P L A Y L I S T
Give Your Heart a Break - Demi Lovato
Zari sat on the edge of the spare rooms bed and spread the money out before her. She couldn't believe her good fortune. Four hundred and sixteen bucks for doing something she loved! If this kept up, she would never have to go back to Dallas, whether she got her memory back or not. The thought of her secretarial job made her stomach hurt. Even if she didn't remember her past, sitting behind a desk all day sounded like torture. Which made her wonder again why she'd taken the job? Maybe to be close to her family? Or, perhaps she'd been right all along, she wasn't good at anything and he'd hired her out of pity.
This amnesia crap had gone on long enough. She'd been patient and not asked questions as the doctors had ordered, and a few memories had come back. But it wasn't working as quickly as she'd like. She needed to know who she was. Really was.
And what Gabriel felt. Not once since she regained consciousness had he told her how he felt about her.
Until tonight, she'd not given that much thought. But seeing so many couples together, and singing songs about how she'd been cheated on, caused her to consider things she'd taken for granted. There couldn't be a man more kind or thoughtful—or patient. And there had been moments of intimacy. Hand holding. Sweet kisses. Gentle caresses. But thinking back, he'd never really expressed his feelings.
Sure, the no sex rule had kept him from starting anything physical, but that shouldn't have prevented him saying he loved her—if he did.
Oh, God. Maybe everything he'd done had been out of pity, too. No. She was overthinking the situation. Why plan to propose if he didn't love her? But to be sure, when he came home, she'd ask. She might not remember their life together, but she knew him well enough to know he wouldn't lie.
She put the cash away and traipsed into the bathroom, filled the tub, then settled into the hot water. Her bones warmed, and her muscles eased. All the useless speculation had her tense with worry. Why borrow trouble? Her life was perfect, and she kept trying to find something wrong.
The songs. It was the stupid songs. They were a clear reflection of her past, and it had not been good. Especially in the relationship department. That was the problem. She'd finally found a good one, and yet doubt kept trying to screw up things.
She stood and wrapped a towel around her body and tucked the corner in between her breasts. What she needed to do was write some positive love songs. There were still plenty of notebooks she'd not gone through, she was bound to already have some. Even if previous lovers had turned out to be jerks, in the beginning, she must have been smitten enough to pen a mushy song.
She dried off, then hung the damp towel over the shower rod. Along with the sheets Jerry had brought, he'd included a pair of pajamas. Zari slipped into them. Crawling into bed, she checked her phone. Two texts. Both from Gabriel.
Hear I'm an uncle again.
Miss you.
She blinked back tears. What a stupid, silly girl she was. He missed her. He loved her, and if he wasn't ready to say it yet, then she needed to wait until he was. God, she wanted to call him. Hear him breathe. Gasp. Moan. The phone sex had that effect and knowing it did, caused heat to spread from her head to her toes, which curled at the thought of his naked body.
She understood sex didn't mean commitment, but she also knew commitment couldn't survive without it. Besides, they'd not had sex—yet. Unless she counted hand jobs and phone sex. She giggled. That sounded like a song title for sure. She needed to get her mind out of the gutter. If not, she'd have to get herself off, and somehow it wasn't as much fun without Gabriel watching.
Switching off the bedside lamp, she snuggled deep into the comforter. One more day and he'd be home. She couldn't wait.
*
The next morning when Zari woke and squinted at her phone screen, she bolted upright. Eleven o'clock! She never slept that late. But then again, she rarely stayed up past midnight. If she kept this up, she really would be living like a musician. Well, tonight, she'd do it all over again. But first, she wanted to go to the hospital and play for the young patients if the weather permitted.
There were no windows in the room so she'd have to rely on her radar phone app or go to the bar. After washing her face, she pulled on her pants, threaded her arms through her sweater, and stuck her feet into her boots.
Since Grillenium Falcon served lunch, they would already be open, but probably not busy. And that was a good thing because she didn't have any makeup. She finger combed her hair, threw her purse and jacket over her arm, and opened the bedroom door. The aroma of grilled onions and peppers assaulted her senses. Ah, chicken fajitas. Grillenium Falcon's top menu item. Taking a few steps, she paused and scanned the place. No more than a dozen customers sprinkled throughout the dining area.
Dale glanced up. "Hey, rock star."
That made her laugh. If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that she'd never been considered a star of any kind. Not now or in her past life. "That's funny."
"No, it isn't. Jerry put a video of last night's performance online, and the damn thing has gone viral."
"What do you mean, viral?"
"Like someone shared it on YouTube and as of an hour ago, it already had thirty thousand views. It's all over Facebook and Twitter now, too."
"Are you kidding?"
"Nope. I have a feeling tonight we'll have standing room only. Hell, you may have to do three sets because I don't plan to turn anyone away. I've already ordered extra beer. The truck should be here this afternoon."
Zari staggered to a stool and slid onto it, staring incredulously. Her heart pattered - excitedly or anxiously, she didn't know. "I can't believe it. I never dreamed that many people would like silly songs."
"Well, they do, and I think we need to negotiate a contract because I don't want you going anywhere else. Hell, if this keeps up, you'll draw crowds as big as the Festival and it's been going on for over fifty years."
"Could be just my fifteen minutes of fame and in a few days, it'll be over."
"Maybe. But in case I'm right, I've already got my lawyer drawing up the agreement. I'm thinking you'll be exclusive to Grillenium Falcon for say—six months. Does that sound okay?"
Zari massaged her temples to stop the pounding in her head. Surely she was dreaming, and any minute she'd wake and find herself standing in the middle of her backyard staring at the clouds making them into animals, objects or faces. As a child, that had been her escape from reality.
There was a word for it. What had her dad called it? Para something. No. Pareidolia. When the mind plays tricks, and you see things that aren't there. Well, her mind was in trick overdrive. Thirty thousand people? Unbelievable.
She shook her head. Wait. She remembered her backyard! The house where she grew up! The conversation with Dad! Her brain flooded with memories. Birthdays. Holidays. School events.
"Are you okay?"
Dale' voice brought her back to the moment. "Oh. I'm sorry. I just remembered some things from my past. Yeah. Of course. Six months will be fine. My godfather is a lawyer, so I'll have him look over the contract. Will that be all right?"
"Absolutely. I wouldn't want it any other way."
She took a deep breath. "Okay. Now that's settled, how's the weather?"
By the time Zari finished visiting the children's ward, stopped by Elena's room, and picked up Rebel, it was five o'clock. She took him for a walk, fed new Alpheus, then headed back to Grillenium Falcon. In case she wanted to change clothes for each performance, and on the off chance the weather took another unexpected turn, she'd packed an overnight bag.
Standing before the bathroom mirror, Dale's warning of thin walls proved right. Zari could hear everything being said on the other side. Two women talking. One with a tinny voice, the other more mellow.
"Girl, you have to lay off the shots. That guy is ugly," Tinny voice said.
"I know. But in my defense, the lights are so low in there, I didn't get a good look at him."
"Well, maybe so, but you're stuck with him now."
"Ugh. All the more reason to keep doing shots. Maybe he'll get better looking as the night goes on."
Zari walked to the corner chair, picked up her pad and pencil and wrote.
When he came in the lights were dim
I didn't get a good look at him.
Broad shoulders backlit with neon
Got my interest and gave me good reason
To accept the drink he sent over
I realized my mistake as he got closer
Holy crap, he was U-G-L-Y
I searched my brain for an alibi
But then I downed another shot
And he didn't look as bad as I first thought
That got me to thinking
All the more reason to keep drinking
Looks aren't everything we can all agree
There may be hidden talent beneath those jeans
Ladies raise your glasses to men everywhere
Short, fat, ugly, who gives a care
It isn't the packaging that should make us quiver
It's more about him being able to deliver
Man, Dale was right. The bathroom conversations would be great for inspiration.
*
Eager to get home, Gabriel woke Cole before dawn. Leaving New Jersey at noon the day before had cut Saturday's drive time in half. With few stops, estimated arrival in Parkers Prairie was eight o'clock. Gabriel couldn't wait to sleep in his own bed—and have Zari curled next to him.
Since the sexy phone calls, he'd thought about her more and more. Lewis was right. It wasn't just about wanting to have sex, but more about how Gabriel felt. Hell, he'd fallen for her. Big time. The feelings had been there from the beginning but sorting them out took a while. The lie still bothered him. If Lewis was right -and Gabriel wanted to trust he was, then Zari wanted him, not the boyfriend she'd confused him with. Just saying it didn't even make sense, but he had to believe the theory. Especially if they were to have a future together. And he wanted that more than he'd wanted anything in a long time.
The dilemma still nagged at him. Tell her the truth and hope for the best—or let things play out—and hope for the best. Either way—a risk. If he told her, she might leave. Who was he kidding? She'd bail for sure, but then again, if he waited for her memory to return...
He raked his hand over his face. The thought of losing her made his lungs burn.
"You want me to drive?"
Cole's question brought Gabriel back to the present. "No, I'm good for a while."
"Okay, but I'll take over anytime. You look—tired or maybe worried. Which is it?"
He glanced in his rearview and changed lanes before answering. "Little of both."
"About Zari?"
Because of Gabriel's lifelong friendship with Cole, there wasn't much they didn't discuss, but Gabriel's love life had not been a topic of conversation in a while. Well, the lack of one had been, but now that he had an interest, he wasn't sure how much he wanted to reveal.
"Yeah."
"Just do it, man. You make everything way more complicated than it needs to be."
Gabriel shook his head. God, if it was only that easy. "Not that simple."
"Yeah. Kinda is. She wants it. You want it. Can't get more uncomplicated than that."
"Under normal circumstances, you'd be right, but you know there's nothing ordinary about our situation."
"Look, bro. I know you've got this hang up about the whole boyfriend mix up, but I've been giving this some thought. She doesn't think you're the boyfriend. I believe she thinks you are the boyfriend."
Gabriel cocked his head and drew his brows together. "Same thing."
"No, it's not. She doesn't think you're this Perry guy. She doesn't even remember him so how could she assign your identity to that dude? Because she saw you the night of the wreck, I think she turned you into an original boyfriend. Not one from her past. You said you don't look anything like him, so that's the only thing that makes sense." Cole paused to look at his phone. "If you did, then I could understand the mistake, but since you have nothing in common with the guy, I don't think that's what happened."
Gabriel hated to admit it, but Cole had a point. According to Zari's family, Perry was white collar. Long hair. White. Slight build. About as opposite from Gabriel as a guy could get. "Since when did you become Dr. Phil?"
"Hey, doesn't take a genius to figure that out. But you may have more of a problem than you think and it has nothing to do with her old love interest."
"What do you mean?"
Cole wiggled his phone in the air. "Dude. She's been performing at Grillenium Falcon for the past two nights, and there's video. She's a big hit. There's even one of her singing with the kids at the hospital. Both have thousands of views."
Gabriel whipped the truck over to the shoulder of the road. "Let me see that."
Cole unplugged the earbuds and passed the phone.
Turning up the volume, Gabriel listened and watched. Zari's joyful expression and the animation as she sang, brought a smile. Then seeing the little patients look at her with such adoration made his heart squeeze.
Cole groaned. "Oh hell, you're not going to cry, are you?"
Gabriel cut his eyes to Cole and glared. Cole looked ready to hightail it out of the truck and hitch a ride home. "No."
"Good. Cause I don't have a clue how to comfort you. Go to the next one."
By the time Gabriel finished hearing her sing "You Give Me Asthma," he laughed. Damn. She was different from any woman he'd ever known. And apparently, plenty of people thought the same. The silly song had over two hundred thousand views. The hospital visits just over half that amount.
He was done playing pretend boyfriend. Tonight, he'd become the real deal.
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