~AN: So this might be triggering for some so PLEASE BE CAREFUL reading it if you know you might react to it, and if you need someone to talk to about anything, message me okay?
Oh, and this one-shot is dedicated to @fangirl-13 because you were the one who suggested that I should write in third person, I don't know if it's any good but I gave it a try (: /M ~
[Part 1 of 3(4)]
"Shut the fuck up Michael." the first time it happened he just laughed it off, assuming Luke was trying to be funny or was having a bad day. He didn't think much of it, knowing very well that he told Luke to shut up all the time and no one cared. But then it kept happening, Luke kept telling him to shut up whenever he opened his mouth, kept snapping at him and telling him off. It was justified most of the time, Michael would mess up a chord or something while they were practising and Luke would get mad at him for forcing them to start over. But then it started happening outside of band practise too, they would just be sitting around watching a movie or something and Luke would get mad if Michael did or said something wrong. Most of the time he didn't even know what he had done. Then he started making comments about what Michael was eating. He made sure to always point out when Michael took another slice of pizza or if he ordered dessert. The others didn't even seem to notice either, they'd just laugh it off or ignore the comments completely.
It went on like this for a while and then things really started to take off. They got asked to be the opening act for One Direction on their Take Me Home tour and things just went on from there. But with the newfound fame came the hate, and that was something no one was used to.
"Hurry the fuck up Michael! You're not the only one who needs to shower!" The banging on the door stops and Michael sighs, watching as the pink and blue water disappears down the drain. He rinses his hair again before just standing there. The sharp metal is digging into his palm and the water stays pink for what feels like forever but eventually that stops as well and he turns the water off, stepping out of the shower and drying himself off with a towel that's a bit too white for his liking. When he's sure there's no visible stains on the towel he unlocks the bathroom door and is just about to step out when Luke shoves him to the side as he walks past, pushing him out of the room and slamming the door shut. Michael stands there for a while, staring at the white door, before turning around and walking over to his bed.
A few hours later and Luke is laying on his bed with his laptop, scrolling through twitter. Michael is sitting on his bed, just sitting there with his elbows resting on his knees, staring at the floor. Luke hasn't said a word to him since he left the bathroom, hasn't even acknowledged his existence, and Michael is scared. He's scared and he needs someone to talk to.
"Luke?" no response. "Luke please, can you please talk to me." Luke stops his scrolling and Michael thinks, if so only for a second, that he's actually going to talk to him, but Luke just flips him off before going back to doing what he was doing.
And now here they are, on stage opening for the biggest boyband in the world. They have played one song and so far everything's going fine. That is until Michael accidentally drops his pick. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but this is the one time when he doesn't have an extra in his pocket. He knows that if he stops playing to go and get a new one he'll piss Luke off, he'll disappoint the fans, and he doesn't want that so he keeps playing, ignoring the pain in his fingers.
"This next song is about gi-" Michael is smiling, looking out at the fans standing there screaming and smiling. He loves this, he loves seeing people happy.
"Shut the fuck up Michael." he gets cut off by Luke, like so many times before. But this is the first time it has happened on stage, in front of people. The fans laughs and Michael tries his best to laugh with them, pretending like it's all just a joke.
"This song is about girls, more specifically about good girls." the crowd cheers and Michael dares to take a look back at Luke, who's standing over with Calum. His jaw is clenched and it's obvious he's pissed, but he won't take it out on Michael yet. "sing along if you know the words!"
"What the hell were you doing out there! Do you think it's funny to mess everything up for us? Do you want us to fail?!" Luke is furious. As soon as he enters the dressing room he walks up to Michael, grabbing the shorter boy's shirt and pushing him up against the wall. "Is this a fucking joke to you?!" Michael shakes his head, focusing his eyes on the water bottle that's laying on the floor. "Fucking look at me when I'm talking to you!" Luke grabs Michael's chin and forces him to look him in the eyes. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Michael can't think of anything to say, he knows nothing will help his situation and that he'll most probably only piss Luke off even more if he as much as opens his mouth, but he wouldn't have had the chance to say anything if he had tried. The door flies open just as Luke raises his fist and half a second later Michael's alone. Luke's sitting on the couch in the middle of the room and has somehow managed to get his phone out too.
"Hi guys! What's up?" Ashton walks over to the mini fridge and pulls out a water bottle before sitting down next to Luke. "What's up with you Mikey, you look terrified." Luke tears his gaze from his phone to look over at Michael, daring him to tell the others what happened, before looking down again. Michael doesn't answer Ashton, he just shakes his head and walks over to the bathroom, locking the door before sitting down with his back pressed against the cold wall. His hands are shaking like mad and when he clenches them in an attempt to make it stop he whines, for the first time noticing the blood on his fingertips, the result of playing an entire gig without a pick. He stays like that for half an hour, with his legs pulled up to his chest and his eyes glued to the floor in front of him. He hears the others move around in the dressing room, he hears the showers being turned on and off and how the door opens a few times before the room on the other side of the bathroom door falls silent. However, Michael still doesn't move. He doesn't want to go back to the bus, he doesn't want to answer any questions, he doesn't want Luke to yell at him or ignore him or glare at him. He just wants to stay where he is forever.
"Mikey?" the knock on the bathroom door scares him, he didn't hear anyone enter the dressing room, but Ashton's soft voice makes him get on his feet and unlock the door. He takes a step back as it opens, revealing Ashton standing there with a small bag in his hand. "I brought you a change of clothes and a towel, since you didn't have any here." Michael simply nods and waits for Ashton to hand him the bag and leave, but instead he steps forward and pulls him in for a hug, completely ignoring the fact that Michael's still covered in sweat from the concert.
"Ashton..." Michael immediately regrets speaking, he sounds like he's about to cry. Ashton doesn't say anything about it though, he just pulls him even closer and doesn't let go until several minutes later.
"It's okay to be sad sometimes Mikey, you don't have to hide it." Michael nods, somewhat relieved that Ashton hasn't figured out what's really going on. "Do you want me to stay while you shower and stuff?"
"No it's fine." Ashton hesitates and for a second it seems like he's gonna stay anyway. He can't do that, if he stays he'll find out and Michael can't have that.
"Okay, we'll be in the bus then. We'll probably staying here for the night so you don't need to hurry." they stay like that for a while, standing there just looking at each other, and Michael get a sudden urge to just tell Ashton everything. But he doesn't, he needs something to go to when everything becomes too much to handle. "I love you Mikey." Ashton smiles softly and before Michael gets a chance to answer he leaves the dressing room.
Michael didn't return to the bus until three hours after Ashton left the dressing room. After he showered he ended up just walking around in the empty arena, feeling just as empty. Normally he'd feel happy and excited, standing in the very back of the arena and looking towards the stage where he was going to or where he had performed, but now it just made him sad. He then slowly walked back to the stage and as he crossed it on his way backstage he saw something on the floor. Picking it up he recognized the pick he had dropped earlier. Instead of throwing it away, blaming it for messing everything up, blaming it for how mad Luke had gotten, he simply pocketed it, knowing it would be stupid to blame a piece of plastic for his own mistakes.
when he finally got back to the bus the others had already gone to bed, but they were all awake. Ashton pulled the curtain to the side when he heard Michael enter the bus and Michael sent him a small smile, trying to assure him that he was fine and that Ashton didn't need to ask him in front of the others. Ashton nodded and went back to doing whatever he was doing and Michael takes his jeans off before climbing into his own bunk. After that it doesn't take long until the others say goodnight and turn off their lights. Michael, of course, does the same but he doesn't sleep. He lays there in the dark, slowly scrolling through his timeline on twitter. The fans, just like Luke, noticed how much worse he played tonight and there's so much hate. He tries to fight the tears, he tries to stay quiet, but he can't hold back the sob that rips through his body and even though he buries his face in the pillow he knows that if anyone's awake they heard him.
"Shut the fuck up for the fucks sake, is that so damn hard?" the voice comes from above him and of course it's Luke, Michael would like to believe that the others wouldn't say that to him.
"sorry." Luke doesn't answer, Michael hears him move around in the top bunk and after a while he starts hearing soft snores coming from above him. He lays there for a while longer, listening to the people he loves more than anything mumble things in their sleep and snore, before making a decision. He leaves his bunk again and puts his jeans back on before picking up the first sweater he finds, that just so happens to be Lukes, and puts it on over his t-shirt. When he five minutes later has managed to get his shoes on without anyone noticing he grabs his notebook and wallet, putting the wallet in his pocket before ripping a page from the notebook and writing two words on it before leaving it on the pillow in his bunk. After that he makes sure he's got his phone before walking over to the door, quietly opening it and leaving the bus, walking away from the arena and the only life he knows, with no plan, no idea of where to go and the two words he wrote still on his mind. You win.