Chapter 15
A L D R I C
For first time, my body refused to get up. I didn't realize it at first, but I had my arms wrapped around Elysia's waist. She was facing the other way, but her hands were holding my arms.
Moon Goddess.
Our bodies were completely aligned with one another. Her back was pressed against my chest. My first instinct was to pull away but I didn't. It felt so good to be in her arms, to her hold just this one time. I never wanted to let her go. Unable to move, I just held her in my arms. She was so soft. All I could do was inhale her sweet scent.
Slowly, I unwrapped my arms around her body. She didn't stir, not for a single moment. As I began to pull the arm that was underneath her body, I realized she started to move.
Fuck. I didn't want to wake her up but I see her body turning until she was face to face with me. When her eyes met, I could hear her heartbeat stop. It did that a lot I realized. Every time she got too close to me or looked directly into my eyes, I noticed the way her heart would just stop as if she forgot how to breathe.
I realized mine did the opposite. Every time I was close to her, my heartbeat sped up to what felt like the speed of my wolf running. I didn't know if she could hear it the way I could hear hers. I was hoping she wouldn't ask about why I held her the way I did. I hoped she wouldn't ask about why I let her so close to me.
"How - how are you feeling?" Elysia asked instead.
I felt so secure I almost forgot what happened last night. Though Elysia managed to cure the scars I received from fighting Avalon and his group of rogues, Elysia also tried to cure Heera's torture spells.
At first, I was so furious. She must have done it on purpose but at her each action, I realized it was impossible for her to know. How could a rogue witch possibly know one of the most painful torture spells to exist? I forgot how painful Heera's torture spells on my back were; They were incurable and if anyone tried to cure them, they would burn up.
Suddenly I realized the state Elysia saw me in. She saw how weak I truly was. My back was covered in torture spells. If anyone attacked me there, I would lose everything bit of control I had. The torture spells didn't just physically boil my blood and melt my bones, but they also bought me to my most horrific nightmares.
All I could hear was Heera's wicked laughter. Elysia saw me in such a state. I pulled my arm from underneath her aggressively this time. I didn't want her to know how truly weak I was.
"I'm fine," I muttered.
I pulled away but her hand caught my arm. She rose from the bed until her back was against the headboard.
"Please," she whispered. "I didn't do it on purpose. I would never hurt you on purpose. I cannot hurt you; I'm also bound by a Blood Oath."
I realized she thought I was angrily pushing way because she was the reason it happened. But I didn't blame her. How could she know? Besides, whatever spell Elysia used at the end made my whole body feel at peace. If anything, the pain I always carried around in my back eased.
"What did you do at the end to heal me?" I asked instead.
"It was a pain-easing spell. I didn't know if it would work -"
"It shouldn't have worked." Any spell or paste placed on the engraved circles would lead my blood to boil and my bones to melt.
"It wasn't a healing spell," she says. "It's used to ease the pain. I didn't know if it would but I think it worked better than I anticipated. I can use it again if you're still hurt."
"I don't need your help."
Elysia pulled at my arm again.
"I - Aldric. I'm truly sorry." Elysia shut her eyes. She blamed herself. Moon Goddess. Whoever made Elysia's soul made it out of pure gold. She was almost too good for this world. I pressed closer to her.
"I don't blame you. At first, maybe but that was mostly because I was angry. But I understand how it must have been impossible for you to know." I finally answered.
When she opened her eyes again, I saw a hint of a smile.
"Whoever did that, I'm sorry you -" Elysia started.
Then I became angry. She felt sorry for me. She felt pity. I snatched my arm from her body. I was here thinking she had a pure soul, but she was only being this nice because she felt bad for me, I realized. She was here pitying me; that emotion pissed me off. I didn't want anyone's pity.
"Do not ever feel sorry for me," I hissed. "I don't want your pity!"
"I'm not -"
"These are my battle scars and I am proud of them because I got through them. I don't need you to tell me you feel sorry -"
"Aldric -"
"I do not want your kindness if it is out of pity. I do not want your healing magic if it is out of pity -"
"I didn't mean it like that!" Elysia snapped.
"That's exactly how you meant it." I hissed and pulled myself out of bed.
"I think you're forgetting I know exactly how you feel. I have a claw mark running down my back from an Alpha. I don't want anyone's pity either. I didn't mean I was sorry for you; it came out wrong. I remember when the first man I was with saw my scar -"
"What did you say?" Just as she was melting my heart, she somehow managed to set it on fire.
The first man I was with - She was with another man? The possessive nature of my wolf nearly took control over me. I could barely control myself. In the back of my mind, my wolf was growling. He was furious. He was territorial and possessive. I pushed him back.
"The first man I was with -"
"What do you mean by that?" I demanded. "Did you love him?"
I watched Elysia's eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. "Why does that matter? I don't understand why you want to know this. If you want me to tell you about the first person I was with, you have to tell me about the first person you were with."
Then, she crossed her arms.
The thought of another man touching Elysia made me so angry I didn't realize how difficult it was to control myself. I wanted to know about him. I wanted to know if she loved him. And then I realized she said first? Was there a second? A third? But she wanted the same truth from me and I couldn't tell her that.
"I don't care."
"Well. Why did you ask then?" she snapped. Once again, she crossed her arms.
"Was there more than one?" I demanded next.
"Yes. There was a line of twenty-five eligible bachelor princes who couldn't wait to fall in love with me." The sarcasm was laced with every word she said. I was even more infuriated with her.
"Just answer the question, Elysia."
"If you want to know about that part of my life, I want to know about yours. Don't expect me to open up when talking to you feels like talking to a brick."
My head was hurting just talking to her sometimes. She was so difficult. Just as I was about to respond, I looked at the time.
It was nine thirty. Nine-thirty in the morning. My eyes widened. I was up every single morning at five thirty. I have never been late for anything in my life. I had been late to the early pack meeting this morning.
Realizing I had no more time to argue with Elysia, I rushed to change my clothes and run out. I still had a lot of duties to attend. I had to watch the wolves in the infirmary, train a legion of wolves, and find a way to get new supplies. I also had to study battle plans with the Alpha. We needed a new strategy on the battlefield if we wanted to win.
"I'm fucking late," I muttered. Elysia looked at the time; even she seemed shocked. I am never sleeping in her arms again.
I changed my clothes as fast as I could and rushed out of the chambers. Once I was out, I headed towards the battleground. The legion of wolves I was meant to train but must be really glad I didn't show up. I really made them suffer when they practiced.
I expected them all to leave but instead, I find Freya leading the pack. Because Freya was a Moon Priestess and not a warrior, she was explaining wolves the different types of spells witches would use against them and how to divert them.
For a few minutes, I just watched her. It would be so much easier if she was my mate. But then I realized there was no one in the witch world or wolf world that was like Elysia. Despite being my enemy, despite all the logical commands my brain told me, I knew, Elysia was mine. But I couldn't be with her.
The first man... I was out here believing Elysia wanted to be mine, I realized. It was clear she had other lovers. What if she didn't want me either? Regardless, no matter how much my wolf wanted, no matter how much my soul wanted to be hers, it wouldn't happen. Witches had done too much harm to my world for me to go against and accept one.
When Freya was done talking, she turned to me.
"Thank you," I told her. "I lost track of time when I fell asleep."
"I'm glad you got some rest after yesterday. I can't believe the audacity of Avalon and his wolves. Wolves need to be together in this war and they are fighting against us." Freya hissed. "How's your chest?"
"I fixed myself up, I swear."
"Why is Avalon after your blood, Aldric?" Freya asked. "He came in our pack. I thought he was mad at the Alpha, but he seems to hate you more. You were right to put Seraphina up in the front to check for intruders."
"I always suspect they will attack -" I started.
"But why? They are thirsty for your blood. Each time, they get closer."
She was right. The last time I met with Avalon and his wolves, he shot Elysia. At that time, my wolf had become so heightened, so angry, taking them down was easy. Yesterday, I was slightly distracted. Not to mention Avalon was slowly gaining new followers. He was slowly getting all the rogues together and making his own pack. He thought I didn't know.
"He's thirsty for my blood because I always win. But this fight has started since my father killed his mate."
"I'm just glad you're okay, Aldric." Freya sighed. "I was so worried all night. You wouldn't accept anyone's help, Aldric. I know you think you're all strong or whatever it is you think you are, but learn to take help."
"I didn't want to waste infirmary resources Freya," I finally told her.
"You're our strongest wolf. You getting hurt is far worse than anyone -"
"That's not true. Everyone matters. Everyone's effort matters."
"You know what I mean."
I sighed and nodded. "I don't want you to worry so much about me."
"That's all I do. Don't tell me what to do." Freya snapped.
Elysia came to my mind instead. I hated her. If it wasn't for Elysia, I wouldn't have to be here worrying about Freya. I knew Freya cared far too much for me to go ahead and break her heart for a witch. I looked away, unable to say anything.
Instead, I followed my daily routine. I trained wolves. They performed their daily runs. They practiced attacking one another. They practiced battle moves and then I had them practice in their mortal form. In their mortal form, the wolves were trained to fight with swords, knives, spears, arrows, whatever they preferred.
Then I went to the infirmary. I knew Seline and Kevan wanted me to get an extra batch of the Moon Blossom herbs and Starfire flowers; those plants were good for healing wolves against witch magic. I had a special group of wolves on missions to retrieve those plants.
"How is everyone doing?" I asked Kevan.
"We are trying our best to cure everyone. The supplies are in good condition. I'm glad we had so much."
I nodded. "Any special supplies I need to check for?"
Kevan shook his head. "Just those I instructed yesterday."
I nodded. I had sent out wolves to retrieve them but I knew it would take at least three days for the wolves to arrive back with the set of herbs and plants we needed. This was mostly because certain herbs only grew in certain places - some only preferred the mountainside while others only grew beside the ocean. The herbs' growth rate was also dependent on the seasons. It was difficult having enough batches for those plants but I tried my best.
Once I checked everything with the infirmary, I went to speak with my father. I had designed a new set of plans for the next battle. Each was dependent on the type of situation we were in. I needed to show him all the set of plans.
"Aldric, my boy!" he started when I came in. He sat beside Ella who had been laughing alongside our father in the Central Room of the castle. Here sofas were lined up alongside a table at the back where wolves discussed battle plans.
"I wanted to show you the strategies I have designed. Each requires a different set of supplies and formation of wolves. They are designed for different situations - things are always changing on the battlefield so I designed multiple. There's one particular one I know you'll really like -"
"Aldric. Stop. No one is even listening to you. Dad just came from the battle. Let him rest." Ella snapped at me.
I stopped. "There's still lives dying on the battle. Just because we're not there does not mean there are no other packs taking our place and fighting. What if one of those packs cannot win - what if -"
"Aldric. If I don't take a break from all of this, I will lose my mind. I send you back to take a break from the bloodshed, not plan everything out for the next bloodshed."
"I am trying to save our lives!" I hissed back, but no one was listening.
"Right now, I just want to spend time with Ella," my father said. "I need to be with my daughter right now. I would like my son here too but I think I lost him years ago."
"You did," I muttered angrily and walked out. He didn't even want to listen to me! I was trying to ensure we win. If they weren't going to take witches seriously, I knew I would. Just as I was leaving the Central Room, I met with Freya.
"Did he say no to listening to your battle plans?" She asked.
I nodded.
"The Alpha is a fighter, not a planner," Freya said.
"I know but you can't just fight and kill every witch on the battlefield. There's too many and they are strong."
Freya just stared at me and shook her head. Her bright blue eyes are alluring as she looks at me. Then, she laced her fingers with my hands.
"You are taking a break," She tells me.
"I don't -"
"Aldric."
"I want to show you something," Freya simply states and leads me past the ballroom. Behind the Ballroom, there was a piano set along with other musical instruments. The room was dusty; no one had been here for years.
I always knew the piano was there, but no one cared enough to learn it. Before the war started, the Ballroom was a special place where wolves would meet their mates during a dancing ceremony. It was one of the ancient traditions. Now, there was no such thing. The music room in the back was hidden but the music made from the music room traveled to all four corners of the Ballroom. The music from here led the dances in the Ballroom.
"I learned how to play a little from one of the Moon Priestesses at the battlefield. Her name was Neela and she was of the Darkfire pack. She taught me Moon magic comes most easily to her when she plays the piano. The magic of the Moon is hard to harness, even for a Moon Priestess but our Goddess loves music. When we play magic to the Moon, you earn her favor and Moon magic comes more easily."
I nodded. I didn't understand a lot about what it meant to be a Moon Priestess. Despite knowing every pack having a Moon Priestess, I don't think I truly understood what it meant to harness Moon magic or connect with the Moon Goddess. I just knew Moon magic was different than witch magic; the Goddess of the Moon blessed certain wolves with abilities to harness such magic.
At the end of the day, Freya was still a wolf despite being able to harness some magic. When she transformed, she wasn't a black, brown or a gray wolf. Rather, she had a pure white coat; she was a white wolf, the rarest kind.
"Can I play you something?" She asked.
"Of course," I answered.
She smiled immediately. I sat beside Freya on the piano chair. She turned over the dusty cover for the keys and started in the middle. One by one, I watched her fingers laced together to create a beautiful melody. I don't know how she learned so quickly but I was entranced by the music. I hadn't realized I had shut my eyes.
I didn't remember the last time I listened to music. My heart seemed to settle down in my body. My soul was fluttering.
Freya's melody was so soft, pure and gentle.
It reminded me of Elysia.
I froze.
Moon Goddess.
I couldn't get rid of her. Everything reminded me of her.
"Stop," I told Freya.
"You didn't like it?" She whispered. I realized I had nearly broken her heart by saying that.
"It was beautiful Freya. It was absolutely beautiful. I just -I don't think I can listen to it. I - I don't think I can listen to such beautiful music."
"And why is that?"
I didn't have an answer. Because it reminds me of a witch. Because she clouds my mind every time you play a simple song on a piano. Because you - Freya - deserve to be the melody in my head but instead, I see Elysia. My wolf, however, was disgusted with that statement. Elysia deserves to be that melody. He snapped back.
"I just - can't," I finally answered.
"Okay. I won't force you to tell me you don't want to answer. If I have to wait a lifetime for you break your walls for me, Aldric, I will."
My heart crushed my chest. I knew Freya had a mate but he had died when she was barely six. A surprise attack by rogue wolves killed a nine-year-old boy, Rankin. Wolves used to comment on how lucky Freya and Rankin were for meeting each other so young. But he had died and Freya had been left heartbroken. In a way, we were both destined to be mateless. Except I ended up having a mate.
A mate you cannot be with.
"There are countless other wolves that could give you the love you deserve. There are hundreds who are willing to wait a lifetime for you. There are those who aren't so cold and distant. Ones that will open up to you in seconds. Ones whose life purpose isn't to destroy half the realm."
"Yet, I want you, Aldric." She looked down as she said it. "Even when you were taking new wolves to your bed every day when you were seventeen. Even when you came back from Heera's captivity, completely changed and broken. I want you. I love you."
For the first time in my life, I completely disregarded my wolf. I ignored the images of Elysia in my head. I ignored everything. Moon Goddess. I grabbed Freya gently. I didn't think Elysia could care for me the way Freya did.
"Before I left, we spend the night together. I thought we finally had a chance. I thought you would finally let me in." Freya whispered. She was right. At that time, I did let her in. I thought when Freya would be back, I could love her the way she deserved. But then Elysia came into my life.
This time, Freya leaned in. Just as I was about to close my eyes, to ignore everything - the door opened and Hunter came in.
"Shit. Did I interrupt something important?"
"No. We're fine," Freya said but her voice was laced with anger.
"Aldric! My best friend, my buddy, my king." He started dramatically as he always did. "I really missed you." Hunter came in for a hug instead. He ignored Freya's comment.
"Took you long enough to come to find me," I muttered.
"I was spending some magnificent hours with Aura. I was gone for nearly two months. I needed to make up for every single second. I am exhausted but Aura and I just had some amazing, breathless hours of nonstop-"
"Moon Goddess Hunter! We don't need details!" Freya hissed.
"How are you doing though Aldric?" Hunter asked. "Better? Worse?"
At that moment, I wanted to tell Hunter everything about Elysia but Freya was here. Maybe I should tell Freya the truth too but I didn't even know how any of it will start or end. My mate is a witch. It will never end well.
"I'm fine but I think I will have to talk to you tonight. Right now, I have to design the housing situation with all the wolves who lost their homes in the Western lands."
Hunter rolled his eyes. "Of course. Of course. Go to your meeting."
I quickly left the music room. I knew I would get to see Hunter later tonight. We had a lot to catch up. I needed to know the real situation of the battle. I wouldn't get a proper answer from my father but I knew Hunter would tell me the truth to the core. There was always so much to do.
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