As I looked up at his angry eyes, I could not help but smile. Even as he kicked and punched at my small body, I could not help but feel as though he was finally acknowledging me.
"Are you mocking me!?"He shouted angrily.
Father, I closed my eyes and let the pain consume me. I had been a child who was born out of the death of another. He often asked me why did I a good for nothing got to live, while my mother didn't. And I asked myself that too, I wish I could give my life so she would return. That way, I could see him smile. But for now, this was the first time he had even touched me. I was often in the care of the maids, I was handled with care by them. They loved me, and I loved them back. But I just wanted my father, I wanted him to be proud of me, to love me, to hold me and tell me everything would be alright, that this was just a phase he was going through.
"Stop smiling!"He screamed and brought me up by my hair. "Say something!"He handled me like a rag doll. And I felt like one too, I felt hopeless as his body was much larger than mine. I could do nothing even if I wanted. And the problem was..that I didn't even want to do anything. I wanted him to relieve himself of that hatred, if hurting me was something that made him feel good, then I would happily sit here and take all of the pain. Without a doubt, because I loved him with all my heart. And I hoped that somewhere in his heart, he felt the same way.
"Why don't you just die already!?"He yelled and pushed me back. Angry hot tears rolling down his cheeks. My eyes widening as he began to sob. Had I made him cry? Why was I always hurting him? "Leave! I don't want you here! Nowhere around here! Just leave my home! Leave this world! Disappear!"
"Father, do you really want me to leave?"I ask. My heart aching as it wished for him to say no. It wished for his love and affection. But we received nothing...
"More than anything in the world! I wish you'd just disappear from the face of earth!"He cried and hugged himself.
I stood on my trembling feet, I could barely see, everything looked so blurry. I stepped closer to him as he shook and cried on the ground. "Everything is your fault! If you hadn't been born she'd still be here! My Layla!"
Mom, he was right. If I had never been born, that beautiful kind hearted lady would still hold him and make him the happiest man alive. It was truly my fault, everything. I touched his hand and kissed his forehead. I would leave if that's what would make him happy.
"You're right, father."I whispered. "I will leave. I will disappear from the face of earth if that's what your heart desires."
He sat still, his eyes wide. He didn't respond, he didn't move, he didn't even blink as I left. I wandered the hallways, saying my goodbye's to the kind maids. To my family. I would never see them again. Perhaps this was for the best, I had no future. I could barely use magic, it was Celestial Magic. But I would never dare to use it, because it had been mother's. Her murderer had no right to wield her keys.
"Lucy-sama!"Spetto cried and bent down to carry me. She hugged me tightly in her aging arms. "You don't have to leave. We'll take care of you, like we always have."
"My father doesn't want me here."I tell her and caress her cheek. "I will go to another town, make a living for myself."I lie. "You take good care of him, that will be my wish. I will be alright."
"You're just nine! You can't survive out there!"Another said and clung onto me. "I can get someone from my relatives to take you in!"
"Thank you."I smile. "But that won't be necessary. I know what I must do. I have bothered everyone enough as it is."
Spetto bent down and rested her forehead on mine. "You're an intelligent girl. I believe in you."She closes her eyes. "If you want to leave, take these with you."She opens her fist, four keys resting on her palm.
My eyes widened. I had never seen the keys before, they were so beautiful. I caressed each key, I could feel their power humming in sync with me, they called out to me, I could feel my body pumping with energy. But I softly closed her fist. "I cannot accept them. They were Layla-sama's. I will not taint them by using them."
Spetto sighs. "Your mother would have loved you. She would love to see you use them instead of being kept hidden in a wardrobe."
"You took them from my father?"I look up at her. "He could fire you if he found out, Spetto!"I exclaim concerned. My eyes fill with tears. "Do not do this for me. I do not deserve such kindness."
"You deserve this and so much more, if I am fired, then so be it. At least I know I helped someone very dear to me."She smiles gently. "I do not want you near someone who hurts you day and night. It was selfish of me to want to keep you here."
She traces a large scar on my arm, one that father had given to me with a broken glass bottle. "Leave Lucy. Be happy."
"I will not be needing the keys where I am going..."I whisper to myself as I run out of the mansion. I quickly leave them on a coat rack, I would fulfill father's wishes.
_________
As I stared up at the sky, I felt the cool breeze calmly. It felt as though it was trying to soothe my soul. Today had been the first time I had felt the warmth of father's skin. I smiled and looked down at the river. I step inside the cool water, I would not allow any more pain to come to father.
Even if it meant my own death. I didn't like inflicting pain upon others, I would never do such a thing. If this helped at least one person, then I would do it. I slowly let myself sink, I didn't bother taking one last breath and let myself fall into the refreshing water.
Spetto and the maids had been the best thing that had ever happened to me. They had given so much time to me, they had dedicated their selves to teach me how to read, how to write, how to cook at such a young age. I felt happy, I would always care for them.
Perhaps what Spetto said was true? And maybe mother would welcome me with open arms. Yes, that would make me very happy...
I closed my eyes, and thought upon her beautiful face. Just this one wish.
____
"-ucy! Lucy! Lucy!"
My eyes flutter open, I sit up and feel pain in my throat as I spit out water. I breath in and look up a very angry looking mermaid. Was she Aquarius? The spirit my maids never stopped talking about. "Aquarius?"
"Don't Aquarius me! You stupid child!"She shouts. "Do you have any idea what you were doing!? Huh!?"
"Are you angry with me?"I ask.
"Of course I am angry! Why would you dare do something like that!?"
"I am sorry."I tell her. "I was just doing what father wants. I do not wish to bother him anymore."
"You father asked you to do...this?"Aquarius mumbles out.
I nod. "Yes. If that will make him feel better. Than I must do that. All I have brought to him is pain and suffering."
"Listen to me,"Aquarius glares. "You have brought no one pain nor suffering. He's just a weak man! How dare he ever treat his daughter this way!? His one and only daughter!"
"But-."
"Shut up and listen! You must live! You are the only child Layla had! She would never ask of you to do this! You must live for her! If you die! You'd be killing her! Her death wasn't your fault! It's just how the world works! But you are her child, as long as you live, she'll live within you!"Her eyes brim with tears. Was it my fault? "Right here."She points to my chest. "You may have not met her, but I did. And she would have wanted you to live, because she would have loved you with all of her heart!"
Would she have? I look down to my hands. But then father would remain upset as long as I was here. I stare at the ground. If I left this world, that would make father happy and mother upset? And if I stayed...
"I can't do it,"I look at her. She furrows her brows. "Father will never be happy if I remain here. He asked of me to disappear from the face of earth."
"I will kill him!"Aquarius grits out.
"No!"I panic. "You must not do that! I want him to be happy! That will make me happy! I just want to leave, I don't want to be here where I harm him just by breathing!"
I always tried understanding his pain. And I did. To loose someone you love was painful. I couldn't ever bare his death, whether he loved me or not, I'd cry and I'd want to be with him to the ends of earth. But he didn't want that, so I'd let him be in peace.
"Then come with me,"Aquarius extends her hand. "I somehow know you will try this again until you achieve it. I will help you change your life then. You don't have to be in this world. You can go to another one."
Confused, I take her hand. I felt compelled to do so. For the first time, I could feel love pouring from her skin and into me. I closed my eyes and felt like I could follow her forever. It made me feel safe and welcomed. If felt nice.
I opened my eyes and stared at my hand as they disappeared little by little in glowing dust. I stared in awe, I had never seen something so beautiful. I felt as if I was being sucked up and twirled, in hues of black and pink and blue. All beautiful colors surrounding me.
When the image cleared, I was in a colorful place. Filled with glowing specs and a beautiful sky. Stars radiated to close to us. Everything was of a dream. So perfect. I felt someone squeeze my hand. I looked at Aquarius who held onto it tightly.
"This is the Spirit Realm. Unfortunately, you can't stay here for long."She says.
"I don't want to go back. I will not go back. It's OK if my life finishes here."I smile and look around. "Everything is beautiful."
"Listen to me little girl!"Aquarius shakes me roughly. "You are just nine! You have a long way to go! You still have to make friends! To fall in love! To marry! To have your own kids! You have a whole life ahead of you! I didn't bring you here so you could give up! I brought you here so you can get another chance at accepting life!"
"To fall in love?"I mutter out. "I already love my father! I love the maids! I love my mother! I think I even love you!"
Her eyes widen, "N-Not that kind of love you stupid! You will meet Prince Charming! Or even a girl, who knows! But you must live OK? Do that one thing for your mother."
"I already told you, I will not go back!"I say as final. No matter what, I would not go back there, it would forever haunt me that I didn't fulfill his wish.
"He said he wanted you gone from the face of earth? Correct?"Aquarius asks. I nod. "Then you don't have to go back to that earth. You can go to another one."
"What do you mean?"I ask. I had only done so much reading about realms. But I never thought it'd be possible, yet again. I am here.
"You can leave to another world, you will disappear from that earth. You would fulfill his wish."Her brow twitches. "Even if that coward doesn't deserve it. He should see you thrive! He should see you become someone great, better than he could ever be. So he can feel miserable about what he has done to you."
"I don't want that. I want him to be happy!"I say. "I don't care how many time he hurt me. I want to understand him, and I do. But I don't want to make mother upset. I want to live, for her, but I don't want to return to that world, for him. So please, if you can, take me somewhere else. Somewhere I can make both happy."
-
Layla...if only you wouldn't have left her in this cruel world. Aquarius thought to herself as the blonde girl spoke. She was out of her mind if she truly thought she was worthless. She would take her to a world where she could practice her magic and have them around. She'd call in favors from the other spirits, the ones they owed her. She would make sure she was the strongest and most lively girl in the new world. She would show her just how much of a beautiful thin life can be.
That she promise as she took her to the Spirit King.
-
"You have gathered us all here. Why is that, Aquarius?"His voice booms loudly. Aquarius pulled Lucy forward.
"She is the reason, King. She's a Celestial Mage. If you must, you will understand."She pulls Lucy forward to the King. Lucy could only stare at the huge man in front of her. She didn't understand anything. He bent and touched her small head in his hand. He closed his eyes and hummed. Her life zooming past his mind in seconds. He stood back up and stared at Aquarius.
"What you ask of me, is to open a portal. For a girl?"The King rumbles out. "And to give her spirits she has not yet acquired on her own?"
The spirits that surrounded them stood quiet as they watched. The young girl looked so innocent and pure, it hurt them to see such sadness in her. They didn't know why, but she was a compelling human. They wanted to hug her and make her the happiest girl alive.
The King hummed. "Very well. But I will ask for a favor in return. When the time is right."
"I will do whatever you ask!"Aquarius bows.
"No."The King says firmly. "Not you. This child will play an important role in my place, when the time is right. Do you understand girl?"
Lucy nods. She would do anything.
"Leo The Lion, though banned from the spirit world. Will accompany you, with this, he shall atone for his great sin and will be allowed to come back. I will only grant you the golden keys, the rest will be up to you. You must not die, or I will bring you back myself until you have completed the favor. Speak girl!"
"I understand!"Lucy bows. "I thank you very much, Spirit King!"
With this, she started her journey. Another attempt at setting her life together.