Stella watched Kelly leave but didn't say a thing. If he needed that walk then she wasn't going to hold him back.
She then fell asleep.
______________________
The next morning, even if Stella wanted to sleep in it was impossible for her too. All Herrmann's kids were a handful and just to get ready for school it was total chaos.
She took Olivia who was already up and went to the kitchen. Shocked to see what a mess they had made, they were running around and screaming.
"Wow" she said but was barely even heard.
She moved next to Cindy who was putting lunch in everybody's bag, and so she asked.
"Have you seen Kelly?" She was a little worried since she woke up and didn't see him.
"No we haven't Kelly since we woke up!" She affirmed.
So it got Stella thinking, she had to find him. But first she had to take care of Olivia, she made some breakfast for her and none of them liked all the noise. But in no time, Cindy and Herrmann took everyone to school.
They were now alone in their home, Stella organized a little bit and then took her phone and tried to call Kelly. But it went straight to voicemail.
After their breakfast and a good shower, she and Olivia were ready. She didn't know where to look for him but she was about to anyways. Then she thought about calling Casey.
"Hey Matt! Do you know where Kelly is or have you seen him? Did he call you?" But then the beach came to her mind and she knew that's where he was "never mind, i think i know where he is. Thanks!" And she hung up.
She took her keys and headed out with her daughter, the beach was not that far away from their house. After a good 15 minutes on walking, and letting Olivia play with the sand they found Severide.
Clearly he had been there since he left last night.
"Kelly!" She screamed because she was mad he left that long.
But he looked at her without even saying a thing. Which would make her even more mad.
"You hear me, why didn't you call? I know you needed some time but still you could have let me know" she made sure to tell him.
"I needed time" he said still looking at the sea.
So she sat next to him and sat Olivia down in the sand, since she loved to play with it so much.
"Why didn't you come back to sleep?" She asked in a worried way.
"I don't know Stella, I was mad! And i still am"
"Still we are married, you are not going to go back to this you that can't say a thing about how he feels" whenever he was acting like this, she couldn't stand it.
"And what was I about to say supposedly last night" he said, his voice firm with one eyebrow raised.
That was his face when he was mad yet didn't find a need to scream.
"How you felt maybe! That could be a start, we came too far for you to act like a child" she said a little angry "you are not Olivia"
"Oh come on Stella! Can i just be mad, not wanting to cause a scene! I felt a different way and didn't want to say things I would maybe regret" he explained.
She calmed down a little and then said "but why would you be mad, I just told you I didn't want another kid" she then added.
"And thats the thing we have two complete different views of what we want, and I don't know..." he said but didn't add more to it.
"You don't know what?" She felt weird about this.
"You don't want another kid, I do! Maybe..." and he again stopped, he was talking but yet still without making eye contact with her.
"Can you finish a sentence for God's sake" she demanded from him.
"Maybe...well maybe it was a mistake! Maybe having a kid with you was a mistake, i love Olivia with all my heart don't get me wrong but i truly want her to grow up with siblings and maybe.."
But she didn't let him finish "do you hear yourself Severide? This is complete nonsense"
"No it's not, are you planning on changing your mind?" He asked.
"Probably not, but what does that have to do with anything?"
"Then I can't stay with you, I want Olivia to have siblings and be happy"
"She will be as happy as a only child!" She said shocked, he wasn't making any sense.
"I don't know Stella!"
Stella was fed up, he didn't dare to turn not once to face her. So she grabbed his face and forced him to look at her.
"Me not wanting another child make you come to this solution?" She asked but then added "are you stupid or something, what's wrong with you?"
She didn't know what was going on in his head but all she knew was that she was getting fed up with whatever that was.
"I don't know maybe now I'm realizing, it was maybe not meant to be. I mean us, having a child with you was risky after all" he turned his head back and was again facing the sea.
"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked confused.
"You were a drug addict Stella, you could have went back to your old habits at any moment"
She looked at him in disbelief "I know you are just trying to hurt me right now, so i'm just going to leave you" she was hurt, and didn't want to cry. What for, in her teens she was used to this. Lots of people had already hurt her feelings but yet she never broke down.
"Here let's go Olivia!" She grabbed her daughter and then left.
Once home, Stella's head wasn't in the right place and so she decided to pack a bag for her and Olivia. She wanted to go far as far as she could, she left a note to Herrmann and Cindy.
"I left with Olivia and probably won't be back for quite some time! But me not being here don't mean you have to go, my house is yours so stay as long as you wish.
Love,
Stella"
She made sure she had everything she and her daughter needed, she got in her car and started driving.
She was alone, no family so where would she go.
She didn't know but yet she kept driving.
And in no time without realizing it she found herself in front of a house.
This particular house.
The house where this woman was really nice to her, the only one through all this years of foster care. The one who made the difference but unfortunately she wasn't there anymore.
She sat down with Olivia and started talking to her.
"See the woman who lived there was a wonderful human being, really sweet and caring. You know baby girl for a moment when i was looking at her, she made me think that maybe my mom was like this. But you know what, no matter who raised me or how I was treated in life i'll make sure you'll get all the love possible" she started crying, just seeing her daughter and being in front of the house had her feeling emotional "i love you more anything, you are my biggest blessing"
Olivia looked at her straight in the eyes, smiled and gave her mom a kiss.
And she felt full and knew she needed nothing more than that.
________________________
At night she found an hotel, it was a great one so she decided they would stay until she would decide what she wanted to do.
After spending almost the whole day at the beach, Kelly went back home. Cindy and Herrmann were waiting for him.
"Hey!" He said in a tired voice.
"Where were you?" Cindy asked worried.
"At the beach i needed to think" he said, took off his shoes and then left to go to his room.
After finding the closets half empty, he screamed "where in the hell is Stella?"
"That's what we were trying to tell you"
"She left Kelly, now what did you do?" Asked Herrmann.
"We had a discussion, a disagreement or however you want to put it!" He explained.
"You better find her, you can't mess something good that you have. If she left with the baby it's because it got serious" Herrmann talked to him like he would talk to his son.
"Thats none of your business Herrmann! Let me handle it" Severide said pissed off.
"I hope it was worth it" Cindy said to him and then left.
That had Kelly thinking, he didn't know what to do. He was mad at Stella, was the reason he was mad worth it? He didn't know but all he wanted was his daughter, and in his mind Stella had no right of leaving with her.
So he called her.
But no answer.
Stella on the other had seen his call but decided she wasn't ready to talk to him yet.
_______________________
The next morning it was shift for everyone but Stella of course called in sick. Until she could figure out what to do. Kelly also didn't go to work, he needed to find Stella and Olivia.
So he called again.
This time Stella picked up.
"Yes!" She said with a low toned voice.
"Where the hell are you?" He asked mad.
"Somewhere! Listen i'm not coming back, so don't bother calling again" she said then hung up.
Which got Kelly even more fed up, he punched the wall and left the house.
Stella only had Olivia, and she was feeling really sad. How could Kelly say such things? And for what, just him wanting a bigger family.
She couldn't understand his way of thinking, seemed childish to her.
She for sure needed time and so did he.
________________________
Two weeks went by, each day was a torture forKelly he hated not having his family and he was starting to think maybe he exaggerated.
Stella had multiple breakdowns, Olivia was making her live a nightmare just with the simple fact that her dad wasn't there. And it was breaking Stella's heart, she loved Severide but would she be able to forgive his hurtful words.
Stella decided to come back but just for Olivia.
_______________________
It was a Sunday and she was in front of the house, she took Olivia out of her car seat she was sleeping.
"Hey!" She heard coming near her. It was Kelly, she ignored him and took Olivia to sleep.
So he followed.
Once Olivia was down, he grabbed Stella by her arm and they went outside trying to avoid Cindy and Herrmann.
She strongly got her arm out of his grip and said "whatever you needed to tell me didn't need you grabbing my arm this hard"
"Listen it's been two weeks, what the fuck were you thinking. And plus you took Olivia with you, you had no rights" he claim to her.
"I had every rights, she came out of me! Me!" She touched her chest while emphasizing on the me "i carried her for nine months, with that worry you had no same of throwing me in the face! I told you repeatedly I was scared for her because of my drug use and what you do the minute I decide not to agree with you. Throw it in my face, with no remorse at all" tears were almost running down her cheeks and she was shaking.
Kelly could only scratch his head.
Until he realized and try to give what felt to him like an apology.
"I admit that I said that to hurt your feelings" he didn't dare to look her in the eyes.
So she lifted ip his chin, this time tears were running down uncontrollably.
"Why? Uh? Why did you feel the need to make me feel small and worthless?" She asked while holding his face.
"I don't know, can you see from my point of view though. You didn't consider my idea, it was a hard no"
"Yet that doesn't give you the right to act like this, ir say such things. After all we've been through" she said and the hurt in her voice touched him right in his heart.
He knew he fucked up.
But how would he be able to repair this.
"I...i...i" he couldn't find his words "I'm sorry"
She looked at him, and when it seemed like he wanted to add something. Open his heart Cindy came to get Stella, Olivia was crying.
She got in and took her in arms, rocking her so she could fall asleep and maybe stop crying.
Severide of course followed.
"Let me calm her down" he extended his arms.
"Don't even think about touching her" she was serious and so he didn't dare.
Both of them were hurt. But Stella even more, and so for what he said she felt like she wanted to selfishly keep the daughter they shared for herself. And not allow him to get close to her.