"Hola."
I smile, grateful to hear the familiar, warm voice through mom's phone.
"Abuela, how are you?" I ask, motioning for Ronnie to join me.
We usually spend thanksgiving with her, or at least we used to. We couldn't book tickets in time and she's waiting till Christmas to visit. I also think she simply wants to give us more time to adjust.
Give me more time.
Abuela has always been the person I've hid from the most in life. Ever since the day I met her, when I ruined her flower garden, she's offered wisdom. Even if I wasn't ready to hear it.
"I'm good, mi Amor, simply watching the parade." She offers kindly.
A tradition we used to do together, sighing my eyes flick up to our own tv. "Same."
But it's not really the same.
"Abuela!" Ronnie cries, barreling into the room.
"Hola, my child. How is your new school?" She chuckles, always ready for my sister's energy.
God bless her.
Ronnie snacks on a pear, "Amazing. I have a friend, her names Saffy."
"Wonderful, is your brother having the same luck?"
She knows Ronnie won't lie. "Yeah, actually he's friends with her sister-"
"And brothers." I finish, not wanting my grandmother on the same love blind path as my mother.
We're friends.
She chuckles, "Ah, yes, your friend."
Why did she use the singular word, "I have friends."
I feel like a two-year-old. What's next, I stomp my foot and storm off?
"Mi Amor, tell me about them."
So I do, "Ella and Stella are best friends. James is dating Stella, I basically helped them get together, and Ella is with Sage but they're not dating."
"Sounds complicated."
"Very much so." I agree, remembering the times I would go with her to get her hair done and gossip with the salon ladies. "Sage is one of five kids. Saffron is the youngest."
"She's my friend Abuela, we do everything together." Ronnie interjects.
She's not kidding. I've never seen my sister so attached to someone, but then again the move was difficult.
"And then there's Sterling and Silver, twins who act nothing alike but are totally the same. Sage is probably becoming my best friend though."
Things are easy, no invasive questions.
"He sounds wonderful, I'm happy you found him." Abuela says as mom walks into the room, mashed potatoes all over her face.
Looks like dad's taking over the food prep.
"So am I." She agrees.
Me too.
"And then there's Scarlett!" Ronnie yells, eating some of the potato falling off of mom.
Yeah, I guess I should mention her. "Yeah, she's in my grade. We've become pretty good friends."
"He thinks she's pretty." Ronnie giggles, running from the room.
"I do not!" James is gonna get an earful when I see him.
"Ashton Brecken!" My Mom and Abuela scold at the same time.
"Fine." I grumble, embarrassed. "I can think someone's pretty in a platonic way. She misheard a conversation."
Those few words might cost me a lot today.
"Of course." She agrees, I wish I could see her face right now.
Mom and Abuela catch up so I grab my phone, checking the snaps waiting for me. Nothing exciting, Stella's playing piano and Ella's cleaning. Scarlett, though, her snap is filled with bedhead and a dazed look on her face.
Someone definitely slept in.
A laugh escapes as I reply, rough night?
She replies, her hair wrapped in a towel. Had to prepare for the rough day somehow.
Fair enough.
"Ashton." Mom snaps, hitting the counter.
Startled, I drop my phone. "What?"
"Abuela asked you a question."
Oh, that's not rude at all. "Sorry, Abuela, I was talking to a friend."
"A specific, curly haired friend." Mom says into her coffee cup.
"Again, Sage would be insulted you forgot about him." I reply, technically not lying. He snapped me and I replied.
She sends me a knowing look while my grandmother chuckles, "I understand, I'll call back later once you've had your dose of friends."
Well, I feel bad to say the least, but she hangs up before I can apologize again.
*****
Today sucks.
Everywhere I look on social media I find people posting about how blessed they are. With their stupid families and stupid friends and stupid relationships.
No one's ever grateful for someone like me.
Taking the food from mom I walk ahead, knocking on the front door of a large White House. I've seen nice houses, the Mackenzie's take that to a whole new level.
"Thank God you're here." Ella cries, flinging the door open.
Blinking at her adamant joy, I glance behind me. "I'm sorry to break it to you but Sage isn't hiding behind my back."
Pulling me inside she rolls her eyes, "No shit. James and Stella had to make a stop for cheese, and they took Sam with them, so I've been stuck here with all the parents."
Oh. "That sucks."
Leading me into the kitchen, she sighs, "Don't worry, you're about to learn just how badly that sucks."
What the– before I can even ask a tall, blonde woman steps in front of me.
"Hello, Ashton, I'm Jill, Ella's Mom, so nice to finally meet you." She offers, hugging me.
"Um, hi. Where can I put the potatoes?" Yeah, I'm a real charmer with the parents.
Leading me to the table, she pats my cheek before going to find my parents. Weird.
"Ashton." I jump, turning to find a short, Asian woman glaring up at me.
"Yes?" I ask, slightly afraid.
"Kim Hollins, Stella's mother." She extends her hand and I shake it, trying to ignore her iron grip.
"Nice to meet you." Hopefully.
She offers me a long look, examining my entire body before two men step forward, one gently moving her back.
"I'm Jacob, Stella's dad." He shakes my hand and I brace myself for the worst. "I promise I'm not as scary as my wife."
Smiling weakly I move on to who must be Ella's dad. "I'm Dave, nice to meet you."
Unlike Jacob, he gives me a solid grip, but it's difficult to find a man wearing a kiss the cook apron to be intimidating.
"Okay, Ash and I will just get going." Ella declares, saving me from any more uncomfortable conversations.
We head upstairs and into her room, which I should mention is huge. She begins to rummage through her things, and I panic.
"Sage, won't, like, get upset if I'm in here? Right?" Because some dudes would be ready to throw hands by now.
Ella snorts, not pulling her eyes from the screen. "Does Sage seem like the type to get upset? You're one of his closest friends."
She has a solid point. "Exactly, I was just being careful."
I'd prefer to keep that friendship safe.
"You're fine, plus I wanted to show you some pictures." She assures me, motioning for me to sit down.
I do, finding images of me on the screen. Despite my best effort a small pang stabs my chest, "She told you."
I didn't ask her to keep it a secret, but it still hurts. I'm not exactly proud of the lack of memory's, especially while in a room full of pictures from wall to wall.
"Who?" She asks, glancing over at me.
"Scarlett, she told you I had empty walls." I spit out, slightly bitter.
Ella blinks at me in confusion. "No, Ashton, I do this with everyone. I did the same thing with her last night and you were never mentioned."
"Oh." Now I feel like an ass. "I'm sorry, it's just we talked, and I thought she had told you something."
"Scarlett's not like that, none of us are like that. So please don't think that about anyone, especially her." She tells me with intense eyes, "Everyone has their secrets and they deserve to be respected."
I couldn't agree more. Nodding my head, we scroll through pictures, my mood dissolving as I'm reminded of all the fun we've had together.
Hiking, football, school, so much for not even a full month together.
"Thanks, Ells, they're great." I inform her.
"I can print them out if you want, I have a printer in my room, so we don't have to go back downstairs."
I'm reminded again of my conversation with Scarlett. "Maybe later."
She purses her lips, clearly uncomfortable. "There's one more picture actually."
Clicking to a different page my eyes land on an image of Scarlett and I midkiss. "Woah."
"Yeah, I thought the same thing." She laughs.
Wait. That means she knows. Facing her I try to control the blush burning across my face. "Look, we- I- we didn't know anyone was around."
Actually, I think she would've preferred it that way.
"No one else knows." I find myself relaxing at her words, that night was far too emotional for my own good. "But I wanted to ask you if you planned on doing it again?"
Y-no. Nope. Not at all. I cough, scratching the back of my head. "No, it was an accidental one time thing."
Zooming in on the image she gives me a blank stare. "That doesn't look accidental."
Obviously not. "Look, we kissed. I enjoyed it. We agreed to be friends. The story ends there."
"Ashton-" she tries to protest but I cut her off.
"No, Ella, I appreciate what you're trying to do but there's nothing there. I don't date people, never have and never will but that's bedsides the point. Scarlett doesn't want to date me anyways." I state.
EElla studies me for a long moment, "Who are you trying to convince, Ash, me or you?"
Shit, I can't even tell anymore. "You, clearly."
The door flies open, Stella and James running into the room. "Can we hurry to the barn before we get the college lecture?"
Ella looks like she wants to tell them to wait outside, but she sighs, "Sure."
Something tells me I won't be off the hook.
*****
"Stella, when you leave can I have your room?" Sam asks as we're all waiting for the Rhodes to get here.
"As if, you brat." She scoffs, tossing a rake at him. "What do you even need it for?"
"A game room for me and the boys." He explains with a smirk.
"More like a secret make out room, so no." She taunts.
"Not like that isn't what you use it for now." He mumbles.
I can't help but laugh as Stella gawks at her brother, James trying to look anywhere but at him. Oh yeah, I understand why he's friends with the twins.
"If they don't get here in the next five minutes, we ride without them." Ella declares, even though we all know she doesn't mean it.
"They were turning off the main road a few minutes ago." Sam offers.
"With Sage's driving they should be here any second." Stella muses.
No kidding, he drives like a bat out of hell. I'd like to meet the person who have him a license. "Aren't their parents coming?"
Stella clears her throat, "No, they're busy with their family today."
Oh, I feel bad for them. At least the kids got to come over before entering Hell.
Through the open barn door, the sound of tires on gravel echoes through, Ella hops up. "I'll be back."
"They know the way." James says with a grin on his face.
"Maybe I feel like taking a detour." She says dryly before walking out.
God, I feel uncomfortably single right now. At least no one's making out in front of me, and I spoke too soon. The twins run into the barn just in time to save me, throwing hay at the happy couple before joining Sam on a ledge.
"Who wants to go first?" Silver asks, already grabbing the rope hanging from the ceiling.
Without waiting for a reply, he hops on, swinging through the air before he falls into a pile of hay. Okay, now that looks fun.
"Finally!" James jumps up, "We can take the bad boys out."
The four wheelers time has come, if only I was excited to ride one.
Looking over I hardly recognize the person standing in the doorway, it's Scarlett but not. Her hair is straight, covering her entire back.
It's so... different.
We lock eyes and she begins to fidget, uncomfortable with my staring, but I can't stop.
"Ashton, Scarlett!" Ella calls, pointing over her shoulder to the vehicles. "You two share the last one."
I don't even look away to roll my eyes at her, that wasn't a coincidence.
Scarlett goes over and I follow, watching her hair move. "Why are you staring?" She demands, crossing her arms with a glare.
"Your hair." I reply, taking a strand between my fingers.
Good going, idiot.
She looks at me like I'm stupid before running her fingers through her hair, almost as if she forgot.
Without thinking anything of it I run my fingers through her hair, wanting to continuously touch the silk locks. She smiles softly, closing her eyes as I go. "It looks nice, but I think the curly suits you better."
It's true, she looks so normal right now and Scarlett is anything but normal. Opening her eyes, she grins at me and in that moment I'm reminded of my earlier conversation with Ella.
Ready for a change in conversation before I do something I'll regret I hop on our four wheeler. I may hate these things but it's a solid distraction I decide, revving the engine.
"Cute. Now get out of my spot." She teases.
I'm about to laugh when I catch sight of Ella and Stella in front, the guys silently sitting behind them. Are we for real right now?
"You're gonna drive this, in a skirt?" I demand, scanning her body to make a point. My eyes linger on her legs, They're so long.
Scarlett rolls her eyes, "Don't you worry about me."
Honestly, it's my own safety I'm worried about right now but sure, let's go with that. I raise my hands in defeat before scooting back, this won't be too bad. Changing into a pair of boots, Scarlett hops on in front of me and I'm left with another awkward situation. I have to hold onto her somehow.
I can't hold onto the handles, that's dangerous, or her shoulders. There's nothing on the sides to grip either and I'm certainly not taking my chances by holding nothing. Please don't make this weird, I pray before wrapping my arms around her waist.
She tenses and just as I'm about to pull away she jolts out of the barn, causing me to hold tighter. We're going to die. "Hold on tight."
Freaking out I move closer, squeezing her to tight I'm convinced I'll break her in half. "Shouldn't we be wearing helmets?" Or I don't know, full body gear.
Scarlett just laughs and speeds up, I'm gonna take that as a no.
All I can remember is being on the back of my dad's motorcycle the day of the accident, speeding down the highway one moment, the next getting slammed into the pavement. Ever since then I haven't been a real big fan of motorcycles, or any type of similar machinery.
So instead of taking in the surroundings I hide my head in Scarlett's back, disappointed knowing her curly hair would've completely hidden my eyes. She laughs every time I squeal or swear, finding joy in my horror.
Eventually I hear the noise cut off, but I'm still too scared to move. It's a prank, eventually she'll start to drive again.
"Ashton, we're parked. You can get off now." She offers gently.
Slowly I open my eyes, taking in the position I've been in for what feels like forever. Worse things could've happened. "Where the hell did you learn to drive like that? I thought we were gonna die."
And I thought whoever gave Sage a license was crazy; Scarlett's was a full-blown mistake.
She chuckles, getting off and leaving me all alone. "Not too bad for a girl in a skirt?"
You don't look too bad either, but I just slide off, knowing she won't let this go.
*****
I've gone over a day without food before but nothing beats the hunger I'm facing right now. I don't know if it's the collection of so much food or just ready for a distraction, I can't say anything stupid if my mouth is full.
Scarlett goes to make Saffron's plate and a look towards my mother, who's busy helping Kim sends me following after. That and the fact I hate being a third wheel with the two couples. I can only handle the smiles and giggles for so long.
While the food looks nothing like a typical thanksgiving meal, it all looks so good. Sausage, turkey, dad's tamales, a Korean dish Stella assured me I would like.
"What's this?" I question, pointing to an odd-looking pudding.
"Oh, that's arroz con dulce, I made it" Scarlett offers lightly, scooping some onto Saffron's plate.
"What is it?" I've heard of stuff similar but as I poke it with the spoon, I get suspicious.
She laughs, "It's a Puerto Rican dish."
Wait, if this is a Puerto Rican dish and every family brought something from their heritage then that would mean...
"You're Puerto Rican." I say, finally putting the pieces together.
"Yeah, half from my dad's side."
That explains so much. The complexion, the Spanish.
"Fascinating." I mumble, not understanding how I didn't see it earlier. Using the spoon, I add some to Ronnie's plate.
Following Scarlett back through the line for our own plates I end up seated next to her, something that only happens because Ella moves down. Ella's dad clears his throat, "Every year, our families dine together and this year we are more than happy to be welcoming new faces while also missing old ones."
So this is a normal thing for them, to act like a family with so much love. It reminds me so much of dad's family, of the first time my mom and I joined him for Easter dinner. Mom was so nervous she almost threw up and I'm sure I was no help, but they all smiled and pulled us in for hugs. It's nice to see that again, even if it's not completely for me.
"We have a tradition of going around the table and sharing the things we are thankful for and we would be honored if you all will participate as well." He explains after a quick glance at his wife. "I'm thankful for my wonderful wife and daughter and the love we share."
I'd much rather do anything but this. What do I have to be thankful for? I'm currently not in jail. My father is in prison. I haven't been killed yet. I've managed to not completely fuck up my life.
None of those are real crowd winners.
"I'm thankful I can be honest with my family." Sterling's voice shakes me from my thought. Shit, they're close.
"Well I'm thankful for the ability to have a pain in the butt twin" Silver bites out, almost hitting me with his fork.
"I'm thankful for new beginnings." James says, smiling over at Stella.
Well now I can't use that line, what a loser. Just say you're happy you finally grew a pair and leave the generic lines for me.
Scarlett smiles over at James and Stella, not realizing it's now her turn. Feeling the attention, her eyes bulge open as she fumbles for her words. "I'm thankful for every day I get to spend with you guys."
For some reason her words resonate with me. Simply being here tonight would've been unfathomable a few months ago, but now it's my reality, and it's all because a specific person hit me.
"I'm thankful I got to meet you" I offer, not truly meaning to speak the words out loud. Fighting the urge to crawl under the table I ignore the chuckle James let's out. "All of you."
She simply stares at me, frozen in place before hissing in pain as she glares at Ella. Welp, now I look like a weirdo.
Somehow she manages to avoid my gaze as we begin to eat, focusing everywhere but on me. Conversation is flowing around us, but I stay quiet, unsure of what else to say so I eat. No words can leave my mouth, on purpose or otherwise, if it's occupied.
A moan grabs my attention, looking over to find Scarlett's eyes closed as she pulls her fork from her mouth. Oh my god, pinching myself I lean over, "You know, Sweetheart, if you're not careful, people might start getting the wrong idea."
The fork clatters to the table, crimson staining her face as she turns to me. "Charming." She offers dryly, glancing down at my plate. "What, you don't like it?"
No, I clearly did– wait, that's not what she's talking about. Obviously. The food, Ashton, the food. "No, I'm just saving the best for last."
Plus I'm just a little weird when it comes to food like this, I've only ever liked it when my Abuela makes it.
Rolling her eyes, she takes my fork, eating the pudding from my own plate. "Well it looks like you're missing out."
My eyes fall back on her lips, yes, I am. Food, now. Taking the fork back I try some, not expecting much. Oh my God, it tastes just like arroz con leche. I might even say this is better.
Balancing the fork in hand I notice a lipstick stain, smirking over at Scarlett I prepare to get slapped. "You know we just indirectly kissed, right?"
She coughs uncomfortably but brown eyes wander down my face, someone's thinking about it. Well, someone else is too. Leaning forward I notice how close she is, her leg on the edge of my seat.
What a shame there's so many people around.
"Get a room." Sage coughs, breaking whatever trance we're in. Taking a deep breath, I wink at Scarlett before turning back to my plate. Food is always a good idea.
*****
I'm beginning to wonder what got Ella on a photo obsession and I'm slightly wondering if it's a habit I want break because I'm over having to constantly force a smile. It's never ending, the camera is glued to her hand. Although, a small part of me remembers the photos from upstairs. Maybe this isn't all bad, even if it's tedious.
Last but not least, Scarlett. Throwing an arm around her I'm surprised by the lack of height difference. She's a solid 5'7 but the heels make the distance even smaller, it's odd. I'm used to leaning further down.
Resting a hand on my chest, she smiles. The camera flashes and I don't even bother to look, "You look nice."
There are other words I could use but none of them sound right. They either mean too much or not enough, nice is perfect.
Completely taken back, Scarlett wanders upstairs and I follow, ready to watch a movie. I can't talk during that.
"Ashy, catch me!" Ronnie cries as we sit down, flinging her body onto mine.
"Ugh, you're getting heavy, Munchkin." I complain, readjusting her weight.
Saffron throws herself onto Scarlett, looking over at me with sleepy eyes, "Ashy, are you really happy you met us?"
I nod, "Of course, Squirt, you're pretty special."
Coco plays on the tv, but I'm lost watching the people around me. My original words were for Scarlett, but I wouldn't trade this for the world.
Feeling myself nod off I try my best to stay awake, sleeping in front of people won't ever be happening. "Psst, Ashton, lay your head back." Ella whispers.
Scrunching my brows, I notice all three girls are asleep. Resting my head near Scarlett's I try not to laugh but I fail. Ronnie and Saffron instantly start to rub their eyes, shit.
Saffron starts to squirm around, causing Scarlett to jostle. "Hey, Saff, come sit with me." Sage offers, patting his leg. She goes and Ronnie follows.
Watching the movie, on strict orders from my sister not to check my phone, a head hits my shoulder. Looking down I find Scarlett's sleeping face pressed against me, half hidden by her hair.
I just watch her, unsure of what to do. She's never appeared so peaceful. If I move, I'm sure I'll wake her up. It's not until she starts to lean forward, I panic, pulling her back into my side. Once I make sure she's still asleep I brush her hair out of her face, choosing to keep running my fingers through her hair I watch the movie.
Two hours later I'm the only one awake, Sage passed out with his head in Ella's lap while the girls and the boys are dozing on the floor. I'm disturbed to learn that Stella looks just as angry while she sleeps, even if she's being hugged by James.
Taking the pictures Ella sent of us today I go on Instagram, focused on the one of Scarlett and me. After a lengthy debate I decide not to put it first, instead choosing the one of us four sleeping on the couch.
Blessed with the best, no other way to describe it.
After hitting post, I get a text.
Damn, you sure are a stubborn prick.
Ashton
Who the hell is this?
The reply is instant.
Gabe, dude, what's up?
Ashton
Why are you texting me? Where did you get my number?
This guy is a real stalker if I'm being honest.
Gabe
Never mind that, why haven't you asked Scarlett out yet?
Ashton
Why
Gabe
Because you clearly got the feels
Ashton
Go away
He's going to be a real pain in my ass, isn't he.
Ashton
I'm not asking Scarlett out. She's my friend
Gabe
Let me know when the delusion ends
Before I can reply Scarlett moves, leaning further into my side. Trying my best to hide my phone I watch her blink the sleep out of her eyes, guess it's too late to move. My phone vibrates with another text, but I ignore it, returning the sleepy smile she sends my way.
Maybe Gabe is right. No one else is awake, if I asked her now, I wouldn't be publicly humiliated at least. Am I really about to do this, I guess so. The words will you be my girlfriend on the tip of my tongue but the clock chimes.
Grabbing my arm, she jumps up, "Shit, guys we need to go!"
Welp, there goes my chance.
*****
Driving home mom and dad share a few pointed looks, remaining relatively quiet. That's not what scares me, the tone of mom's voice when she finally decides to talk does.
"Ashton, has Scarlett ever mentioned her parents to you?" She asks, locking eyes with me in the rear-view mirror.
"No, they work a lot from what I can gather."
"So she never calls them? Mentions what they do?" She pries and I know that look. It's the judgy one.
"Her parents obviously aren't around that much, why would I pry into her business when my own family life is fucked up?" I snap, making sure Ronnie is sleeping.
Her face goes red, "Ashton Brecken-"
"Liz, leave the conversation alone. While he was harsh, now isn't the time." Dad interjects, placing a hand on hers.
Holding my breath, I prepare for her to continue yelling at me, but she sighs, sitting back in her chair.
No one else speaks and that's more than okay with me.
*****
Hi, I graduate tomorrow. Pinch me. And then Monday I'm off to church camp with limited internet for a week so I'm gonna try to update again before I go.
Also, thank you guys for being so patient and for 100k reads on LiS and 100k votes on LiC. Here's an EXTRA long chapter to celebrate but I'm sure there's some mistakes. Currently changing in the back of my car on the way to a grad party from babysitting all day!
I tried my best~ Mo