(Hero)
She loves me.
I know she does.
There's no way she doesn't.
Maybe she forgot to say it?
Fuck, of course she didn't forget.
If she wanted to say it, she would've by now.
Either you said it too soon or she just doesn't feel the same.
My thoughts were racing, preventing me from getting any sleep.
Jo had gone through a lot within past few hours and dropping the bombshell on her that I had probably wasn't the smartest idea.
But I knew that's how I felt about her, and I was pretty sure she felt the same way about me.
I could only hope that she forgot I had even said it, and we can just go back to the way things were.
I would let her tell me when she's ready, wanting for her to be comfortable with her feelings for me.
She seemed pretty comfortable when she was sucking your dick.
I squeeze my eyes closed, trying to block out my thoughts as I attempt to fall asleep.
Unfortunately for me, I only get about two hours before I have to be up for the day.
I decide to make myself coffee with the machine that was provided in the room. The coffee was bland, but I needed some energy in me, especially if I was going to get through today.
My plan was to just act natural, act like I hadn't said anything. Maybe she'll tell me first thing when she sees me, or later tonight before we go to sleep.
But that only leads my thoughts to Maria, her words repeating in my head over and over.
I may have very well fucked things up between Jo and I because of three simple words. After everything we've been through, and how hard we fought for this, my blood boils at the thought of Maria being able to say I told you so.
But the terms wouldn't be on an overly exposed relationship. It would be because I was an insensitive ass who was so overwhelmed and consumed by the woman he loved most in the world that he went ahead and jumped the gun as always.
I knew deep down that I was overthinking all of this, but how couldn't I? I wanted to hear those words said back to me, to hear that she loved me too. That reassurance of our relationship reaching the next level.
I jump slightly when I hear knocking on the door, and I quickly move to answer it.
"I've been knocking. You didn't hear me?" Jamie asks with a laugh.
"Sorry." I gush, opening the door wider for her to come in.
"It's okay. I have your outfit ready if you want to change while Trace finishes with Anna."
I nod my head before taking the garment bag from her.
"Oh wait, hang on. I forgot the shoes." She says. "I'll be right back."
Once she leaves, I put on the outfit. A grey pair of trousers with pant legs that rested just above my ankles and a white pleated sweater. Jamie returns moments later with a pair of brown leather loafers, and I slip into them.
"Lovely." Jamie nods in approval. "Michael has great taste."
"I helped." I point out with a laugh.
"How're you feeling? Anything you need, anything I can do for you?" She asks, causing me to smile.
"I'm good Jamie, thank you." I tell her.
I find myself wishing that Jo could have someone as easy going and caring as Jamie, knowing it would make our lives so much easier. But I quickly push the overall thought of her out of my mind, knowing somehow I'd get caught back up in the "she loves me, she loves me not" battle I was having with myself.
Trace comes in a few moments later and does my hair for me.
He looks me over quickly after finishing before his eyes widen. "You need some concealer today my friend."
"I couldn't sleep." I admit.
"I can see that." He laughs before pulling the tube of concealer out of his bag. He diligently covers up the dark circles under my eyes before nodding in approval. "Much better."
Anna is waiting for us when I step out into the hallway. She gives me a soft smile before informing me that our interviews were going to be done separately today.
Realization hits me as I remember that Jo and I were on our own today, knowing that we'd have to try to keep things neutral between us. At least with Anna around, she was a great buffer and it made things easier for us to keep calm, cool, and collected.
But when Jo and I were on our own, anything was bound to happen.
My heart skips a beat when she comes out of her room, in a simple black and white polka dot dress and black heels.
She gives me a beautiful smile, warming my heart even more.
I remind myself over and over to keep my cool, noting that she seemed to be okay and things weren't awkward between us.
I could only hope that she'd say the words sooner rather than later, that way I could stop beating myself up about this whole thing.
Just three words, and eight letters.
That's all I needed.
The interviews
Anna is brought into a separate room before Jo and I move into the room we were being interviewed in. The room had mahogany walls, a large window with a silk curtain covering it, a metal table, and a large backdrop of the French After poster.
Jo and I sit next to each other in the two white leather chairs across from the single one where I assumed the person interviewing us would be sitting.
We sit in awkward silence as we wait, and I can't help but steal a few glances at Jo here and there.
She catches me looking and gives me a small smile. "Hey."
"Hi." I say.
"You okay?" She asks.
I only told you that I loved you and didn't get a response, but I guess you could call that okay.
"Yeah." I lie.
She had to be onto something here. Was she going to break the ice? Was she going to confront me about what I said? Or just get it over with and tell me she loves me too.
I was about to explode.
Before I can say anything else, a woman with blond hair and a red blazer walks in, a warm smile plastered on her face.
She introduces herself as Eve before sitting in the chair across from us. During our interview with Eve, we discuss the basics of the film followed by our usual list of questions asked during every interview. However, Jo and I are both quite intrigued by the fan questions we are asked and according to Eve, they were given the opportunity to submit them on Twitter.
I can feel my nerves easing more and more as we go, seeing that Jo and I were able to get through the interview without any noticeable tension. I was happy to see that Jo was in a much better mood, finally being able to sit down through an interview for the first time in the past few days after fully getting over food poisoning.
After our interview with Eve, we play a few games, a lot of which involve holding up answer boards and being asked about personal preferences.
I smile when Jo mentions her disdain for fancy restaurants, making a mental note to keep her away from them from now on.
I find myself feeling pretty optimistic as we continue to playfully banter, feeling as though we were our old selves again.
Like nothing had happened.
Like I hadn't said anything... shocking to her.
I push the worrying aside and focus on Jo, and how her beautiful smile radiates the entire room.
Back at the hotel
(Jo)
My head was spinning. Everything had happened so fast last night, that I barely had any time to process anything until today during our interviews.
From Maria, to Hero, to the press, to trying to recover from my illness, this trip has been a whirlwind for me, and I was happy to have some time to relax and sightsee today.
I smile to myself as I think about last night, how Hero and I got to see Paris for ourselves, especially after escaping the watchful eye of my agent.
I don't think I'd ever be able to thank him enough for that, giving me the opportunity to experience such a rush like that.
I felt like I could do anything with him, be anyone I wanted to be.
And I loved him for it.
After that was a blur, the remaining adrenaline sending me into a sex crazed frenzy, until Maria ever so willingly interrupted us.
I knew sooner or later Hero was going to lose it, and I'm glad he did.
I was tired of Maria constantly interjecting and interfering in our relationship.
There were other matters for us to worry about, and she shouldn't have to be one of them.
Hero seemed slightly off this morning however. I could imagine why. He seemed pretty upset last night about the Maria thing, and I'm sure he was feeling similar amounts of stress and anxiety as I was.
I could only hope that we finish this tour strong, and we can take time to figure things out and recoup.
We were given time to ourselves before our signing. I was planning on spending time with Hero, but he mumbled something about being tired and disappeared into his room.
I decided to change, wanting to be in something a bit more comfortable than a dress and heels.
I put on a matching tan plaid skirt and shirt before slipping into a pair of black leather loafers.
I lay the tan bomber jacket that I was planning on wearing on the bed next to me before checking my phone.
I send a few messages to friends and family before scrolling through Instagram for a few moments.
After getting bored, I decide to check if any of my photoshoots or online interviews have been released yet, wanting to see how they came out.
When I search my name, thousands of websites and links pop up. I try a few more search combinations until I stumble upon an article about me on a website I don't recall interviewing with.
My heartrate increases slightly when I realize the article is about Hero and I, the headline questioning its readers about whether or not they think we're a couple. Throughout the article, many accusations and assumptions are made about Hero and I's relationship. One in particular, the idea that Hero and I could be in a potential relationship to benefit the success of the movie, made my blood boil.
I wasn't one to believe majority of the shit written on the internet, but the idea that Hero and I were faking a relationship to benefit the movie?
If anything, we were trying to hide our relationship for the benefit of the movie. Hero and I have been putting ourselves through hell and back to keep things professional between us, that way our personal feelings wouldn't affect our ability to work together and with other people. But now that people were already assuming things, part of me wondered if it was worth keeping it a secret after all.
Sure, people could think whatever they wanted. But what was the reason in hiding something when it wasn't what people thought?
It was what they knew.
That Hero and I were together.
I hop off the bed, and pace back and forth for a moment, debating on whether or not I should bring this up to Hero.
I know he had said in the past that he didn't care, and it was up to me. But maybe his opinion had changed.
It couldn't hurt to try.
"What're you doing?" I hear Maria ask, causing me to jump.
I had forgotten she was in the room, meaning that she could probably sense my overthinking as per usual.
"Thinking." I tell her, not having the energy to explain to her the full extent of my thoughts.
I knew that if I told Maria that rumors were arising on the internet, I would hear nothing but "I told you so". She's called it since the beginning, and I couldn't give her that power over us.
Hero and I needed to figure this out ourselves, and I wasn't going to let Maria get in the way.
The minute I open the door to make my way over to Hero's to talk to him, I hear Anna calling for us to get going for the signing.
Maria makes her way out from behind me, before making her way down the hall.
"Hero!" Anna shouts, and within a matter of seconds Hero emerges from his room with Trace in tow.
"Sorry, I was not about to have him walking around looking the way he was." Trace says, causing Hero to roll his eyes.
I hang back for a moment, trying to see if I could casually bring it up on our way downstairs.
But the minute I open my mouth to speak, I hear Jamie calling to us.
"There's a bunch of fans outside waiting to see you. I don't think you're going to have time to meet them before we go." She tells us.
"I'll tell them." Hero says before quickly walking ahead.
I follow his pace as quickly as I can, hoping to find an opportunity to at least mention that I wanted to talk to him, if not now then later.
But Hero was moving so fast, that by the time we had gotten outside to say a quick hello to the fans, I barely had time to stop before he was turning around and heading towards the van.
"Hero." I gush, trying to get his attention.
He turns and looks at me. "Yeah?"
"I have something I want to tell you." I say.
His eyes widen, and a small smile forms onto his lips. "Yeah?"
"I-"
"Guys hurry up! We're on a schedule." Anna says as calmly as possible from inside the van.
I let out a sigh before shaking my head. "I'll tell you later."
My heart sinks as Hero's smile fades, his head nodding slowly before letting me get into the van first.
After the signing
"Let's get a picture in front of the Eifel Tower!" Anna suggests.
She hands her phone to Trace before pulling me and Hero in for a picture. After the three of us take a picture together, we all decide to take a group picture.
Maria is reluctant at first, but after persistent persuasion from the others, she stands next to me for a picture.
"It's so beautiful isn't it?" Anna says with a sigh.
"It's prettier at night." I simply say, before glancing at her with wide eyes.
She gives me a knowing smirk before glancing back towards the tower. "Is it now?"
"Yeah..." I gush.
"Is that where you two went last night?" She quietly asks and I nod in response.
Before she can say anything else, Hero clears his throat, and I glance behind me. He nods his head to the side, beckoning for me to make my way over to him.
"So what did you want to tell me?" He asks, a smile plastered onto his face.
"Um... I don't think it's a good time to talk about it. Maybe we should wait." I admit.
"For what?" He asks. "Is something wrong..."
"Well," I sigh before looking around to see if anyone was paying attention to us. "I saw an article about us..."
"Oh," He softly says, looking away. "How bad is it?"
"People are saying our relationship is only for the film's publicity."
"What?" Hero says, tilting his head to the side.
"I know." I say with a slight laugh. "And it got me wondering if... maybe we should stop worrying about people finding out when they're already sensing something is going on... that maybe we should come out and tell people we're together."
"I don't know, Jo." Hero huffs.
"Everyone already thinks we're together." I shrug.
"Are we?" He curtly says, causing my stomach to drop.
"W-What?"
"Are we together?" He asks.
"Y-Yes... Hero what're you... what?" I shake my head in disbelief, not understanding what he was talking about.
Was I missing something?
"I mean, are we really a couple Jo? We barely get to spend time together, we're always so consumed with anxiety over what the press will say or do, worried that we'll be caught doing something or not doing enough, and not to mention how we have to be babysat by Maria. I'm tired of it Jo. I know it's been a lot with the tour, and we're trying to take things day by day. But Jo, this doesn't feel like a relationship. This feels like a secret, and that's exactly what it is. I can't hold your hand in public, I can't kiss you, I can't even tell you how I feel without being guilty."
My head was spinning. It seemed as though in a matter of seconds, a switch had flipped, and Hero was resulting back to the way he was in New York.
I could feel myself waiting for him to turn around and say we should forget everything, and if he did, I'd break.
"You can do all of those things." I weakly say.
"For what, Jo? To prove to the world that we're madly in love? That we're together but not for the film? I don't know Jo... I just don't think we should do something just to shut down some rumors. Maybe we're not ready for this yet..."
My chest was aching, and tears were threatening to spill from my eyes.
I was right all along. Ever since the restaurant in Spain, I knew whatever happened on this damn tour would be temporary.
What this tour had become was a test run to see if Hero and I could handle being in a relationship, and obviously we couldn't.
All because we couldn't seem to figure out what we wanted from each other.
I thought I had, but turns out, I had thought a lot of other things too.
For one, that Hero loved me.
"So, let me guess." I say through gritted teeth. "You want to forget?"
Hero frantically shakes his head. "No, I don't want to forget. I think we just need time."
A single tear falls from my eye before I quickly wipe it away. "Fine."
Before he can say another word, I turn on my heel and make my way towards the group.
"Let's start heading back." I hear Anna say.
"Jo!" Hero calls to me, but I don't look back.
I couldn't.
I glance up at Maria who was looking at me with a confused expression. "You were right."
Her lips form a frown before she hooks her arm through mine and leads me back towards the van.