"C'mon, Wocky, you gotta wake up!"
I just groaned and tried to go back to sleep
I can't believe these horrid memories kept me up all night
"Well, Wocky, I twied doing you a favow, but if you don't want to wake up, I'll just wait until Chase wakes evewyone up with his megaphone in just a couple of minutes... Oh, look, thewe he is now" As Zuma said this I heard the groans of Chase getting ready to start his day
That was my signal to surrender to Zuma and come out of my pup house before being forced to by Chase
I guess it was thoughtful of Zuma to wake me up before Chase did, considering he doesn't even try to be gentle at it, but I still didn't want to get up
"Ruff, megaphone!"
As soon as I heard this, I scrambled out of my bed, opened the door to my pup house, and covered my ears, which Zuma did too
"ALRIGHT, EVERYONE, IT'S TIME TO GET UP!" Chase yells into his megaphone
And just like every day, I hear groaning coming from every pup house as drowsy pups stepped out of them
Talking about drowsy, I notice Zuma is energetic, contrary to how he normally is in the early mornings, drowsy. I guess he put effort into this, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing...
Zuma then turns to me and smiles
"I see you'we finally up. Now we gotta eat bweakfast befowe youw swimming lessons"
I sigh. "Okay, I guess there's really no point in trying to fight it" I say as I rub my eyes
"That's the spirit!" He said jokingly
I try my best to seem ready, but I can't hide the fact that I am exhausted both emotionally and physically from last night. That's definitely not a good state to be in just before going for something considered important
Although I still don't get why it seems like such a problem. Sure, I'm scared of water. I can't remember the last time I took a bath with actual water, but other than that it hasn't bothered me after all the years I have lived with such fear
Yet Zuma had to step in to try to fix something that I wouldn't even consider to be broken. I'm not sure if that was malevolent or thoughtful of him
Well, knowing there was nothing I could do about it, I went to the lookout to eat breakfast and afterwards the two of us headed to the beach in Zuma's hovercraft
Ryder was going to join us at least for a while, but he got a mission just before we even left the lookout
The mission involved Chase and Skye, something about a criminal running to the forest to hide from the police, but I didn't get the details as I heard it while leaving the lookout. Anyway, since the mission only involved those two pups, the rest wanted to come along to see me trying to beat my fear for the first time, but I refused, saying that they should be ready in case they are required for a mission
Of course they could've come along and still be ready for any incoming missions, but the truth is I used it as an excuse because I didn't want them to see me being weak. And I wanted the same for Zuma, but since he is the one giving me the swimming lessons, there was no way to keep him from coming
Though it really didn't worry me for Zuma to see me being weak. With him it's just... different
To know how supportive Zuma is kinda gives me courage. I know that I can be honest with him, and that he won't criticize the way I am, like others do
Sure, the pups are always nice to me, but it's not exactly because they like me very much, they kinda just know to be nice to everyone, all while I know that Zuma is genuinely nice to me in particular, which I guess is one of the things I like about him
Funny how we are the complete opposite of each other yet we are best friends. He likes water, I certainly don't. He is always relaxed, I can get stressed very easily. He is spontaneous, I overthink everything. He can be the soul of the party, I am a wallflower. He can befriend anyone easily, I'm more "complicated" for others to understand... and the list just goes on and on
It seems like the more I think about Zuma, the less likely it seems that he did this with bad intentions, so I should at least give it a try
"We'we hewe"
I was brought back by Zuma's voice, and looking around I realized we were already at the beach
Zuma got out if his hovercraft and looked at me, waiting for me to get off
Come on, Rocky, you can do this
However, just the sound of the waves made me nervous, so I quickly found a way to stall what was coming, "So, are we going to do this right now? 'Cause you should know we're supposed to wait about 30 minutes after eating before swimming, and we ate breakfast just a couple minutes ago, so... maybe we should just wait"
"I know that, but we'we not going to go thewe yet. You can't leawn how to swim if you can't even touch watew, so we'll do baby steps"
"Oh... right"
"So, follow me" Zuma said as he walked towards the ocean, then stopped at a site the ocean water just barely reached
"Youw fiwst step will be to stand hewe, and just feel the watew touch youw paws"
It seemed like an easy step, but just the thought if it brought shivers down my spine
"I...uh..."
"What's wrong, Wocky? Don't wowwy, I'll be wight hewe with you"His voice was so sweet and reassuring it gave me the courage to step right next to him...which I regretted immediately
As soon as I felt the water touch me, I froze up. I could no longer move, and Danny's voice echoed in my head
"Oh, no... he's been drinking again"
His screams repeated themselves in my head, getting louder each time
"Wocky? A-Awe you okay?" I could just barely hear Zuma's voice among the screams, but I still couldn't answer
I just stared with a blank expression, and even though I couldn't manage to talk, I was internally screaming in agony
A voice inside my head kept saying "it was your fault. Everything was your fault"
I was brought back by something touching my shoulder, but everything that had happened made me confused, and... scared, so I instinctively yelled "GET OFF ME!"
By the time I realized it was just Zuma, who was now looking at me with deep concern, I felt it was just too much
I burst into tears as I backed away from the sand and prepared to start running away, but I am stopped by Zuma bringing me into a hug. He didn't even say anything, he just held me as I emptied my tears in the side of his neck
We stood there as I cried on his shoulder for several minutes. I could see the people in the beach looking at me with concern and confusion, but I ignored them and continued to cry as I nuzzled Zuma's neck
I can remember him not knowing what happened, but still holding me closely as he said "It's okay, Wocky. I'm hewe", and "Evewything is going to be fine"
So after all my tears had dried out, I heard Zuma say "I'm sowwy. I didn't know it would be like this, I-"
"No. You... you didn't do anything. You were just trying to help, so really, don't blame it on you" I said while still sniffling a bit
"Well, if you say so, but... you mind telling me what that was all about? You nevew told me why you wewe afwaid of watew, but I didn't want to push it, though now it seems like it would be bettew fow you to tell me; to get it all out"
I hesitated for a bit. I have never told anyone about what happened that day, but I guess if he's trying to help me he deserves to know the truth
And so I told Zuma everything. And by everything I mean every single thing, and he just listened
After a while, I concluded, "And... I still miss them everyday"
"Sounds like you weally loved youw family"
"Yeah, I guess I did... huh, I never realized all of this was love"
Zuma smiled "Well, it seems like it was. You weally loved-"
"What changed father, why Danny became more silent and less joyful, why it still hurts to remember them, and why I have aquaphobia... it was all because of love. I guess the previous definition I had on love was incorrect; it is not simply a relationship of mutual gain, but shared pain"
Zuma seemed surprised at my realization. "I think you'we getting the wrong idea about love"
I ignored that comment as I was taking cognizance of the logic that was coming to my mind "So, if loving my previous family was the cause of this mess, all I have to do is forget about them to revert the consequences!"
Zuma looked kinda bothered by that logic and spoke up, "Look, I get that you don't seem to understand love, but you should know ignowing it won't fix the pwoblem"
"Why not? It makes perfect sense to me"
"Well it won't, twust me"
"Hmm, then how? I can't bare to live with this forever. Trying to face my fear made me notice it was way worse than I thought; I have to get rid of it"
Zuma sighed "You'we pwobably not gonna like this, but if you want to get ovew youw feaw, you'll have to do the opposite... you'll have to embwace it"
This whole chat was helpful because it helped me relax, but this got me nervous again
"Wha-how?" I couldn't even speak right
"Just... get in the watew again, and think about Danny... just think of how pwoud he'd be if you ovewcame your feaw- I'm sowwy, when you ovewcome youw feaw." Zuma gave me one of those recomforting smiles again and a "you can do it" look
I hate how those tricks always get to me
I sighed "Fine, I'll try again"
Zuma smiled happily to see me aproach the water again and layed down to see me try
"Alright, I can do this" I thought to myself as a small tide came in my direction
I can do this. I am brave. I am ready. I am not afraid. I am- nope, nevermind! . I ran back to safety just before the water hit me
"I can't do this!" Zuma seemed kind of disappointed, but then he got up and said "You know what, yes you can!"
He walked next to me and said "I'll be wight hewe with you. Wight hewe by youw side"
I blushed a little and said "You promise you won't leave me?"
This is ridiculous. I am the independent pup; I don't need anyone to stand by my side. My motto used to be literally "Do it by yourself", yet having him stand next to me is making me feel...
Secure. Sheltered. Supported. Safe. Shielded... though I don't know why, but I definitely do not like it. Being dependent means being weak
I am not weak
Yet I still want him to be there with me
I sighed in defeat and let him accompany me as I face my only fear
I touch the water again
I hear Danny screaming again
I am confused again
I feel scared again
I hold on to something around me. Anything
I want it to stop
I need it to stop
With a blank look, I hold on tighter, only to realize I was holding on to Zuma
But he doesn't do anything about it. He just says really softly, "It's okay, Wocky. I'm hewe fow you"
I take a deep breath and think about Danny. Holding on tighter, I try to think of something beyond that day, and... it works
I can see mother again. I only spent three days with her, but I can still remember her. In fact, I am surprised my brain remembered her face so well... it's almost like she's right there with me
I can see Danny, too. With him I spent six months, but his face had been carved in my memory, the difference is now I'm not hearing his screams, just see his normal self. He was unique. He liked to do things eve if others found it weird or didn't understand it. He would stand it the pouring rain in regular clothes, or lay on the sidewalk for no reason, or sit in front of busy stores and carefully observe everyone. Why? I don't know. I never knew. He was just... particular. Just particular
He was very observant, so he really enjoyed watching people around him interact, or just to look and try to understand the world around him
"Did you know, Rocky, that people form circles in social gatherings? It's so weird. At first, you can see two people facing each other, but as another one comes in, they shift into a small triangle, then with more people, they become a small circle, and as more people join, they move to accommodate the others, creating a bigger circle. It's so practical and efficient for people to be connected and be able to talk to everyone in the group comfortably, but they do it unconsciously. They don't actually go "hey, we are multiple people wanting to interact at once, so lets use a circle as our position to be able to coverse with every individual inside of our social group", they just do it. They could choose a square, rectangle, pentagon, parallel lines, or many other choices, but they always choose a circle that accommodates the size of the group"
He was so observant and curious, just like me
"What's got you smiling so much? Did you remember your family?"
I was brought back by Zuma's comment, when I suddenly realized I was standing there and smiling like a fool, but I didn't care, it was still very good to remember them after all this time
I turned to Zuma, who I hadn't noticed was now laying on the sand near me
"I can... remember them... I can see them again"
Zuma smiled at this and said very softly "I told you it would be worth it"
I couldn't disagree, it was worth it. The fear that lasted almost my whole life, was now gone... just like that. If I had known it was that easy I would've done so a long time ago
"Thank you, for this. I'd never imagined-" I was interrupted by my pup tag receiving a call
"Hey, pups. I know you're busy right now, but we have a mission for you, Rocky, and I guess if you want, you can take a break from the swimming lessons after the mission, since you've already been at it for two hours"
I was shocked at hearing this
"Two hours! I've been standing here for two hours!" I wanted to act more calmly at this, but it had really taken me by surprise
"Oh, yeah, sowwy about that, but you seemed to enjoy yourself standing there as the tides came, so I thought I'd just leave you alone for a while, but even if it would seem like we didn't get very far with this, we actually did. In fact, I was expecting it for us to spend a lot more than two hours before you even agreed to get into the water, and now look at you now, loving it. We could even go swimming together once you learn how to!" Zuma said wagging his tail in exitement
Wow. Zuma usually considers swimming his 'me' time. I can't believe he would share that with me
"Good to see you made some improvement already" said a voice coming from my pup tag. I had forgotten we were still in a call with Ryder
"Anyway, I need you, Rocky, to come to the lookout for the mission ASAP"
"Right. I'll be on my way" I say I head to my truck
"Well, if I'm not needed, I can stay here and swim some more"
"Actually, I just remembered I didn't bring my truck; we came here on your hovercraft, so you'll either have to give me a ride, or walk your way home when you're done swimming"
"Alwight, you can take the hovewcraft. I could use the walk anyway"
I've got to say, I was actually disappointed of hearing this, for I hoped we would return to the lookout together as we discussed what the next steps for my swimming lessons will be, or just talk. I'm not really talkative myself so I rather just listen to Zuma, who sure loves to talk. And there goes another thing at which we are opposites, yet I still enjoy it, I could hear him talk all day, plus his rhotacism is actually really cute, how he pronounces my name as "Wocky" instead of "Rocky"
Wait... cute? No, I mean... peculiar? Yeah, let's go with that
Well, now I just have to take everything off my mind, because after happened during our last mission, I have to regain Ryder's trust on this one, so I have no time to be chatting with Zuma or thinking about his adorable- I mean peculiar- speech impediment and focus
Just gotta focus...
Hey, everyone! Just going to say next chapter is already been started, so it most likely will come out in a little less than a week. Also, I'm sorry if you think the whole Rocky getting over his fear thing was a little rushed since it was supposed to be a traumatic event that caused his fear, so it would seem strange that he would overcome it so quickly, but I was really trying to fit as much as I could into one chapter since in a couple of weeks I will be more busy so the chapter after next will take a while to come, but I still hope you liked it, and, as I said, next chapter will be out in a little less than a week
-LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD