My love for you is like the raging sea,
So powerful and deep it will forever be.
Through storm, wind, and heavy rain,
It will withstand every pain.
Our hearts are so pure and love so sweet.
I love you more with every heartbeat!
~Elaine Chetty.
Frustration poured from me as I made my way to our blacked out SUV. Onika's breaths were heavy in my ears as I rolled her body into the back of the truck. I had no other option but to take her, and honestly I didn't want one.
While I tackled Onika to the ground Rihanna had finished the job, doing all the dirty work. I wanted nothing more than to get laid tonight but had somehow ended up getting my hands dirty, collecting a debt, and having to kidnap a woman because they were now a witness to a fucking murder.
"If you had just killed her, then you wouldn't have a reason to be frustrated, now would you?" Rih's annoying voice was getting on my last fucking nerve.
"Funny. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one," I said, irritated beyond disbelief while Rih's laughter filled the SUV. After I secured Onika in the back of the truck by tying her hands and feet together and gagging her, I went back to help Rih load the pieces into a bag. We placed the body bag in the back seat and jumped into the truck, taking off.
I had just managed to get into the driver's seat once again after dropping the bag off at the location that was stated on the statement. As I slid the key into the ignition, my eyes caught on my hands. They were still coated in dry blood.
"Where are we going now? I'm not sure that we can take her back to the house," Rih's added, pulling me from my thoughts. I knew she was right. Bringing her back to the house would cause more trouble and eventually would lead to her death. The other women didn't have women there. There was no reason to. That's what cheap hotels and clubs like the one we had been at were for.
"I don't fucking know, Rih. This is about as far as I got with my thinking," I admitted out loud, beating my hand against the steering wheel as if a better answer would pop into my head from the act of rage.
You shouldn't have fucking ran after her. You should've let Rihanna shoot her. Kill her in cold blood. I was fighting against my inner demons, the part of me that wanted to kill her and throw her body in the Manhattan River. Yet, here she sat in the back of my fucking SUV, bound and gagged, still breathing, still living.
"Please tell me..." Rih's breath filtered in through her nose. I could see her hamster wheel moving, the pieces being put together. "What in the actual fuck are you thinking?" That was just the fuck of it. I wasn't. Hell I still wasn't.
"No. I don't know what the fuck happened. I just know that I can't kill her. At least not yet." There was a piece of me that didn't want to think about her blood being spilled, one being that I had yet to know her, and two, she seemed too innocent for something like that to take place. I knew I was a bad woman, a person with a less than stellar track record; but I couldn't hurt her.
The silence was unsettling between us as Rihanna ran a hand over her black long deep waves. "Your option is to take her. Keep her in your suite and not allow the other women to know." She sounded as shocked as I looked at the idea of keeping her a secret. Yet, it was the one and only idea that currently made any sense, but it was also the most dangerous.
"Fuck!" I cursed. I knew there was no going back now. I had already made the decision to keep her alive. Now I had to follow through with it. Turning the engine over, I threw the vehicle in drive, and headed towards the house. How could I be nervous over something as small as the woman in the back of my SUV?
"She's going to get you killed," Rih reminded me.
"As if I already didn't know that, but so is anything and everything else I do!" I exclaimed, turning onto one of the side streets. Tonight wasn't about killing, it was about getting pussy. But somehow I was getting far more than I bargained for.
"You know she has to die no matter what. Putting it off won't make it any easier or worse..." Rihanna tried to sound sincere, but I realized in her words just how much of a pussy I had to look like.
"I'm aware she has to die. She watched us murder someone, that's besides the point. I'm going to get what I want from her, take it if I have to. Then and only then will I watch her bleed out."
The words rolling off my tongue disgusted me, but so did the fact that it bothered me to think of killing her. Rih must've seen the anger in my eyes because she seemed to pull away a bit.
"I'm just trying to remind you babe. I don't want you becoming attached if you know what I mean." She winked as if she was trying to attempt a joke, but I found it completely humorless. I knew what she meant, so did the other women we lived with and worked with. One had become attached to another female not that long ago, almost going as far as wanting to quit the syndicate, and go out and live a normal life. We couldn't allow that to happen, so we did away with her.
Turns out it made her into an even more ruthless killer. I didn't ever want to find myself in a situation like that, so I would keep Onika at a distance. It was the only thing I could do.
"Attached would mean I would have to like her, feel some type of emotion for her, and we both know that emotion isn't really my cup of tea." I turned off onto another side street. We were less than five blocks from the house, and my adrenaline was starting to pump, my heart pounding loudly in my ears.
"Emotions don't always have to be present at first. You should know that, hoe," Rih shot back at me, but I was too caught up in my own head to respond. Instead, I headed down the alleyway behind our house, pushing the button on the garage door opener. The garage opened revealing that only one of the other three women was currently home. Relief coated my insides immediately.
Why was I scared? Nervous even? These weren't emotions that I knew how to handle.
"Take her straight upstairs. I'll distract whomever is here," Rih said, jumping from the car the second I put it in park. She didn't seem to care that she had to keep a secret, then again I had seen her do a lot of shit and never said anything.
I nodded my head without a word said and opened the door. My steps were heavy as I headed to the back of the SUV, pushing the trunk button on the key fob. As the door swung open, my eyes landed on her lifeless body. Yes, her chest was moving at a slow rate, but everything else on her made her seem lifeless. Her makeup was smudged, her dress ripped from the struggle she had with me.
No emotions. Turn them off.
The woman underneath all of this, deep in my skin, in my heart told me to let her go. If she could just run fast enough, escape fast enough then she would be free of any chance of death. She would get a chance to live.
But the other part of me, the woman that I was right at this moment told me it could ruin everything. Not only my reputation, but it could very well be my life in place of hers.
"Coast is clear," Rih yelled into the garage, startling me to the point where I almost drew my gun.
"Fuck! I need to get out of my head," I whispered to myself as I grabbed Onika underneath her arms and hauled her up. Her feet dangled over my shoulder and down past my stomach.
She seemed to weigh nothing, her height was barely above five foot, and the most dangerous thing about her at the moment was the fact that she was still breathing. With a slam of the trunk, I headed towards the door into the house.
There's no going back now, Bey.
I hurried up the stairs and into the foyer. The whole place was designed like a bachelor pad, my room being on the top floor. We had big screen TVs and a kitchen that was made for the wildest parties, but we also had our own spaces with our own private bathrooms, personal kitchens, and living spaces within rooms. Really there was no reason for us to venture outside of our floor if we didn't want to. We had everything we needed within a few feet.
Scurrying towards the elevator, I walked through the living room, my head twisting in every direction. I pushed the up key as many times as I possibly could. I knew if I got caught with her, my death and hers would be dooming.
When the elevator dinged, I stepped inside casually and headed towards the top floor. I held my breath until we made it there, Onika's body still unmoving against my own.
"Fucking shit!" I about yelled as I stepped up to the door placing my key card inside to gain entry onto my floor.
My head was a fucking mess. The second I stepped through the door, I placed Onika on my bed and headed straight to the fucking shower. I couldn't think straight with another man's blood on my hands. That and Onika was fucking with my head.
Emotions weren't my thing. Yet,
they were coming to life right before me.