Through the night, Shannon could hear the muffled conversations passing her door as professors took turns checking in on the students sleeping in the Great Hall. No one else knocked, so they must have taken Remus’s word that all was well but she wondered if Severus was considering her absence throughout the day as suspicious. The more she thought about it actually, the more she was surprised he didn’t come check in her room himself, seeing as he already suspected Remus.
With all that had happened during the night and the knowledge that Severus would probably be even more terrible than normal, it was with some trepidation that Shannon was up for breakfast Monday morning. Having thought all night of the different ways she could approach the situation, she had settled with giving Remus what he wanted. It would hurt and it would be awkward for the rest of the year but it was for the best. This was the time to remember the reason she had come back so far and falling in love with one of the professors was never part of the plan.
As days started to flow into one another, Shannon realized that Remus must have had a very similar thought process because he rarely showed up for breakfast or lunch at the same time she did. When their meals did overlap, it was tense and silent. Remus would even go so far as to subtly shift his chair away from hers when he sat down. Fighting tears, Shannon thought she had finally discovered a form of magic that she excelled at - repelling men. That power had spread to Severus as well; even he was still avoiding her and not taking the open opportunity to accuse her of spying, lying or whatever else he could come up with.
Over the next couple of lonely weeks, talks of Sirius Black died down and talk of the Quidditch season opener revved into life. The school was overcome with excitement and the sporting jabs at opposing teams or fans flew through the air wherever groups of students gathered. The first match of the year was the coming weekend; Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff and everyone was eager to see Hufflepuff’s new seeker, Cedric Diggory. Girls giggled whenever his name came up and boys snickered and insisted that Diggory was a tosser to anyone who would listen.
After another breakfast alone Thursday morning, Shannon returned to her room knowing she would have to miss that match and refusing to acknowledge Cedric Diggory’s existence. He would be the first real loss in this mission and she wasn’t sure she was quite ready for that yet. It would be easier to keep her distance from him altogether; she hadn’t even read his owl file.
The day was clear and cold as winter encroached so Moss was silent in his cage. With a jump Shannon realized the reason Moss’s silence was unusual. On top of his cage was a large brown and tufted eagle owl. She sat calm and relaxed, clutching a letter in her talons and gazing her half closed eyes around the room. Far from afraid, Moss was eagerly poking his head out of his nest watching the imperious owl own the room from her spot on the cage.
Shannon took the letter and thanked the owl who remained in place. Far from wanting to argue over it, she turned to her bed and opened the letter wondering who on earth could be sending her mail with Alissa having said she would be sending no more. She unfolded the letter which started with a familiar greeting.
Face!
Well, I have a lot to tell but really I’m not in the mood. Having the love of my life off on some dangerous mission is not sitting well with me at all. The kids and I all miss him so much, I’m sure I miss him more though because the kids have almost all started school and have other things to keep them occupied.
I have to be careful in what I say, I know, just in case so I won’t really say more on that subject. Anyways, if you haven’t noticed, this is a different owl. Her name is Matilda and she belongs to none other than Irma! Remember Irma from so many years ago?
I was working at the shop one afternoon about a month ago, and this little old lady walked in asking me to point her to the cat food. As soon as she spoke I knew who she was but she didn’t seem to recognize me. I had to think a while before deciding if I wanted to tell her who I was. I still felt so guilty over how we parted but long story short, as you can see anyways since her owl is probably still sitting there, I did say who I was and then I tried to explain to her in a rush what had happened and begging her forgiveness.
Well I obviously didn’t tell her everything, but made up a quick story about why we had to flee, which was kind of true in a way. Anyways, she said she forgave me and had something of mine as well. I was a little shocked and wondered what it could possibly be but she said Lyla and I could come for tea at her new address. I had to explain to her that I actually had four kids now, wow you know, I’ve lived with them since birth and love them more than anything but it still feels weird to say “I have four kids.”
So we went to tea at her place and Irma gave us Speedy! Remember Lyla’s favourite toy as a kid? I was sure we lost it somewhere in the city but apparently it was stuck in a cupboard at our old place and Irma found it while cleaning the place out. She said most of the stuff like clothing she had donated to muggle charities but she thought Speedy might hold some worth if we ever saw each other again.
Lyla only vaguely remembers him and is also being a teenager right now so you know, nothing impresses her at all. Cory, trying to be like his sister is a little standoffish too but that could be partly his natural shyness. I don’t doubt that over time he will grow to love Irma, she is such a sweet lady.
Aquila is the little charmer as usual and she already sits on Irma’s knee listening to her old stories of growing up a witch in London and tries to show off the things she has learned from dad. Irma has promised the kids are allowed to come to her place anytime they want to play around with magic and learn a little of the basics.
I asked what about the underage magic thing and she said that only applied in certain situations like around muggles or when the child is old enough to be going to Hogwarts. There is no law against family teaching the kids the basics and keeping it in the home. I thought it odd that she used the word family but in a way she is like a grandmother to the kids, so I just accept it. It seems she doesn’t have any other family, or at least she never talks of any or has any pictures up on the walls.
As for Danny… well let’s just say that as every day passes I’m more and more grateful to have Irma in our lives. The other day I was working in the kitchen while she taught the kids about turning leaves in to insects. I don’t do bugs so you can guess I was keeping out of the way on purpose.
I turn around and Danny is standing there with his gap toothed grin holding Cork our cat. I found Cork on the street as a wet starving kitten one night when coming home from work. His tail is all bent and almost curly, I don’t know if someone did it to him on purpose and if I ever find out someone did they better watch out. Anyways, so it’s like a corkscrew, so he became Cork.
So, I ask Danny how his lesson is going and he says “good mum, I’ll show it!” Then he puts Cork down on the ground, waves Irma’s wand and all of a sudden there is a ginger tabby rat on the floor. I screamed and jumped on the counter, even though I knew it was Cork, I couldn’t handle looking at the thing. He’s lucky I didn’t jump off and beat him with a frying pan.
Irma came rushing in and saw what had happened. She was laughing so hard she had to bend over and hold her stomach while I just screamed and begged her to fix it. Finally she took her wand back and put Cork right and I sent Danny to his room. He’s lucky his dad wasn’t here, they have been taught since day one not to use magic on me but that kid is a little hellion. Irma says he reminds her very much of a boy she once knew, but I didn’t press that conversation at all. Anyways, now while I’m at work and the kids are at school, Lyla takes Danny over to Irma’s which is a huge relief since Lyla can’t totally control the things Danny gets up to magically either.
It’s going to be a very long year but at least now I can send messages once in a while through Irma’s owl. I asked Matilda to stay and wait for you to write a reply, really you probably know what I want to hear about but I know you have to be careful, so just send back whatever you can and some news on you! It’s been like a lifetime since we last talked and I really would love to know how things are going there.
Talk soon,
Alissa
Shannon looked up at Matilda, snoozing on Moss’s cage and wondered how she could possibly tell Alissa all that had happened or what she knew in code. Then there was the question of telling her about Remus or not, she wasn’t sure how Alissa would take that news since it wasn’t part of their plan and it did complicate things.
Feeling very much alone she decided she needed a friend who she could really talk to and after all she didn’t need to talk about Remus in code. Starting with a message along the lines of “all well in the animal kingdom” which she hoped Alissa would put together easily, she went on to write a long letter all about how the school year has gone so far; her interactions with Severus, the friendship with Dumbledore and finally the relationship with Remus.
After writing out all she could think of and pouring her heart into the letter, she did feel a little better. She tied up the parchment with the string Alissa’s letter had come in, handed it to Matilda and said “take it back to Irma.” With a lazy blink, Matilda was lifting off the cage and heading out the open window.
Lunch was once again a lonely meal but by now, Shannon preferred eating alone to having someone literally pull away as if she was carrying some contagious disease. She looked over the small crowd of students getting in a quick late lunch wondering who was heading to his class next and what it would be like. Not one to let his personal life interfere with his teaching, she was sure he’d be relaxed and happy, something she really missed seeing.
Work with the owls was quiet and slow going. Herman gave a few ear piercing screams in welcome and danced a little owl hop but when Shannon didn’t respond with cuddles, he flew back up to a higher perch and tucked his head into his back.
When work was done and she was heading in to the Great Hall for dinner she was surprised to see Remus was again not in his seat. He hadn’t been skipping dinner and it wasn’t a full moon. Torn between feeling like he was just upping his avoidance of her and wondering if there was something wrong, she waited for a chance to speak to Dumbledore. If it came to jumping up and chasing him out of the room, she was going to be ready.
Luckily, Dumbledore seemed to be in a mood to sit back and enjoy, so as professors around him got up and headed off to bed, Shannon moved to sit beside him and ask what, if anything was wrong.
“Good evening Miss O’Connor” Dumbledore smiled happily, taking a drink from his shining golden cup.
“Hey, I don’t want to bother you and I’m just off to bed myself but…”
“Bother me? Of course not. How are you? You are doing a most excellent job in the Owlery I must say. I have travelled up to send letters once or twice and thought I should mention to you how lovely it is when everything is all tidy and one mustn’t worry about getting their shoes dirty. Alas, there hasn’t been time until now, so there it is.”
Shannon blushed at the praise and thanked him before going on. “Headmaster… I don’t know if I’m out of line in asking this and if it is none of my business please forgive me but… I wonder where Professor Lupin is tonight?” She asked while fidgeting with the tablecloth.
Dumbledore stopped chewing and looked Shannon over carefully, obviously considering his choice of answer. “Professor Lupin took ill this afternoon, not to worry he will be quite alright and I’m sure you will have your dining partner back in no time.”
As usual, any conversation with Dumbledore no matter how long or in this case how short, left you wondering how much he knew and what he was actually saying between the lines. Shannon gazed at him in concentration a few moments and then decided there was nothing more to be said and mumbled goodnight before heading to bed.
Friday morning, Remus was not at breakfast. It was a dark and stormy morning, so black outside it looked as if it were night. Shannon had been thinking over what she wanted to do and ways she could achieve it. There were a few different options and plan A was to head up the spiral staircase that opened in the corner just down the hall from her bedroom to scope out Remus’s office and then somehow get in there before anyone noticed. The first part wasn’t too difficult, Remus had shown her his classroom and the location of his office once before and the latter was almost directly above her room. To get there from the staff room, she merely crossed the corridor then climbed one set of stairs.
The area was deserted and Shannon stood silent, pressed against a wall listening for voices. It seemed as if no classes were being held in this section of the castle first thing in the morning which could be good or bad news depending on how the next part of her stealthy plan went.
Knocking quietly on the office door, she waited only a few moments before pulling it open and then rushing in and pulling the door closed behind her with a soft click. Letting her eyes adjust to the darkness, she walked across the room towards the main desk. As with most offices in the school, the room connected either through a door or a staircase to the professor’s personal room. Though for some of the long term professors there were permanent quarters in another part of the castle, new professors had a room set up sort of like hers, magically added when needed.
Remus had never shown Shannon around the inside of his office and it surprised her that the door had been left unlocked. She might get lucky with her plan A if his room did indeed attach. If not, it would be plan B, which really wasn’t much of a plan at all, more of a desperate plea to Harry if she could find him, to tell her if he knew where Remus’s room was. She smirked wondering how that would go over “I helped Miss O’Connor break into Lupin’s room today” she could hear him telling his friends in a whisper over lunch and imagine the look on Hermione’s face.
Creeping around behind the desk to the dark corner, she thought she could see the outline of a door just beyond the wardrobe. Before she made it there, she heard a deep silky voice coming from just ahead of her. Panic engulfed her completely and for a few seconds all she could do was stare ahead in horror at the thought of getting caught in here by Severus.
Running out of time she did all she could think to do and dove under the desk praying the darkness would hide her and thanking God she had chosen to wear dark clothing. Without making a sound, she sucked in deep, relaxing breaths and forced her mind to empty, staring hard at the stone floor under her hands.
“Drink it all straight away” Severus said over his shoulder and though it seemed he was doing something nice, that hateful tone carried his real meaning. His cloak whooshed past the desk and for a moment he paused, looking around the office feeling as if something had changed.
Shannon didn’t dare breathe or make a move to peek under the desk; she stared at the floor thinking of nothing but darkness. Finally Severus moved on, pulling the door closed behind him. Heart pounding and arms shaking, Shannon held her position for another long period, waiting to see if he was still in the room or was going to reappear.
When it had been silent a good while, she slowly lowered her head to the floor and scanned the couple of inches she could see. There seemed to be no feet anywhere near the door, so slowly and quietly as she could, she crawled out from under the desk and then to the edge to peek around the side. Another few minutes in that position, watching the room warily, she crawled in the direction Severus had come from.
There in the wall just beyond the wardrobe as she had hopped, was a small stone staircase going up. Taking one last look around the room before standing, she made a run for it up the stairs. It was a surprisingly long set of stairs and Shannon wondered if Severus had actually thought his words would carry all the way up to the top or if he maybe enjoyed talking just to hear the sound of his own voice. Or maybe Remus had come down the stairs with him and then went back up.
When she finally reached the top, there was a narrow wooden door made of the same heavy wood as her own and with a small handle you could barely see in the dark stairway. This had to be some kind of personal room, she thought and tried the handle which was very luckily unlocked. She made a mental note to thank Severus for not locking doors.
Looking around the small foyer type room, she could see signs of Remus everywhere; the chipped mugs for tea, the little old teapot and his ratty old briefcase resting on another old wooden desk. How many desks did one person need? From the window she could just barely make out the slope to the Quidditch pitch off in the darkness past the Owlery tower. Had she really climbed that many stairs? And wait a second, could he see her working in the Owlery on nice days? How… sweet.
There were two doors in this room, not counting the one she had arrived through; one behind the desk and one off on the right side wall. The smaller door behind the desk had to be the one to the bedroom as the side door was larger and probably led into the hall. Knock or try the handle? She stood in the darkness catching her breath and contemplating this very complex problem. Knocking was probably best to try first, then move on to barging in she thought, that seemed reasonable.
“What is it Severus?” the weak voice said from the other side of the door.
Shannon stood frozen, she obviously couldn’t answer that question but what else could she do. She was not cut out for this ninja business, there were too many tough decisions to make, like, what to do when someone asks a question.
“If you are meaning to check that I drank it all, the door is open.” This time the voice carried a note of annoyance but also of helplessness.
Well, now or never Shannon thought and reached for the handle. The door swung in on a tiny bedroom with a tiny window that looked out towards the lake and with barely any type of decoration or even furnishing. A long bed took up the wall under the window and in the center of the room there was one small beige stuffed chair facing the tiny fireplace and a little side table where a smoking cup sat empty. The other wall had one small dresser and a thin cabinet occupying the rest of the space not taken up by a thin door that lead to what must be the washroom.
Wearing nothing but old, worn, striped flannel pant and shirt pajamas covered in a lose brown housecoat and an old pair of slippers with small holes just starting to form along the seams, Remus turned in the chair fully expecting to see Severus wearing his usual haughty expression. When instead his eyes fell on Shannon, the change in his features was instant.
“What are you doing here? How did you get here?” He demanded, shame at his surroundings and his current condition rushed through his body, bringing forth an unusual burst of anger.
“I came to check on you, I was worried” Shannon answered honestly, there was no turning back now. Besides, in his current condition she doubted he could actually force her to leave and hopefully wouldn’t have the energy to fight off her advances she thought to herself mischievously.
“I don’t want to see you, please leave” he said in a low voice, his jaw set in fury.
“You don’t want to see me, or you don’t want me to see you?” she asked shrewdly.
“That’s not the point! You can’t just come barging in to someone’s room, have you no manners?” His voice rose in octave and in volume as he stiffened in his chair. Still he failed to appear impressive thanks to the pajamas and slippers.
Shannon smiled to herself, as if she hadn’t heard worse. “I have manners Remus, very nice ones in fact, but only when it suits me. If you hadn’t already guessed, they currently do not suit me. Anyways, I brought something to make you feel better.”
He looked at her standing in only a pair of dark jeans and a black turtleneck and wondered what she could mean. Without waiting for him to ask, she threw her arms out and said “me, obviously.”
Gaping at her and unsure what to say next, the standoff continued in silence. Then realizing she was going to have to make the first move, again, Shannon stepped forward and knelt beside his chair. She took one of his cold clammy hands and pressed her lips to his palm. When he made no move to pull away, she stood again and pushed his sweaty hair off of his forehead and kissed him there.
His eyes closed in surrender to the soothing hands pushing his hair away, the light kisses covering his damp face. Bloody hell, she was actually making him feel better, so good in fact there was no way he was going to make her leave now. Enjoying a little comfort while feeling so awful could hardly be considered a crime he assured himself.
As he tilted his face upwards, hoping to meet her lips, she pulled back and said “oh no no sir, we did that once and then you refused to be anywhere near me for weeks and thoroughly ruined my first kiss. I’m afraid that if that’s what you want, you’re going to have to work much harder for it.”
His eyebrows shot up in surprise and then amusement. She was so changeable and so challenging, always keeping him on his toes. In fact, she was very much like the moon that ruled his life… This needed investigation. And did she just say first kiss?
“Shannon, your birthday is at the end of July?” He let her take his hand once again and start curling his long, strong fingers into her own.
“Mhm, the 26th, why?” She brought the hand to her face again, and pressed into it like an adoring cat.
“So you’re a Leo” he laughed at the comparison he had just made. She actually was a cat but that hadn’t been the answer he expected.
“You pay attention to astrology?” She peered down at him, mild surprise flashing across her round, pale face.
“Of course, it’s included as a branch of Astronomy and ties in to Divination. I was never one to delve deep into the subject but we are all taught the basics.” Lord the feel of her lips pressing firmly into the center of his palm was making him feel better than he should in places he couldn’t control.
“Were you expecting a different answer?” She sat down on the arm of the chair, keeping his hand in her lap.
“Actually, I did. For a moment I thought you to be quite…”
“Yes?” She pressed.
“Lunar” he looked up to her wondering if she understood even half of the meaning behind that.
“Well in that case, yes I’m a Leo but my heart…she’s ruled by your friend the Moon. I’m afraid that if you are seeing a loony side, it is because you are the unfortunate recipient of my heart’s moony attention.”
After a long silence where Remus let it sink in that she had just taken one of his more cruelly given nicknames along with a name no one else but his closest friends should know and his greatest fear and put them together in a phrase full of love he chuckled and said “you spend far too much time with Dumbledore.”
A huge grin spread across Shannon’s face as she gazed down at Remus. Being compared to Dumbledore could only ever be a compliment. “I suppose that was a rather over complicated way of telling you the moon has a strong influence in my chart, and that I love you.”
Silence fell again and Shannon wondered if she’d just pushed him away once more by going too far. He was still looking up at her though, which had to be a good sign. Their eyes locked in a long gaze and then Remus said “come again?”
“I said, I suppose that was a rather complicated…”
“Not that part, the last bit.”
“Oh, that I love you.” She said it so easily and with such confidence, he let it move through him.
“That’s good news then” Remus said, looking very thoughtful.
“I’d hardly call it that” Shannon grinned teasingly.
“I daresay it is! See, the woman who loves me will not actually make the man that loves her work too hard to remedy an error.” He reached up with his free hand and cupped Shannon’s face pulling her down to meet him and as the kiss grew deeper, she slid off the arm of the chair into him.
Pulling away breathing a bit heavy, Remus then added “there is bad news though to go along with it.”
“Can’t have good without the bad” Shannon sighed while running her hand down from his shoulder to his chest.
“That is that we’re closed in a room alone and now this pitiful man I mentioned has to work very hard to remain a gentleman.” Her warm, soft body in his lap was starting to make clear thinking impossible.
“Mmm” she purred and licked her lips.
“My goodness, you will be the death of me” he laughed and shifted his position in the chair so she was comfortably nestled in the crook of his arm with her legs over his lap. “When you said first kiss…” he leaned his cheek on the top of her soft shining hair.
“I meant first ever.” Shannon knew this information would have some effect on Remus. Men were strange beings and when a young teacher of hers in an adult course a year earlier had discovered she was “pure” so to speak, he could only splutter and stare before choking out “never?”
There was no spluttering or gasping in this case, Remus only held her tighter while a fierce possessiveness coursed through his body. Perhaps it was a strange wolf byproduct like enjoying his meat rare but all he knew was that this woman was now his property.
They spent the morning curled comfortably by the fire while the storm raged outside the tiny window. When Shannon finally asked why he was feeling so poorly, Remus explained that it was the day of a new moon and while normally he could handle the effects, this one seemed to be hitting him quite hard. There was no danger of changing unless he was outside late at night and had not taken his potion. This was only his body reacting to the moon and feeling ill and fatigued.
When it came time for lunch, Shannon knew she had to leave and then get to work. She begged to be allowed to come back after dinner but Remus was adamant that she eat her dinner and go to sleep, even assuring her that he would have some food so she needn’t worry about him but that he must rest. Pulling herself out of his lap was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do and with a frown and another kiss, she left him to recuperate.
The next morning was the day of the first Quidditch match. It was raging outside with great thunderclaps and flashes of lightning that illuminated the forest as the trees bent in the wind. Out in that storm Sirius was waiting as a great shaggy dog to watch Harry play. Out in that storm was where Harry would fall from his broom and be saved at the last moment by Dumbledore’s quick thinking. At least that’s how it was all supposed to go.
Shannon wrapped herself up in her cloak and scarf and headed over to the Great Hall for breakfast. Harry was sitting alone slowly gulping back some porridge. As she sat sipping down her own hot porridge, the Gryffindor team started showing up and crowding around Harry. They looked tense and unhappy, Oliver especially was trying to drive some serious point home and the team watched him, eyes wide and faces drawn.
She sat at the staff table a long while, half worried, half happier than she had ever been. All she could focus on was Remus and even then she was scolding herself for being so selfish. There were kids sitting in front of her who could actually be in danger today, not of Sirius of course but of the wind and the lightning and the dementors.
When Dumbledore showed up, she felt some relief when he nodded to her dressed fully in a warm cloak and hat that would shield his glasses from the rain. He would be there; everything would be okay as long as Dumbledore was there. After considering taking some toast to bring to Remus, she decided against it and went to her room. He had said he was having food brought up after all. She would visit later, maybe during the match. Fill him in on all that happened and check how he was doing.
Moss’s song could be heard almost all the way down the corridor and Shannon smiled hoping he wasn’t bothering anyone. When she opened her door and looked at his cage, she could see the real reason for his performance. Matilda sat upon his cage, windblown and soaked through holding a soggy letter and looking rather put out.
“Oh my, Matilda” Shannon frowned and took the letter from her beak. “I’m not sending you out again in this; she’ll just have to wait for a reply. I’ll take you over to the Owlery when I finish reading.”
Matilda shook more rain out of her feathers and looked somewhat appreciative at the news. Eyeing Moss with disdain, she tucked her head into her back to try and warm up.
Shannon sat by the fire and opened the wet note. It wasn’t long and luckily wasn’t smeared enough to make it illegible.
Wow talk about a long letter there buddy. So much to reply to but I don’t have a lot of time so I’ll just get right to the point.
First of all, Severus sounds hilarious. Okay I know that might be mean of me but we knew that’s what he would be like. If you ask me, Dumbledore gave some good advice, even if it was cryptic. The way I see it is if you are making him so angry that he wants to kill you, well… unless you’re actually like being mean to him, then it’s more likely you’re getting under his skin. I don’t know how or why really since I don’t know the guy but I’d keep that in mind next time you run in to him.
Second, Lupin sounds like, well how do I put this… he sounds like a great guy. A great guy who got scared and went running off with his tail between his legs. We both know why he’s running away from you, don’t even try to deny it. I want to say you probably shouldn’t chase him because from what we know of the story, that doesn’t work too well for you know who. So it was probably the right decision you said of just giving him the space he so um, nicely requested.
Speaking of that you know who, yeah I have to bring her up. You know how his story is supped to end face and that worries me. You two could very well be the love of one another’s lives, but then what? You have to let him go and you’re setting both of you up for some major heartbreak. Not even major heartbreak in your case; things for you will end so badly that I worry if you will recover.
I’m not going to tell you to go for it or not, you can make your own decisions, just remember what is coming. Some might say that to pass up the chance of loving someone, even for a year would be some major mistake. I don’t know, it might be true but I think those people usually mean like relationships you don’t know the ending of, so you take a chance.
Thing is, here, we do know the ending and we know it ends tragically so just spend some time thinking on if you can handle that kind of pain later on. Also, try not to forget the reason you’re there, even if the reason is being a major ass, there’s a reason he’s the reason, get what I’m saying?
I have to go, Lyla just got home with Danny so I have to be ready for anything!! Keep an eye out for my lost dog and get back to me when you can.
Contemplating once again all that Alissa had written and all that she herself had been forced to face the past couple of months, Shannon stared into the fire curious which emotion would break through and take over. She teetered on the edge of a great chasm of despair. Love the man or no, his story would end the same way. It was too far past the decision to fall or not, everyone knew that, so the only decision to be made was whether to enjoy the year she had with him or not. When put that way, she knew what she had to do.
“Let’s go Matilda; you could probably use a meal and a break from that black beast.” Shannon held her arm out for Matilda to climb on, while Moss hung upside down underneath her, singing what he surely thought was his most attractive song.
Pulling her cloak and hood tight around her body, she crossed through the wind and rain, passing by the stragglers on the way down to the Quidditch pitch. The wind had blown the rain through the open windows along the Owlery stairs and even the walls were damp with icy rain.
Once at the top, Matilda flew up to a comfortable perch and had a few bites of the owl pellets before settling in for a good rest. Shannon turned and closed the heavy door behind her so the owls weren’t being buffeted all over the place and then turned in the direction of the Quidditch arena. It was hard to make anything out in the dark and pouring slanted rain but she thought she could see tiny figures on brooms.
Turning away from the match, she headed back down the wet slick stairs and in the front doors of the castle. It was nearing lunch time by now but the Great Hall was eerily empty. Everyone had gone down for the match and the game would go on until one team won, through wind, rain, sleet and apparently through meals. Maybe they had some kind of snack trolley down there like they did on the train Shannon wondered, and then headed for the stairs on her way towards Remus’s office. At least this time she wasn’t going to have to sneak around nor would she have to leave for work.
She tripped over the desk and hit her knee on the chair on the way through the dark office and then had to feel the wardrobe to find the doorway beside it. The entire world had gone dark, as if night decided a couple hours of day was quite good enough. She climbed the stairway in inky blackness and almost walked in to the door at the top. The little antechamber wasn’t much better, only one small torch burned on the wall casting hard shadows in every direction.
Finally reaching the door to Remus’s bedroom, Shannon walked in without knocking and was shocked at what she saw. The fire was almost dead and the lamps were burning low, close to extinction. The curtain was drawn blocking out the wind and rain and Remus lay shivering and covered in sweat in a pile of damp sheets. His hair matted down on his head, his cheeks hollow and deep dark circles under his eyes made him appear to be deathly ill and she couldn’t understand how the change could have happened so fast.
“Oh Remus” she whispered and rushed to his bed. He smelled of stale sweat and his eyes were glazed over.
“Shannon” he said softly, turning his face to her. “It’s not as bad as it looks” he smiled faintly and reached to take her hand. “I feel a little better already” he said in a sigh and closed his eyes.
“I don’t understand, you didn’t look like this yesterday, how does it happen so fast?” She pushed the hair glued to his face back and looked around for something to wash him with.
“Lycanthropy works like a disease in the body,” he spoke slowly, his eyes still closed and his hand still clutching hers. “There are good days and bad, this just happens to be a bit of a bad one. It has happened before, it will pass.”
“Is there anything I can do for you? Anything I can get you?” She pleaded. It was impossible to stand there doing nothing. She remembered visits to the hospital where her mom had worked for decades; seeing the sick patients that no one could help would break her heart and send her fleeing from the room in tears. More than once she had been told she has what it takes to be a nurse but it was just too emotional for her and this was only ten million times worse because this was the man she loved.
“No love” he said in a breath “just be here with me.”
She looked down on him and then around the room and considered her options. She would happily lie down in a bed soaked with his sweat but it was probably fairly uncomfortable for him and there had to be a way to fix that.
“Just a sec” she whispered in his ear and pried her hand loose. The first thing she did was poke the fire back in to life and with a pang she thought about Melissa. She used to love to blow on fires and claim she had dragon breath for the way it would roar back into life. Knowing Melissa was safe was fine and all, but she was starting to miss her.
Next she found the oil for the lamps stored in the bottom of the cabinet and got a couple of them burning enough to dimly light the room. Then came the uncomfortable task of looking through his drawers for something clean and dry to put on. Everything he owned was in some state of disrepair and she knew that if he wasn’t feeling so terrible, he would be begging her to not go through his belongings.
Thank goodness she found the perfect thing quickly when she pulled out a long blue nightshirt. Having grown up with the idea that men slept in sweat pants or boxers, the thought of putting a “nightgown” on a grown man felt ridiculous and awkward but it was perfect for the current situation and she was just going to go with it. Once she had the room warming up and the nightshirt tossed over the chair, she leaned over Remus and said “I’ll be right back, I’m just grabbing something.”
Rushing down the stairs and tripping on the desk once again, she burst into the corridor and ran to her room. Once there, she grabbed one of her own fat fluffy pillows, tore the top sheet out from under the blanket and then ran back with the clean sheet billowing behind her. As far as she could tell the Quidditch match was still on because the entire school was still deserted.
Trying to avoid the desk that obviously had it out for her and holding the sheet and pillow up so they didn’t rub against everything, she made it back through the office and started climbing the stairs. She thought it quite funny when she got to the top that she was going to get him clean and dry just to be sweating everywhere herself.
Remus didn’t move when she walked back in and she wondered if this would actually be easier with him asleep or unconscious or whatever he was at the moment. It would probably be less embarrassing for him if he was passed out she figured so she set to work gathering the blankets off the floor and gently pulling his soaked sheets down the bed and off. She couldn’t get the bottom sheet off so instead started on the far side, tucking her clean sheet in over top of the damp one.
When he opened his eyes briefly to see what was happening, she asked him to roll over for a moment and helped by lifting his shoulder and then pulling the clean sheet underneath to tuck in on the other side. Next she set the blankets straight at the bottom and then turned nervously to pick up the nightshirt. She stood over him running the material through her hands, unsure if she could go ahead and do this.
“Remus” she whispered in his ear, “I’m going to get you changed into something clean and dry, so just don’t wake up and think I’m um, stripping you for fun?” Good God this was going to be awkward even though yes, she had to admit she was somewhat curious to see his body. Before a dirty smirk could fully form over her face, she shook her head and reminded herself that there was a reason she got a nightshirt out and not another set of pants and shirt.
Remus only moaned softly in reply and so she reached forward and started unbuttoning his sweat stained shirt. His skin was pink and clammy underneath and his chest as she suspected was relatively hairless until you traveled a little farther south. Swallowing hard, she looked away and slid an arm under his shoulders to lift him to a sitting position.
His body was burning up as it slumped against her and though he roused enough to open his eyes and try to grasp an idea of what was happening, he didn’t fight. She pulled the disgusting shirt away from his body then took the chance to pull his pillow out from under him and to stuff her clean soft pillow back in.
With some difficulty she managed to get his nightshirt over his head and then his limp noodle arms into the sleeves. Panting slightly with the exertion she pulled the shirt down his back as far as she could and then gently laid him back down on the pillow.
Time for the finale she joked to herself and then did her best to pull the sides of the nightshirt down under his rear end and past his hips. Feeling pretty confident that she could get this last bit done without being naughty and peeking, Shannon reached under the nightshirt and felt for the waist of his pants. Lurid images kept flooding into her mind and she was starting to feel like some kind of sex offender. The pants came out from under him fairly easily and with that she pulled them down off of his legs and threw them into the pile of dirty laundry at the foot of the bed.
She straightened his nightshirt down as far is it could go and groaned to herself when she could make out the shape of, well, everything, under the light material. She had educated herself well on the male body and from the glimpse she got, the man looked rather large even in resting state. She started questioning how much larger he would become if aroused and had to shake the thought out of her mind.
“Oh God please forgive me for being such a dirty dirty person” she whispered and quickly pulled the blankets up to cover his lower half. With everything finally in place, she went to the bathroom to grab a cold damp cloth and then climbed in to bed with him. Washing his face and neck and then letting the cloth rest on his head, she put her head down on his shoulder and relaxed into him.
“Am I…interrupting something?” the deadly calm voice broke through Shannon’s light sleep making her shoot up into a sitting position.
Severus stood holding another smoking cup of potion, eyes shining menacingly. Rage had once more drained the colour out of his face and his posture was so rigid, he appeared as a black marble statue. Still, seeing someone who knew what was going on, Shannon filled with relief.
“Severus” she said quietly not wanting to wake Remus. “I’m so glad you’re here. Is this normal do you know? He was almost delirious earlier or going in and out of consciousness or something. It was horrible. Is this supposed to happen?”
“Do I look as if I study the cycles of…” he didn’t finish the sentence, but the awful sneer on his face said more than enough.
“Well, seeing as you’re brilliant and always know everything about everyone, yeah, I’d say you do look as though you study the cycles of everyone and every…thing.” She replied angrily.
Once again, she’d somehow knocked him off his game and he stood in silence, eyes shooting daggers. “You do surprise me Miss O’Connor” he said in a low cold voice and Shannon knew this wasn’t going to end well. “You surprise me with your nerve and with your blatant lack of regard for rules or your own safety. What really surprises me though, is your complete failure to choose worthwhile companions.”
Shannon sat staring at him, her head tilted and eyebrows raised in a mix of shock and wonder. “Wait wait wait” she shot out before he could leave thinking he’d won this one. “Did you just switch tactics to complimenting me while insulting people I love? Well now you are the one surprising me Severus. It’s as if you actually believe I value your opinion enough to be flattered while simultaneously assuming your opinion of others could ever sway mine. That’s pretty impressive, even for you.”
Once again, a flush of anger rushed into Severus’s face and a muscle ticked in his jaw. Shannon sat wondering if she should jump out of bed in case he tried to kill her again and accidentally hit Remus. Instead he slammed the cup of potion down on the table, sloshing some over the edge which then started to sizzle in the wood. “If you found any compliment in what I said, that is proof that you are truly the empty headed, foolish girl I originally believed you to be.”
Just as he reached the door, Shannon called out softly “thanks Severus, for the potion I mean, truly, thank you.” Then she grinned with evil glee when he turned and slammed the door behind him.
“Well, you’re a feisty one today.” Remus’s voice was hoarse and his eyes remained closed. “You really shouldn’t press his buttons like that you know” he scolded “it’s unkind.”
Shannon was still grinning to herself when she leaned forward to move the cloth over his face. “Are you trying to tell me you didn’t enjoy that at all?”
A light smile spread across his face but then he said “I’ll give you credit for holding your own but you needn’t get involved on my behalf.”
“Oh come on, I was only giving him what he wanted. Besides, he hates me just as much as he hates you, so don’t try to take all the credit here. Shall I get you your drink?” She slid over top of him to get off the bed and he moaned softly.
“Shannon, how exactly did I get into different clothing?” His eyes were open now and a blush was creeping up his neck into his face.
Shannon just grinned impishly and said “I am a woman of many talents. Now can you sit up to drink this or do you need help?”
Slowly but surely, Remus pulled himself up, making sure to keep the blankets in his lap and then still blushing furiously, he took the cup of potion and started sipping at it. Shannon crawled back to her spot and while he worked on his drink, she told him all about what had happened at the Quidditch match. How dementors had come onto school grounds and while Harry was after the snitch, they closed in on him causing him to fall from his broom. Also, how Dumbledore had stopped his fall just in time and was incensed but that Harry was okay, recovering in the hospital wing.
After recovering from that mild shock, being a typical Gryffindor, he asked who had won the match and took it poorly when she said that Hufflepuff had. They talked a while longer and then to Shannon’s great displeasure, Remus told her she had to go have dinner and then go to bed. She rolled her eyes at him and crawled back off the bed, then bent to kiss him deeply saying afterwards “I’ll go, but while I’m gone I will be thinking up some of the ways you can repay me for today.”
“And now that is the only thing I’ll worry about until I see you next. You are terribly cruel you know!” He called after her, but she was already out the door, her laughter teasing him as she disappeared.
The next day, though he didn’t appear at breakfast, Shannon found Remus looking a thousand times better, sitting up in his chair by the fire and dressed in slacks and a sweater. She kissed him hello and asked if he’d had anything to eat. When he said he had, she moved to sit at the foot of his bed, kicked off her shoes and plopped the large book she had down into her lap.
Remus stood and slowly turned his chair to face the bed and then curiosity got the best of him. “What are you reading about today?”
Shannon stopped flipping through the pages, grinned and held the book up so he could read The Official Everything Astrology Manual “I’m looking you up of course, can’t have you being the only one in the know.”
Remus laughed softly and shook his head “it’s not exactly a precise science you know.”
“Predicting the future is never an exact science because free will means decisions can change at the very last second; that part of astrology, I pay little attention to. As for where your planets are and hints at who you might be, I think it seems quite close to exact.”
“Do you think that I embody everything that is Pisces then?” He asked while lowering himself slowly into his chair.
“No one is ever one hundred percent one sign, that is just your sun and while yes, you are very Pisces in many ways that is just scratching the surface. Ah here we go…” A look of amusement spread over Shannon’s face as she wrote down the locations of each planet. She had researched astrology on her own some time and had a basic understanding. Without reading the descriptions, she was already gaining what she believed to be valuable insight.
“Here we go what?” Remus finally asked when the information was not forthcoming.
“Oh I thought you didn’t think it was exact, so didn’t think you wanted to know.” She smirked at him.
“Perhaps I’m more interested in what you think than what the book says.”
“To know what I think, you need only ask. Have you ever known me to withhold an opinion?”
“Oh come now, stop teasing and tell me what it says.” He smiled at her lovingly; she was becoming quite the handful now that she had an idea how he felt about her.
“Well, you have a Leo Moon, which means your emotions and intuition function much like a Leo. So it’s no wonder you’re emotionally attracted to me, am I right?” She grinned playfully. “Strange, the exact words in here are ‘they can be extremely inspirational to others, often bringing out the best. They are natural pack leaders.” Shannon quirked her lips, that was a strange coincidence and maybe a poor choice of words.
Reading on, Shannon then snorted to herself and Remus had to once again ask what she was on about. “Oh, this isn’t you at all; this Mercury in Pisces says ‘kindness, sympathy and empathy are keywords for this individual. Self-confidence is not supported however and there may be shyness and self-effacement.’ You’re right Remus, this is obviously drivel, I’ll just take it back to the library now.”
“No no, go on. No point just starting and then giving up. What’s next?” Remus put one leg over his knee and sat back getting comfortable.
Shannon read on through the house placements, mentioning anything that seemed to fit. Remus tried to deny half of it and they would get in to debates over his qualities and what he thought to be her giving too much credit for the good qualities and not placing enough emphasis on the bad. When he asked Shannon to tell him what her description was, she became silent and uncomfortable. He moved to the bed to sit beside her and tried to look up her birthdate himself.
Knowing that he would get the wrong information if he went with what he believed to be her birth year instead of the real year she rushed to do it herself. She jotted down the planets on the piece of paper and then started flipping through sections with Remus reading over her shoulder.
“…an immediate charm, this person is extremely beguiling… I’m afraid I was right, this information is clearly wrong.” Remus teased and Shannon glared at him remembering the night they met.
As they read on together they came across the section on Synastry, the practice of comparing two charts to search for clues on how the relationship would work. Many of the aspects suggested things both felt but had never put into words. The truth hit maybe a little too close to home and neither mentioned any of the more obvious descriptions such as the fact Remus was to feel “loved, happy and safe due to the partner’s warm and generous response” or that Shannon was supposed to have “instinctive empathy for the partner’s awkwardness and self-deprecating tendencies.”
When Shannon read “this relationship will arouse passion and likely be very sexually fulfilling” she laughed cheekily, pointed to the sentence and said to Remus “now you have expectations to live up to my friend.” Remus chuckled nervously and then looked away wondering how he would resist her much longer.
Just as they had finished pouring over the book, there was a knock at the door. They both shot a glance at one another wondering if it was Severus again and Remus gave Shannon a look that told her to behave.
Remus called out “come in” and it was not only Severus but Professor Dumbledore as well. As they both stepped in to the room, Shannon and Remus instinctively sat a little straighter, leaning slightly away from one another.
“Good evening Miss O’Connor, Professor Lupin” Dumbledore smiled pleasantly. “You were missed at supper tonight. Professor Snape mentioned that you had been looking particularly ill last night, I thought it best to come see for myself.”
Shannon sat stiff and silent wondering what his real meaning had been and why Severus was included in this if a simple check on Remus’s health was the only concern. The fact that Severus was standing there fuming behind Dumbledore was enough of a clue as to the true meaning of the visit.
“Thank you Professor” Remus started, sounding completely at ease. “Yesterday was indeed a terrible day but with the fine care I received from not only Miss O’Connor but Professor Snape’s talent with potions, I am feeling much better today. Unfortunately, missing dinner tonight was a simple failure to keep track of time.”
Dumbledore nodded, still smiling and looked over his shoulder at Severus with perhaps a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Yes, I can see, you look as though you have both been busy in the pursuit of knowledge and far be it from me to disturb such a noble undertaking.”
Shannon and Remus looked down quickly at the few pages of notes scattered on the bed and the thick book resting in Shannon’s lap thanking the heavens that had been all that was going on in that bed.
“Well I can’t have you both go hungry, not with the start of another school week upon us.” Dumbledore pulled out his wand and pointed it at the table near the fire where there appeared dishes of bread and cheese and cups of hot tea. “Enjoy and goodnight.” He turned to leave still smiling and passed Severus who stood glaring hatefully.
“Is there something I can do for you Severus?” Remus asked, smiling triumphantly. “Perhaps you’d like to join us for an evening snack?”
“Oh! We can look up your chart too!” Shannon beamed and pulled the book open again. “You’re a Capricorn right? Ack, I was once friends with a Capricorn, that didn’t end well.”
“This isn’t over!” Severus hissed and slammed the door behind him.
“Well I never!” Shannon joked.
“I hardly know what he might be referring to!” Remus returned in jest and together they ate the warm bread and cheese before Remus walked Shannon back to her room and said goodnight.