The air was thick with anticipation as they silently assessed one another, neither moving, their skin tingling with expectation.
His face was so close that she could see the absurdly long length of his eyelashes and the black flecks scattered at whim inside his dark brown eyes. His breathing quickened and her heart rate followed.
This was it. He was moving even closer now. Her eyes widened as she waited for him with bated breath.
Make a move. I dare you.
But he didn't move. For some reason, this only made her heart beat even faster. He was driving her crazy trying to second guess what he was going to do next...
How was it possible that she never noticed how beautiful his eyes were until now?
SLAP!
She quickly snapped back to her senses as his palm made hard contact with hers. "Dang it, Wang He Di, did you have to hit me that hard?" Yue grumbled as she massaged the tips of her stinging fingers.
Dylan childishly stuck his tongue out at her. "It's what you get for being so distracted." He reached for her hand and inspected her fingers closely before lightly rubbing the redness away. "What were you thinking about anyway?"
At the reminder that she had been distracted by his eyes rather than focused on their game, Yue could feel her face beginning to heat up and she quickly shoved his hand away. "I was thinking about the next scene." Using it as an excuse to look away from him, her eyes scanned the expansive set of the Daoming mansion. "Do you see Yang Sao? Is she ready yet?"
A wry voice, tinged with age, sounded from behind them. "Ahem. I've been ready young lady. You are the one delaying our filming by dilly-dallying with our Young Master Ah Si here."
They turned around guiltily and saw that Guang Yang was already in full makeup and costume as Yu Sao - complete with the same exasperated look that Yu Sao frequently bestowed upon Ah Si and Shancai when they failed to do as she bid.
"We're sorry, Yang Sao," Dylan said in his most appealing voice, pulling playfully on her right arm as he beamed a charming smile down at her.
"Hmmmph."
On her other side, Yue was tugging her left arm and smiling sweetly as she apologized. "Yes, we're very sorry to keep you waiting."
"Hmmmph."
Yang Sao looked at the two young people draped on either side of her and harrumphed once more. "Am I a Christmas tree? Why do I have so many ornaments on me?"
Dylan and Yue both let go immediately, biting back identical smiles. Yang Sao may sound tough but they knew she favored them and privately enjoyed their competitive shenanigans.
"It's really Dylan's fault - he said one game but then it turned into ten games because I kept beating him," Yue offered in her own defense.
Dylan's mouth dropped open at the blatant lie but Yue simply ignored him.
"I don't know why you two insist on playing that childish game," Yang Sao said, crossing her arms as she fixed them with a shrewd look. "Is it just an excuse to touch each other?"
They both looked aghast at her blunt accusation and she smiled in satisfaction at her ability to render them speechless. She couldn't help but feel a certain feeling of affection towards these two kids, always in their own little world and completely oblivious to what was very obvious to those around them. It reminded her of her and her husband when they first met more than 60 years ago.
Before they could bombard her with their useless denials, she said, "Come, Yue, we need to quickly film the scenes. My son is visiting tomorrow and I still need to prepare some items."
As Yue followed closely behind Yang Sao, Dylan flashed her a peace sign and mouthed the words "good luck" as he pointed at Yang Sao's retreating back and repeatedly feigned a sawing motion at his neck.
"I saw that, Didi," Yang Sao announced without even so much as sparing a glance in his direction.
Dylan winced. "How –" he began but the spry old woman quickly cut him off.
"Silly boy, I see everything."
She smoothly disappeared onto the next set, leaving him to ponder her outrageous remark.
Dylan grinned - he almost believed her.
***
Several hours later, Yue carefully cleaned off her makeup and yawned. Her van was still about twenty minutes out so she curled up on the couch and tucked her feet beneath her. Pulling out her sketchbook, she turned to the last page and continued her doodle from earlier that afternoon.
"Are you sure you don't need me to go with you, Yue?" Yangjin-jie asked, popping her head back into the trailer for the third time.
Yue smiled and shooed her off. "I am fully capable of waiting for the van and getting into the van, Yangjin-jie. I might even be capable of getting out of the van and walking to my apartment... all by myself."
Yangjin-jie rolled her eyes at Yue's unnecessary emphasis on the last three words. "Yes, but can you do it without tripping on the way or losing your keys?"
The throw pillow in Yue's hand made it to the door about two seconds after Yangjin-jie had laughingly slammed it shut.
"Eh, I'm not that bad," Yue muttered to herself as she filled in the front paws of the animated dog she was drawing. A frown suddenly crossed her face. Where were her keys anyway? She could have sworn she had them when she left her apartment earlier that morning. Setting her sketchbook aside, she rummaged through her purse and gave a frustrated sigh when she couldn't find them.
Yue picked up the phone to call Yangjin-jie but was distracted when she saw that she had several unread QQ messages - five from Xiaowen and three from Jia Qi. Curiously, she selected the most recent message.
Avoid Weibo if possible.
A sense of dread began to unfold as Yue reread the words and contemplated the ramifications of ignoring its warning. After hesitating for a brief moment, she quickly opened her Weibo app and navigated to her notifications.
"Shen Yue" was trending on hot search again.
Her fingers hovered over the phone as she considered whether to proceed any further. Like a glutton for punishment, she pressed a highlighted link near the top of her screen.
She's so fat and ugly. How can this be the new Shancai?
Look at those stumpy legs – they look like tree trunks.
Why the hell did they cast her? Barbie was so much prettier!
She's too ugly for the male lead. No one will buy them as a couple.
Can she even act? Her face just looks stupid all the time.
One after another, the stinging insults and harsh criticisms lined up in little comment boxes that seemed to go on forever. As if the angry posts were not enough, the netizens made certain that the Internet knew exactly who they were unhappy with by tagging her full name and linking her social media accounts. She swallowed the lump in her throat. They were nothing if not thorough.
Yue scolded herself for feeling bad. It wasn't as if this was some new occurrence. These types of comments first appeared after she did some light modeling work, significantly increased in number after A Love So Beautiful premiered, and finally reached an awful peak after that scandalous voice recording came out. She never thought to ask him if it was true, if that was really his voice on the recording, because she didn't want to know; but days later, his apologetic voicemail all but confirmed it.
She had felt that betrayal deep in her bones. She wanted to scream and yell, to lash out and call him a bastard for his thoughtless and reckless remarks, to hurt and embarrass him like he had hurt and embarrassed her. She wanted to tell the netizens to all shut up, to mind their own damn business, to understand that she was an actress and not their own personal punching bag. But she did none of those things because she knew it wouldn't help. It would only flame the rumors and further stir the heated discussions when what she really wanted was... silence. To have it all stop. To move on. She detested the unwanted attention, absolutely despised the intense scrutiny and hateful gossip; she always felt impossibly trapped and closed in during those times and she did what she had to do to get out of it. Even if it meant suffering in silence while the rumors blazed around her.
It had taken months of her resilient silence - her absolute refusal to respond to any questions about the alleged incident - before the scandal finally died down and she could breathe again.
Yue was about to shut off her phone when the next comment in line caught her eye.
Maybe Shen Yue will get hit by a bus and they'll have a reason to replace her.
She couldn't help the devastated gasp that fell from her lips or the sting of tears that suddenly blurred her vision as the malicious words sank in. She had gotten a lot of hate over the past few years, but never a death wish.
Her guilty mind automatically went to her family - her parents, her younger brother, her grandparents - what would they think if they saw this comment? Why would anyone write such a thing? What had she done to make them hate her so much?
Knock knock.
Yue took several deep breaths and struggled valiantly to hold herself together. Her van must be here. Quickly rubbing the tears out of her eyes, she grabbed her bag and swung the door open expecting to find her driver. She stepped back in surprise when Dylan stood in front of her with a basketball tucked under his arm. The smile on his face faded as he took in her tear-rimmed eyes and tense demeanor. "What's wrong?" he asked, vaguely aware that something had happened but completely oblivious to the emotional turmoil she had just endured.
Yue quickly schooled her face into a bright smile. "Nothing," she said, trying unsuccessfully to squeeze past him.
Dylan grabbed her wrist and held her in place. "Liar."
"Let me go."
His hold on her only tightened. "No."
Yue bristled at his deliberate obstinance and unwanted presence. Why can't he just leave? What the hell was he doing here anyway? Didn't he go home hours ago after his scenes were done? It was just like him to show up where he wasn't wanted, to be all up in her personal space when the only thing she wanted was to be left the hell alone!
She threw his hand off of her and glared at him. "Go away, Wang He Di. I'm not in the mood to joke around right now. Just go!"
"Not until you tell me what's wrong," Dylan stubbornly replied.
God, he could be so infantile. He never took what she said seriously. All he ever did was play around and smile his stupid smile and be his happy self. She couldn't recall a time when he looked stressed, or sad, or any way out of sorts. Somewhere in the dark recesses of her mind, Yue knew she was being unfair towards Dylan; however, rationality lost out to the litany of other explosive emotions roiling within her that was threatening to spill over.
Right now, all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry her eyes out, but she couldn't do that because he was inexplicably here when she desperately needed him to go away.
"Let me go," she repeated more firmly.
He refused and she tried once again to push past him. She finally made it through the door but lost her bag in the process. As it dropped to the ground, her phone fell out, its bright light shining against the darkened floor.
Dylan grabbed the phone before she could even make a move, his alert eyes swiftly moving across the lit screen.
"What the hell..." he muttered, his eyes narrowing as he read comment after nasty comment. She knew when he got to the death wish because his hand began gripping her phone so tightly that she could have sworn he was going to break it in half.
"What the hell is this, Shen Yue?" he demanded, his voice filled with disgust and rage as he handed her back the phone.
Her hands shook as she returned it to her purse. "None of your business," she replied stoically, walking quickly towards the front of the set where the van should be waiting for her by now. She was a ticking time bomb of various emotions – hurt, anger, frustration, humiliation and a great deal more – and she needed to get away from him before she said something she'd regret.
But Dylan was annoyingly persistent as he followed her. "They're wishing death on you now! How can you let them treat you that way? Say something! Fight back! They're out of line and if you don't say something now, they'll never stop."
His accusatory words stung and Yue could feel her eyes burning with unshed tears. Was she really that big of a coward in Dylan's eyes? Did he really believe that she wouldn't do any of those things if she truly thought they would help? No, she stayed silent because it would only make things worse. She was only beginning her career. She needed to lay low, to fall into line, to be the bigger person. How dare he judge her without knowing the whole story?
Furious, she shoved at his shoulders and tried to push him as far away from her as possible. "You don't know anything, Wang He Di! Engaging them will just show them that I care. It'll only get worse if they know their words truly affected me. Can you understand that?"
Dylan's hoarse voice was filled with frustration as he tried to get her to see his side. "You're better than them, Shen Yue! Where's your fighting spirit? God, you doing it again. You're letting people step all over you. You're acting like a doormat - just like you did when Hu Yitian made those assinine comments and you just let it go when you should have called him out for it!"
Yue gasped and stepped back as if he had slapped her. Nobody, nobody had dared to bring up her ex-costar's name in front of her since the recording was leaked. Until now.
Yue finally let loose all of the emotions that had been building up inside of her, derision permeating her voice as she lashed out at him. "How dare you! It must be so easy to be you, Wang He Di – always happy, always smiling. Everything just comes so easily to you, doesn't it? The Internet loves you and you just take it all in. You don't know what it's like to have people doubt you or hate on you so save your useless opinion on this subject because I don't want to hear it!"
Now Dylan was the one that was offended. "First of all, I am not happy all the time and you are sorely mistaken and completely naive if you believe that garbage to be true. Second, I don't care what people say - I defend myself when people try to put me down."
"How fortunate for you that you are a man so the media and the netizens are a lot more forgiving of you when you speak your mind," Yue spat out sarcastically.
Dylan quirked a brow, his tone challenging. "Why do you let them treat you differently just because you are a woman?"
His words struck a sensitive nerve and Yue's chest heaved in sheer resentment as she glared at him. How dare he brush off her feelings as if they weren't valid? Of course he wouldn't understand how trapped she felt - he was Wang He Di, wanna-be flight attendant turned super idol turned movie star. Everything was handed to him on a silver platter. He was outrageously handsome and maddeningly confident. He would never understand how she felt at this very moment.
"I'm not letting them do anything! This is my choice! Just shut up - I don't want to hear you talk anymore! You think that just because we've been working together for the past few months that you can pass judgment on what I do or don't do? Screw you, Wang He Di - you don't know me and you never will!"
A black van pulled up to the curb and Yue ran straight for it. Tossing her belongings inside, she slammed the door closed behind her, trying desperately to take in as much oxygen as she could to get rid of the suffocating feeling that was burning in her chest. She could hear Dylan call to her from outside the vehicle but she didn't respond; she couldn't even if she had wanted to, her emotions so raw that she could barely breathe. The bile rose in her throat and she choked back a sob as hot tears welled up behind her eyes.
"Miss Shen? What..."
"Home please," she whispered, unable to trust her voice.
The driver nodded, understanding her silent request to not ask any further questions. He checked his driver side mirror and slowly pulled away from the curb.
She didn't cry until Dylan disappeared from the rearview mirror; she didn't stop until they finally reached her apartment.
***
Hi,
I appreciate you all reading, voting, leaving comments, and having discussions with me on this story. I always enjoy hearing your opinions, good or bad, because it lets me know what's working and helps me to improve.
Thanks again for taking the time.
Until we meet again,
J.