4:34am
“I remember that first day I saw you and my heart stopped and it was like for that split second when our eyes first met everything was right in the world; there was nothing that could hurt me lightning could strike me right then and it wouldn’t make a difference because my whole body was already electrified at the sight of you and you smiled and I couldn’t help but smile too, because dammit I knew I would love you despite all my efforts not to
And when you told me you loved me too I was so desperate to believe you, I told myself it was true; you’d never lie to me and god we made all those plans like lying on the beach on a cloudless night to count the stars and find the constellations but the last time I said I loved you you didn’t say it back and the next time I saw you you had your arm draped around someone else the same way you used to do to me and I felt a stabbing pain like someone had stuck a knife in my stomach pulled it out stuck it back in and twisted it and I tried to stop myself but I lost all my self control I couldn’t stop the choked scream that left me as I dropped to my knees with tears streaming down my face, because damn I had loved you so much I had given you every piece of me and then you looked at me with that half smile that used to make my heart soar and spoke the words that broke me in every way possible, ‘You didn’t think I cared, did you?’ and you laughed as my body wracked with sobs and ever since that day I haven’t been able to love someone the way I loved you.”