I woke the following morning with no idea where I was. As my eyes adjusted, I realized I’d ended up in the same place I always did when I needed a little break: Harry’s stepdad’s bungalow. It was the place I first realized I’d gained four new best friends, and the place where everything really began for One Direction. It was no wonder that this place made me feel like a safe place to think about things.
I wondered how the boys were doing. Had they read my letter yet? Did any of them care that I was gone? Most importantly, did Niall care?
That letter might not have been the brightest idea I’d ever had. It basically told Niall I loved him but couldn’t be with him, and writing it down on paper would be a great way to make sure the others knew about us. What if he’d decided that since we didn’t work out, nobody else should ever know? Would he hate me even more now because I told the secret we’d been working for months to keep? I didn’t think I could take any more.
Sighing, I placed my bags in the room I’d stayed in last time I was here. I needed to do something to get my mind off my life so I could focus better later, when I knew I would have to confront my issues again. Changing into a set of fresh casual clothes, I left for a stroll around the area.
Soon enough I found myself in a city I’d never been to before. We must’ve always gone the other way from Holmes Chapel when I was with the boys. It was a cute little town, with stores and restaurants lining the main roads and people randomly milling about. It was relaxing to be in a place where I wasn’t as well-known as I was used to, and I could actually walk around without hiding my face or watching for cameras being shoved at me every couple seconds. Maybe I should suggest moving to a city like this to management and the boys; I’d have to talk to them about it another time.
I found a neat looking little shop and opened the door to feel a gust of cold air from inside. Looking around, I found it to be just like the family-run shops I knew of, and smiled at the familiarity. Taking a seat, a waitress was soon at my side.
“Hello there, my name is Cameron and I’ll be helping you today, what can I get for you?” she asked with a smile as she handed me a menu.
“Just a cup of black tea, please,” I examined her face cautiously to make sure she didn’t know who I was, or if she did, she wasn’t going to freak out.
“It should be out right away.” She took the menu back and retreated to the other side of the room.
As I waited, I realized this was somewhere Danielle and I would’ve gone if we were ever in the area. I would’ve held her hand from across the table as she smiled and laughed while we made small talk. Her eyes would’ve been glittering with happiness, and I would’ve ordered green tea instead of my favorite because it was the one she liked best and we could share it. I missed the comfort I always felt around her, even though I was with Niall.
This wasn’t a place I could’ve gone with Niall. We could go out to normal restaurants together and people would take it as us eating out as friends, but going to a more romantic place like this without the other boys would start rumors we couldn’t afford to have. I sighed, wishing we could’ve gone somewhere like this.
“Your tea,” a voice interrupted me, and I looked up to see Cameron placing a steaming cup on the table in front of me. “You seem upset, and honestly, I’m pretty bored right now. Nobody really comes in at this time; they’re all working or in school. Mind if I take a seat? It might do you some good to have a friend,” she offered, and I nodded. She was exactly right; what I needed right now more than anything was just someone I could open up to and not have to worry about their reaction because they weren’t a part of my daily life. I was so messed up.
She slid in opposite me, settling in her chair before leaning her elbows on the table. I chuckled, looks like someone doesn’t care about table manners. Cameron was smiling at me, and I noticed that she had sparkling eyes that reminded me of Niall’s, though they were hazel. Her hair was long and caramel colored and slightly wavy, exactly like Danielle’s. Her light makeup made her eyes stand out, and I could tell she was most likely younger than I was.
“So, mysteriously depressed boy, tell me your secrets,” she joked, and I smirked.
“A little on the forward side, are we?” She shook her head, motioning for me to start my story. “Well, before I tell you this, you have to promise you won’t leave before I get to finish. I really do need help with my situation, and I can’t have many people knowing about it, so telling you is a huge risk.” The girl nodded, and I went on.
“I grew up thinking I was straight, just like all my friends. But I, erm, auditioned for a reality singing show and was put in a band with four boys I’d never met before. I fell for one of those boys and denied it until two of the others talked about dating each other. Then we admitted our feelings and became a couple, but we didn’t tell anyone because we weren’t sure what we were doing or if coming out would be a good idea right then since our mates had just done the same thing.
So I got a girlfriend to cover for us, but I didn’t tell her I was using her. She thought everything we had was real, and she was there for me through everything, even when she had no clue what was going on. I was starting to feel as if my love for my boyfriend was fading, so I split up with him and left him broken. I realized I still loved him when I saw what I had done to him, but I was too much of a coward to say anything. So I went to my girlfriend’s house and told her the truth, and she basically split up with me and kicked me out, though she did say she just needed time to think about it and she still wanted me around.
Then I got home and the boys were ignoring me, so I packed up my stuff, left them a note about everything, and left. So now here I am, in a city I’ve never heard of with only a faint idea of how to get back to where I came from, talking a random girl who happened to be my waitress.”
I took a nervous glance at her as I noticed I hadn’t looked at Cameron the whole time I was talking. She seemed to be in deep thought, as if pondering the mistakes I’d made.
“You sure got yourself in a mess there, Liam,” she pointed out, and I rolled my eyes.
“Thank you, captain obvious.” I then realized something. “Hey, how do you know my name? I don’t remember introducing myself or anyone else in the story,” I frowned.
“I know who you are, Liam James Payne. And I think I know who everyone in the story is, too. I didn’t say anything because I thought you would prefer talking to a normal girl instead of a massively obsessed fan girl, so I bottled it up. I can let out my inner fan girl if you prefer,” she suggested, and I quickly shook my head.
“No, please, anything but a crazy fan!” I pleaded, and she giggled.
“I knew you’d say that. Anyway, I’m assuming the boyfriend is Niall, the girlfriend is Danielle, and the band you’re mentioning is One Direction?” I nodded. “You’ve got yourself into quite the predicament.”
“I know,” I sighed, my head in my hands as I leaned on the table. “I just don’t know how I could ever apologize to them, and being around the two of them makes me feel like I’m physically in pain. I always cause pain, so they should just get over me. They’d be better off without me,” I reasoned.
Cameron shook her head furiously. “Don’t say that! The boys love you, and I’m sure they’re all going crazy right now since you left. You don’t have to respond to anything, but if you want proof I suggest you check your phone.”
I turned on my phone, and she was right. There were a ton of missed calls as well as texts, voicemails, emails, and direct messages on Twitter. I groaned, realizing that maybe leaving had been the mistake.
“It sounds like you’re attached to Niall so deeply that you’re confused if you really love him, or if you’ve forced yourself to believe that you do. Why don’t you give your mind a break and just let it go for now? Let yourself be taken wherever fate wants you to go, and you can make your own decisions when the time comes. I’m sure Danielle and Niall will be there for you, and whomever you decide you want will love you wholeheartedly in return,” she wisely stated.
“You’re right. You’re exactly right, and it’s unbelievable that you could see it when I’ve been suffering so long. Thank you, Cameron,” I went around the table and she stood to embrace me tightly as I felt a few tears trail down my cheeks.
“Don’t cry, Liam. I’m happy to help. I’ve loved you guys since I first heard of you, and I hope everything works out between you, Niall, and Danielle. Keep your heart strong,” she whispered in my ear.
I pulled back. “I can’t ever thank you enough. What would you say if I gave you my number and asked if I could keep in contact with you, even when I return to London?”
She squealed, revealing the hidden fan girl. “That would be incredible! I can’t believe I’m getting Liam Payne’s number!”
“Whoa there, steady and breathe. That’s it. You sure are a dedicated fan,” I smirked amusedly. “I never got your full name either.”
“My name is Cameron Payne,” she grinned at me. I chuckled.
“Power of the Paynes, right?” She giggled at my childishness. “How old are you, by the way?”
At that, she laughed. “I’m sixteen.” My eyes widened; I thought she was much older. “Not what you expected?”
“I just got love advice from a girl I just met who is three years younger than me,” I sputtered.
“She rolled her eyes. “Bye, Liam. Text me sometime.” With one last hug, I left the shop and meandered my way back to the bungalow.
Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to leave, but it was accomplishing its purpose. I was starting to figure out what to do with my torn-apart life. I couldn’t help but be grateful to whoever sent Cameron to me, because she was a huge help.
I knew Niall wouldn’t want me to talk to him, and Harry and Louis would be sobbing messes on the other end of the phone because they were totally ignorant to what was going on. Zayn would be upset with me because he thought I told him everything. That left only one option for getting in touch with the real world, since I had no idea what my family knew and didn’t know: Danielle.
Clicking her speed dial, I heard the phone buzz and began talking as soon as she picked up.
“Danielle, it’s Liam, I’m so sorry and I miss you so much and I know I shouldn’t have left like that, but I needed to clear my mind and honestly you’re the only one I could trust myself to talk to right now, God I was so stupid, I understand if you don’t forgive me because I wouldn’t forgive myself either, I’m just a pathetic use of space that causes pain and heartbreak and suffering and-“
“LIAM, CUT IT OUT!” she screamed, and I moved the phone away from my ear. “Thank God. Now you listen. I’m sorry I made you leave yesterday, but I needed space too. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that your boyfriend never really loved you and was seeing someone else the whole time he was with you. But you’re not just any guy. You’re Liam Payne, and you’re special because you didn’t do it for a cruel purpose. Everything you did was done form a pure heart, and I can respect that. But honestly, Liam… did you have to leave? Because I hate saying this over the phone. I wanted to tell you in person that I forgive you, for everything. I just want you here, Liam, please come back.
I need you, and the boys need you. When Zayn called earlier to read me your note, he was on the edge of tears, and you know Zayn never cries. I could hear screeching sobs in the background, which I think belonged to Niall, meaning your leaving hurt him even worse. You need to come home, Liam. Or if you can’t do that, at least tell me where you are so I can come to you,” she pleaded.
I felt guilty for doing it, but I wasn’t ready for that yet. “I can’t do that, Dani. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything in the past and everything I know I’ll do wrong in the future and everything I’m still doing right now. But I still need time before I can really let myself live again. I’m staying where I am for a bit, and no, I won’t tell you where I am. It’s for the best for all of us.”
She sniffled as if she was about to cry. “You’re sure you can’t come back? I need you, Li-li.”
That nickname called at me, as if mocking me for being too weak to return. “You know what? I’ll give myself a week, total. Including today. So I’ll be back in London in six days maximum, and if I’m not back then I give you full permission to enlist the help of the world to track me down and bring me home. Just give me the one week,” I opted for a compromise.
“Fine, one week and then you’ll be here in my sights again. I still love you, Liam, just so you know.”
I knew this was going to come up. “I care about you, Dani.” I heard a sharp intake of breath, as if she either hadn’t expected me to care or was hoping I’d say I loved her too.
“Bye, Liam. Please don’t do anything else stupid when I’m not there to help you,” she begged.
“I promise I’ll be back in six days, unharmed. See you then,” I ended the call, dropping my phone to the ground.
Six days to get over Niall, starting now.