Sun Tan - Wallows
Man Down - Rihanna
Her eyes widen as I stab repeatedly in her chest, over and over again. She sways as I stab her 10, 11, 12 times and finally stab a 13th time and leave the needle in her abdomen. She falls to the floor, blood spewing from her midsection and over the once pristine floor. I didn't even notice my heavy breathing until after I watch her fall to the floor, gasping for the last bits of life.
I didn't even notice my heavy breathing until she was lying still. I drop the now destroyed needle onto the ground next to her. What have I done? I roll back off my shoulder and onto my back, which instantly squishes against the pooling blood. I once again staring up at a ceiling, but this time, the ceiling wasn't like constellations. This time, the ceiling was dark and retched.
I just killed a woman. I killed a living breathing person, someone who had a life. Someone who was going to kill me. I shut my eyes and listen to the unsteady breathing escaping my lips and the uneven rhythm Jase's made with mine. He hadn't moved since she pushed him into the table, or at least from my assumption. I could feel her blood seeping into my own clothes and burying itself into my skin like a tattoo. I didn't have anything else to do, I had to kill her. I had to.
I open my eyes and look over at Jase, who was staring at his lifeless mother with a confused look. His hands were balled into fists, but not like he was angry. Just resting on top of the chair he was half sitting in and half falling out of. I could see the speckles of blood from his mother littering his lower legs. It reminded me of the day I escaped the first time.
What do I do next? I just killed a woman, my leg was broken and my kidnapper seemed entranced by the fact his mother was dead. What could I do? I turn away from Jase and look at the open fridge. Now that I was much more awake, I could realize the impact Jase was starting to have on me. I was trying to trick him this whole time into believing I was someone different when I was actually tricking myself. Hell, I killed an evil woman all by myself, right? That had to mean I could do something without him.
"Are you hurt?" I look back at Jase, who was still staring at his mother. Did he even say that? Or was it the corpse?
"Are you?" Jase repeats, more clearly and loudly. His eyes glance down at me, only to look at my face and then back to his mother. As if she would get up at any moment.
"Not from her," I murmur and prop myself up on my elbows. I could feel her wet blood on my skin and smell the rotten copper odor. I gag once it hits the back of my throat and force myself not to cover my mouth. It would only spread more blood on my face, which would definitely not make a good time for me.
"This is a dream, right? She's going to get back up, just like every other time, right?" Jase starts to fiddle with his fingers, never breaking away from his mother. I look back at her body, her ugly form and shake my head. He seemed more fragile now than he ever was. I needed to use this, maybe I could get him to take me to a real hospital or better.
"She's dead, Jase. She can't do anything to us-you. Nothing to you," Jase looks at me, really looks at me. Examining my face and trailing his eyes down my body, stopping at my leg.
"She won't? You did that? Just for me?" I nod my head. He cracks the tiniest of smiles at me and lowers his head. I couldn't tell if my efforts were enough. But I had to try.
"Don't you think we should leave? I did this for us, don't you think you should do something for me?" I could see him furrow his eyebrows and stop fiddling with his fingers. Please let this work. Please let him be so broken that'd he'd listen to me.
"You love me right? So you'd do anything for me? Get me out of here and take me to a hospital or my house or anywhere other than here!" I sharply say and he looks at me, tears that I didn't see earlier rolling down his cheeks.
"I do love you," He whispers and drops down on his knees in front of me, kneeling in his mother's blood. His hands fall into them, smacking on the tiles. He then raises both of them to cup my face. The stench swarms my nostrils and I cringe from it. I could feel the warmth from his hands mix with the cool blood and force myself to keep a straight face.
"Prove it to me, show me how much you love me. Get. Me. Out of here," I say, loud and proud. He stares at me for a moment longer and drops his hand from my face. He lays his hands flat in the blood and pushes himself up, his head staring down at the stained tile floor.
"Where do you want to go?"
//
The truck car produced little heat as we drove down the basically abandoned road. I expected Jase to deny my request to leave, hell, I expected him to lock me back in the room in the basement. There was so much I didn't know about him, even though his biggest secrets were spilled to me like his mother's blood on my hands.
I didn't know how to feel anymore. I never thought I would be able to kill an animal much less a person. Not until I met Jase that is. I wanted to kill him, I really did. I wanted it to be him on the floor bleeding out and gasping for air, especially after the chilling words from the other night when we were alone. I had a feeling his mother stopped by much too often, when I was asleep or unconscious, to be exact. It made me think how well she knew the house and how well their relationship really was.
I was destroyed when my parents died. I maybe didn't admit it or didn't show it from time to time, but I wasn't heartless. I didn't know the definition until I met Jase. There was the theme of meeting Jase know that I thought about it more. Everything went to hell with him. Yet, I found myself less disgusted than earlier. Deep down I knew I had a dependence on him now. But I also knew that I was my own person. I knew that no matter where I was or who I ended up with, I wasn't going to let someone take my life away.
"We're here," Jase declares, stopping the truck. I peel myself away from my thoughts and squint my eyes at the house. My house, my grandmother's house.
"I thought we were going to a hospital," I say, confused. The house still looked the same, minus the light snow that had settled on the roof and the dead grass where my car used to sit. Jase gets out of the car and walks over to my side. My broken leg was covered by a couple of blankets, pushing the bone down and out of the way. Well, out of his way.
"I can't do that," He says after he opened the door. He looked sadder, but with that made him sound like a normal person. I didn't like that he sounded human.
"Why not? Stop!" I yell as he picks me up and slams the car door shut with his foot. I push myself off of his shoulder as he carries me down to the scratched door. It's easily pushed open, revealing the slightly messy scene I had left the house in. Jase puts me on the couch and sits across from me on the other couch.
"I thought you loved me," I start but he raises his hand. Fear flood my system as he stands up and walks over to the window, staring at the thin layer of snow on the ground.
"I love you. I do. But I can't risk ending up like my father. I can't go back," He says, placing his hand on the glass. If I wasn't like this, I would complain about fingerprints on the glass. I watch him as he turns to look back at me and soak him in. His hair was still vibrant black from the dye, unlike mine. No more bandaids on his nose and his glasses weren't even on his face. This wasn't the same man who kidnapped me, but I wasn't the same girl he kidnapped.
"You won't. I promise. I just can't live like this, with a broken leg. If you really loved me, you wouldn't care." This makes Jase suck in a harsh breath and fully turn his body to look at me.
"You even sound like her, you know? I didn't want you to, but it happened anyway. Acacia, why do you sound like mother?" My eyes widen and I stare blankly at him. Did he really just say that? I guess I did sound controlling, but I knew that it was just to get him to take me somewhere public. Could he see through that? Could he read my mind?
"All this time, I wanted someone who could make me feel different, give me something different. But it's happened again. She's tainted you," He walks towards me and I throw my hands up to him.
"Now, wait a minute! I helped you dye your hair, I killed her! She's gone, I did that! That counts for something, that's different!"
"It's not enough. I want more," Jase cruelly says and balls his hands into fists. I had to get out of here, I knew what was going to come next before he even moved. I was going to die here.
"Please...I...I love you!" I plead. I mentally prepare to leap from the couch with my good leg as he starts to chuckle, still looking down plainly at the floor.
"I wish you hadn't said that." Jase leaps for me, his hands out ready to grab my throat. I push myself up with my good foot and propel myself forward, limping. He hits the couch and immediately is turned toward me. Before my hand could grab the stair banister, he grabs me by my shirt and pulls me back to him. My hand barely grazes the wood as I'm thrown to the floor. Once again, I am greeted with a cool floor and a monster staring down at me. I cast my eyes down at the table legs and spot the last book I had read. A very thick book.
"Let's get this over with, love. I will see you in the next life," Jase sadly says, reaching down to my neck and grasping it between his hands. My hand grips the thick book and I slam it against his skull three times before he lets go of my neck. I push myself up on my elbows as he falls next to me, gripping his head. I inch my way up to the stairs and grab onto the carpeted stairs. I needed to get up there so I could lock myself in one of the rooms and call the police. I know my mom had a flip phone in her room.
I could hear Jase groaning behind me as I pull myself up the steps, using my good foot to push up and my hand to pull up. I was halfway up the stairs when I hear his deep, hearty laugh.
"You can't escape me! Just wait until I get up there!" He groans after saying this, but I start to tune him out and focus on getting up the last few steps. I mentally yell in happiness when my hands are flat on the top floor. I grip the banister and pull myself up on my good leg and start to limp towards my mother's door. I could already hear him coming up the stairs, ready to go in for the kill.
"Acacia! I'm coming!" I grip onto the door handle like it was my best friend and shove it open, throwing myself onto the floor as the door shuts. Where was the phone? Fuck it, I needed a weapon at this point. Did I really think I could kill Jase? I mean, I knew I wanted to, but could I out trick him enough to get his guard down? He was so set on killing me now.
I pull myself up on the door handle and lock the door. I could hear footsteps now, much louder than before.
"Acacia! Where could you be?" Jase yells, rabidly. I limp towards her bed, grazing the scraps of the computer on the floor from when Jase broke in. I start to feel the bone in my leg protrude from my skin and wince as I flop onto the bed stomach first. I roll onto my back and back onto my stomach, so my face was now eye level to the desk drawer beside the bed. I hear Jase jumbling the doorknob before my mother's room and I frantically search through the drawer. I know it was in here, I remember it like it was my first date.
I wasn't going to die like this. I survived too much to die this easily, right? I still had so many questions that needed to be answered, so many refreshing moments to live. I throw out pictures and a charm box, not caring if Jase heard me. All I needed was to dial 911 and I would be saved. Even if it took them forever to get here, right? My hand wraps around a letter opener and I almost toss it with the charm box.
"Acacia, I know you're in there! Come on, my love, come out to play!" Jase yells, banging on the door. I tuck the letter opener in the waistband of my pants in the front and roll on my back, staring at the shaking door.
"Come get me, asshole!" I scream and the door bursts open. I could see a thin line of blood dripping down from his forehead and the redskin where the book hit him. His eyes were no longer humanized like before; they were dark and clouded with rage. Jase steps forward and stares at me like a piece of scum under his boot.
"Such a dirty little mouth you've acquired. I wish I could tell you how much I don't want to hurt you, but right now you would look amazing with that bare neck in my hands," His voice is much raspier now, most likely from yelling so much. I flip myself on my stomach and try to toss myself off the bed and onto the floor opposite from him where the window was. I could see the sun peeking in from the curtains like it wanted me to come to find it. Jase tsks and grabs the bottom part of my broken leg, yanking it back. I could feel the skin stretch and a pop from the bones. I yelp and shake him from my leg and his grip falters enough for me to get my leg on the ground.
"It's over, I called the police!" I yell at him and he stops. I could see his dark hair sticking up from the covers in my position. He starts to chuckle and his hair moves to around the bed, revealing his entire get up.
"We both know that's impossible. There's no phone in this house! I made sure of that," Jase enunciates the last part. I start to inch my way towards the wall of the window and grip onto the wood, pulling myself up. He approaches me and leans down to me, his rancid breath almost on my cheek before I use my good leg to push him back
"Such a naughty girl, why won't you let me have you? Let me keep you in death, let me destroy what I created!" He yells and grabs my foot, slamming my body into the wall twice. I could feel my head hit the wood and wince when I hear the thud.
"It was me all this time, wasn't it? That's why you turned out like mother. You wanted to please me and did it the wrong way, right? Right!" I shut my eyes and he lets go of my foot. My breath was rapid at this point, echoing in my head like a canyon. My hand grips the curtain of the window as I hear him move closer to me. I feel his hand on my waist and open my eyes, tossing the long curtain at him and wrapping myself inside so we were side by side.
"Gah!" He yells as I make us turn around and around. He puts another hand on my hip and we spin until we are pressed against the window. Jase pulls the curtain off of us and grabs the back of my neck, pressing my face to the window and grabbing my left hand.
"I didn't like that! Now I'm dizzy!" Jase complains, gripping my neck tighter and pressing me into the glass. There was no screen, and it was a long drop to the bottom. Well, long enough not to survive. I stare down at the ground and start to plot out my own funeral. I didn't want to die like this, hell, I would have taken being choked to death. Jase turns me over and now presses my back to the glass, grabbing my throat from the front now. He looks at me for a while, both of our breath syncing into the same fast and heavy pace.
"We could have had a perfect life. Just you and me and maybe even mother. No, even without her we could have had a good life. But you didn't want to listen to me. You couldn't listen to me!" I move my head to the side to keep from getting his breath straight in my face. That only makes his face move closer to mine, so we were nose to cheek. It gives me the opportunity to slowly move my hand to the letter opener. The grip on my neck tightens and I start to choke.
"I still love you, though. I still think you're the most beautiful person I've ever met. I still want to keep you. But I know you have to die. And I'm going to miss playing with you," Jase whispers and presses his lips to my cheek. His lips were cracked yet still soft like a roasted marshmallow.
"Jase?" I choke out. The grip on my neck loosens a bit so I could gasp for some air.
"Yes?" He answers, eagerly.
"I hope you burn in hell." In one motion, I grasp the letter opener and stab him in the throat. He makes a sputtering noise and I grab onto his already bloody shirt and slam him against the window. The glass shatters and he grabs onto my arm as he starts to fall out of the window. His fingernails dig into my arm, but I throw myself back making him lose his grip. I fall onto my butt and listen to the sound of his body hitting the ground below.