“This is Buckbeak!” Sirius was standing beside the hippogriff stroking the long, grey, feathered neck while his family stood in line a few feet away. “Now once you bow, wait for me to give the go-ahead then you can come say hello. Since he will be carrying a few of you on our trip it is very important he likes you. If not… well…” He grinned mischievously.
Alissa looked over the large blue grey creature with concern. The horse end she could manage, the beak and wings and feathers not so much. Together with Sirius they had discussed travel arrangements for the summer abroad and the good news was that she would not be riding Buckbeak, the bad… was that her kids would be. When weights added up it just wouldn’t work any other way getting the entire family of six across a great distance on a broom, they needed Buckbeak. The only question left was whether Danny would be on the broom with herself and Sirius or on Buckbeak with everyone else.
Lyla was bowing very low and keeping her eyes fixed on the ground when Sirius called her to come forward. Alissa watched, holding her breath as her eldest child approached the animal who was watching with piercing yellow eyes. Lyla reached out carefully and stroked Buckbeak slowly while Sirius laughed about her chicken keeping habits back in the cave. Alissa let out the breath she had been holding and watched once more with her heart thumping as Cory bowed very low and then moved forward to say hello.
When all the kids were safely gathered around Buckbeak who was thoroughly enjoying the attention, Alissa made her bow and approached. She tried very hard to just think of him as a horse and watch his movements carefully but it was nerve racking putting the lives of your children in the hands, or talons rather, of such a powerful animal.
“What did I tell you, he’s a great big suck” Sirius grinned “now let’s see about riding him.” He plucked Cory up off the ground easily even though he was a quickly growing nine year old, and positioned him at the front closest to Buckbeak’s neck. Next came Aquila who was giggling and excited when she wrapped her arms around her brother’s waist. Finally, Sirius gave Lyla a leg up and she tucked her knees carefully under the huge silver wings.
“What do you think Beak? Not a bad sized load, can you take one more?” Sirius pulled the rope around Buckbeak’s neck and walked him a few paces to check how comfortable he looked. “He looks good I think” he looked up to Alissa for her opinion and swiped at his long curly hair as it fell over his eyes.
“If we can fly just as quickly with Danny, I’d rather keep him with us but it’s up to you.” She answered honestly. The last time they had to fly as a group, Lyla was only two years old. Danny was now four and a half and a bit thicker than she had been. When they made the trip from the cave back to England, Sirius had flown one at a time on the broom, dropping them in the forest and then remained in dog form while Alissa moved the kids into the flat.
Buckbeak did look fairly comfortable with his load, Lyla was tall and thin as was Cory for his age but she just wasn’t sure if she could trust Danny to hold on for such a long ride or avoid a squabble that would knock one of his siblings off.
“The broom will take the weight that isn’t a concern” Sirius answered thoughtfully “but speed might be an issue. Beak is fast and this group is almost nothing to him. I think we would make better time if Danny was with the kids.” Buckbeak was pawing the ground anxiously now, wanting a good flight. He had been tied at the little shed on Remus’s property for days and he was raring to go.
“Can we do anything to make it more safe?” Alissa chewed her bottom lip in thought and looked down at Danny who was wriggling in excitement, his grey eyes flashing.
“I’ll get Remus to help me make a harness with handles for everyone, maybe we can belt the little ones in.” Sirius led Buckbeak back over to his line and tied him up before helping the kids slip off and tossing Buckbeak a large dead rat.
“Ugh, disgusting” Alissa cringed and turned to the house to get started on dinner even while Danny said how cool it was and Sirius laughed.
The family had packed up all of their belongings and Cork the cat early that morning. It was now mid-June and Sirius was itching to get out of the country and somewhere safe. He knew Ministry officials were hunting for him as he kept in contact with Dumbledore and it was Dumbledore who had suggested a remote chain of islands off the coast of Africa. The trip would take about four days if they made good time but the kids would need frequent rest stops as they couldn’t risk anyone falling asleep while flying.
It had been quite the effort moving everyone to Remus’s home, miles outside of Neath, Wales. In the end, disapparating back and forth with young sleepy children was too much of a risk if they couldn’t keep their minds clear, so Alissa had hired a couple cars and everyone piled in except for Sirius who made his way in dog form. The trip had been the same as every moment with Remus had been- quiet and depressing. The kids did their best to talk to him and Danny tried to entertain them all with a dance but Remus remained withdrawn and subdued. Truthfully, Alissa felt bad leaving him behind but the safety of her family obviously came first and so they would leave early the next morning.
That evening while Sirius and Remus created a comfortable, fitted harness for Buckbeak that would hold all four children, Alissa waited on Matilda who she had called that afternoon to send off one final letter for the summer. Her last had seen no reply so she assumed the old owl had stayed at Hogwarts which was probably a good place for her. She made a mental note to tell Matilda to stay with Shannon after this delivery and jotted that down quickly at the end of the letter.
“I knew I recognized this owl” Remus’s voice jolted Alissa out of her thoughts as she stood by the window watching the sky. “She belonged to Irma Black, didn’t she?” He asked, his face hard and eyes sharp.
“She did” Alissa replied honestly, dropping her hands to her sides and tapping the letter against her leg. She knew where this was headed by the look on his face and did her best to cut him off “but you know she couldn’t have told you that Remus. What would you have done if she told you?”
“I –well I would have understood!” He answered, deeply agitated. The past week had definitely taken its toll on him. The huge dark circles under his eyes had just kept growing and at the rate he was dropping weight, he would be a walking skeleton in no time. It wasn’t a surprise when he pushed Matilda off of his arm and onto the back of a chair; he probably had little strength left.
“Everyone likes to think they would understand a loved one’s deep dark secrets but it never works that way. You would have told her that she didn’t understand who the real Blacks were thinking you were protecting her and then you would have told Dumbledore.” The joyful laugh of Sirius could be heard floating over the evening breeze as he strapped kids onto Buckbeak and jogged them on the line.
Remus stared at Alissa as anger rose in his chest, who was she to tell him how he would act? She was just a part of the giant stack of lies that made up Shannon. He wanted them all out of his life; it would be easier to just be alone. “Are you sending her a letter?” he finally asked, still seething.
“Yes, I’m just about to” she lifted the letter, waved it and moved towards Matilda.
“Wait” he said and reached around behind his neck to unclasp the chain he wore. “Send this back” he held the shining necklace depicting the moon, the lioness and the wolf.
Alissa gazed at the pendant and frowned, this was going to be one more uncomfortable moment to add to the growing list. “It’s really nice isn’t it?” She said quietly but made no move to take it from him. In a way, seeing the necklace from the letters made the whole situation more real for her.
“No it isn’t!” he barked “I want it gone.” The necklace shook on the end of its chain and his face was screwed up in the mix of emotion rushing through him.
“Remus, she told me about it so you know I can’t send it back. If you don’t want to look at it, stuff it in a drawer or something but you should really keep it.” The letter was tied to Matilda’s leg and she asked the owl to step up onto her arm.
“I can’t” he whispered, dropping his arm to his side and letting the necklace dangle there. He was facing reality for the first time since that last day at school and he could feel his defenses breaking.
Alissa watched him warily, she knew he was about to break but had no idea what to do with him. It would be good for him to get it out but did she really have to be the one to handle it? She considered opening the letter once more to tell Shannon off for creating this mess but instead told Matilda to stay at the school and threw her arm out the window to send the owl away.
Remus looked up to watch the bird fly into the darkening sky, his face contorted in agony. Just the thought of where she was flying was eating him up inside. “Have you –has she…” he couldn’t finish the question, he couldn’t bear an answer but he couldn’t live without one.
“I haven’t heard from her since –well in a while” she guessed at what he was asking but desperately wanted this conversation over with. “She does this when –she gets quiet when…” she struggled to find the right words. “I’m sure she’ll be fine, they’ll be taking care of her.”
He turned his gaze to Alissa and then back down to the chain hanging through his fingers “I miss her so much.” Every word carried the weight of his misery and settled on Alissa uncomfortably.
“I know you do” she replied quietly and prepared for the inevitable. “I’m sure she misses you too and I’m so so sorry for both of you.” She took a step towards him and as expected he slumped into her arms and let go. Silent sobs shook his body and she patted his back soothingly.
“I would have spent my life with her” his voice was muffled in her neck and he smelled of stale sweat and unwashed clothing “I –I had p –plans if this summer went w –well…”
“I’m so sorry” Alissa repeated, it was the only thing she could think to say and it included the sorrow and guilt at her own part in this heartbreak.
“Uh-oh, are you making moves on my fiancé?” Sirius joked as he came through the back door breathing heavily from exertion while the kids poured in laughing and squealing their delight in flying with Buckbeak.
Alissa glared at him and waved them out of the room but their arrival had already broken through to Remus. He straightened, apologized and left the room thoroughly embarrassed. She looked after him sadly and hoped he took her advice and kept the necklace but she couldn’t worry about that now. It was time to get the kids fed and into bed so they would be ready for their long trip.
“Will there be dolphins?” Aquila asked sleepily from her spot on the floor. Everyone was spread out together on a thick foam mattress that Sirius had been able to conjure using the living room furniture. Remus had once again chosen to stay in his room through supper though Alissa had left a plate of spaghetti near his door.
“I’m sure there will be love, now go to sleep” Sirius lay on the far end holding Alissa against him. He hadn’t ever felt real jealousy and possessiveness with anyone before but seeing her holding another man, even if that man was his friend and in obvious distress, had brought it out of him.
“He’s really just like one of the kids?” he resumed the whispered conversation while his hands travelled lovingly over Alissa’s body.
“Yes!” She hissed back but couldn’t help a laugh. A little bit of jealousy here and there was never a bad thing but over Remus? That was worth a laugh. Now she was having to insist that hugging a man who was crying was just like comforting a distraught child. “Couldn’t ever be anything more, you are the only one I want.” She considered proving that but this was neither the time nor place.
“Oh you’ll be explaining that in further detail once we reach our destination” he growled into her ear and then nibbled it.
“My pleasure” she replied and pressed back against him.
“Don’t worry too much about our trip love; you know I will always be there to take care of all of you.”
Remus was up before dawn with the family as they made their final preparations for the first leg of their journey. Getting out of the UK before light was priority number one and the rush to get everyone safely out revived him by giving him something serious to focus on.
“Daniel Orion McFaden, take Cork out of your shirt right now! I told you he can’t come.” Alissa shouted across the yard. As expected when travelling with a large group of children, nothing was going as planned.
“It’s going to start raining soon, we should get everyone into their robes” Sirius said while glancing at the heavy grey clouds approaching across the dark horizon and blocking out the stars. “Did you already pack them?”
“No, they’re on the couch” she replied while wrestling the cat out of Daniel’s shirt. “Don’t think you could help me here do you?” she asked curtly and Sirius grinned before lifting Daniel up into the air by the elbows so Alissa could pull Cork out.
“I’ll get the robes” Remus said from the back door where he was drinking a strong cup of tea. They were definitely going to have a long tough journey with that one he thought to himself and smiled for the first time in days, he wouldn’t wish Danny on his worst enemy.
Lyla came in behind him, chewing a piece of toast and tying her long blonde hair back. “I’ll take Aquila’s and go find her” she said around her mouthful and grabbed the two robes.
It was going to be very quiet and lonely once everyone was gone, he would miss the chaos and he wasn’t sure Cork was going to be the best company. Time stretched out before him endlessly and for a moment he felt a stab of panic and wretched sadness when he wondered what he would do with himself for the year, and the year after and the year after that.
“Are those the boys’ robes?” Alissa asked breathlessly from the door “we’re almost ready now, just have to get them strapped into the harness.” She looked excited and terrified all at once and he was sure she had every reason to be both. He handed over the robes and headed outside to help get everyone safely loaded onto the big, stamping, squawking hippogriff.
“Up you go Cory; you’re in charge of the steering!” Sirius joked as he tucked his oldest son’s legs into the harness while Alissa tossed the set of black robes up. Next, Aquila was tucked in behind her brother, her knees bent under the front joints of Buckbeak’s wings while Remus belted the harness over her tiny ankles. Then came Danny, wiggling and screaming the whole way. He had to either sit cross legged or with his knees bent back so he was strapped around the waist to give a little freedom and then Lyla climbed up putting her feet in the leather stirrups that hung under the wings. There was a long pair of reins that led from the front of the harness back to Lyla for the younger kids to lean against if they started getting tired and so Lyla had something stable to grip.
“Everyone in?” Sirius asked, circling the group and pulling straps to make sure everything was snug and safe. “Anyone uncomfortable? You need to tell me right now because once we are in the air we will not stopping for quite some time.”
There was no answer as the kids shifted around finding comfortable positions so Sirius grabbed the new broom he had ordered under Remus’s name and threw a leg over. “Got everything?” he turned to ask Alissa as she climbed on behind him, wrapping her arms tightly around his chest.
“Pretty sure” she answered and shrugged her shoulders to feel the weight of the pack there. Sirius had a couple of dead rabbits hanging off the front of the broom so that Buckbeak would stay close. She looked over at the huge animal eyeing the rabbits and straining against the lead rope that Remus was holding and then at her kids all grinning in excitement. They were headed for a place full of white sandy beaches and lots of privacy. She couldn’t help thinking that once they got to their destination; it might just turn out to be a satisfying summer.
“Stay safe Remus!” Sirius called and then kicked off the hard dry earth. “Let’s go Buckbeak” he called over his shoulder and as Remus released the lead, Buckbeak and his load set off at a gallop across the small pasture before launching into the air with the beating of his huge silver grey wings. The kids were screaming and laughing, having the time of their lives as the family set off to the South West seemingly fleeing the sun as it sent the first rays of muddy pink and gold up towards the storm clouds spreading across the sky.
Remus lifted a hand to wave at the quickly disappearing figures and turned back to his home. It stood dark, empty and badly in need of repair; his life in brick and beam reflected back at him. When the huge orange tabby appeared in the doorway rubbing his chin against the frame, Remus sighed and headed inside to get the cat his breakfast and start picking up the pieces.