note// just ten more chapters left :x i can't believe how far this story has come. thank you all so much. writing out our strange fantasies has become one of the only sources of positivity in my life because well, life's a bitch.
i got emotional during this chapter bc there's a lot to think about. I want you guys to reflect on this chapter and see what point the story is trying to get across. so read every line please.
Serenity;
Elliot was a mess the second we arrived. His eyes were a light pink from the constant sobbing. His hair was a mess of knots, an untrimmed mess. Overall, he looked depressed and clearly stressed with his current circumstances.
I frowned, feeling sympathetic and emotional for him. He opened the door with such despair. It hurt me to see him like that. Usually, he's calling me a slut and joking about what he did Friday night. Our friendship is ridiculous, but that's what makes me so emotional now. It feels wrong having him this way. His struggles affect me so much it's like we're the same person.
"Hey," I whispered, pulling him into a hug. He hadn't pushed me or way nor accepted the comforting gesture fully. But he did allow me to embrace him for a few seconds.
He pulled away, sniffling a bit. "So, my parents refuse to let me leave the house. They think it's a phase."
Behind me, Clary sighs heavily. "In all honesty, I'll keep you in my house. I wouldn't want to be around people like that."
I was hoping Clary kept her mouth shut because she tends me to be a little harsh. So am I, but I mean, Clary sometimes crosses the line. However, her kindness was a show of sympathy, and Elliot seemed to be okay with it for that time being.
"Thanks, Clary. But, I think I'm just going to have to stay home. It'll blow over eventually."
The frown on my lips deepened in disagreement. "You can't stay here, Elliot. Just look at you and it's only been a day after!" I exclaimed, astonished that he'd even think about staying home, especially with his parents. Mine and his are alike in some attributes, but I can't let him depress himself here. I understand that he wants to avoid the trouble of leaving, but it's just not good for him.
Elliot sighed, rubbing his nose with his hand before shrugging lazily. "I can't afford to get the cops called on so they can hunt me down. I'm not in the mood for a chase, Serenity. Plus, my parents can only do so much, you know? I'll just have to live with it."
"But they're your parents, Elliot. How are you going to tolerate how they're treating you over this?" I asked.
He gave me a saddened smile. "Sometimes, parents are like us all over again. They need time to get used to things and appreciate them. I think that we both learned a lot this summer, Serenity." Elliot stated softly, our eyes locked. Mine filled with a hallow anger that was a bottomless pit, while his held some sort of depression, but filled with hope.
"Sometimes," he continued, "The best we can do is appreciate our own parents, too. All their thoughts and rules are for us to learn and grow up. For our safety."
Not only is he saying this because he knows better, but because he's making sure I understand this applies to me. I stared at him, my lips parted while I tried to come up with words to form sentences. But as nothing came, I was left to ponder about his own words.
Clary stood there silently, watching between us every now and then. Her frown was prominent and she too was filled with thought and somehow we all felt a surge of regret blow throughout the three bodies.
"I feel like it's time for us to just get into good terms with our parents. All this hiding shit is dead now." He saw the opportunity to talk again. "I mean, you came clean. Well, that all-day-dick-sucker had done it for you. But at least your parents know. We'll be seniors and almost two weeks, and it's time to just put our differences aside."
"I'm focusing on school and my friends. I don't want to have to have this crazy heavy burden because I'm gay, and my parents hate me for it," he said quietly, his bright blue eyes tearing up. "But because I feel like the fighting, constant hiding, sneaking around...it's not worth it anymore, Serenity. You feel?"
My body was as still as a statue. I felt a heavy feeling in my chest. I didn't know whether to cry or just to agree. Because Elliot is right. All my life I've ran around, not realizing that I should appreciate the parents I have. That it's time I grew up a little and realized my parents don't hate me.
I came here for Elliot, and ended up realizing such things.
Clary spoke out first. "That's true," she shrugged. "My mom isn't around most of the time. When she is, she doesn't give two shits about me. My dad's a goner. I've never met that douche bag. But I live with it, I guess?"
Elliot laughed. "Okay, Clary. That's not what I'm trying to say, but nice try, dumb-ass. I pity you."
She playfully growled at him.
"My point is I'm not leaving. I'm glad you guys came, but...halfway I realized I'm not shit until I graduate and get a job. I find myself screaming goals at people with nice cars and giant houses. Hell, Harry's mother is goals." He chuckled sadly.
I'm moved that Elliot feels that way. I find that he's right. I mean, I can't keep up this rebellious shit for too long. Sometimes, we've got to grow up about things. Realize that all this constant sneaking around and lying can really become a tough weight to lift up afterwards. I'm upset suddenly that I hadn't thought about it before. That I hadn't realized, at first.
"Are you sure you're okay, Elliot?" I asked quietly.
He nodded. "Yeah, yeah." He waved his hand me in a careless motion. "I think we should just all be home, bathing in the water our parents pay for."
Clary laughed. "Since when did you become so appreciative of your parents? Aren't you supposed to be spazzing and crying because they hate you?"
My hand flew to smack Clary's arm quite aggressively. The look in my eyes signalled her to shut up. I knew at a point she'd say something.
Elliot chuckled. "I'm weird like that, I guess."
We gave Elliot numerous of other hugs until he shooed us away. It makes me think hard. All these years I've been telling myself my parents are awful. They're on my back every day and night, just so I can do great things when they're too old to ask me if I've done my work, or if I've paid my bills. They won't last forever.
Some kids don't even have parents, and I'm here under appreciating mine.
I wore a saddened frown through the ride home. I decided to go home because I didn't want to deal with Harry and his stubbornness. Clary quietly waved to me once I stepped out of the car. She rolled down the window to speak to me.
She sent me a strange smile. One that means multiple things, so many I can't quite figure out. "I guess it's that time of year again. Back to school in two weeks, huh?"
"Seniors." I breathed. "That's crazy. Time flies. I remember taking mirror selfies in the bathrooms as freshman during physics class."
Clary chuckled, slowly shaking her head. "With our low quality iPod cameras."
"Oh lord," I laughed softly.
Her smile faded a bit, her eyes glancing at the road and never returning to look at me. "Do you think we'll all be friends? When high school's over. What happens when big-bad college comes around?"
I paused, then shrugged. "At this point, I'm not sure of anything. All I want is for things to just be right for a while."
"Yeah, me too. Life's a bitch," she muttered. "As long as I have you guys, I'm okay. I don't need DNA to prove who is family. People don't always have the perfect parents, Serenity. It sucks, now that I think about it. I wish I had someone to come home to and bitch at me to do my homework. Maybe I wouldn't be taking extra courses Senior year to graduate."
There's this guilt inside of me. I wish I hadn't been so arrogant about it. I was sure of myself, but that was all wrong. Roughly three months ago, I thought everything was shit. Life is about partying and getting wild, and pushing away those who take that right from you. But, the ones that profit from life are the ones who learn to appreciate even the smallest of things.
Like when I was yelled at to do the dishes. When's the last time I actually did them? Or when I forgot the damn chocolate ice cream at the grocery store that one day.
Maybe life has so many definitions. Ones that come from various people with different personalities. I took so much shit for granted, and I shouldn't have. When was the last time I told one of my parents that I love them? Not very recently, that's for sure.
I watched Clary drive away after we said our goodbyes. My body felt tired and almost dreadful. I felt like a wet mop being dragged around after hearing my friends and their point of views. Who would have thought? I'm not the only one struggling to straighten out the relationship between my parents and I. I'm such an ungrateful brat.
Once I opened the door, I saw Willie playing with the toy cars he spreads across the living room and never picks up. The ones I always pick up for him. My mother was reading a book on the couch, where she'd occasionally glance at Willie with a smile. My father is reading over some paperwork from the restaurant. The one I stopped working at.
"I heard about your boyfriend." Was the first thing my father said when he looked up from the papers he had spread across the coffee table.
I looked at him, not a single trace of annoyance could be detected on my face. I know because I didn't feel it. I didn't feel anything, really. The point now was to just say what I needed to say all this time.
My mother sighed. "Are you alright? You look very depressed."
She obviously now became concerned because my usual fire wasn't be hurled around. I just couldn't do it today. My head shook on its on while I said, "I'm fine. Just...I want you guys to know that I love you. And that I appreciate what you guys do for me. That you care. I'll just be in my room if you guys need me."
They didn't have time to respond as I stalked up the stairs and into my bedroom. I felt like crap, to say the least. Why couldn't I do anything right?
Harry;
I picked at the hem of my shirt for hours, scrolled through my phone for another two, and played some video games until seven PM. All because I was waiting for her to come back. But I now knew that after the jackass I was being, she won't be coming back nor returning any of my calls, or even texting back until I apologized.
Why should I have to apologize for being myself? I don't think that's right. I just don't care about what goes on with me. I'm too busy worrying about her, about Belle, and my mother. My family.
But sometimes I think wow I fucked up. A lot. In this life I've done so much shit that I can't take back. I'm twenty in February, and I've only got so much time to get my life together. It irritates me that I'm feeling regretful, when I never do that. I'm always the one to be careless, be wild. Party, do drugs.
I can't learn.
I'm a fucking idiot. I failed my English class through so many grades because I refused to acknowledge that I have dyslexia. I read Derek's texts that one time by luck, honestly. I'm not going back out there in the world to be made fun of again. To be called stupid because I couldn't fucking read that sentence in seventh grade.
"You've been sitting on that couch all day." My mother spoke behind me. I snapped my head in her direction, taking a minute to release my thoughts. "Where's Serenity?"
I shrugged. "Home? We had a bit of an argument."
She frowned, taking a seat next to me. "About what?" I groaned about it, just remembering our words, and as I leaned my head on her shoulder, she placed her hands in my hair. I remember doing this when I was upset. She placed one hand on my back and rubbed soothingly. That was years ago.
"She got mad at me. Because I said I don't really care about anything, but my family and her. For some reason she got all pissed off because I don't have the need to ever care for myself."
Mother paused for a second. "I see. You know why she said those things?" She asked softly, and I waited for her to continue. "Because she cares about you, Harry. So much. And I see her reasoning. You are my son and I should have said this before. But you have more potential than you realize. You put yourself down so much...and she sees someone strong, someone worthy of much more than being on house arrest."
"Sweetheart, you are not stupid. You are not a failure. You know who you are? You're the boy who she has fallen in love with. You are a big piece of her. And you are a big piece of Belle. You're someone important. To me, you are my son and I love you, just like Belle does."
I blew air from my mouth, and I thought she was done, but she continued to make this pain appear in my chest.
"We don't want you to live like this. Like you don't matter to anyone. You matter more than anything to Belle. You are all she ever talks about at the daycare. And for Serenity, Harry that girl loves you to pieces. I can see it between you both. You matter more than anything to us all. Even to Gemma who is half way across the world right now. She asks about you on the phone, seeing if you're staying out of trouble." She explained softly, continuing to rub my back in comfort.
"And you know what? You need to stay out of trouble. When these two months are over, you need to find out what you want to do with your life. All those people who think you're a bad person, they don't matter. They don't know the real you. You have such a grand heart, Harry, and you refuse to use it. Don't live like this, please. I beg of you."
A lump grew in my throat, but I swallowed it down and removed my head from her shoulder. I stared into the bright eyes of my mother, seeing her sincerity and her worry. Similar to how Serenity looked at me when she tried getting the point across as well.
"Money will only ever go so far. It won't buy you true love. You'll end up losing her in a year if you keep acting like you're crap," she added softly. "You haven't lived until you can appreciate yourself first."
I sighed heavily. "I'm a fuck up, mum. I've never done anything right."
"It's never too late to begin again." Mum smiled, placing her hand on my cheek. She then said, "Now, get up. I'm going to call Officer Payne and we're going to go somewhere. There is someone you need to see."
note // double update today so stick around for the next chapter soon.