Clementine had slept abnormally long today, midday was already over and she could hear the busy streets outside of her window. She looked up from her sheets and a bright flash of light blinded her, the window was opened completely.
-Did I forget to close it last night?-, she asked herself and raised her head.
Next to her on the small nightstand something had changed, next to her good old hat stood a jar full of pickles. A small note was lying there as well.
"For the little hunger before lunch.", she read out loud and a smile found it's way up to her face. Kate had been here, Clem recognized her sloppy handwriting. She must have been in here while she was asleep.
-How did I not wake up?-, the teenager thought, her sense had always been so sharp that she'd wake up immediately if someone was sneaking up to her.
A loud growling interrupted her thinking, she flinched as she felt how hungry she really was. It was like a hole in her stomach, it was clenched like a fist.
"This comes in handy now, thanks Kate.", the girl said and picked up the jar, opening it with a swift motion.
The a little unpleasant smell of vinegar pierced into her nose but she didn't mind and bit into one of the vegetables. The sour taste made her feel good, even though she had never liked pickles. When she had finished, most of the glass was empty, she felt a bit sad about it, she had eaten everything and not even saved something for the evening.
Clem slid towards the edge of the large bed, her prosthesis was leaned onto the nightstand. It had felt lonely to sleep in this huge bed without Louis but she pushed this thought away, he would be back soon so why bother? She put her stump into the padding and bend down to close the fasteners when she realized that something had changed. Her belly had grown a small bit, it wasn't visible but Clementine could feel it.
"Hey you, growing faster I see...", she whispered with on hand on the bulge.
The teenager had lost any fear about it now and she was feeling love for what she and Louis had created, she couldn't wait until the baby would arrive. After gently massaging her belly she stood up and walked over to the door, ready to await Louis' arrival.
"Hey Javi, hey Kate, any news on the situation yet?", Clem asked as she found the couple sitting in the living room, both of them had cups with freshly brewed coffee.
"Yeah, they did it, the Delta has fallen!", Javier exclaimed and walked over to her, pulling her into a friendly hug.
"That's amazing!", she answered and laughed out in happiness, the war was over, she could finally live in peace again.
"And what's with Louis and AJ?", she asked with a grin.
"Haven't heard anything till now but they should return with the first group, that would be this evening four o'clock.", the man replied and patted her shoulder, "Come, sit down and get a coffee."
"I'll pass, I have no need for caffeine right now, I don't know why."
Clem walked around the couch and settled down with an audibly loud exhale. Kate raised her eyebrow.
"You slept like a stone yesterday, you didn't even notice me when I opened the window.", she noted with a grin.
Clementine laughed, "Yeah, I think pregnancy is getting to me. Thanks for the pickles by the way, I ate most of them already..."
Kate followed her example and a laugh left her lips.
"Well, every story I heard seems to be true. I've got some left for later, just ask if you need them."
The teenager nodded and her gaze swiped across the room, loud shuffling footsteps were coning from the floor above. Gabe came down the stairs, his clothes were ruffled and so was his hair, small blue rings were visible under his eyes. When he saw Clem he quickly fixed his shirt and grinned while putting on his beanie. Clem noticed that she had never seen Gabe without his cap, his brown hair wasn't even that bad like he had described.
"Good morning Clem.", he said, a smirk appeared on his face, "How's the night been?"
"Good I guess, I slept longer than ever even though Lou wasn't there with me.", she replied.
She looked down onto a magazine and didn't notice the quick look of jealousy and disgust on the boys face, it was gone when she glanced towards him again.
"There you go Gabe, your pancakes are ready.", Javier called out from the kitchen.
He turned around to Clementine.
"Want some?"
"Nah, thanks though.", she answered and smiled, the boys cheeks were a little redder than usual when he turned around and walked into the kitchen.
The expected arrival was getting closer and closer, Clem's heart was almost exploding from longing after Louis on her side, the feeling of squeezing his body to hers, the touch of their lips, the endless love he was showing her. Every minute felt like an eternity, she just couldn't wait to see his cute smiling face again.
She looked at the clock, only ten minutes remained.
-I'll take some flowers with me, that will be cute.-, she thought and picked up the bunch, the door creaked a little bit when she opened it, the hinges should get oiled soon.
The way to the gates was short, only a few minutes passed until she got there, a crowd of people had gathered there already. She could see wives with children but some men too. Entire families waited for their loved ones to return, hoping they were all right.
When Clementine was about to walk up the stairs to see how close the column of homecoming soldiers was, she heard the gates open, the sliding of metal on metal was ear-splitting like always. The girl rushed down the stairs and tried to get to the front of the crowd but it was too thick to get through so she waited it out.
Slowly but surely the men and women who helped to bring down the Delta basis flooded into the city, Clem heard happy cries when wives found their husbands, parents their children. Her heart was banging louder and louder now, she watched the newcomers closely, not wanting to miss her boyfriends return.
She saw Tripp walking through the gates, his face turned down to the earth.
Her heart felt heavier than ever so she ran up to the muscular man and hugged him.
"Tripp, you're back!"
He smiled weakly, deep sadness was reflected by his eyes.
"Hey Clementine..."
She looked up to him and her smile faded when she saw the look in his eyes.
"What is it? Where's Louis?"
A tear fell down his cheek, it hit the floor with a quiet splash as he hugged her.
"I'm so sorry Clem, I failed you, I-"
She ripped herself free from his grip, rage filled her soul.
"What are you saying?!", she cried, the crowd of people around them threw sympathetic looks in her direction, they knew what must have happened.
"He...He's dead Clem...", the man whispered with a hand on his downcast face.
A sudden numbness packed her body, tears streamed down her face.
"I TRUSTED YOU!", she yelled in despair, if she would have taken her knife to the gates she would have stabbed him right in front of everyone.
Instead she punched him in the face, he staggered some steps back and recovered quickly, not even reacting to the pain.
"I deserve it.", he said, his voice was full of guilt and sorrow.
Clementine threw herself on him and punches rained down upon the mans body, she put all her force into them. Her vision turned blurry from the tears in her eyes, she couldn't think or see straight. All the feelings she had bottled up and suppressed with her love for Louis burst out again, she felt like she was loosing her mind.
"I HATE YOU!", she cried and punched his chest rapidly.
After many hits she started loosing force, the punches got slower and slower until they stopped, leaving a little girl crying like a baby.
She felt how strong hands lifted her up and carried her away, she didn't have any bit of power left to stop it. Her tears flowed like waterfalls, her breathing got irregular, she gasped for air every second. Her chest felt like it was getting squeezed tightly, leaving no room for her to breathe in properly. She heard the gasps and cries of Kate and Javi, both asking what had happened even though they knew the truth.
With a final effort she ripped herself free from Tripp's arms and fell to the ground, her back hit the floor but she felt no pain, only blank emptiness. She recovered quickly without help and ran up the stairs, hitting the walls with the blurry vision she had. Clementine threw herself against the door to her room, busting it open and slamming it shut behind her. She felt so angry, sad and alone at the same time, it was a hundred times worse than when Louis had been shot. Back then she knew that he was going to be okay somehow, hope hadn't been lost. But now she felt darkness and a hole there where he had been. She threw her broken body onto the bed and kicked the blankets, her artificial leg almost deployed the knife within so much force was behind the kicks.
"AAAH!", she yelled, letting all her despair and grief out of her soul. The feelings left her as an empty shell of her former self, not capable of thinking straight, it felt like she was getting insane.
The door opened slowly, revealing the peeking head of Gabe. He walked up to the shuddering girl, careful not to hurt her feelings. Instead of saying anything, he sat down next to her on the bed. His arm wandered to her back which was turned towards him and started to stroke it, gently and sympathetic.
Clem was so sad and broken that she turned around and hugged him, crying on his shoulder, her sobbing was getting dampened by the boys hoodie.
"He's gone Gabe, he's dead!", she sobbed, her voice broke into a raspy tone, she wasn't able to talk normally.
"I know Clem, I'm sorry...", he replied and continued to stroke her back.
Her sobbing started to diminish, her body was starting to get itself together. She lifted her puffed eyes and looked at the teenager next to her.
"Thank you Gabe...", she said while wiping away her tears.
"For what?", he asked, not sure of what to say.
"For being here, accompanying me...It's just...I can't live without him..."
She laid down again and left his shoulder, digging her body into the bed sheets.
"I would like to be alone now.", she whispered in pain, Gabe nodded and walked to the door again, throwing one last look onto her before carefully closing the door.
"Why has this life to be cruel?", she whispered between two sobs, "What have I done to earn this much pain?" Clementine covered her head with the blanket, the darkness enveloping her. She closed her eyes, wishing this was just a bad dream. The numbness packed her body again, this time sending her into a deep slumber.