"Substance abuse, it seems she hasn't ate in days, and there's traces of bile in her tracheal area."
The loud beep of the heart monitor caused the small girl to toss and turn. She was panting, unaware of her surroundings, her eyes closed tightly. She could hear everything but she didn't want to look.
"Keep her off her IV," barked a demanding voice.
When she felt her arm being forcefully moved she groaned, shifting slightly in the emergency room bed.
—
"Do you want to go out for lunch, Jennie?"
"No."
Jennie's hands shook as she gripped her skirt, impatient to leave the small classroom.
"Why are you shaking? Are you sure you're okay? I think you need something to eat."
"Stop worrying about me, Lisa. I can take care of myself, I'm just cold," Jennie snapped, crossing her arms across her chest.
Lisa untied the light flannel jacket from her waist, "it's like eighty out here, Jen," she whispers as she places the jacket over Jennie's shoulders.
Jennie cuddles herself into the jacket, "I know."
—
Fingers lace into the fingers as the female sleeps soundly on the bed. She'd calmed her movements, only twitching occasionally.
Lisa gripped Jennie's hand tightly as her eyes watched the heart monitors painful movements. The heart monitor cried at every beat as if it was sorrowful for every patient that ended up connected to it.
"I'm sorry, Jen."
The girl groaned softly as she squeezed Lisa's hand tightly.
—
"Can we at least go to the movies," Lisa whined as she lay sprawled on the floor of Jennie's apartment, "we never go anywhere these days except class."
"I guess we could."
Lisa sits up, excited by the idea, "I want to see the new marvel movie!!"
"Then let's see the new marvel movie," Jennie smiles at Lisa's child like excitement.
"I want popcorn and candy too!!"
Jennie shivers at the thought of food, repulsed. She can't stand the thought of forcing even one gummy worm down her swollen throat.
—
Nausea hit in waves as Jennie opened her eyes. She saw the familiar ringed fingers laced in hers, the familiar shape of Lisa.
Jennie's head pounded as everything hit her, she'd done this to herself.
A bag of saline solution hung on a metal pole, connected to Jennie's arm. Her stomach felt weak and she could hardly move her body. Though she still felt stronger and fuller than she had in the last few weeks.
Jennie noticed her small hands were stained by blood and she was no longer dressed in a beautiful white dress but rather a hospital gown. She didn't feel the cold, empty feeling she was so used to as the IV slowly dripped into her bloodstream.
Drip.
—
Jennie's heart pounded as she stood in the concession stand line. Lisa was excited and going on about how she'd seen every marvel movie physically possible.
Jennie's mind was racing and when she felt a pang in her stomach she reached into her bag, pulling out a small, almost empty, bottle of painkillers.
Beauty is pain.
Jennie easily slid the pill into her mouth without Lisa noticing and swallowed easily. She was only half listening to Lisa, all she could hear was the soft buzzing static of her mind.
—
Jennie laid her head on her pillow, staring at the ceiling. How long has Lisa stayed by her side?
Obviously long enough to fall asleep, her head resting uncomfortably on the side of the emergency room bed.
The sound of other people coughing, moving around in their beds or nurses gossiping filled the white walled area. No doors divided the patients only a thin curtain.
She could hear a child scream as a needle poked into his arm, connecting the thin IV line. The child cried as his mother comforted him telling him it'd be okay, it'd make him better, he did well.
Jennie's closed her eyes, gripping Lisa's hand even tighter in hers.
—
Everything was black as Jennie laid her head on Lisa's shoulder. She was exhausted from exams and her late shift, plus she had no interest in the movie, only in the person beside her.
When Jennie felt Lisa shake her awake and saw the credits roll on the screen she gripped Lisa's hand.
Lisa pulled her up, grabbing the empty paper cups and small popcorn bucket. She grabbed the half full box of theater candy and began for the door.
"Jen, I'm worried I think you need to start getting more sleep. You need to prioritize your health before anything."
Jennie just nodded as she followed Lisa out of the theater room.
—
The pounding of her own heart scared her.
Jennie couldn't sleep with the small hospital noises and constant whine of the heart monitor. Lisa, however, was still fast asleep on the bedside.
Jennie shuffled on the bed a bit, adjusting herself.
Her arm felt suffocated as the blood pressure cuff squeezed her arm in a tight bear hug every ten to fifteen minutes. She wanted to pull the medical equipment off but with only the division of a paper thin curtain between her and the nurses' station she knew better.
She sighed as she watched the slopes of her heartbeat.
Up and down.
—
The pounding in Jennie's gut began to increase as she walked into the hot afternoon sunlight.
Her throat felt like it was closing in as she began to cough. Lisa pauses, looking back at Jennie's frail body as she gets on her knees, grabbing her throat.
Jennie covered her mouth as saliva begins to drain from her mouth.
Lisa races over and sits down to her level, attempting to calm Jennie. Nothing seems to work as Jennie grips Lisa's shirt in her white knuckles.
Saliva turns to blood.
The hot California sun is pounding on the two girls as they sit on the sidewalk outside the theater. People were beginning to gather and were staring, whispering among themselves.
Lisa pulled out her phone dialing emergency services when Jennie stops coughing, her vision going black.
—
Lisa opens her eyes in the cool hospital room. Jennie is awake, staring at the needles in her arm.
Lisa notices Jennie wince as the pressure cuff squeezes her small arm.
"Jennie Kim.."
Jennie can't meet Lisa's eyes, she ignores her lover, continuing to watch the heart monitor.
"Jennie Kim you're so lucky to be alive.. never scare me like that again.. I love you, Jen, you're beautiful just the way you are. You don't have to change for me or anyone."
Jennie's shiny, watery eyes meet Lisa's, her voice cracking, "I'm sorry Lisa.. I promise it won't happen ever again.. I don't know what got into to me.."
Lisa gripped Jennie's hand tighter in her own.
—
"Want to go out for lunch, Jen?"
"Sure," Jennie smiles as she grabs Lisa's hand.
Lisa swings their hands between them, a huge smile plastered to her face, "I love you."
"I love you too."