After the celebrations had begun, Rowan made her way to an outpost, to where the Fae warriors were standing watch. She had thought of this as an opportunity to seek information, to suss out potential numbers. It was so hard to tell how many Fae there were at Tara, how many fighters, how many this clan could summon from other Fae communities. Rowan needed more information.
One particular warrior Fae had caught her eye upon arrival. The one who appeared to be a captain. They were muscled and tough, wearing hide armour laced with silver braids of metal, a thick silver short sword hanging from their hip. Nythander was the name the leader had used for them. They had silver eyes, sharp feline features. Scars, claw gouges they'd never bothered to heal, ripped across their visage like a badge of past violence endured and dolled out. A scar they'd chosen to wear, so unlike Rowan's own scars that she would have wished away. Nythander had an air of gravitas unique to them, a seriousness uncharacteristic for the playful Fae. Rowan sought them out not simply due to rank, but also due to a feeling of comradery.
"Princess," they had said, when she'd sought an audience alone.
"Is it Nythander?"
They nodded. "Nyth is fine. How may I assist you?" They spoke formally, watching the dark around them for threats.
Rowan wondered how to approach this -- what to give away and what to keep close to her chest.
"I was hoping you could tell me more of Fae politics."
Nyth's head cocked to the side, assessing. Cunning behind the quicksilver in the warm torchlight.
"Strange party conversation, Princess. I would have thought you'd want to be part of the festivities."
"I'm not a party girl," Rowan admitted, chagrined. "I just wanted to know more about the Fae. Your leader, Finvarra, is leader of the Tara elves, but also the head of all the twelve tribes of the Tuath De Danaan, is that correct?"
Nyth nodded. "Which is why, Princess, it may be wise to indulge Finvarra. Attending the party will go a long way to garnering you favour for the request you intend to make."
Rowan gawked at the Elven warrior. "What request?"
"The one where you ask us to join your war against the Empire." Nyth was sitting on a stump beside the flickering torch, sharpening a knife on a handheld whetstone as they talked and kept guard.
"And what are the chances you'll join us?" Rowan had not expected to get this far, this quickly. She had not expected the Fae to see each play before they made it. She certainly hadn't predicted Nyth would be so blunt.
"A scrawny beech tree," answered Nyth.
Rowan looked blank. She hunkered down on the stump next to Nyth.
"Slim chance," they explained. "The Fae are a long-lived folk. We do not procreate easily. Life is precious and long. We have not involved ourselves in a human war for thousands of years." Nyth stopped sharpening the knife, leaned elbows onto splayed knees, thinking.
"But this is different. The Empire is a threat to all of us, to your way of existence as well. She could be the end of all of this." Rowan's arms spread out, gesturing at the forest around her as she tried to explain.
Nyth looked somber. "I know. I've argued as much. If it were up to me, we would fight with you. But it is not." Nyth looked sad, like there was more to say that they simply couldn't voice. "But Finvarra knows that you want something desperately. Knows what you want. You and your demi-God have put yourselves at the mercy of impulsive folk."
Rowan looked at Nyth curiously. "The same does not apply to you? Are you not Fae then?"
They smiled. "Mostly I am. And mostly it does."
More riddles, more questions.
"How can I convince Finvarra, then?" Rowan asked.
A wry smile played across Nyth's lips. "You can start by enjoying our leader's hospitality. It will please them. They have even pulled out the love-in-idleness spores to lighten the mood."
"What?" Rowan looked shocked. "That flower that makes everyone horny?"
Nyth looked bemused now. "Yes. It can cause quite a lot of mayhem and frivolity. Would you like to attend the party with me?" Nyth's eyes were alight with amusement now, sparkling with humor. "I'd be honoured if you'd like to see where that might lead." They were toying with Rowan playfully.
Rowan stood abruptly from the stump she'd chosen to sit on. "I'm so sorry Nyth, and I'm flattered but I have to go. Now. I don't mean to be rude, but I need to check on the others, make sure they're not –"
"Copulating? Good luck!" Nyth called to Rowan's retreating back as she ran. Rowan could swear she heard laughter rolling through the ground in the forest.
Rowan found Sky and Will first. Rowan expected to see a swooning Will drooling over Sky, so it was a surprise to see Will completely passed out, sleeping on a mountain of furs with lots of Fae fawning over him. They were on the outskirts of the clearing. An angry Sky stood at his feet, looking like she wanted to swat every single one of the Fae that were fanning him and mopping Will's brow.
"Did you know they were going to drug the air with love-in-idleness?" Rowan asked, miffed.
"They did what?" Sky growled. "Damn it! This couldn't be worse. Where are Laina and Joel?" She looked around hoping to see them with Rowan.
Sky didn't seem to want to leave Will's side in case he woke up, but she assured Rowan she'd watch over him, make sure Will was fine. Could Rowan find the others?
So Rowan searched the dancefloor desperately, the small gatherings of people around the venue, looking for Laina. Looking for Joel. They were nowhere to be found. And if she didn't find them, Joel might ... he was perfectly capable of doing something incredibly stupid. Something that couldn't be undone. She looked and looked, eventually making her way back to the treehouses.
She halted abruptly when she finally found them, up against the base of a tree, Laina's hands on Joel, Joel's body pressed against Laina's. Rowan watched, frozen in place. She looked on in horror as Laina lead Joel up the ladder and into the cabin to do gods-knew-what.
Rowan was too late. Too late to stop them.
Rowan had watched Joel go after a million different conquests. He pursued girl after girl, each dalliance simply an interlude on the way to something else. Rowan hated it but had never let it get to her, never let it get past her hard front. But whether it was the potent air she'd inhaled on her search for them or the fact that Joel was with her sister, could he not have picked anyone else? —HER SISTER— the girl she might have been, the daughter her mother had chosen to be with, one of the people she'd abandoned Rowan for, she wasn't sure. But it felt like a betrayal. Like a dagger in her heart. She knew there was something in the air but she was still furious with him. How could he not know this would break her?
Rowan sunk to her knees under the tree, finally confronted with her true feelings.
Joel was the only person she'd ever felt like she belonged to. She'd always thought eventually... But not now. It couldn't be now. Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she lost control of her emotions. She cradled her knees in the fetal position, silently sobbing into the night. Joel would never truly be hers. And she could never truly forgive Laina, her sister, even if she had had no idea.
Rowan had crawled on her knees through embers. Pulled herself from despair after torture and confinement. She had built a life with Joel at her heart without ever really realizing that it had been him from the first moment he'd picked her up out of the ashes.
Rowan loved Joel.
Rowan felt a light touch on her hair and looked up. She wasn't sure if she was seeing things, or if the small winged glowing fairy in front of her was real. It was strange and blue, delicate gossamer wings beating quickly at the air. The air made of thousands of dust particles that danced through the space, sparkling fireflies.
"I'm sorry," it said in a soft lilting voice like chimes. "I am Lillian. I feel she." She touched her heart and then touched Rowan's wet cheeks, cupping a handful of Rowan's tears in tiny hands. The delicate fairy drank them down, licking the salt off her blue lips. "I share in your pain." There were dew drops streaming down the other's pointed chin then, glistening on her cheeks in the moonlight.
Rowan was touched. Was this a dream? Her head felt foggy.
The fairy landed on Rowan's shoulder, pushed the white-blonde hair aside and kissed her cheek just where the angry burns ended and her unblemished skin began.
"Does HE know?" Lillian whispered in Rowan's ear. "Does HE know you love him?"
Rowan offered her hand and Lillian dismounted from her shoulder and into her palm. In front of her eyes, Rowan saw the fragile wings, thin enough that moonlight shone through the swirling pattern of magentas, pinks and blues, the intricate apparatus that could hold her slender body aloft.
"No," Rowan whispered back. "And he never will. He doesn't feel the same. He doesn't love me back. Not like that."
The little fairy looked crestfallen, her wings drooping with her shared sadness. "It hurts," she said, touching her chest. "So much pain." Rowan nodded. "Feel it. Honour it," said the voice like rain on a lake. She looked down at Rowan's palm, a pointed ballerina toe tracing the lines that lay there like they were a map to Rowan's future. "One day, you will know a love that loves back fiercely." Rowan stared at the specks of glowing embers, eyes the size of beads, chipped from the crust of the moon itself. "A true love," Lillian continued.
The small winged fairy took pity on the grieving girl, blowing a kiss of stardust at Rowan. "But tonight, you sleep," Lillian said. "And sleep, that sometime shuts up sorrow's eye, steal me awhile from mine own company." Rowan's eyes drifted closed as she descended into a realm of dreams. She held the hand of someone she could not see. This person was blurry, soft edges and a golden-red aura. Someone who bolstered her strength, who made her happy, who believed she was beautiful. Someone who saw all of her, loved all of her.
But it was only a dream.
***
So now that we are almost 30 chapters in (+ three prologues haha), which characters do you relate to most? Which character is your favourite? I'd love to know! TELL ME, TELL ME!
And if you enjoyed the chapter, please remember to vote. THANK YOU, as always. Emmy