet me if they kept doing this. So I elbowed my way to the middle and seeing Hunter being the leader of the screaming against what I had previously thought a zombie called Toy, I tackled him down and stepped onto his chest. My balance was perfect and though Lorentz tried to roll away, I just stepped on him, causing him to try to protect himself. Having subdued him, I turned to the angry folk mob that seemed on the verge of drawing their pitch forks. Stupid people. There were no pitch forks around here.  

"You are stupid." Having that fact out in the open, they suddenly silenced and took a step back, the truth in the fact must have been overwhelming for them. "Roy here - if that is even his real name-"

"It's not," Roy quietly interrupted me and I glared at him, urging him to keep silent and not interrupt whatever important thing I was about to say. 

"Roy here did not draw on your faces." I saw that they didn't believe me. There was no doubt on their faces about that. "Now, I know your small pea-sized brains can't handle this kind of information, but frankly I don't care. Unicorns exist and I'm going to team up with them and you're going to help me, whether you like it or not. But you have to like it. Love it. Okay?" That last was more a threat than a question. Though I don't ever threat anyone. Ever. "Or else..." That last thing I said with a warning, promising anyone not to mess with me. 

"Or else what?" Some stupid person decided to ask. I turned to glare at him and stepped extra hard on Hunters chest, almost to prove my point. 

"Or else I won't invite you to my universe." 

Silence. Then someone laughed. And someone else. Just some seconds later, everyone was laughing hard, clutching their stomachs with tears in their eyes. 

That's it! No one is getting invited to my universe!

~~~
My brother stomped hard on something in the grass
Father - What was that?
Brother *very serious voice* - I don't know, but it's dead now at least.

Gif: Samantha (Cara Delevingne) dancing

Video: An edit? Multifandom/Radioactive by RossElla

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